Princess Power Boot Camp

by Flapjaw

We Take Weekends Off

“You look terrible.”

“I know, Moondancer.” The first week of training had passed, and Twilight Sparkle was in desperate need of a bath. Before taking the effort to do so, she decided to spend some time sitting squarely on her flanks on a couch in the eastern study hall. There was a crystal table between her and Moondancer, and a trio of windows to her right, letting in the soft light of the late afternoon, slowly dissolving into twilight. “I haven’t been sleeping well.”

“Really?” Moondancer had been prepared for her reason to be the intense training, so restless sleep was a surprising addition. Certainly she’d seemed irritable in the mornings, but Moondancer had assumed that attitude was attributable to the training as well. “Considering the amount of strenuous physical activity you’ve been put through I’d have expected your body to shut down hastily at night.”

“Luna is having a rougher time of it, having to completely flip her sleeping schedule, but there’s just something gnawing at my thoughts, keeping me awake. I don’t know. Maybe it’s just stress.”

“Alicorns were known to have vague premonitions of the future. You should give these strange feelings deeper consideration.”

“I--” Twilight wasn’t even sure of what she’d been about to say when the door to the neighboring library wing opened to reveal a tall unicorn with a broken horn. “Fizzy! Sorry I haven’t seen much of you this week. Rainbow and the others have been keeping me busy, but we have the weekends off so…” Twilight trailed off, noticing Fizzlepop’s serious gaze. “Is something wrong?”

“No. Nothing.” She swallowed hard, trying to get some moisture to her suddenly dry throat. She seemed to be having trouble holding Twilight’s gaze, but shook herself to banish her nerves. “Princess Twilight Sparkle,” she began, bending her right knee and sliding her left hoof forward, gracefully dipping into a deep, respectful bow. “I hereby accept your most gracious offer to Captain your Guard, if you will still have me.”

“Of course I will, Fizzy!” Fizzlepop looked up at Twilight with a small frown, but swiftly averted her gaze back to the floor. “Uh…”

“Wrong tone, Princess.” Moondancer made sure to emphasize that last word so emphatically that redundancy would be required to fully elucidate the degree of her emphasis to any third parties in the future.

“Right, point made.” Twilight stepped off the couch and tucked her wings to her sides, turning to Fizzlepop and cantering to her confidently. “As the Equestrian Princess of Friendship and the Element of Magic, I, Twilight Sparkle of Canterlot, dub thee Captain Fizzlepop Berrytwist of the new Twilight Guard. Furthermore you are the founding member, the Mistress of Arms, and the trainer of the first platoon.” As she proceeded with her improvised speech, Twilight placed her horn on Fizzlepop’s shoulders in a blessing motion. “You are my Sword, my Shield, and my Friend. All foes of Equestria who dare to live will fear your name. Rise, Captain.” She did, finally feeling truly free of her past and ready to forge a brighter future.

“Thank you, my Princess. I shall not fail you.”

Moondancer felt chills run down her spine, barely resisting the urge to clap. “Yes, that was much better.”

“With this I declare that we should congregate with the others in the great hall for blueberry muffins and peppermint tea.” Many of her other friends would have groaned to hear Twilight speak with such regal flare, especially about something so mundane, but Fizzlepop and Moondancer didn’t mind at all.

“I’ll ask Spike to prepare a mug of coffee for me instead.”

“Moondancer, it’s past 7:00 PM!” As they kept walking Moondancer pondered over Twilight’s declaration, genuinely confused.

“What does that have to do with my beverage preference?”

“It’s late.” Twilight reiterated, but Moondancer just stared back at her as they kept walking through the halls. “Coffee has a high level of caffeine in it.” Moondancer’s eyes narrowed with concentration.

“…Is this a riddle?” Moondancer’s obliviousness seemed ridiculous enough to Fizzlepop to make her giggle, but when Twilight looked in her direction she cleared her throat and tried to look stoic and serious.

Then Twilight draped a wing over her back and she almost tripped over her own hooves. “You’re allowed to laugh, Fizzy.” Twilight spoke kindly, nuzzling her neck. “Don’t forget the ‘Friend’ part of my Declaration of Captaincy.”

“Okay, Twilight. You win.” Fizzlepop managed to let herself relax after that, a happy smile gracing her face.

There was also a slight grinding noise coming from Moondancer’s direction, for some reason.

---

“We have created perhaps the best lecture on military strategy our world has yet seen, fair Grubber!” Flash Magnus stated with pride and quite a bit more volume than was strictly necessary. “Do say you will celebrate with us tomorrow.” Grubber wasn’t accustomed to the absolute deluge of friendly banter and good humor that came from working so closely with ponies who weren’t scarred for life and Tartarusbent on vengeance and retribution, but he had to admit to himself that he was enjoying it immensely.

“Hey, I’m not one to turn down free food, Flash. It’s not like I’m the one whose been bustin’ his ass outside all week. I got plenty of energy left for dancing like a dummy.” Pinkie Pie had taken the fact that they had weekends to themselves for some down time and recovery to mean that there would be parties every weekend, and she was in charge of running them, obviously. Rainbow thought it sounded like a good way to bring everypony closer together so she’d encouraged it, on the stipulations that any pony who was too exhausted to attend be allowed their alone time and Sundays would still be reserved for non-physical lessons.

“Ah, the frail recruits return!” The sixteen stallions Spitfire had been training all week limped their way into the hall behind a hooffull of genuine Wonderbolts, glancing at the Pillars and the Elements who happened to be present with embarrassed frowns. “If any program can shape them into true pegasus warriors it is this one.” As Twilight entered the hall with Moondancer and Fizzlepop, Flash raised his mug of cider high and called out to the room. “I declare a toast to the mind that brought us together! To Princess Twilight!” The other occupants of the room raised a drink of their own or shouted in agreement, bringing a blush to Twilight's face.

“What are they talking about?” Twilight whispered to the ponies beside her.

“A rumor has been circulating which I suspect is true.” Moondancer couldn't keep the smirk off her face as she spoke. “Apparently you were the pony to assemble the list of trainers for this enterprise.”

“I formulated the initial list, yes, but the other Princesses helped me finalize everything.”

“Really?” Moondancer asked. Twilight nodded emphatically. “And how much did they change?”

Twilight’s expression became blank and she just stared at Moondancer for several seconds before speaking again. “No comment.”

Fizzlepop laughed, hooking her arm over Twilight’s back and stretching the other toward Moondancer. “Got ‘er! Up top!”

Moondancer looked at the offered hoof, then at Fizzlepop’s smiling face, then to Twilight. “What is this?” She asked.

“It is called either a ‘hoof-bump’ or a ‘brohoof’ and is done in celebration of a well delivered jest. ‘Good one’ and ‘up top’ are common ways to indicate the desired return gesture along with the raised hoof. Observe.” Twilight then clopped her hoof into Fizzlepop’s mechanically for demonstrative purposes. “That completes the social ritual.”

Fizzlepop pulled her arms back and frowned at Twilight. “Don’t you think that’s taking the sarcasm a bit far?”

Moondancer and Twilight both looked at her with raised eyebrows and said, “What sarcasm?” at the same time.

Fizzlepop shook her head in exasperation. “You’re lucky you’re cute.” Twilight blushed and Moondancer huffed.

“Um, which one of us?” Twilight asked, trying to dodge the implications.

Fizzlepop glanced at them with a critical gaze and then gave a slight nod. “Both of you.” Suddenly Moondancer was blushing too. “Some would say you’re ‘adorkable.’”

“I’m flattered, Fizzlepop, but we’re not really into mares--”

“Speak for yourself, Twilight.”

“Oh!” Twilight’s blush grew with her embarrassment. “I’m so sorry, Moondancer.”

“You’re into mares?” Fizzlepop asked.

“Are you into mares?” Moondancer deflected.

“No, I’m-- well I don’t think I am, but I didn’t really grow up around other ponies.” Fizzlepop glanced up at the ceiling as she thought back to her days as a filly after running away from her village. “It was mostly bears, wolves, manticores, chupacabra, and vampiric jackalopes, until I made my way South to the Storm Isles and the yetis.” Then she glanced back down to Moondancer expectantly.

“Fine. I find mares marginally less annoying than stallions, but books are by far superior to both.” They all shared a good laugh at that, after which Moondancer gently readjusted her glasses. “Setting jokes aside, I don’t think any of us is quite romantically experienced enough to be certain of what we want just yet.” Twilight nodded at that and took a moment to look around the room, spotting Mistmane with Capper and Fluttershy at a table to the right, Grubber and Flash Magnus across the hall from them, Celestia and Luna were eating muffins to Twilight’s left, and Applejack was off to the left on the other side looking sloshed and leaning on Rockhoof for support. Spike was shaking his head as he walked away from Applejack to get more snacks from the kitchen, his lightly stained apron evidence of his involvement in preparing them.

Those elements accounted for, Twilight let her gaze drift to the cluster of pegasus stallions in the center of the hall. Many of them seemed to be taking the opportunity they had to be near royalty and legendary ponies in a casual setting to ogle the most striking mares in the room. If Celestia and Luna noticed them staring, they didn’t show it. Twilight even saw a few of the young stallions staring at Fizzlepop and she shook her wings in agitation, her feathers getting a bit ruffled. She should have expected such behavior, considering they were on hoof to be beaten down by the Princesses in several challenges and thought the price worth the reward. The price and reward were the same thing, of course, which just made it weirder. “Checking out the stallions, huh?” Twilight paled, frozen by that accursed voice. How had she not heard or seen Cadance's approach? She didn’t have the answer. “Which one has the best butt?”

Twilight let out a long-suffering sigh. “I don’t know, Cadance. You’re the expert; why don’t you tell me?”

“Oh don’t be like that, Twilight.” Cadance waved a wing in a gesture that indicated some mixture of teasing, admonishment, and disappointment. Twilight knew because she’d studied pegasus wing expression many years ago, and Cadance had been a pegasus before becoming an alicorn. “I know you have a thing for a stallion in uniform.” It was true that she’d developed a minor fixation on Guards as a filly from spending too much time with Shining’s charming, buff, and sometimes sweaty friends as a filly. She closed her eyes, trying to will away the dirty thoughts.

“They aren’t in uniform.” Twilight rebuked. “They are wannabe Wonderbolts who rushed here at the prospect of me punching them in the face. I might just oblige them sometime.”

“Twilight, be nice!”

“They can’t hear me.” Cadance ignored that detail completely.

“These stallions might have been gunning for the Wonderbolts before--”

“And right now.”

“--but who’s to say they won’t adjust their career path soon, hmmm?” Cadance began to waggle her eyebrows suggestively. “Maybe a few of them will decide to join your Guard instead after they get to know you.”

“You mean after they decide I have a nice ass.” Twilight was doing her best to say anything she could to get Cadance to drop the inane topic but it didn’t seem to be working.

“And what’s wrong with that?” Cadance intoned sweetly, leaning down and breathing over Twilight’s ear, her target clearly becoming flustered. “Come on, you know you can’t resist a tall, armoured Guard, especially if he’s a Captain.” Twilight glanced involuntarily at Fizzlepop for a split second, and that was plenty long enough for Cadance to notice and seal her fate. “No way!”

“Cadance, shut up.”

“This is soooo cute!”

“Stop talking.” She didn’t.

“Oh, they grow up so fast. Why haven’t you talked to me about this?”

“About what?” Fizzlepop asked, a little annoyed to be totally ignored for so long only to have Cadance glancing at her suddenly with an expression Fizzlepop couldn’t place.

Cadance gasped, lifting a wing to her face, her eyes glimmering and a smile growing. “Cadance, I will kill you.” Twilight glared daggers at her old foalsitter, deathly serious.

“Pfft! You will not.”

“You shall be destroyed by feathery pillows; it is a slow and fluffy death.”

“Okay okay, fine.” She relented, dropping and folding her wings to her sides. “I’ll drop it… for now.” Twilight didn’t think that would last long considering she was currently sharing her room with Cadance as well as Moondancer, but it didn’t matter because there was nothing to drop as far as Twilight was concerned. She had thought of and glanced at Fizzlepop because she had just become her Captain a short while ago and not because she was tall and sexy. That rationalization had the unintended side-effect of Twilight admitting to herself that Fizzlepop was tall and sexy. Twilight caught Moondancer staring at her with her ‘intense study’ eyes and a slightly larger frown than usual, which was making Twilight more and more uncomfortable with each passing second. Cadance was looking between the three of them and started frowning herself, Fizzlepop staring back up at the pink Princess as if desperately trying to understand the many subtle social cues flying around. Vampiric jackalopes never frowned vaguely. Fizzlepop wanted the hissing, fluffy death bunnies back.

Twilight glanced at the levitating cider mug Cadance had brought with her and nodded to herself. “Okay, Spike is taking his time so I’ll help him in the kitchen and then be back with our drinks.”

“Princess--” Fizzlepop was going to object to Twilight doing peasant work for her subjects, but Twilight had already teleported across the hall. She had the foresight to realize that the kitchen would be too busy for her to wink right into it, potentially splicing herself with someone, but she didn’t have the patience to not immediately teleport away from everypony. “Why doesn’t she have servants for that sort of thing?”

“We know, right?”

“Hey Auntie Luna, Celly.” In stark contrast to Cadance's casual greeting, Fizzlepop fell into a full bow. “Oh stop it, Fizzy.” Since Cadance was an honorary Equestrian Princess, Fizzlepop took her word as an order and stood back up. “You need to relax, missy. None of us holds a grudge for you whooping our flanks or anything, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“I--”

“On the contrary.” Luna interrupted as if Cadance had been talking to her instead. “We find it most pleasant that at least somepony around these days respects Us.”

“Luna, I still respect you.” Celestia was apologetic and sincere, but her statement only frustrated Luna further.

“’We’! ‘Us’ I said! The only ponies who show deference to royalty do so almost sarcastically while tittering to themselves obnoxiously! We are disappointed that you have forgotten what the royal ‘We’ means, Sister.”

Moondancer glared at Luna with barely contained agitation. “You literally misused the royal ‘We’ in that very sentence.”

“You see, Tia? This mortal brazenly seeks to correct Us, not fearing retribution of any sort.”

“Lulu, we don’t punish ponies for being right.” Luna didn’t have anything to say to that so she just chugged her mug of cider indignantly. “So, Fizzlepop, the week is almost up; have you made your decision?”

“Yes, Princess. I have accepted Twilight's offer.”

“Splendid news!” Luna shouted suddenly, pulling Fizzlepop into a side-hug and stage-whispering into her ear. “Soon you and I shall fill these halls with maids, butlers, cooks, and harem ponies so Twilight may focus on what is truly important.”

“Of course.” Fizzlepop managed an actual whisper, trying not to splay her ear back in spite of how much she wished to. “And what is truly important?”

“We don’t know. Taxes or something. Oh! And kicking flank!”

“Lulu, Twilight doesn’t need harem ponies. We don’t even have those anymore.”

“Shush, Sister. You did not hear Us! We were being quiet and sneaky.” Clearly the Princesses were aiming to have a hangover before the party on the following day.

---

“Spike, save me from those crazy ponies.”

“Got my claws full with a few of my own here, Twilight.” Starlight, Sunburst, Sunset, and Stygian were frantically moving from space to space along the counters of the cavernous castle kitchen, managing to put about 18% of the space to good use with a 2% margin for error by Twilight's swift estimation. The entire rest of the kitchen was occupied by a pink blur of constant motion that paused for only a split second to wave at Twilight as she entered. “Even Pinkie needs help getting everything ready for the party tomorrow, and I have to worry about all those ponies trying to celebrate early, too. Did you know Luna has had a dozen ciders already?”

Twilight quirked a brow at him. “Applejack was the one who looked truly hammered. I guess an ancient alicorn might have higher tolerance than an earth farm-pony by a small margin. How many has AJ had?”

“She’s the one supplying the cider, remember? I’m pretty sure she has her own secret stash somewhere; I can’t keep track of her.”

Twilight nodded, stepping deeper into the kitchen. “I guess that makes sense. How do I get two cups of peppermint tea, four blueberry muffins, and one mug of black coffee?”

“Next batch of muffins is coming out in a few minutes from the East oven.” He pointed her in the right direction and Twilight cantered over to Sunset and Stygian, noting the kettle heating on the stove over the oven.

She also noticed Stygian had a carafe of coffee next to him and a mug in his telekinesis. Moondancer definitely wasn’t the only coffee addict in the castle. “Hey there, Sunset, Stygian.”

“Princess Twilight!” Sunset pulled Twilight into a tight hug, not bothered by the fact that the Princess clearly hadn’t had a chance to shower after her grueling training for the day, but definitely noticing it. “Why do you still smell like mud-basted swan?”

“Those insufferable Wonderbolt trainees finished their exercises first and crowded into the showers when Celestia, Luna, Cadance and I planned to. Apparently they disrupted the water-heating enchantment while giving each other noogies or some such tripe, so I’m waiting for it to finish its automatic re-enchantment cycle. I’d have cast an illusion to cover my sweat-smell, but minor illusions don’t work properly within the PIM in a BoN illusion matrix.”

“Wow, you really don’t like those guys, huh?” Sunset chuckled.

“To be fair I don’t really know them yet, but that’ll change during the party.” Twilight paused, frowning. “I’m sorry I asked you to work on your vacation.”

“Are you kidding? I get to share a room with Celestia and Luna, and I’m cooking with the actual Pony of Shadows right now. This is the best summer break I’ve had in years!”

“Excuse me!?” Stygian slammed his mug onto the counter, glaring Sunset down. “Do not call me that. The Shadow that controlled me has been banished to Limbo and I will not suffer the thought of it at your whim.”

“See!? He’s somehow both a huge dork and a brooding, damaged teenage heart-throb.”

“I am physically thirty-seven years old and hail from a much older era.” Stygian’s anger seemed to dissolve in his confusion, Sunset tittering at him.

“She’s saying you have seemingly contradictory personal characteristics that would result in physically fit teenage stallions harassing you and mentally inept teenage mares pining for your romantic attention.”

“Oh. Why didn’t she just say so? These modern colloquialisms confuse me so.”

Sunset sighed, shaking her head. “Some of us know how to be smart and cool at the same time: that’s why.”

“Oooh.” Spike pointed at Stygian with a grin as he walked by. “You just got burned, dude.”

“Is this lack of pain an unintended side-effect of the illusion matrix?” He asked, checking his coat. “Where’s the damage?” Even Twilight couldn't resist giggling at him for that one. “Ugh. Nevermind. More modern nonsense, no doubt.”

Pinkie suddenly dropped down beside him and pulled him into a tight hug. “It’s okay, Styggie-wiggie! They’re only teasing you like this because they like you! It’s a friendship thing.”

Stygian’s face lit up with a massive blush as Pinkie snuggled her fluffy chest into his shoulder and otherwise enveloped him in silky fur and poofy hair. “As you say, Mistress of Laughter.”

“Heehee! Oh! Those muffins are done now okay-bye-I-gottagetbacktoworknowandfinish…” Pinkie’s jumbled words faded as she bounced away, Sunset pulling out the baker’s dozen of muffins while Twilight set the tea to steeping with the heated water and stole some coffee for Moondancer from Stygian’s carafe.

“What’s the matter, ‘Styggie-wiggie’?” Sunset asked with a playful smirk. “Never been that close to a cute mare before?”

“It’s as new to me as this oven.” He responded sincerely. “One thing that makes me thankful to live in this future: every mare I’ve met since my return has been a true beauty.” His soft smile as he gazed back at them seemed to indicate that Sunset and Twilight were included in his positive assessment.

“I told you he was a heart-throb.” That earned Sunset a slap from Twilight’s wing. “Ow! Take your damn muffins and get outta here!”

---

Somewhere deep in the castle, unbeknownst to the happy ponies either resting, celebrating, or cooking, a single pony crept through the darkness in search of something important. To find it would leave one devastated and the searcher elated, and it would certainly lead to a fight. No corner nor shadow was safe from the mare’s determined search, her hooves and wings brushing over surfaces in the hopes of hitching against a hidden compartment. She had sneaked into the personal quarters of her primary target to no avail, which was easy because they shared the same room, and had begun to search the surrounding rooms instead. One way or another, come Tartarus or Tarrasque, Rainbow Dash would find Applejack’s hidden stash of extra cider. “Sssstupid Starlight, throwin’ a magic fit like a big magical magic baby. Who’s she think she is? Tellin’ me I had too much? Feh! I’ll show ‘er how much more I can drink.” She wasn’t exactly a paragon of stealth, but nopony else was around so it didn’t really matter. “It’s all Berry Punch’s fault! She done talked shit to Glim-Glam about me, I know she did!”

“Whatcha lookin’ for, Dashie?”

“AJ’s cider stash.” She muttered without thinking. Then her brain caught up to the sudden and inexplicable appearance of another pony beside her. “Gah! Pinkie? Aren’t you supposed to be in the kitchen?”

“Aren’t you drunk enough to hallucinate?” Dash considered that for a minute, but then shook her head.

“Nah, you’re just being in two places at once again.”

“Yep! Heehee!” Rainbow Dash groaned. “So, want some help?” Rainbow Dash perked back up.

The pegasus became serious, lucid, and agreeable right away, speaking calmly and clearly. “Yes, I would greatly appreciate your help, Pinkie.”

---

“So you’re saying I should forgive him?” Capper was sharing a room with Rockhoof and Flash Magnus, all of the Pillars having taken adjacent guest rooms in the same wing and using the extra space to house guests Twilight trusted already. As such he’d been getting to know the Pillars, as well as Fluttershy and the rest of Rarity's friends who seemed drawn to their ancient counterparts from time to time. “I don’t know if I can. If it weren’t for you ponies my life would still be a mess, and he’s the one who made it that way. All he ever wanted to be was a thief and a cheat.”

“Chummer may have done terrible things, but clinging to spite will only let him hurt you more.” Mistmane spoke with experience and understanding, more than she could convey. One of her friends had become monstrous from jealousy, but Mistmane’s refusal to seek vengeance had redeemed Sable Spirit and created a better future for their people. “External forces cannot break you if you have inner peace. Be kind to yourself and let it go.”

Capper shook his head, sipping his tea. “I don’t even know if he’s alive or dead. I need to see him again, learn if he’s gotten any better or not.”

Fluttershy shook her head. “It’s not about him, Capper. It’s about you. You don’t have to reconnect with him, learn what else he’s done, or even think he’s a good person. You just have to let the anger go so you can have a better life now.”

“I’m a lot better at taking things than letting them go, but for you two I’ll try.”

“Always with the trying and never with the doing. In my day we did what was necessary or died failing.”

“Oh yeah?” Capper finished his tea and placed the cup down on the table, tapping his claws on the crystal and smirking at Mistmane. “Maybe I haven’t finished forgiving terrible people because all of you keep being better than everyone I ever knew and the contrast makes them look even worse.”

“Or…” Fluttershy began diplomatically. “Mistmane’s high standards for your behavior are a case of ‘granny-logic’, because ‘back in her day’ everypony was soooo much better than ‘these kids today’ and they all trudged through heavy snow on their bare hooves for miles to get to school each day.”

“There were entire years like that, actually. Whenever the Windigos would return during a war.” Mistmane narrowed her eyes at Fluttershy, seeming more concerned than affronted. “Did somepony spike your tea, dear? Your manner isn’t usually so acidic.”

Apparently Fluttershy had completely botched her attempt at a joke, so she went along with Mistmane’s incorrect assumption. “What? You really think..?” She slowly glanced down at her cup and scrutinized it, looking buzzed while entirely sober. “I thought it tasted funny.” She lied, barely resisting the guilty urge to glance across the hall at Applejack. She added a little tipsy-sounding laugh to seal the deception, but Capper knew that would be a step too far. Mistmane was obviously on the prowl for something stronger than cider and Fluttershy was faking it too well, so Capper acted quickly to cover for her by snatching the cup before Mistmane could.

“Well somecat would like to know what all the fuss is about.” He chugged the rest of the tea, his face scrunching up as he faked it having a strong, alcoholic sting. While Mistmane tried to pretend she wasn’t disappointed to lose the chance at liquor, Capper gave Fluttershy a swift wink.

He hadn’t expected her to pull him into a nuzzle with her wing while looking ashamed of herself, but he’d been around her long enough to not have unfamiliarity as an excuse; it just hadn’t really occurred to him. “Ah, to be young and hoard the good drinks all to yourself like selfish children.” Capper and Fluttershy flinched at that, but Mistmane was just smiling distantly. “Yes, I miss those days so.” Granny logic.

“Aren’t you only this old physically because of a demanding spell?” Fluttershy asked, slightly tilting her head. “Nopony would blame you for being young and selfish with your drinks, would they? Is sharing a cup of liquor with somepony else even an age thing?”

“With inner peace, none of that matters.” Mistmane was definitely enjoying confusing the two of them. It was a much more fun linguistic exercise than the bleak conversation they’d had prior.

Little did she know that Capper was confused by a few words in particular rather than the meaning of all of them together in sequence. He’d poked fun at it earlier, but the ponies hadn’t seemed to notice. “Okay, seriously, what’s with this ‘somepony’, ‘nopony’, ‘anypony’ stuff? Y’all know I’ve never met a species or culture that replaces words like that with versions specific to themselves.”

Before Fluttershy could answer with a mild shrug she was surprised to hear Mistmane speaking seriously about the subject. “It started as the reverse of what it seems like from the outside. ‘anyone’ would be a person, and there was a time when the disparate pony tribes despised one another, and some even treated those of another race as less than people. Slaves working unicorn fields under duress were still ponies, but they weren’t ‘anyone’. They didn’t matter, until the world began to change. Some nobles began to seek portions of ownership over the field slaves of their cities, and though they could not free them without suffering the wrath of their Queen, they did spend their own coin to build the largest mansions in the city with many rooms. There the slaves would stay, and when questioned as to why these unicorns would sleep under the same roof as these earth ponies by their peers, they would say that anypony was good enough for a warm bed. When the Queen of the Middle World unicorns was finally assassinated one night and succeeded by Princess Platinum, she gave a speech after accepting her new crown, and she promised that from that day forward everypony would be free.”

“Oh my.” Fluttershy had been captivated by the story, trembling slightly at the thoughts it brought. “That’s so sad. I never knew any of that. There aren’t many details in the version of the story I was told on Hearth’s Warming Eve as a filly.”

“The story of ponykind has long been one of wretched rulers, shadowy monsters, internal strife, slavery, and bloodshed. It is good to see you and your friends standing as a bulwark against such things these days, even if old animosities linger.”

“Well, I always knew Ponyville’s policies against magical construction and season management were because it had earth pony founders, but I never really thought too much about why it would matter so much to them.”

“It is a point of pride for them. Any community of earth ponies that involved itself with unicorns of the purest breeding,” She spat those words with contempt, “would find servitude and then slavery in its future, and after enough historical precedent for this many of them broke away from unicorns entirely. They still had to buy help from pegasi to combat the Windigos’ storms, but they had no need for spells.”

“And when you say ‘purest breeding’…” Capper made air-quotes with his claws and Mistmane nodded at him.

“Unicorns were notoriously obsessed with the ideals of nobility, and this included obsessing over their physique and lineage. In the Middle World they favored white coats and long, straight horns. In the East where I was born curved horns such as mine were favored. In truth these attitudes were already on the decline when the Pillars were formed by Stygian. Starswirl is much older, and he lived through and spoke to me of many events such as Queen Platinum’s crowning that occurred before I was born.”

“My people have a similar way of thinking even now. If a kitten is born into the royal family without pure black fur then they’re discarded to an orphanage.” Fluttershy gasped at that, covering her face with a wing. “Used to be a pretty great country anyway, what with our inventions and high standard of living. There was always extra food to steal for us street trash.” Capper leaned back into his chair with a sigh, staring up into the ceiling. “Then the Storm King blew it to Tartarus.” After a moment of silence he glanced at Fluttershy, smirking after he caught her expression. “I know that look. You’re wondering if I was one of those discarded kittens, aren’t ya?” She just nodded meekly in response. “Nah, those cats don’t have last names, and I’ve got me one of those. It’s Dapperpaws, by the way.”

“Oh, good.” She sighed in relief.

“Yeah, my parents just died instead.”

“I-I mean bad! Very very bad!” Capper and Mistmane failed to suppress their laughter.

Across the hall the double doors connecting to the entrance hall parted to permit a winded pegasus passage. She cantered in with a confident stride and matching smile in spite of her disheveled state, her pith helmet shielding her eyes from the magical light of the crystal ceiling. Her appearance was distinct and unmistakable, the outfit seen on the covers of many adventure books, and soon every pony in the room was looking right at her. “Sorry I’m late, everypony. Took me a little longer than I planned to wrap up my business with Ahuizotl.”

Applejack stumbled away from Rockhoof to throw her arm over the newcomer’s back instead. “Darin’ Damn Do! It’s good tah see ya, girl! The things this mare kin do with a rope, Ah tell you what.” Applejack’s accent certainly became thicker when she was buzzed, but she’s wasn’t so sloshed as to be indecipherable: the serious drinking could wait for tomorrow. “She’s almost as good with them thangs as Ah am! Hehe.”

“Well I don’t see why magical alicorn Princesses would ever need to tie somepony up without magic, but if they want me to teach them then I’m more than willing to. Now, where’s the cider?”

Applejack shoved her current mug into Daring’s chest, suppressing giggles. “Ah’m savin’ the rest of my supply fer the party tomorrow, but yeh kin ‘ave muh last mug, sugarcube.” Daring tried to write off how intimate the encounter was while taking the cider with her wing, ready to support Applejack’s weight with her hoofed limbs if she turned out to be more drunk than she appeared and passed out. “Anypony ever tell you ya got pretty eyes?”

“Occasionally at conventions when I’m ‘cosplaying’ as myself.” Daring awkwardly sipped at her cider, hyper-aware of the sliver of Applejack’s spit on the rim.

“No bucking way!” Several of the Wonderbolt trainees had walked right up to them, staring at Daring with some expressions of joyful surprise and others of disbelief and confusion. “Daring Do is a real pony!?”

“Oh yes.” Celestia, Luna, and Cadance weren’t far behind the stallions, the solar Princess speaking with her usual patience and calming tones. “She kept that secret from even Us for a long time, and We’ve helped her keep it from the masses as a personal favor to Twilight for over a year now.”

“Which of course means that if any of you speak of it to anypony outside the illusion matrix you shall be banished from Equestria for a decade with your ability to speak undone.” Luna’s words made Cadance laugh, but she and her sister just continued smiling down at the other ponies stoically. “Dost We make Ourselves clear!?” All the stallions nodded emphatically, hoping to be rid of Luna’s piercing gaze as soon as possible. “Good.” The lot of them had all left to grab dinner after their earlier showers, so the only reason they’d had to stand around in the great hall at the end of the day had been to work up the courage to approach the Princesses and strike up casual conversations with them. Their latest encounter had put those hopes to bed so they all finally shuffled off toward their rooms for a good night’s rest. Cadance shuffled off after a pair of them and struck up the sort of casual conversation they’d been hoping for, and they did their best to quell their newfound nervousness for the Empress’ sake.

Applejack watched them go, noting that only the married Princess was giving them any softness or affection, which was weird by virtue of the fact that only Cadance and Spitfire had been roughed up by them in an earlier training exercise. “Them colts ‘ave bin gittin’ real mixed signals here. They must be as confused as a plum in a peach basket.”

“That’s… I…” Daring glared down into her cider, looked over at Applejack, glanced up at the Princesses' guarded expressions as if seeking help, and finally settled her gaze on nothing in particular, staring into the distance. “What?”

“Farm ponies have their own dialect.” Celestia explained with a mischievous smirk. “Perhaps you will have learned it by the time these six months are up.”

“Well I suppose we will be spending a lot of time together.” Daring replied tentatively.

“Darn tootin’! Yer sharin’ a room with Dash ‘n’ me! Now come on, we got some snoozin’ tah do.”

Moondancer watched Daring Do closely while she and Applejack walked past, Rockhoof, Flash Magnus, and Grubber chattering away behind them on their way to their own rooms. She hadn’t wanted to just stand around in silence, but she wasn’t confident enough to approach the table nearby and insert herself into the conversation there, and Fizzlepop seemed perfectly content to stand and watch the other ponies without a word the moment the Princesses had left her side. As such, Moondancer sighed in relief when Twilight returned with the drinks and snacks for them, as well as the lion’s share of the trio’s social skills. “So, Daring Do is real.”

“Yes, Moondancer, she is.”

“As are the Pillars. Should I just mark every book here as non-fiction in advance?”

Twilight rolled her eyes, not dignifying that joke with so much as a chuckle. “Let’s just sit down and eat these muffins already. Grabbing this snack on our way to bed has taken a lot longer than I planned for.” Even though Twilight had gotten a muffin for Cadance as well she was actually glad that her sister-in-law had already moved on, because she was far too tired for more teasing that evening. As they took seats at the table, Twilight greeted the others seated there amicably and then asked, “What have you been talking about?”

“Ancient and recent atrocities like slavery and hostile takeovers.” Capper answered casually. “Which reminds me, is there any way for y’all to stop the slave trade in Klugetown?”

“Only if we want to go to war with the Coalition of the Wastes.” After they’d passed through the town and subsequently completed their quest, Twilight had done some investigating into the nature of Klugetown and its political relationship with Equestria. “They enslave, butcher, and dismember magical beings whether they be person or animal to use for specialized tasks or sell the collected body parts to dark alchemists, but direct attacks from other sources on Our entire nation or allies have kept Us from pursuing military action. For the sake of Equestria, Celestia signed a peace treaty with the Council of the Coalition some three hundred years ago, but she also instated a full trade embargo and implored them to reconsider their barbaric practices. You’ve seen how much better Our economy is and a trade agreement would do them a lot of good, so We’ve been waiting for them to reconsider Our terms.” Her expression grew sympathetic as she continued. “I’m sorry you had to live in that place for so long.”

“Now now, don’t be too sorry, Princess.” His voice shook and his claws dug into the edge of the table. “I almost sold you myself, afterall.”

Fluttershy extended a wing toward him protectively. “Oh Capper, we already forgave you for--”

“I’m sorry I…” He stumbled out of his chair, stepping back until Fluttershy couldn’t reach him. “I should head to bed. There’s a big party tomorrow, afterall.” He couldn’t endure their kindness any longer, for it twisted into shame when filtered through the memory of his past intentions.

Fizzlepop tilted her head as she watched him hastily abscond, replaying his reaction in her mind a few times. “Huh. He seems pretty emotional for someone with a body count.” She said, thinking back to burned yeti corpses after the retaking of Canterlot. “Although I guess Spike could claim half the credit for those casualties.”

“That was killing to save others; an entire nation, in fact. I know it stings a lot less than the guilt of killing for selfish reasons, even if one doesn’t go through with the latter.”

Fluttershy sighed, shaking her head sadly. “He was practically a slave himself for so long. He was just desperate to escape that. I hope he can forgive himself eventually.”

“He couldn’t forgive Chummer either. He has a righteous attitude.” Mistmane decided with a smile. “It will bring him much personal strife and it makes him dangerous, but such attitudes also lead to great heroism.”

“Ugh.” Moondancer slammed her then empty cup down on the table, clearly unhindered by how hot the coffee had been. “I’m too tired for this garbage.” She cut her muffin into bite-sized pieces with a swift spell and them stuffed each one into her maw in rapid succession, mumbling something that vaguely sounded like “Goodnight” through her mouthful while cantering toward her bed in the castle. Since she was sharing Twilight’s room, the alicorn felt compelled to follow her, carrying her own muffin along as she went.

“I suppose Rarity has been sleeping for awhile already?” Fizzlepop asked of Fluttershy, as they and Rarity were sharing a room.

“She does love her beauty sleep. We’ll just have to be quiet when we sneak in.”

“I suppose I should retire as well. I doubt the Mistress of Laughter would appreciate anypony being late to the party.”

---

“Hey RD! Check out who done finally showed up!” Rainbow seemed to be shuffling her hooves around under her bed before Applejack and Daring showed up, but neither of them thought much of it, Rainbow's pilfered prize remaining safe.

“Oh hey Daring, nice to see you! Yaaaaaawn! So tired I am. Mean I’m, tired is… uh… goodnight!” Yep, she was totally wasted. She threw herself down onto her bed and immediately started to fake snores, but her unsuspecting friends just shook their heads at her antics and quickly passed into the Dream Realm themselves. It was a wild and unpredictable place without Luna’s guidance, but also more private, and for the fifth night of many to come the great gathering descended into serene oblivion together.

Comments

[liger090]

I like this story there are little bits here and there that I think are just far enough out of place to not fit but they are few and far between. Can't wait for the next chapter.

[VShuffler42]

So much tease, so many humor!

This was brilliant! Something tells me that Cadance is going to find a way to make Twilight admit her feelings. Twilight x Fizzle pop FTW!!!

Daring Do appeared! Which reminds me, I want a lasso-ing competition between AJ and Daring.

And I have a feeling RD is going to get in big trouble soon. Let's wait and see!

Signing out, VShuffler42

[Flapjaw]

8938173

Is it the characterization, the action sequences, the extrapolated lore, or some combination that you feel is sometimes too much? Regardless I'm glad that you can enjoy most of the story. I can't hope for much more than that.

8938409

Considering they're only just finishing the first week, Cadance has plenty of time to metaphorically work her love magic. If she tried to literally use her love magic then Twilight would notice and there'd be Tartarus to pay. Of course, Moondancer might be trying to admit something similar to herself right now, but this won't be your typical love triangle. Things are bound to get a lot more complicated before the dust settles.

Daring Do has a formidable set of skills, and it would be hard for the other Princesses to argue against her inclusion, but the real reason she's here is because Twilight Sparkle, massive Daring Do dork, put together the list of trainers. It's the perfect excuse to spend several months with a friend she fantasizes about rarely gets to see.

Dash might be tackling a lot of responsibilities with admirable poise, but she is still a prankster, and harmlessly messing with her friends is potent stress-relief for her. Since she's under a lot of pressure, and was a bit drunk besides, she's going for a big prank on one of the ponies she knows can take that sort of thing. AJ could certainly press charges for something like this, but they're best friends and have borrowed things from each other without asking plenty of times before. There'll certainly be a spectacular confrontation, but it's all in good fun.

[Metemponychosis]

So, let me take a guess. Celestia is still lame.
Or this story going to surprise me?

[EverfreePony]

So, I’m finally catching up, after a few months. I hope to get to the new chapters sooner

Anyway, I really enjoyed the Chipped Hoof chapter, flowed really nicely. As for this chapter, it was not as great. It contained some interesting bits of lore, but the concept of loosely connected, episodic events filled with mood swings just didn’t work for me.