Its brief and too the point, rushing by so fast one could imagine they were in a car watching the scenery go by. That is how quick the pacing of this story is. I like the summery it made a very interesting premise. But the story has some flaws. We don't know how Jack got to Equestria he just seemed to be there. Rarity being twice as big as the usual giant pony that's fine I mean she could have been the same size as everyone else (excluding Jake of course) the story would still remain the same.

Awesome!

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Yeah, I'm was thinking about getting a team editors. Might even have them edit the first chapter to make it longer.

I'll make the second chapter far longer if I get around to making it. And explain far more things.

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What did you like about it?

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Maybe that Rarity is the size of Princess Celestia and that she called Jack dirty ape

Hehehe, well then... this'll be interesting.
Good start.

i don't know how to respawn to this

As always Bendy had me going, " hmm will things be really odd or out way out in left field " the jury is still in debate as it waits to hear more =)