It was Saturday morning and Celestia’s sun was just beginning to peak over the horizon as Twilight Sparkle opened the doors to her castle. A humid, chilly wind blew past her and the alicorn could see dark clouds being put in place by the pegasi far off into the distance. Thankfully, the weather team posted that the storm wouldn’t happen until nightfall due to the sheer size of the cloud. From what she read the cloud would spread from a few miles south of Ponyville all the way to Canterlot.
As the sun had yet to be covered, Twilight pulled out the letter she had received just a short while ago to double check it. The letter was a response from Princess Celestia that had been sent the previous night inquiring about studies being down on flightless pegasi. While the Princess’s quick response was surprising on this subject, it was still most welcome. Equally welcome was the answer that indeed there was a study going on right now in Cloudsdale! According to the letter, Dr. Scalpel was looking at pegasi whose flying abilities were either unnaturally weak or else nonexistent. While she did not know the specifics as of yet, she urged Twilight to see the doctor to find out more if she was interested.
Smiling, Twilight put the letter back into her saddlebags. This was just the thing she needed right now. Ever since last night, Scootaloo had been holed up in her room refusing to leave. Both she and Spike had brought her things such as food, books to help her with her assignment, and paper just to name a few things. All of it had been left at the door and, much to Twilight’s surprise, all of it had vanished from its spot in the hallway when she had brought Scootaloo’s breakfast this morning. While still not answering her door, Twilight believed that this was a step in the right direction. After all, Scootaloo could have remained stubborn about the whole thing and left the school work outside.
As Twilight opened her wings she wondered for a moment if she should swing by one of her friends to watch over Scootaloo. However, she shook her head at that as she took to the sky. She had already asked Spike and Owlicious to keep an eye on her. If anything should happen, Spike could just send her a letter and she would teleport back here in an instant.
-x-
Meanwhile, Scootaloo sat at the desk Twilight had given looking at a mostly blank piece of paper. At least two paragraphs had been written, but that wasn’t much of an accomplishment for the filly. She had written those exact same paragraphs over and over again, but very little after it. Behind her, scattered on the floor, were all of her previous failed attempts. She could only write a few more sentences before crumpling up the paper in frustration and tossing it behind her.
As she let out a sigh, Scootaloo lazily turned her attention to the open book next to her. The book had been opened to a black and white picture that dominated the page of a mare wearing the armor that sort of resembled the kind worn by the Captain of the Royal Guard except a bit more rugged. This was the pony that Spike had told her about: Captain Storm Crosswinds. According to the book, not only was she the first mare to become Captain but she was also the first pegasus to reach this position. The book detailed her entire life, from a filly living in the outskirts of Cloudsdale to her trying to get into the Guard (which was much harder for mares at the time) and ending with her acts that got her into the position of Captain.
Scootaloo had to admit that while Captain Storm was interesting, she wasn’t as exciting to write about as Rainbow Dash was. With Rainbow, Scootaloo would have been grinning ear to ear as she wrote down all of her idol’s facts that she knew from heart. She could put her whole heart and passion into it. But with this mare, Scootaloo was struggling to put any of that same drive and energy into it. Add to the fact that it was taking so long to write made it all the more unbearable to the filly. If only she were allowed to write it on Rainbow Dash, she would have been done by now and on with her life. The only reason she was doing this was because she felt guilty!
Scootaloo dropped her chin to the table as her hooves rested on either side of her head. As her eyes looked at the written words without really seeing them, the incident that happened yesterday played in her head. A part of her didn’t understand why she was feeling this way. She had just done what she always did before Twilight appeared and tried to force her to do something she didn’t want to do. Then Twilight told her that would be spending less time with her friends, was dragged back to the castle, and then had her scooter taken away! But perhaps the reason she felt like this was because of everything Twilight had given her. Maybe because it looked like she was acting like a brat or something.
Taking her hooves off her head and pushing herself away from the desk, Scootaloo shook her head. Was it so unreasonable to keep others from dictating how you live your life? It’s not like it would affect Twilight. The filly then turned around only to be greeted by the sight of all her failed attempts to write this stupid paper. All this was only further proof that she wasn’t Twilight’s little sister. She wasn’t some egghead and she sure wasn’t going to let Twilight turn her into one.
Wincing from another bite of guilt, Scootaloo tried to distract herself by looking out the window. There, she could see that weather was perfect for going outside and having fun. Which is what she should be doing right now! Looking farther into the distance she could see the clouds being brought together for a storm later on. And, flying through the air, was Twilight.
Her eyes widened as she realized what all this meant. A storm would be coming either tonight or tomorrow depending on when the pegasi finished moving the clouds. That would mean she would be stuck indoors with nothing to do until it was over. Wouldn’t it make more sense to do boring homework then instead of when the weather looked nice? That did make a lot of sense. Maybe what she needed was a break from all this dumb school work. Get some fresh air, ride on her scooter for a couple of hours, and hang out with her friends until the storm came! Then come back when the rain starts. By then she should be cleared of all the stupid junk in her head and it’ll be easier to write her paper. That or she’ll be too tired to do it and she’ll just jump into bed. Either one seemed fine to her.
Best part was Twilight wasn’t here to tell her no or stop her with her magic! Scootaloo knew there could be any number of reasons why Twilight was leaving: Friendship mission from the map, princess duties, going to see her friends, or looking for some dumb rare book. With most of those situations, Scootaloo knew that Twilight would be gone for awhile. Meaning the odds were in her favor of getting back to the castle before the princess got back. Plus since Twilight wasn’t here then there was a good chance she’d be able to get her scooter back.
Now grinning from ear to ear, Scootaloo raced to the door. As she reached for the doorknob she paused for a moment as a thought appeared in her head. Spike! She hadn’t seen him on Twilight’s back which meant he was most likely still in the castle. If he caught her trying to leave then he’d send a letter to Twilight which would be very uncool. Taking a breath, Scootaloo knew she had to be very careful not to be seen in order to get as much of her time as possible.
When the door opened, she slipped out into the hallway with perked ears. Scootaloo moved slowly despite her pegasus instincts screaming at her to move as fast as she could. Past experiences with Ms. Foster had taught the filly that hoofsteps become louder when you race and that the eye might catch quick/sudden movements. When she reached every door, she made a point to stop in order to listen for sounds coming from inside. It was because of this that, when she passed by the bathroom, she learned that was where Spike was.
“Oh yeah,” she heard Spike say loudly. “What do you think of these cannons Ember? Why yes, I have been lifting weights. You know, just keeping in shape. No big deal really.” As Scootaloo held her breath to keep herself from giggling like a mad pony, Spike paused. “Oh Rarity! Are you here to check out my bulging muscles and killer abs?”
With tears threatening to leak out, Scootaloo continued to move out before her laughter exploded. With each step her laughter died down a bit while she kept looking over her shoulder to see if Spike had left the bathroom. Even after she turned the corner, she continued to look behind her from time to time just to be on the safe side as well as keeping an ear out for any noise he could make.
Finally, Scootaloo made it to the main stairway. Below the entrance way looked deserted. But then again, Twilight didn’t have any guards or staff on hoof. Just Spike and Owlicious. So, feeling a bit calmer, Scootaloo made her way down the stairs a bit quicker but still keeping an eye out for the owl. The last thing she wanted was him hooting her out.
Five minutes after her hooves touched the crystal floor, Scootaloo was racing out of the castle as fast as her wings could take her. The closet door had, obviously, not been locked and if Twilight had placed any spell locking the door it had clearly faded. Getting her scooter out had been a breeze!
Now here was she heading towards town on this flat straight road. With no twists, turns, hills, or ponies to get in her way Scootaloo was able to go as fast as she wanted. In fact, she could actually see how fast she could really go. Maybe do her own version of a Sonic Rainboom with her scooter! Grinning at the idea, Scootaloo began to flap her wings faster than she ever had in her life. Bit by bit, the world around her began to blur slightly as her speed began to pick up. She could feel the wind pushing against her and, for a moment, she felt her rear hooves slide back a bit.
Startling to feel a bit nervous, Scootaloo began to wonder if she should slow down a bit. The town was getting closer much faster than she had assumed and the scooter was beginning to shake. But she gritted her teeth and shook her head. She knew that was quitter talk! Rainbow Dash wouldn’t pass up a chance to push herself! Her real big sister was fearless and that’s what she had to be like. She could-
What happened next happened faster than the filly could process. One moment she was holding onto the handle of her scooter and the next she found herself flying headfirst down the road in the direction of an open cart.
-x-
“Thank you for taking the time to see me Doctor,” said Twilight as she sat in the office of Dr. Scalpel, the two separated by a desk made of clouds. All around them were various degrees and awards the doctor had received as well as newspaper clippings that involved him in some way. As for the doctor, he was looking down at Scootaloo’s medical file which Twilight had brought with her with great interest.
“Not a problem, not a problem,” he said, his voice sounding slightly distracted. “You are a princess.” He then looked up. “Has Scootaloo ever been able to perform any degree of flight over a prolonged amount of time? Like, for example, when she was a foal?”
“I’m, ah, not sure,” replied Twilight.
Dr. Scalpel nodded before returning his attention back to the file, one of his hooves tracing something Twilight couldn’t see. “That’s…unfortunate,” he muttered. “Has she been able to walk on clouds with no difficulties? Without a spell helping her out?”
“She has,” said Twilight as she remembered hearing about the time Scootaloo visited Rainbow’s parents.
“Well that’s good at least,” mumbled the doctor without looking up at Twilight. Leaning forwards a bit, Twilight could see that the doctor was looking at old x-rays of Scootaloo’s wings. “Yes, her wings should have been double this size here. I can only imagine what they're like now. And…oh, that’s interesting.”
“What?” asked Twilight as she fought to keep herself from standing up.
The doctor didn’t answer right away, instead proceeding to close the folder containing Scootaloo’s file before looking up at the princess. “Princess Twilight, I believe I know what is wrong with your little sister,” he began after taking a breath. “Now, I’ll need her to come in for an examination to be sure of this, but the signs are pointing to smaller magical pathways in her wings. Since she is able to walk on clouds without the assistance of unicorn magic, it sounds like she has the normal amount of pegasi magic and that it is flowing into her hooves properly. But that doesn’t look like that’s the case for her wings. Judging by their size, I’d wager a guess that she is receiving a tiny fraction of what they should be getting.”
Twilight gave the doctor a nod to show that she was following along. In fact, she had read something similar about unicorns several years ago when she was still living in Canterlot. It was a study on why some unicorns have weaker magic as well as smaller horns. Before, nopony had given it much thought and chalking it up to not needing that much magic for their special talent or that they had no real talent with magic. But the article she read stated that researchers believed that the cause of this was actually the result of having poor magical pathways in the horn. This, they believe, causes poor magical buildup when casting a spell and poor horn growth.
When Twilight voiced this, the doctor nodded. “Since that article came out, several of us pegasi doctors have wondered if this might also apply to those in our tribe,” he said. “From what I’ve heard, their research has been heavily stalled due to a lack of willing participants. Not hard to image since the doctors would have to cut into their horns.” Twilight couldn’t help but wince at this while a hoof traveled up to touch her horn. Cutting into a unicorn’s horn normally resulted in severe and permanent damage to that pony’s magic.
“As for us,” continued Dr. Scalpel. “I am pleased to say that we have made great strides towards understanding this condition. Pegasi wings are much easier to operate on and heal in this regard. While we have had our fair share of failures trying to fix this defect, this new treatment we are attempting shows a great deal of promise. We plan to first operate on the wings of pegasi who are participating to correct the pathways with the help of skilled unicorn doctors. Once that is done, they will be given several injections of a potion that will increase the flow of magic into their wings as well as stabilize these pathways. The zebras who have offered their skills to help us make this potion are some of the best in their fields.”
“Sounds like a real team effort,” said Twilight with an approving nod causing the doctor to beam at her. “So, I take it Scootaloo qualifies to take part in this?”
The doctor looked back to the file in front of him. “As I said, I’d like to personally examine her and run some more tests. After that I can give you more of a definitive answer.” Dr. Scalpel then looked up at Twilight. “Before we proceed, however, I believe I should first inform you of the risks. While I am confident in the skills of myself and the other ponies working with me, this procedure is still very experimental. There is no guarantee that this will work. If it doesn’t, best case scenario will be that she remains unchanged and can take part in the next one. Worst case…she may lose the ability to move her wings permanently.”
“Scootaloo might...” breathed Twilight as her eyes widened before quickly looking away as she could not finish that sentence. She wanted to help Scootaloo to fly, to really fly like any other pegasus. But…was the risk worth it? If this failed, then Scootaloo wouldn’t even be able to ride her scooter like she used to.
A moment later, Twilight turned her head to face the doctor while still keeping her head low. “I’ll need to talk this over with Scootaloo.”
“Of course, of course,” replied Dr. Scalpel as he took out a planner book. “Princess, I’ll pencil her in for an appointment two weeks from today at two P.M. for her examination. I’ll give you until then to talk your sister and reach a decision. How does that sound?”
Twilight brought a hoof to her chin as she considered the doctors offer before nodding. As the doctor began to write in his planner, a scroll appeared in front of Twilight before falling to the ground.
-x-
Twilight shot towards Ponyville General Hospital as fast as her wings could take her. Spike’s letter to her looked like it had been written in a panic, with ink splotches all over with several words crossed out. All she could make out was that Scootaloo had been taken to the emergency room. And that was all that was needed for Twilight to wish she still had the magical power of all four princesses so she could just teleport there.
Her wings began to hurt, almost to the point where tears threatened to appear. Yet she didn’t dare to slow down with only a momentary thought appearing in her head wishing that she had practiced flying with Rainbow Dash a bit more. All sorts of horrible thoughts ran through the mare’s head as the building came into view. Was her little sister ill? Had Scootaloo’s appendix burst? Had she cut herself somehow? Did she try some stunt in her room and hurt herself? Had a former villain from the past broken into her castle and attacked recklessly, injuring Scootaloo in the process? She could almost see Tirek returning, leveling the castle in a blast which Scootaloo was caught in.
Trying her best to keep calm, and utterly failing, Twilight made a failed landing in front of the hospital entrance that resulted in her rolling into the lobby. The princess could hear several ponies gasp when she stopped, allowing them to recognize who she was followed by them asking if she was alright. As the ponies in the lobby moved to help her, Twilight managed to stand on her shaky hooves. Breathing hard, she looked over to the receptionist’s desk where Nurse Red Heart still sat with her mouth hanging open. Not thinking about anything else, Twilight leapt over to her.
“Where is Scootaloo?” asked Twilight in a panic. She could hear herself breathing heavily and could feel the sweat on her fur making it slightly damp. Both she paid little mind to as she looked at the stunned nurse. “Is she ok?”
“Princess Twilight,” came a male voice behind her. “Please calm down.”
“Don’t tell me to-” began Twilight loudly as she turned to look at who was talking to her. However, she cut herself off when she saw who it was. It was Dr. Stable, looking at her in understanding as he held up a hoof. Still panting, Twilight took a step back from him.
“Princess, Scootaloo is fine,” said the doctor in a calming tone. “But you need to relax. You’re scaring the other patients.”
Giving herself a moment to catch her breath, Twilight Sparkle took in the scene around her. Several other ponies were in the lobby, including a young colt who was clinging to his mother as they both stared at the princess. Also in the room was an elderly stallion who looked older than Granny Smith appearing nervous while a few seats next to him a pale looking mare coughed into her hoof while she too stared at the alicorn.
“I…I’m so sorry,” began Twilight as her ears flattened against her skull. “It’s just I heard that Scootaloo…” Her voice just trailed off from there from both shame for how she had panicked as well as embarrassment.
“I understand,” said Dr. Stable he walked down one of the hallways connected to the lobby and motioning Twilight to follow him. “This happens all the time. Perfectly natural to panic when somepony you know is brought in here.”
“Can you please tell me what happened?” asked Twilight quietly as she walked next to him. “I only know she’s here because Spike sent me a letter, but I have no idea what’s happening!”
“There was an accident,” replied the doctor calmly, in a tone meant to reassure. However, Twilight’s ears perked at the word accident as her heart began to face faster. “From what I was told when she was brought in, something happened while she was riding her scooter. The ponies each had a different story ranging from hitting a pothole, the scooter couldn’t handle the stress of going at the speed she was going, to a sudden Diamond Dog attack. All end the same with her flying head first into a cart.”
As they walked, Twilight bit her lower lip as she felt her heart pounding in her chest. How could Scootaloo be alright after something like that? Her well informed mind, something she had always prided herself with, choose that moment to betray her. As clearly as if it were written on a sheet of paper in front of her, Twilight could see the growing list of things that could be wrong with Scootaloo.
“Thankfully, the helmet she was wearing took the blunt of the blow,” continued Dr. Stable as he gestured to a stairwell. Wordlessly, Twilight followed him upwards. “When she arrived she was bleeding from a head wound so after I personally bandaged her up I made sure she got an x-ray. Thankfully there were no fractures in her skull. We also checked for signs of internal bleeding and found none. We think the worst she’ll suffer is a concussion.”
As the two reached the second floor, Twilight allowed herself a moment to breathe a sigh of relief. “Thank Celestia,” she said. Now the two of them were trotting down a hallway with many open doorways. As they moved, Twilight’s eyes glanced in one of them to see that it was a patient’s room.
“With all that said, I’d like your permission to keep her here overnight,” continued Dr. Stable. “Just to keep an eye on her in case…something…” Dr. Stable’s words began to trail off as he stopped and looked into an open room. Twilight could see his eyes narrowing before turning his entire body towards it. “You there! What are you doing in here? This is a filly’s room! Where is the nurse?”
Twilight moved so that she too could look inside. Her eyes focused on the pony in the bed first and found it to be Scootaloo. The filly was lying on the bed, frowning with her forelegs crossed in front of her with white bandages wrapped around her forehead. All things considered, she looked like she was more annoyed than in any real pain. For a moment, Twilight felt her body relax a bit more upon seeing that she was alright.
That moment, sadly, ended when she noticed the only other pony in the room. It was an earth pony stallion standing a good head taller than Big Mac. He wore a black suit and tie, which covered up most of his front half only to stop before reaching his cutie mark: a cobra. The suit couldn’t hide the fact that he was an extremely muscular stallion that would put Bulk Biceps to shame. Even his hind legs looked like the muscles had muscles! He had neither a mane nor tail and his eyes were covered by thick sunglasses that reflected the images of those he looked at.
The stallion, who had been facing Scootaloo, turned to look at Dr. Stable before noticing Twilight. “Princess Twilight Sparkle,” said the stallion in a voice as deep voice that carried with it power and authority. As the stallion walked towards the door, he reached into his suit and pulled out his ID which he then showed to the pair. Twilight’s eyes widened upon seeing the Royal Crest which was held by all government employees. “I am Mr. Bubbles of Foal Services. Could we speak in private?”
Twilight nodded as she back away from the door. As Dr. Stable walked into the room, glaring at Mr. Bubbles as he did, the earth pony stallion made his way to the doorway that seemed two sizes too small for his stature. Yet Twilight watched in amazement as he maneuvered his body through the doorway with such skill that could only come from doing this for many, many years. His suit didn’t even catch a single wrinkle. Now in the hall, Mr. Bubbles walked towards the stairwell with Twilight following behind him.
As she walked, Twilight’s mind cursed this latest problem. She had been told by Ms. Foster that somepony from Foal Services would show up as part of the process to be granted custody of Scootaloo. It should have been an inspection of her castle and to find out how they were doing. Then, if there were no problems, that would have been the end of it besides a bit more paperwork. If there was a problem it would be up to the agent to decide how things would proceed.
Eventually, the two stopped in front of the stairwell and Twilight couldn’t help but blurt out, “I know this looks bad.”
Even with those sunglasses, Twilight could tell he was glaring at her in a way that made her feel small. Or that she was taking a test she was unprepared for. “On that we can agree,” he said firmly. He then reached into his suit jacket and pulled out a notepad as well as a pen. It wasn’t until the pen was in his mouth, poised to write, that he spoke again. “Now, where were you when this happened?”
“I was in Cloudsdale, speaking to a doctor to help Scootaloo fly,” said Twilight, her eyes watching the pen as it made note of what she said. “I was with Dr. Scalpel. You can check with him if you wish.”
“I might do that,” replied Mr. Bubbles in a clear tone. “Was there anypony watching over Scootaloo when you left?”
“I-I left Spike in charge,” stammered Twilight.
“Spike,” repeated Mr. Bubbles as he looked up from his notepad. “As in Spike the Hero of the Crystal Empire? The baby dragon?” When Twilight nodded, Mr. Bubbles wrote on the notepad some more before putting it back in his inner suit pocket. When it was tucked away he looked at her some more as if to grade her.
Finally, he spoke. “I’d like to have a look around your home,” he said in a calm and even tone. Twilight, whose throat had gone dry, nodded. As she gestured towards the stairs, the two of them noticed Apple Bloom, Spike, and Sweetie Belle standing on the landing below them with their eyes glued on the pair. Twilight began to sweat before giving the three a nervous smile before she and Mr. Bubbles walked down the stairs.
As the walked, Twilight could feel her heart pounding hard while Scootaloo’s friends watched her silently. She could tell that their eyes were fixed on the suited stallion, however. It was only when they passed did they move, galloping up the stairs in order to seek out their friend. Spike, however, had not moved. He had kept his eyes on her the entire time and, when she passed, hesitated for only a moment before turning to follow her walking only a few feet in her wake with his head lowered.
-x-
Meanwhile, Scootaloo sat in her bed and was bored out of her mind. Ever since she woke up at the hospital she had to hear doctors asking her over and over again how she was feeling. And over and over again she had to tell them that, besides being a little light headed and her head feeling itchy, she was fine. But instead of writing it down they kept repeating the same questions as she was taken to test after test. Then, instead of letting her out so she could enjoy whatever good weather was left, they told her she had to stay in the hospital for the night. Honestly, she didn’t know what was worse: sitting here and doing nothing for hours or being at Twilight’s and doing homework.
As thunder rumbled in the distance, Scootaloo felt herself cringe. But it was not the growing storm outside that caused this, instead it was the one inside of her. The guilt she had been feeling earlier was back at full force, made worse by how she had just thought about Twilight. It felt…unfair for some reason and she didn’t like thinking that way about a pony who was her friend. Then there was big stallion with the stupid name from Foal Services who just showed up and began asking her all sorts of questions. When he saw Twilight he wanted to talk to her in private which, as the young filly knew, was the universal sign that somepony was in trouble. And Scootaloo had a feeling that pony was Twilight.
The filly felt her ears flattening against her head. Twilight’s words about consequences came back to haunt her. If she had just done the report like Miss Cheerilee and Twilight had asked her to, she might have been able to have a little bit of fun. Her scooter would also still be in one piece! And Twilight probably wouldn’t be mad at her right now. If she had gotten mad at her talking back like that, then Twilight’s mane must be bursting into flames right now. Maybe even regretting that she let Scootaloo move in with her!
As the seconds ticked by, Scootaloo began to wonder if her plan was really all that good. All that had happened ever since she decided to do this was getting ponies either worried about her or mad at her. Perhaps she should just do her schoolwork until Twilight calmed down so she could talk to both her and Rainbow Dash about it. Maybe just drop it here and now so she could move on with her-
“No!” stated Scootaloo firmly as she shook her head. “That’s loser talk! Maybe what I should be doing is speeding up my-”
“Scootaloo!” came a duo of voices that pegasus would recognize anywhere. As she looked over at the door her two best friends came charging in and jumping onto the bed. At first, Scootaloo perked up at the sight of then believing that she could escape the emotions turning inside her. However, one look at their faces told her that they were very, very worried.
“What’s goin’ on?” asked Apple Bloom as she glanced from Scootaloo to the door and then back to Scootaloo. “We saw this big fella talkin’ ta Twilight! Ya should of seen her, like she was on trail or somethin’.”
“Pfft,” went Scootaloo as she waved a hoof at them. “Relax Bloom. It was just some guy from Foal Services who’s just checking up on things. Not like he can really do anything. Twilight’s a princess. She can do whatever she wants.” Yet, while she said this, she remembered her previous thoughts about Twilight regretting letting her stay with her. And if what her friends were saying was true then Scootaloo knew she would have to put her plan in motion sooner. Which was probably for the better.
“B-But,” stammered Sweetie, looking close to tears.
“Look, whatever you heard or saw doesn’t really matter,” said Scootaloo confidently.
“Ah, it kinda does,” said Apple Bloom as her face shifted from worried to annoyed. The farm filly then gave Scootaloo an examining look, as if there was something wrong with the pegasus that Apple Bloom thought she could almost see. “You’ve been acting mighty weird lately. Is something going on that ya need ta tell us?”
For a moment, Scootaloo was silent as she looked at her two best friends as she wondered if she should confide in them her plan. If she told them, they might take it badly and- NO! They were her best friends and best friends always have each other’s back! They would understand how much this meant to her and support her! If she couldn’t trust them, there was nopony she could trust.
“Ok,” said Scootaloo with a nod. “But first, you have to Pinkie Promise not to tell anypony what I’m about to tell you.” Her friends didn’t do the motions at first but instead looked at each other curiously. Scootaloo could tell they were silently debating whether or not they should do this. But after the longest minute in Scootaloo’s life, they looked at her before making the promise. When they had finished, Scootaloo grinned before proudly announcing, “I’m dropping out of school!”
“WHAT?!” shouted her friends together. Scootaloo grinned see that they were no doubt impressed by the awesomeness of her plan.
“Bu-But why?” asked Sweetie Belle.
Scootaloo let out a sigh as she turned her head to look at her wings. “Because I want to be more like Rainbow Dash. And at the flag carrying ceremony, I had to face the facts that I’ll never be able to fly no matter what. But dropping out of school is something that I can do, just like how Rainbow Dash dropped out of Flight Camp!” Scootaloo now grinned at them. “I had decided to do it the summer after I got my cutie mark. Thought it would be best for everypony plus the weather would be nice as I traveled across Equestria. Just doing my special talent and being awesome. But with all this stuff going on, I think it would be best if I left sooner so-”
At that moment, Scootaloo found herself tackled by Sweetie Belle who was now openly crying. “You were planning on leaving? H-How could you?”
Scootaloo stared up in shock at Sweetie for this sudden act. However, her eyes soon narrowed while a growl escaped her throat. “Hey, it’s my life and this is the only thing I can do to be more like Rainbow Da-”
“Rainbow Dash!” screamed Sweetie who sounded almost hysterical, pushing down harder on Scootaloo. “Rainbow Dash! It’s always Rainbow Dash with you. Scootaloo, they’re going to find you and then really send you to an orphanage in Canterlot! Don’t you care about anypony else? Don’t you care about us or your sister Twilight?”
“Twilight isn’t my sister!” Scootaloo all but shouted as she tried to get up. “Rainbow is!”
“NO SHE ISN’T!” screamed Sweetie as she refused to let Scootaloo up. “Twilight is your real sister. She wants to be there for you. But you don’t want her to be!”
“What’s going on in here?” came a loud, worried voice. Scootaloo didn’t need to look to see that it was one of the nurses. Instead she kept her eyes glued on the still crying Sweetie Belle.
“Let’s go,” said Apple Bloom suddenly as she placed a hoof on Sweetie’s shoulder. Scootaloo watched as Sweetie shook her head causing Apple Bloom to tug on her a bit. Slowly the apple filly managed to get her friend to follow her off the bed, comforting her the entire way. As they walked towards the door, Apple Bloom glanced over at Scootaloo that made her feelings as clear as if she had declared them at their clubhouse. She wasn’t happy. She didn’t agree with what Scootaloo wanted to do with her life.
As the nurse watched them leave with a confused look on her face, Scootaloo lowered her head. “You were supposed to understand,” she muttered to herself as the rain began to fall outside.
-x-
Hours later found Twilight finishing up the tour of her castle. Mr. Bubbles had wished to see each and every room she had, from the basement to the tallest tower. Each room was examined with meticulous care, checking to see if everything looked like it was being cleaned regularly and that it was safe. On this front, the only time he seemed to have any pause was when he saw Scootaloo’s room which was littered with paper balls. As Twilight explained that she had told Scootaloo to focus on her homework, Bubbles had examined several of the crumpled papers before silently moving on.
Naturally, there were other things that Mr. Bubbles inspected. When they were in the kitchen, the stallion wordlessly checked the entire food pantry to make sure there was enough to eat. He made sure there were plenty of oats, flowers, carrots, apples, and a variety of other foods that a growing filly would need. Thankfully, Twilight had all of these in abundance with the addition of gems for Spike, which caused Mr. Bubbles to raise an eyebrow at. Also during his tour, the stallion checked Twilight’s lab with great care to ensure that all the chemicals that were unsafe were clearly labeled and locked away. With this part, Twilight felt more at ease since she made a habit of making sure that her lab was neat and tidy. Well, except for a few of the blast marks on the ceiling that she was having trouble removing from the magical crystal. That also earned a raised eyebrow from Mr. Bubbles.
Finally, after the map room was inspected, Mr. Bubbles turned to look at Twilight. “Well it looks like your home is in order,” he said as he looked over his notepad in his hoof. “None of the food is moldy or past its expiration date and it meets the requirements needed for a healthy growing filly. Cleanliness is better than most homes I visit. For the most part your lab is fine, but I would recommend getting a lock for the door if you can for added safety”
“Well, that’s good,” said Twilight in a hopeful tone.
Mr. Bubbles, however, his frown deepened as he flipped a page in his notepad. “Princess Twilight, before I arrived I spoke to a former coworker of mine about you,” he said at last breaking the silence between them. “Since Scootaloo moved in with you, there was a rather large public scene and then the events of today.”
“I,” Twilight managed to say, not liking at all where this was going. “That is to say we just moved in together. We’re…just getting used to the change.”
The stallion sighed sadly as he closed his notepad and returned it to his suit coat. “Princess, it is my professional opinion that Scootaloo might be better off in the care somepony else,” said Mr. Bubbles.
“But you can’t!” Twilight almost shouted as she took a step forwards. “I just found out she’s my sister! I know I haven’t made all the right choices, but I am trying my best! You have to believe me!”
As Twilight stood there panting, the stallion before her lowered his head. “That’s what makes this job so hard sometimes,” said Mr. Bubbles as he took off his shades to reveal his blue eyes. As he lowered the hoof holding his glasses his eyes remained focused on them. As he spoke, his voice became softer by a tad. “You see somepony who wants to look after a younger sibling after their parents pass, wanting to keep the family together. Only later to discover that the older pony is unprepared. Then you see another who wishes to take in another and genuinely puts her all into it, but realizes it’s too much for her. Then I come in…to tear them apart. It’s never easy.”
Mr. Bubbles then put his glasses back on before speaking again. “Before you arrived, I had a chat with Scootaloo. She told me about the fight you two had last night and that you told her she won’t get her scooter back until she finished her homework. Also, if what you told me about your visit to this Dr. Scalpel is true, you do have Scootaloo’s best interests at heart. You are able to provide her with a home that most fillies and colts can only dream of. So…I am inclined to believe that you are trying. But even with that said, I still feel like Scootaloo belongs somewhere else.”
Twilight felt her body tremble as he said that. “B-But y-you just said…” stammered Twilight.
“As I said, I spoke to my former coworker about you,” said Mr. Bubbles. “But not just about the events of these last few days. You have a great deal of magical power, but there have been times when you have not executed the best judgment with your magic. Altering parasprites which resulted in half of the town being eaten as well as the ‘Want-it, Need-it’ incident. Then there are ponies like this Trixie character, who obtained a cursed magical object and was bent on challenging you before she tossed you out of town. Tirek, who chased you across Equestria and destroyed your former home. Let’s not forget the fact that you can be summoned either by Princess Celestia or by your magical map at a moment’s notice without having any idea when you’ll be back. With all this in mind, can you honestly say that you can give that filly the attention and help that she needs while keeping her safe?”
Twilight stood there with a dumbfounded look on her face. While she felt that her magical mistakes were fewer and less frequent, she could understand where Mr. Bubbles was coming from. While she felt she could argue that she had gotten better with her magic usage, as well as point out nopony was hurt in either incident, she found it a lot harder to argue with his other two points. She had no control over either force. If Tirek ever escaped and regained his power, Twilight knew he would make a beeline for her. Or what if Chrysalis should try to ponynap her again? Would Scootaloo get wrapped up in their attacks?
Then there were her missions. If the map called on her, she had to go and the same went for Princess Celestia. Rarity and Applejack had less of a problem with this because they had family who could take care of their little sisters. But as of right now, Twilight didn’t know if either of her parents would accept Scootaloo. Rainbow was out of the question because Scootaloo couldn’t get to her house under her own power right now. Not to mention that Rainbow also had her work with the Wonderbolts right now. Off the top of her head, she could ask the Apples if Scootaloo could stay with them or maybe ask her brother…
Mr. Bubbles let out a sigh once again. “Princess, there is no doubt in my mind that Equestria owes you a great deal of thanks for everything you have done. But, with all of these troubles circling around you, there is a greater chance that Scootaloo will be put in harm’s way. For her sake, I recommend that she should be sent to the Canterlot Orphanage. She’ll be well taken care of there until another member of your family comes and we can do another investigation.”
Twilight tried her best to keep the tears at bay, but as she sat there the more she thought about just how badly she had messed up. Because of her, the CMC would be torn apart. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle might even blame her for not doing a better job as a big sister! They’ll never want to come over to her castle for Twilight Time ever again. And then there was Rainbow Dash. When she came back, Twilight was certain that she would be blaming her for all of this. That she just sat back and let them take away her honorary sister. Then the group would take sides with some siding with Rainbow and others defending Twilight. The yelling would start, feelings would be hurt, their friendship would be ruined forever, the Cutie Map would shatter, her home would fall apart, Princess Celestia would banish her from Equestria, the world would-
Twilight then shook her head to banish these thought before she spiraled out of control. “Is there anything I can do to change your mind?” asked Twilight quietly. “Please, just give me a chance. It’s only been two days.”
For the longest time, Twilight looked up into the stallion’s face. She could see her own fearful expression looking back at her from the lens while his expression remained unchanged. With each deafening moment of silence she could feel her heart pounding harder and harder in her chest. The longer time passed, the more likely it felt like he would say no.
Finally he gave a short nod. “Very well,” he said, causing Twilight and Spike to let out a sigh of relief. “When I return to my office in Canterlot, I’ll check my calendar and send you a letter when the next inspection will be.” His brows narrowed. “I expect that no further incident like the one that happened today will happen again. The next time I arrive, I want assurance that there is a plan in place for when you leave town or a villain attack. I’ll also have somepony keeping an eye on things in Ponyville, just to be on the safe side.”
“I understand,” mumbled Twilight as her head sagged and her wings drooped. The stallion said his goodbyes and, as he left, Twilight felt herself sink to the floor.
“Twilight?” came Spike’s voice followed by his clawed hand touching her side. The Princess of Friendship raised her head slightly so she was able to look out from her mane a bit. While slightly obscure by her mane, she could see that Spike looked like the world was about to end. “I’m sorry.”
Twilight raised a hoof to wipe away the tears in her eyes. “Don’t be,” she said. “You have nothing to be sorry about. This is all my fault.”
Spike shook his head as he held onto Twilight more. “No, it’s mine,” he said. “I was supposed to be watching her. If I had been doing my job as your number one assistant, then she would never have gotten hurt.”
“I never should have put you in that position,” Twilight said after shaking her head. “The blame is all on me.”
“Well, at least we still have a chance,” said Spike as he let her go and speaking a tone that was trying to get her to look on the bright side. “So let's swing down to the hospital and tell Scootaloo the good news that everything is alright!”
Twilight, however, shook her head as the words of Mr. Bubbles still ran through her head. “I...need to think about some things Spike,” she said as she walked out of the room.
“About what?” asked the dragon.
Twilight didn’t answer.
I see what you did.
Nice Lilo& Stitch reference, I really tope that they little featherduster doesn't fuck yo, maybe a talk with her "sister" ????
Please release a new chapter please? I am so angry at Scootaloo right now! I don't like these feelings.
Ah, RIP. I don't think doing that is a good idea though. It's a nice way for Foal Services to get wrecked by the media if they even dared to. Taking a princess's sister away would paint them in a very bad light.
Scootaloo, you're being thick. You're not seeing all the angles here.
Hopefully Bubbles will tell Scootaloo where Twilight was because I think she would be interested. Also I think Rainbow Dash would tell her to remain in school becuase it would help her out. Now onto the next chapter!
8625319
Apparently, "angles are for eggheads".
You know, I'll bet equestria probably possesses prescient pegasai to properly promulgate portentous precipitation.
You know, arranging rain on the sorrowful, thunder before mad cackling, etc.
Scootaloo, you dense little bitch. Rainbow got away with what she was doing because, guess what? She had the natural talent and skill to do so. Your talent however? It is part of a set, and I highly doubt you'd be able to effectively do your thing with it without Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom. And never being able to fly? Well guess what, that is now possibly a self fulfilling prophecy because while Twilight was willing to help you with that, I highly doubt an orphanage run by the usual shitlords of Canterlot will do the same. In other words Scoots, fuck you and the scooter you rode in on.
Well that was dramatic. Though I have to say, I'm a little surprised with Scootaloo here. I know she's brash and a Rainbow Dash fangirl but dropping out of school and all that, didn't Dash give her a whole lesson on being herself and not trying so dang hard to be like her all the time?
Also on the one hand, nice reference to Lilo and Stich, very cute. However,
“Even a princess isn’t above the law,” said Mr. Bubbles with his gaze fixed on Twilight. Uh, yeah they actually are, that's how monarchies work. Atleast the kind they have in the show. The Princesses are the rulers of Equestria, they MAKE the laws as far as we've seen in the series. How does some random Child Services dude have more authority than Twilight.
Also this seems a little extreme considering Twilight's only had Scootaloo for like 2 days or so. Heck in Lilo and Stich it made more sense, Nani quit her job, was only in her early 20s I think and it wasn't until several incidents afterwards that he finally took Lilo away. Just seems like this is a little on the rushed side.
Not trying to judge or anything, story is good, but these seem like questionable elements.
Story's slowly losing the interest from it's premise. Seriously, if you've already shown you're willing to cut to Twilight's parents in the first chapter, couldn't we have had some check-ins since then? Also, I hate vague letters and statements that make no logical sense, like the letter Twilight's parents sent that was tailor-made to leave her worried and uncertain. There is zero chance that at least one of them wouldn't want to keep her updated on the situation since they know she doesn't handle stress well.
And God help you if it turns out they're hunky-dory and they were just getting adoption papers drawn up legally, I hate when serious problems just resolve themselves.
Damn, Cobra is really jumping the gun on this. A single public fight and an accident that Twilight had no way of preventing and she suddenly not fit to watch a filly? What the hell.
Well it is always sad to see a decent fic go the way of the overused under thought-out cliches.
Really you need to go back and rethink the whole 'Princesses aren't above the law', right next to a mention of the want it need it spell. Twilight caused a riot (Which only reason ponies didn't end up hurt and even dead was because its a kids cartoon) and wasn't punished at all because Celestia is totally above the law.
I really hope this Foal Protective services arc is over quick, because its almost never a good route unless you want to focus the whole fic on it. In which case you need to do a lot more research on how Child protective services works.
Princess' not above the law?
Scootaloo dropping out of school on a whim all without caring for ANY of the implications that it will have for others around her? Something that's COMPLETELY unlike her in the show?
SSSSSSIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Okay. Fine. Whatever. I'll play along with the story. But seriously. Probably a good idea to have a another chapter out soon. Kinda leaving a not so good taste in a lot of our mouths. I hope we can get back to Twilight's parents again. Good to know what's going on there. Getting anxious.
But keep up the good work my good man
Wait a second. Scootaloo said for them not to tell anyPONY. LOOPHOLE Found. Tell Spike, he isn't a pony,
This is where I get off. I'm real tired of the whole "Absolute Monarchs have to bend over for their employees" trope that shows up in every story with a Twilight/Orphanloo premise. There are other ways to get around Twilight having supreme executive authority. She's not an elected official with a suit and tie behind a desk in some dystopian democratic republic, she's not a public servant. She's a member of what is effectively a council of immortal god-queens, to whom the entire planet owes its continued existence to countless times over, and Equestrians far more than that.
Not to mention the fact 'Bubbles' brought up Twilight's failures like that. It sets a precedent others could use to discredit her rulership, and since Celestia is the one who acknowledged her effectively divine right to rule and elevated her to the position herself, to also discredit Celestia and Luna (haven't seen anything where someone's considered Luna unqualified to make decisions because she almost destroyed the world in a fit of fraggin' jealousy). The Princesses HAVE to be above the law, otherwise how are they meant to proctor it, alter it, abolish it, or reinstate it? What next, laws on how much magic alicorns can use and when? They're rulers, not citizens or slaves.
They don't have to be tyrants but there needs to be... more than this. Reduced to begging and nervousness while one of her employees tells her there's absolutely nothing she can do about whatever it is he makes a judgement call on. But apparently even an absolute ruler isn't capable of doing what he's capable of doing. He even CHALLENGES her to use her authority and rank, meaning he was ready to slap her down for it if she did, which means he was so completely in control of this situation that not even throwing her crown at him with all that it implies (the backing and support of a thousand+ year old empire's rulership and responsibility that brings with it) would have been enough to overrule him or even make him stumble. Argh, frustrating.
And don't even let me get started on how dumb Scootaloo's being. This has gone beyond her canon Rainbow Dash fixation. This is creepily-obsessed. At this point, her reason for it doesn't actually matter. It's pitched a little TOO hard. Her OOC issues have only gotten more pronounced. On top of this, Bubbles acting like he knows everything regarding Twilight and Scootaloo, but casually glossing over the fact that Scootaloo has been WITHOUT guardianship effectively for what... her whole life - she's had plenty of spills and accidents, right? And a day or two after finally getting a guardian she has another one of those common, everyday crashes and suddenly NOW she has to go to Canterlot?
The writing is fun, but there are just some things I cannot personally deal with. Good luck to you in all you do, and much success be upon your head.
8625304
i agree with you however i am more hurt that scootaloo is willing to toss away her sister without a thought. i always thought she would be like rainbow dash and be loyal to her family and friends. i guess i was wrong
more please i need to know what happens next
8625390
This. A thousand times this.
Seriously, I understand the allure of the Princesses not being above the law, but they are not democratically elected, and are therefore inherently above the laws that they themselves make.
Also, Foal Protective Services was called by whom? There's no way the Canterlot agency is going to know anything about the happenings over the past couple days, unless someone is watching and reporting back to them.
8625352
Yeah looking at how this was handled I'm pretty sure Bubbles would have deemed her unfit anyway due to Twilight's mistakes in the past. Stories with DCFS going after the good guys always make me upset.
8625411
Yeah I agree, I was totally thinking "It's a monarchy of course they're above the law" XD. But for the sake of the plot I can look past that. As for foal protective services nobody called them they were supposed to be coming for an inspection, it was just a coincidence he showed up when Scootaloo got hurt.
Please, do something involving the parents soon. Between that and Scootaloo's grades you had two great plotpoints going, you don't need the possibility of her getting taken away being thrown in. It's just dragging down an amazing premise.
8625390
I can see the whole Child Protective Services thing being a thing later on in the story, but COME ON, it was literally 2 days. Not to mention, in Child Protective Service, you have 60 days of an OFFICIAL investigation and a court hearing, not some random pop-up out of nowhere. Yes, they can bring up old charges, but seriously, Twilight has shown outstanding qualities of care and reformation since any of those previous cases. Honestly this is the part that pisses me off the most. You can't just remove a person from a household without proper evidence of mishandling, none of which he has possession of.
And lets say just for basic level counter arguing, that its different in Equestria, that investigators CAN have the full authority of a court for some reason. Both Applejack and Rarity still have their sisters, even after committing equally bad events. Even then, the whole bullshit about being 'absent' for crisis, that mysterious wrap up within a few days? God forbid we have another character, 'cough' Rarity 'cough' who is the sole caregiver for Sweetiebelle.
This story had potential, but unless this mess gets resolved within the next chapter, this is going in a terrible direction.
should be brunt.
Oh. We're doing this now?
Nah. byebye.
THE FEELS.
Dose anyone else want to smack Scootaloo?
Even his hind legs looked like the muscles had muscles! You need to have muscles on your eyeballs!!!
Well now... This story just took a complete 180... I'm speechless & in a good way too, the drama volume got turned up to the max!
8625480
Yep
Where are you going with all of this?
8625390
This, a thousand times this. And the story was doing so well up to this point ... and then it went ahead and invoked all these nonsensical fandom tropes and did a complete 180 in terms of credibility and enjoyability. There's really nothing more for me to add ... good luck and I'm out.
For those who didn't understand the reference.
Small little mistake here.
them
how did that guy even knew what happened there?
I think I stop reading here, I stopped at the faol service guy, mostly because I think it is far to soon for him to give such a judgement and how he was there in the first place and everything.
Then I already disliked how things went in the last chapter and I doubt I like the concerstation in this chapter much more later.
I admit I haven't read that part yet, but because of the last chapter I get the feeling I know how Scootaloo was written or why she might get the hate in this chapter from other characters or the comment section. I say that because I feel like I would not agree with the others, but I haven't read it yet, I just can image it being like an overreaction.
8625461
I get it that it didn'T turned out pretty well? I kind of stopped where the faol service guy planned to take away scotaloo, above I mentioned why I found that rather confusion.
Not sure if it actually makes sense, but your comment is suggestings something else and I think I remember it like that too.
you realize one letter to celestia one, and mr bubbles is not only given a C&D but also a treason threat right?
... uh no she is above the law, this is literally what the whole political system means, honestly if you let this go ahead and not have luna or celestia stop his decision, all your doing is saying equestria's political system isn't what cannon says it is without possible argument. this isn't a case of him having power, it would be amazing if foal services took his advice seriously, it would be astronomically unlikely if they found a judge to ratify there attempt to seize custody.
also the media is going to flay bubbles alive, twilight is canonically the most popular princess with the common ponies at this time, which means that the press are likely to go on a witch hunt against foal services when they hear of this, foal services well probably drop the case and fire bubbles just to save the sinking ship.
On the plus side, I really love you bringing in Cobra Bubbles as the FPS agent.
On the negatives: still waiting to see what happens with Twi's parents, Scootaloo is being way too obsessed with RD, Scoots planning on just up and running away from everything seems highly out of character, FPS making this judgement seems far far too soon there should be a lot more of an evaluation period.
BWAHAHAHAHAHHA...
Absolute Ruler FTW
More over... This is simply extremely stupid... two days of cabitation are NOT enough to get a base line.
There is NO way that you get that much leeway in getting child out of their blood relatives else there would be something like HALF of the equestrian kid in orphanages. People are NOT really good at parenting.
As said but a lot of people it's REALLY going a bad way...
8625590
Yeah it doesn't get any better from there. Honestly Scootaloo and Twiggles here have enough on their plate. A fucking decent story that honestly doesn't need to have anything else added to it.
Author, you overextended. You had a guy instantly make a life altering decision for two ponies. This story was going well, it's spiralling.
I'll be giving it one more chapter myself.
Ahhhh the time honored lilo and stitch reference
This is where I stop reading. The characterization of the Canon characters is amazingly spot on, but come on. Not even real life CPS would take away a child over an accident such as that. Shit, CPS hardly ever comes at all anymore! That just feels like a bad cop-out to add drama into the story, and it's partly ruined it for me.
That said, the first three chapters were awesome and I did thumbs up the story for that. But depending in the next chapter I'm not sure if I'll be reading on.
Sorry Spike, I don't intend to be mean, but I've seen that belly of yours enough times to know your abs are a bit...hidden.
Also, unlike others, though I agree Bubbles appearance and course of action is a bit too sudden, the rest of his reasonings are sound, he built an adequate enough of a case to at least call into question Twilight's adequacy for looking over Scootaloo with the information he's been given, and sure Twilight's a princess, but she should still be held accountable for her actions, not just in regards to law, but the rights and well-being of her subjects and those in her care, and honestly I'm shocked at the people suggesting that she should be. Assume for a second that Bubbles was right, and it really would be detrimental for Scootaloo to be in Twilight's care, to the point of it being without question. Would you really want Twilight refusing to agree simply because she was a princess put the well-being of somepony in jeopardy like that? Just when would the well-being of somepony become more important than the pride of the princess? If all of the subjects of a princess figure were all living in squalor unnecessarily because of the actions of said princess, would it really be right to let that continue just because she's a princess and has the last say? You critics really haven't thought out the consequences of what you're saying. And being familiar with the comment trends in situations such as that, I would even go so far as to bet that were that actually the case, and Twilight was undoubtedly being poor to Scootaloo, most of you would be singing a very different song over this.
Besides, canon's made it clear that the princesses are above the law entirely, especially if their actions may be seen to endanger others. Luna and Nightmare Moon comes to mind as an extreme example. But even then, none of the princesses have ever expressed the wish to lord over their subjects like that and all of them have taken steps to ensure that they don't, so canon-wise, it makes perfect sense to me that they are not, in fact, above the law, at least not in all circumstances and certainly not ones such as this. The princesses are not absolute rulers in Equestria--they answer to a system of checks and balances too, and voluntarily do so as well.
Besides, it's not like Bubbles says he's ruling that Scootaloo WILL be taken away, he's simply suggesting that it's his personal opinion that she SHOULD be taken away, and that will be taken into the advisement of those higher up than him for consideration. They might agree, or they might not--nothing's set in stone yet on that, and is all still pretty big "maybes."
But I will relent that the time frame Bubbles gives for a ultimate ruling is a bit unrealistic, especially given Scootaloo only just entered Twilight's care...a bit more build-up to this point would've been merited. That's probably my only real big criticism of this chapter, personally. Not one I think kills the story per se, but one still important enough that it needs bringing up.
And I will also echo the sentiment that we really need a status update on Twi's parents and whatever it is they're up to now too.
scootaloo your just being so stupid right now
8625631
Agreed. It doesn't work like that...when it works at all!
First, this chapter is incredibly rushed. If feels like you added the Child Services bit just to add conflict to the story, when Twilight trying to form some kind of relationship with Scootaloo while also being concerned about how this will effect her family is enough. Also, a child service agent would not go straight to taking a kid away after a couple of incidents, unless the parent/guardian is abusing the child. Sure, they might decide that regular check ups were needed, but they aren't gonna go from 0 to take kid that quick unless it was serious. On top of that, the way this is playing out, if feels like, as Kind of Brony stated, that this is gonna be instantly resolved with Twilight's parents popping up saying that they've adopted Scootaloo, and that, as her parents, they're allowing Scootaloo to stay with Twilight.
Second, Scootaloo is completely OoC considering the point of the show this is suppose to be coming from. During season 5, Scootaloo had developed enough to where she wasn't some obsessive Rainbow Dash fangirl who would abandon her friends in a heartbeat just to emulate her (Which is ironic considering that's going against Rainbow's core aspect of Loyalty; so, if anything, she's not being like Rainbow AT ALL.). With the way she's acting, it honestly feels like you just snatched up early season 2 Scootaloo and threw her right into the middle of season 5.
Of all the places you could have gotten drama from in this story? You choose this? *Sigh* Child Protective Services is such a writers crutch. Authors always give them exactly as much or little power as they need to make the story work. So a government agency just has the power to separate royalty from their biological relative? Bullshit. No oversight or anything? And all based on 1 outburst and 1 accident. If that was the standard then the other CMC should be taken away too. Hell MOST foals would be.
Im out. This chapter was a serious nose dive in quality from the previous ones.
8625653
He absolutely did not. His evidence was based on 1 public outburst, which was Twilight correctly and sensibly punishing a misbehaving child and 1 accident, that given the situation could have easily have happened if Twilight had been in the castle and could only reasonable have been prevented if Twilight never let Scootaloo leave her sight. He also brought up a few bad actions in Twi's past which are canonically YEARS ago, and so far outweighed by the good Twi has done that it is the equivalent of me being unable to raise a child cause I Jaywalked once.
Thats not the argument people are making. We're not saying she shouldn't morally be held accountable, we're saying that there is no way Bubbles has any LEGAL recourse to do anything. Whether or not its moral is irrelevant. He has not power.
Thats not how above the law works. You're either above the law, or you're not. Its especially complicated when you take in to account the REASON the princesses are above the law, this isn't like a case of diplomatic immunity or some shit, its because they are, literally, the law. Anyone in a monarchy who acts with authority does so because somewhere along the chain of command, the royalty has proffered them that power. It all comes back to the monarchs at the end. Saying a Monarch is subject to laws is like saying God is subject to the pope. its getting things fundamentally backwards.
Good chapter again! Difficulties are rising!
I hope Twilight will find a way to fix this, and that Scootaloo will realise what it means to have a family.
Darthvalgaav, please don’t lose the drive writing this truely good fanfic. It’s the only story pairing Twilight and Scootaloo as siblings so far, and it has quality. I, for one, didn’t find this chapter rushed. Please don’t let readers tell you, the author, how to write your own story. In your story, the inners of equestrian laws and how they work, if the princesses are above the law or not, ..., is for you to decide.
We see people complain about the overuse of children rights and orphan services, but do we see people complain about the flood of shipping/sex, Anon, random (”Celestia is replaced by a truck!”, “Twilight eats a peach!”), “I was in a cosplay as I-don’t-know-who and get teleported in Equestria as I-don’t-know-who!”, etc... fanfics happening everyday on this website?
Darthvalgaav, keep up the good job, and I, along with hundreds of other readers, eagerly await the next chapter of this fanfic which has 25 times more thumbs-up than it has thumbs-down.
Hmmm... I liked this story, because I found the premise very interesting, but I don't think this concept of foal protection service is appliable. Equestria has an ABSOLUTE monarchy, meaning the princesses make the laws and are essentially above it in progress.
If it would have been Rainbow Dash, Rarity or any other normal Pony then the "authorities" maybe could have a say, but NOT if an Alicorn is involved.
Aside from what's already been mentioned, villains coming after Twilight would have an easier time attacking her family if she's not around to protect them, i.e. with some random people in Canterlot.
8625706
Yes, because heaven forbid an author listen to criticism. You realize all stories make sense in the authors head, right? Even the most nonsensical. Besides, even if at the very least you're right and the story makes total sense with facts the author hasn't presented us, that's still a flaw in writing because its not just the authors job to create an interesting story, but to present it properly.
What's you're argument here? If other kinds of stories are popular, then less popular kinds of stories are immune to criticism? What?
Also, why would we be complaining about those things in an unrelated story? Its either that or you're accusing us all here of reading and enjoying all those kinds of stories and liking them which is incredibly presumptuous.
As many people have pointed out, a vast majority of the people criticizing the story did so BECAUSE we enjoyed the previous chapters. It has a lot of upvotes because it was up until this point very good. And we want it to keep being good, thats why we're criticizing it.
Besides, weren't you JUST complaining about popular things needing to get criticizing, Now you're complaining that a popular thing shouldn't get criticized. That seems a tad hypocritical.