Hate 4th wall. Love breaking. One nice guy. Two personalities.
Twilight has learnt a spell that allows her to see other possibilities that could happen to her, her friends and Equestria. Read as Twilight and Spike spend their afternoons exploring the odds in the universe as it changes from timeline to timeline.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Eh its pretty bad, mostly the grammar and misspelling
It was pretty rushed not enough time to feel anything I mean the misspells were fucking hilarious keep at them if you want to make your stories sarcastic, "Twilight was panic" lmao
And the characters you really twisted their personalities you said "My rules" without the author's note function which was pretty poorly done, and anyways it wasn't an MLP fan fiction any more at all, almost everything you wrote were out of the characters personalities field it's like you took some generic stories personalities and took MLP's characters with those generic personalities which is complete bullshit In My Opinion buuut~ anyways I think the last thing I wanted to mention you should've split this up into multiple chapters and with better grammar and spelling of course (its very important its story writing 101) I'd recommend learning as much as you could, and if you don't feel like doing that you could always try to ask for some assistance from a good friend of yours who can speak English well, and I think that's it.
P.s I tried making this as easy as possible to read and understand and also I have nothing against you, you seem like a pretty nice dude actually, I just get angry when I see something bad, like really really bad.
P.s.s almost forgot, try to watch as much of the show as possible to try to relate and understand the characters and try to perfect them and know their exact personalities by yourself.
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Hey, English is not my main language. But I thought writing would improve it, so I gave it a try. I know that I will have grammar trouble. Seeing people commenting like this really helps me a lot. I will learn more and improve my writing.
Character's personalities twist, genetic stories amd that "My rules" thing, they're kinda my thing. Maybe it's because I read too much fan comics and want to write a fiction that feels like a comic.
I will have more chapters coming. Each chapter is a different story, different timeline. I don't like one story to be told in many chapters, not my thing.
Anyway, thank you for posting comments and pointing out my flaws. REALLY helped me a lot.
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P.s.s.s I love your OC its really cute
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You defiantly need a English speaking editor. Otherwise good, just needs some technical assistance.