A quiet and normal lunchbreak
Big Macintosh and Rainbow Dash are Dating and Everypony Freaks Out
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A quiet and normal lunchbreak
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“You know, I still don’t get it.”
“Mm?”
“How the hay could Rainbow Dash bed a stallion like Big Macintosh? I always thought she was a fillyfooler.”
Thunderlane shifted on his cloud as Cloudchaser stared into the sky. Summer was approaching, and that would mean no more clouds for the season. They would all be cleared out to allow the air to dry and allow the sun to shine more on the world below. The two pegasi were loitering on these clouds, enjoying them before they would disappear for the following months. They would then have to either adapt to land life or move to places like CloudsDale, which, during the hot season, condenses their buildings into one large structure, like an air base.
Thunderlane removed his face from the fluff and looked to Cloudchaser, who laid on her back, “Why are you wondering about that?”
Cloudchaser hummed, a hoof pressed to her chin, “Juts some idle thinking. If it were any other stallion, it wouldn’t bother me so much. But Big Macintosh…he’s the stallion of stallions, and I never thought she’d be into him, or males in general.”
“Isn’t that rather presumptuous?” Thunderlane asked with a smirk.
“Well, it was just a rumor,” she defended, “But it’s not like she ever did anything to prove otherwise.”
“I don’t think she was even aware of the rumor,” the other pegasus stated, “Or maybe she did and she didn’t care. It could’ve been either one of those.”
“Brony, weren’t you paying attention earlier? She came right up to us and told us about it, like she was proud or something,” Cloudchaser said as she sat up, “But then again, I’d be proud too if Big Macintosh was my coltfriend.”
“I’d have been proud if Rainbow Dash was my fillyfriend,” Thunderlane scoffed positively, “If only I had known.”
“I didn’t know you were into her, or athletes in general,” the pegasus mare stated.
“Hey, I like all kinds of fillies,” he said with a smug smile, “I pride myself on being an opportunist. I’m never picky.”
“You sure do pick me a lot, though,” Cloudchaser pointed out, turning to him with a sultry gaze.
Thunderlane sat up to stretch, “Only because you don’t have ‘fillyfooler’ written all over you.”
“Now who’s being presumptuous?” the pegasus mare said to him, belly flat on her cloud.
The two of them shared a laugh for a moment. When the laughter died, Cloudchaser frowned. “Poor Flitter, though.”
“She didn’t seem to take the news as well,” the pegasus stallion said, “She didn’t want to go cloud surfing with me. We were supposed to go later this afternoon”
“Yeah. I wonder where she went. It’s almost lunch time.”
Thunderlane flopped onto his back, much like how Cloudchaser laid before, “Hey, Flitter isn’t the jealous type, is she?”
“Oh, you think she had a crush on her?” the pegasus mare asked back, “Well, now that you mention it, she might’ve had a thing for her.”
The other pegasus shrugged, “I asked because of that whole dance drama thing several years ago.”
Cloudchaser chuckled, “That was a mess. She ate all the food and clocked Hoops in the jaw. I don’t think the fire was her fault though.”
“How do you set fire to clouds?” Thunderlane asked.
“I don’t know, but you’d have to be a real derp to pull that off,” the other pegasus mocked.
Some time passed before Thunderlane spoke again, “Where do you think she went? It’s almost lunchtime.”
Cloudchaser merely shrugged, “Probably to get something to eat. Maybe ice cream or something.”
“So she is the jealous type,” he replied, “Hope she doesn’t do anything stupid.”
“Hey, if I really wanted to bang a pony, I’d punch a shark for it,” she mused, “I mean, I wouldn’t consider Rainbow Dash, but maybe Big Macintosh,” she trailed off as she envisioned the stallion in her mind, “Tch, Rainbow’s lucky she gets to tap that flank whenever she wanted.”
“What makes you think they’re doing it? It’s only been for a week,” Thunderlane pointed out.
“Brony, have you seen that stallion? They’d be wrecking the barn shed every night, if you know what I mean,” she said with a swoon, “I mean, I’m not picky either. I could definitely go for some raw stallion right about now…”
“Hey, I’m a raw stallion,” the male pegasus said defensively as he turned his head to eye her.
“Oh, right. What I meant to say was some delicious green apples,” Cloudchaser said with a hungry hum.
“…that doesn’t make me feel any better.”
“It’s not supposed to.”
Thunderlane groaned in response.
“Actually, I really could go for a big ol’ apple. Something nice and round, good to the nose, full of juice,” the pegasus mare listed, “With a satisfying crunch when you sink your teeth into it.”
The pegasus stallion looked at her with the most disgusted face he could muster. She noticed this and quirked an eyebrow.
“What? I’m talking about lunch.”
“…oh.”
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A relaxing time abound...
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“Macintosh!”
“Oh, Rainbow Dash. Yer back.”
The pegasus landed on the ground, pausing to catch her breath. They were outside of the barn shed, the very one they snuck into for their last fun time. Macintosh had just put away the squash and was about to retrieve the ax when the pegasus arrived. She took a few more gasps before she could speak properly.
“Our cover’s blown,” Rainbow Dash gulped, “It’s been blown. Pinkie Pie’s been spying on us.”
Macintosh grimaced, though less than he should be.
“Ah know. ‘Tisn’t somethin’ Ah wanna think about,” he said, turning his head to scratch at his hair.
She cocked her eyebrow at him, “Wait a minute, you knew?”
“Not exa-”
“Oh my Celestia,” she covered her muzzle, “Please, please, please do not tell me you get off to an audience because if you do-”
“Heyy!” he interrupted her, “Ah am just as embarrassed as you are knowin’ this. Ah just heard it from Applejack and Ah’ll tell ya, hearin’ it from yer sister is no walk in the orchard.”
Rainbow Dash blinked. She was overshooting things and jumping to conclusions again, but at least Macintosh didn’t take it personally. That was one of the benefits of having him as a coltfriend. He’s so understanding that he can dismiss falsities and assumptions without making anypony feel bad about it. She liked not having to feel like road apples because of something stupid she said. But she could never escape that initial mortification.
“Oh. Sorry, I wasn’t thinking straight,” she looked away, embarrassed, “See, I just heard about it from Twilight, and she heard about it from Applejack, who heard about it from Pinkie Pie…”
There was a moment of silence as Rainbow Dash came to learn something.
“Huh. So that’s how word spreads,” she said in a positive tone.
“An’ it only took all mornin’ too,” Big Macintosh chuckled, “Must be a new record.”
Rainbow Dash chuckled, but her laughter was short lived, “But really though. Pinkie Pie knew we’ve been doing it. You have any idea how freaky that is?”
Big Mac simply nodded, “Makes you wonder what else she’s seen in this town.”
Rainbow Dash nodded in return, “Yeah. Always somehow being there, knowing what other ponies are up to,” she trailed off when she came to another conclusion, “On second thought, it isn’t that surprising, since she somehow keeps tab on everyone.”
He raised a brow, “Don’tcha mean everypony?”
“No.”
Silence.
“So, funny story,” Rainbow Dash started, taking a quick glance around to see if there was anypony else listening, “I was looking for her because I wanted to tell her about not telling anypony else about you-know-what.”
“Uh huh,” he said, following along.
“And my first stop was at Sugar Cube Corner,” her lips curled into a frown “Guess what I saw?”
Mac wasn’t sure if he was supposed to know, “Umm, Pinkie Pie?”
“No. Mr. and Mrs. Cake making…” she shivered slightly, “…a third cake.”
It took a while for Big Macintosh to register, but when he did, he shivered and felt icky all over. It was a horrible image in his head and it wouldn’t leave.
“Usin’ metaphor’s don’t help much for my psyche,” Mac said as he suddenly didn’t feel as hungry as he did earlier.
“How do you think I felt, walking in on that?” despite what she saw, she managed to chuckle reflecting on the experience, although Mac was having a hard time coping with it.
“Well, Ah bet Pinkie would take it better than anypony,” the stallion said, “But fer somethin’ like that? Might need an improvision.”
“Actually, I drown my brain in cake and sweets. Although that’s what I do after I see anything. Or do anything. Or after anything, really.”
Both ponies turned to find a pink pony, minding her own business, loudly sipping her banana flavored drink through a straw as she sat on a barrel. The sucking sound lingered the entire time the two were quiet, until Rainbow Dash broke the silence.
“Pinkie Pie! H-how long have you been standing there?” the pegasus questioned.
She gulped before answering, “Since the part where the words were like ‘We didn’t need to see that’. Totally appropriate,” she explained as she hopped off the barrel, “Been waiting here for five parts and ten pages, maybe eleven. Haven’t kept track on the Microsoft Word document.”
Both ponies looked at each other before shrugging off Pinkie’s detached words.
“So, why are you here?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“Oh, just wondering if I could celebrate your ‘you and Big Macintosh coming out with your relationship’ party and host it here. At the farm. With lot’s of other ponies,” she finished with a wide, exuberant smile.
Big Macintosh and Rainbow Dash looked at each other before nodding and giving their answer.
“Nnope.” “Sure.”
Mixed answers, actually.
“Hold on, do we really need a party fer this?” Macintosh asked.
Rainbow Dash shrugged her left wing, “I think it’s for the best that we cement this as soon as possible. I mean, you don’t want to know what I just went through in town.”
“By the sounds o’ that, Ah think it’s an even worse idea,” Big Macintosh said, concerned, “And Ah don’t think Ah’ve ever told you, but there have been a few aggressive mares that have been eyein’ me for a long time.”
“Pssh, I can handle them,” she dismissed his worries with a wave of her hoof, “What kind of fillyfriend would I be if I couldn’t defend my coltfriend from rabid mares?” the pegasus said, breaming with confidence, “Besides, I can nuke the place if it comes to that.”
“Ah don’t think AJ would like that one bit,” Mac said with half a scowl.
“Relax, Mac. I swear, nothing will go wrong,” his fillyfriend ensured, “Cross my heart, hope to fly, yadda yadda-”
“Finish it.”
The pegasus and stallion both turned to the pink pony, who suddenly became dark and serious, and somewhat monochrome.
“Finish the swear.”
With a confused and slightly afraid gulped, Rainbow Dash performed the entire chant, somewhat faster than needed, “Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”
As soon as she finished, Pinkie Pie regained her iconic color and fidgeted excitedly, “Yay! Time to fire up the party cannon! We’re celebrating tonight. I bet your whole family is going to love it!”
And then a realization hit Macintosh just as Pinkie Pie zipped out of existence.
“Oh horse apples,” he cursed, “We haven’t told Granny Smith or Apple Bloom yet.”
Rainbow Dash turned to him curiously, “Hm? Is there a problem?”
Macintosh rubbed his neck, “Well, no. Just somethin’ that slipped mah mind.”
“What are you worried about? I mean, granny’s an old, wise mare. Apple Bloom’s a young, open minded filly. They’ll both understand,” she explained as she trotted forward.
The stallion breathed happily, “Why, that must’ve been the most understandin’ thing you said about mah family.”
The pegasus shrugged, “If I’m doing you, then they’re my family too.”
“Ain’t that sweet,” he pulled her in with his foreleg and gave her a deep kiss, which she returned.
When they parted, Rainbow Dash sighed blissfully, “Well, I need to go. Twilight made a big ruckus over in town-”
“Fracas!” Pinkie Pie shouted in the distance.
“Whatever, in town and I need to have a word with her.”
“Huh, well. Alright then,” Big Macintosh said, “Jus’ be careful of any crazed mares. Ah had a ‘thing’ with a few of them before. Some might not like the thought of you an’ me bein’ an item.”
She chuckled, “I think I ran into that problem already,” she said with a wink and turned around. But before she flew off, a thought came to her head, “Huh. You don’t think Twilight is…?”
“Is what?” he replied.
“You know, one of those…jealous mares?” she said with a concerned face. If the case were true, it wouldn’t be an easy talk with the unicorn.
“Hmm. Maybe. Ah did lick her once,” Rainbow Dash stared, “Discord made me do it.”
“I’ll pretend to believe you for now. Be back soon.”
And like that, she rocketed off towards the library, leaving Mac to wrap up work.
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Jealousy may be abound...
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“Mayor Mare? I’m here,” Twilight called out into the hall.
It was now about half an hour before lunch, just like the mayor had scheduled. Town Hall wasn’t a very busy place, much less a noisy one, as all of its occupants and workers went about their business quietly to ensure that work went on uninterrupted. The mare at the front desk had only needed to direct Twilight to a door, one that read ‘Mayor’s office’, for the unicorn to find her way to the pony in question.
From behind the desk, Mayor Mare rose from the ground, carrying a rather thick folder in her hooves.
“Twilight Sparkle! I just remembered you were coming over,” the mayor said as she dropped the folder onto the table, “I just found the folder you wanted to see.”
The unicorn trotted toward the desk and scanned the folder. The first thing she noticed about it was the big red CONFIDENTIAL stamped on the front, as well as several ribbons hanging out acting as bookmarks of sorts.
“Uhh, thanks,” she said with a nervous smile, “But, what exactly is this?”
The mayor chuckled, “Why, it’s a list of every bachelor stallion living in Ponyville. What else could it be?”
“Oh,” Twilight said. She gave the folder another look, and a gear in her head was having trouble completing its rotation, “What?”
The mayor gave another laugh, “Why so stumped? A neat and tidy pony like yourself should be grateful that such a list like this is prepared.”
It still confused her, “But, you said earlier that you didn’t have a list like this prepared.”
Mayor Mare chuckled again, then said with a straight face, “I lied.”
More gears in her head came to a stop, “I’m sorry, what?”
“Well, you never know who could be listening,” she said, placing a hoof to the table and inching closer, “You see Twilight, not a single stallion in town is aware that this folder exists. In fact, only a select group of mares even know about it.”
“But…what exactly is it?” Twilight asked.
Mayor Mare opened the folder to a page with the biography of a stallion, “I already told you, it’s a list of bachelor stallions in Ponyville. Every unwed, single, and eligible of course, stallion that is currently residing in the town. We hold meetings about it every month or so.”
Another gear in her head whirred to a stop, “You…hold meetings for this,” she resisted the urge to plant a hoof to her face with all her might, “How did you get all this information without the town knowing?”
“Pinkie Pie.”
There went all of her resistance as the sound of a hoof hitting its owner’s face echoed throughout the room.
“Should’ve known…” Twilight said with a roll of her eyes, “Well, thanks, I guess.”
“No problem at all,” the mayor said, then placed a hoof on the folder just as Twilight was about to take it, “Oh, forgot to mention. You can’t take it home with you.”
“What? Why not?” the unicorn asked.
“I just told you, this is a very important list for the mares in Ponyville,” Mayor Mare explained as she opened the folder to a top ten list, “It is vital that no stallion ever knows of this. Do you know what would happen if knowledge of this folder ever made it out of this building?”
Twilight stared for a second with a raised brow, then slowly shook her head.
“Stallions will grow self conscious about their image and personalities,” the mayor listed, “They’ll take on whatever measure they can to ‘improve’ themselves, and, mind you, some of these stallions and their insecure nature is what makes them on this list,” she said, tapping a blue stallion’s profile. “If every stallion suddenly decided to reshape themselves into a preferred image, the entire list will be thrown off blanace and Ponyville will become a romantic mess!”
Twilight Sparkle wasn’t sure if she was to take the mayor seriously over a list. After all, she couldn’t see the merit, or necessity, to having such a list exist in the first place. Then again, she wasn’t looking for a stallion to date yet, so the list held no purpose for her. And although the vision of a ruined Ponyville had come so close to fruition many times, she could sympathize that the mayor would want to prevent such a disaster. She couldn’t see how it would happen, but it was Ponyville, and anything could happen in this town.
“I…see,” the unicorn finally said, “Well then, what am I supposed to do?”
The mayor shrugged, “Can’t you just look through the list right now?”
Twilight decided it might be for the best that she run through the folder rather quickly, “Well, ok then.”
Using her magic, Twilight took the papers out and took a moment to look at how it was arranged. She made a note on the order so that she could return it the way it was when she was finished. Mayor Mare seemed to know this, as she didn’t seem upset when Twilight began splitting up the papers. The unicorn analyzed each one, noting the names of the stallions with those that she was familiar with. The more she looked, the more she began to realize something.
The list was incomplete.
“Umm, something’s wrong with your list,” Twilight said as she began placing everything back in order, “It’s rather small. There’s only, like, thirty or so stallions in here. There can’t be that few of them in Ponyville.”
The mayor seemed confused by this for a moment, “Oh, that’s because not every stallion is in it. Really, it’s only just about half of them enclosed within the folder.”
“Why only half?” the unicorn asked as she closed the folder and set it down just like it was before.
“Well, some of the stallions are already taken, or married,” Mayor Mare explained, seating herself in her office chair, “Others…aren’t exactly notable enough to be included. That’s why the list needs to stay secret from Ponyville. I even had the walls soundproofed for it.”
Twilight seemed to have just noticed that the room was eerily quiet for Ponyville. A quick look outside the window revealed that there were several things going on that warranted noise, such as a pony juggling for bits, a few workers drilling and sawing wood, fillies running after a stray ball, several ponies laughing, and two ponies having a fencing match. Then Twilight saw what appeared to be a flying object in the distance, just over the school. Twilight watched as the object buzzed around for a bit before sailing towards the ground and disappearing from view behind some trees.
Just then, a stallion in a ballerina suit strode into view, balancing himself on a unicycle holding a bar with two tanks of water on each end. Both tanks housed a dolphin kicking a ball back and forth through a ring held by a hat the pony was wearing. Nopony paid the stallion two seconds of attention, including Twilight. Her focus shifted when she spotted Rainbow Dash flying overhead and talking to some pegasus.
The unicorn snapped out of her focus and turned back to the mayor, “Sorry about that. I was a bit distracted.”
“I understand,” she nodded.
Twilight went back to business, walking towards her desk, “So, the list is incomplete then. I need the rest of the male population of Ponyvile to look at.”
Mayor Mare laughed, “But why would you need that much information when you have a list of eligible bachelors right here?” she said as she opened the folder to a top ten list, “If it’s dates you’re looking for, why not this fine pegasus? Or how about this unicorn? Ooh! How about this one? I hear he’s a special doctor!”
Twilight growled, “I already told you, I’m not looking for a stallion to date!”
“Are you sure?” the unicorn glared, “Then why need a list like this?”
“Because,” she was about to talk about her suspicions, until her eye caught something. The top ten list did have some appealing stallions, but that wasn’t what distracted her. At the very top of the list was a red stallion, with green eyes, freckles, and orange hair. And a yoke.
Big Macintosh was at the top of the list. If the mayor knew this, maybe then she’d take her seriously.
The mayor had somehow brought out a bottle of water while she was looking and was taking a moment to drink it. A tiny Pinkie Pie in her mind told her to say it before she finished drinking, but Twilight pushed those thoughts away. She waited until the bottle left her mouth before speaking.
“Because Rainbow Dash happens to be dating stallion number one, Big Macintosh,” she said.
Apparently, the mayor’s portion needed two swallows, because she had just spat out the second one.
“Big Macintosh is dating somepony?!” Mayor Mare asked, Twilight resisting the need to roll her eyes.
“Yes. Applejack told me about it this morning,” she confirmed.
Mayor Mare took back the folder and observed the list, reading a few lines while going back and forth between pages.
“This is…unexpected. Very unexpected,” the mayor said nervously as she continued searching through the folder.
“Why so? I thought Mac is supposed to be number one?” Twilight stated.
“But that top ten list exists for a very good reason. Oh you wouldn’t understand,” the mayor said as she brought out another paper.
Twilight finally rolled her eyes, “Clearly I don’t.”
The mayor scanned the paper and read a few names out loud, “Rabbit’s Foot, Raceway, Rad Rachael, Raggedy Ann, Rarity, …oh, she isn’t on the list.”
The unicorn peeked at the list, “I thought you only had a list of stallions here?”
The mayor put the paper away as she spoke, “No Twilight, that’s a list of every mare who comes by for the meetings about the list. Rainbow Dash isn’t on it, so there wasn’t any way she knew.”
Another gear in her head became stuck, “Wait, the same meetings you talked about before?”
The mayor nodded.
“And, dare I ask, what is it you do in these meetings?”
“Oh, we just report in on stallion activity, what it is they do, any updates to their usual schedule,” Twilight found it harder to keep her hoof away from her face the more she spoke, “But we focus mainly on the top ten stallions in that list. Mares are prohibited from seeking relations with those ponies.”
The unicorn scratched her head at this, “Why is that?”
“If those stallions were fair game, every mare would be chasing them down alleys, spending every last bit they have to flirt with them, and even fight each other to the death for a chance to ask them out.”
“Do you really think the mares of this town would be so childish as to fight over a stallion?” Twilight asked.
The mayor simply stared at her, “It wouldn’t be the first time a crowd full of mares went into a mob over something. Don’t you remember, Twilight?”
She was confused for a bit, until she remembered the incident with her Smarty Pants doll.
“Oh.”
She hated it when the mayor did that.
“So you see, Twilight, Big Macintosh dating somepony is quite a big deal,” Mayor Mare continued to explain, then looked at Twilight oddly, “But…you didn’t come here to tell me that, did you?”
“Of course not,” she replied flatly.
“So why do you need to look at a list for this?” the mayor asked.
“Because,” she was finally about to explain herself, “I have reason to believe that Rainbow Dash is only into Big Macintosh for nontraditional reasons. One of my suspicions was that there weren’t enough notable stallion ponies in Ponyville, which is why I asked for a list.”
Mayor Mare rubbed her chin, “I see. You believe it isn’t a real relationship. In that case, I can supply you with a list of every bachelor pony in Ponyville.”
Twilight beamed, “You will?”
“It’ll take a while to have a copy printed though. Think you can wait that long?” she asked.
“Of course!” Twilight smiled, then became curious, “But, why are you helping me all of a sudden?”
“Because, we have to know if this relationship is real or not,” she pointed back to the list, “If Mac’s taken, the entire thing will have to be revised. We need to know if this is a real relationship or not before we can do with the revisions.”
“I see…” Twilight still couldn’t take the existence of the list seriously, but at least she earned the help of the mayor, “Well, I’ll do my best.”
“If our members were here, they’d help you with whatever they can do to confirm their couple status,” Mayor Mare said, “You’d be surprised at how many mares have wanted to date Big Macintosh for a long time. They’d eat their own hoof for one!”
Twilight pretended to giggle, but then a thought came to her. She might not take this list seriously, but others do. If she could gather the help of all the mares in town, she’d learn the truth about their relationship in no time.
“Oh, Mayor Mare,” she spoke up.
“Yes?”
Wait. Would she really put her friend through that?
No. She was thinking of it the wrong way. This was for her own safety. She couldn’t let her go through a relationship like that. And Rainbow Dash was the stubborn type.
It was for her own good.
“Do you think you could make an announcement for me?”
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There's an eerie calm right now...
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“That’ll be three bits,” Applejack said as the customer handed her the money. She took it and let it drop in the already filled bucket and gave him a slice of pie, “Thank you, come again!”
The cowgirl sighed happily as she watched the stallion carry his lunch to a nearby open seat. It was midway to noon on the borders of Sweet Apple Acres, but business was already booming and the lunch area was stocked. She had made a good sale today and was almost sold out already. She was starting to think she’d need to go back to the farm to get more for any more customers.
She was about to close her stand to make that run when she overheard something from a customer, “Hey, are you going to that private meeting?”
Applejack wasn’t much of an eavesdropper, but there wasn’t anything dishonest about listening to a conversation when somepony else was being carelessly loud. She decided to get to work on closing shop while keeping her ears opened.
“Probably not. School’s about to end and I need to pony the candy shop for when the foals come by.”
“Boo, you’re no fun, Bonbon.”
“Why are you going, though, Lyra?”
Applejack was about to lose interest until she heard the next part.
“Well, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a teensy bit curious about Rainbow Dash being straight or not, what with her new coltfriend and all.”
That was weird. Apparently the news had spread quicker than she expected in the span of a few hours. But what was this whole thing about a meeting?
Wait a minute. Rainbow Dash was dating Big Macintosh. And he was sought after by over half of the mares in town. She’d understand if there were some suspicions abound out of jealousy, but holding a meeting about it? She needed to listen in.
“What’s the meeting about again?” Applejack hoped she’d ask that kind of question, “Seems like a big deal about just two ponies.”
“Hey. They aren’t just two ponies. It’s Rainbow Dash and Big Macintosh, after all. The two of them are, like, the pinnacle of pony hotness!”
“Oh yeah. You would be the kind of pony to appreciate both.”
“Well, it does have its perks, but that’s not really why I want to go.”
As Applejack tended to putting away what little food was left back into the cart, she saw out of the corner of her eye an orange pegasus mare walking up to the two.
“Pardon me for asking, but I couldn’t help but overhear you two,” she said casually, “Exactly who are you talking about?”
She heard a scoff, “Rainbow Dash, the lean and toned athlete flyer, who happens to be dating Big Macintosh, the peak of male stallion ripeness.”
“Lyra, seriously.”
“Hmm, I see. Sorry for asking, I just came into town recently,” the pegasus said, “Been wanting to take some time off.”
“What’s your name? You look like a farmer,” Bonbon asked.
“Oh, Red Tongue,” the pegasus said, “My cutie mark doesn’t actually mean I can grow plants, but I do like spicy foods.”
“Have you met Pinkie Pie yet?” Lyra asked, “If not, she’s probably busy. She somehow knows when a new pony comes into town.”
“Well, I’m not here to stay actually, just visiting.”
“Oh, I guess that’s an exception,” Bonbon said, “That or maybe she’s busy.”
“You should come to the meeting. We’re going to discuss the social status of the two while we review the list of available stallions in town.”
“Ehh, not really interes-” she stopped, “Actually, that would help me out a bit.”
“Are you really sure about that?” Bonbon asked, “Seems like a waste of time just to see who’s single or not.”
“You’re one to talk for a mare in her mid 20’s,” Lyra taunted.
“I’ll just stick around for that list and…” suddenly everything went quiet, “…hello handsome.”
Applejack heard some cooing from the lunch crowd and was confused as to why the noise stopped. It wasn’t until she got up from undoing the locks on the cart’s wheels that she found out why. Walking in from the eastern entrance of Sweet Apple Acres was an orange and blonde stallion, wearing a cowboy hat and vest, with a single apple for a cutie mark. His cutie mark wasn’t the only thing the mares were staring at, apparently.
“Well, howdy, cuz. Been a while, ain’t it?” he said to her.
“Braeburn! What an unexpected surprise!” Applejack said aloud, “You didn’t tell me you were comin’ over to visit.”
The stallion shrugged, “I got some free time from Appleloosa. All the apples have been bucked and the trees got all summer to grow. Figured I take the time to see how my cousin’s handlin’ things in Ponyville.”
“Well, ain’t that nice o’ y'all,” she handed him a leftover apple dumpling, “Care for a bite?”
He waved his hoof, “Just ate. Thank ya kindly, though.”
“Oh. Well, Ah figure since yer here an’ all, you should know of some unexpected developments that happened recently,” more Apple ponies needed to find out about her brother and the pegasus, and it had to be sooner or later.
“Oh, really?” he gave a glance to the crowd of mares behind him, knowing what they were looking at, but didn’t mind.
“Eyup. As it turns out, that big oaf Macintosh got himself a fillyfriend,” she said, to Braeburn’s surprise.
“Whoa nelly! Seriously? Who’s the lucky mare?” he asked, now no longer caring of the attention he was getting.
“Rainbow Dash. You remember her, right?” she asked.
“Ohhh. Now I do. Winged, lean, toned, brash,” Braeburn listed with a hoof to his chin, “Yep, Mac’s got himself a keeper. Them pegasi are all life and no slack. Almost makes me jealous.”
“Would you like a pegasus of your own, cowboy?” Red Tongue said from behind.
Braeburn turned to the mare and was astonished. Now the Applejack had a closer look at her, she was almost like Rainbow Dash physically, with a sculpted body, only plusher. Her orange and red mane looked hastily combed, or at least was only combed recently, as it was pulled forward and tucked under a headband. Her cutie mark was, surprisingly, that of a red pepper, which was an earth element and looked odd on a pegasus.
After the initial shock, Braeburn turned cool, “Well, that depends. How do you like your apples?”
“Well, I’m not usually a picky eater,” Red Tongue said in a flirtatious voice, “But I can always go for something tough with a sweet center.”
“Okay, you two,” Applejack interrupted, “This is a public dinin’ area. Braeburn, show some decency.”
“Oh, sorry AJ,” he said to her with a tip of his hat, “I’m usually…a little more conservative,” he said to Red Tongue in a lightly suave tone.
“So it is true,” Lyra said out of nowhere, right next to Applejack, “Big Macintosh and Rainbow Dash are dating?”
Applejack sighed lightly as she folded the cart, “Yep. Ah’m just as surprised as you are. Although Ah can’t help but worry some ponies might take it a little too far.”
As Braeburn and Red tongue walked away to chat, Lyra dismissed her worries with a wanton wave of her hoof, “You overestimate these ponies, Applejack. See, I don’t know if you heard, but I’m going to a meeting-”
“Ah heard.”
“-to discuss the changes to the balance of single and taken stallions in Ponyville. A completely harmless exchange of words,” Lyra said in all naivety, “I mean, what’s the worst that could happen?”
---
Yes, what indeed could go wrong...?
---
“Now, do you know why you’re here, young mare?”
It was half an hour past lunch. The foals of the school were outside, working off their sore legs or enjoying a nice lunch made by their parents. The school wasn’t so strict with a schedule like other schools were. In fact the schedule seemed to jump around with no particular time of day in mind. It made things a lot easier for the limited staff of the faculty, namely the one teacher, janitor, nurse, and counselor.
There was still the occasional fluke in foal behavior, and Cheerilee was there to deliver justice to those who did wrong. Today’s victim: Sweetie Belle.
“Umm, because we owe Mr. Mops a new floor buffer?” she meekly answered with a guilty smile.
“That too. And what else?” Cheerilee persisted.
“Uhh, and a new floor?”
“Exactly,” Cheerilee said as she rubbed her temples, “I do not mind that you and your friends will do anything for your cutie marks, but can you at least keep it out of school grounds?”
“We weren’t even trying to get our cutie marks,” the filly defended, “We just thought that it looked like a flying saucer. It was plugged in and…”
“I don’t know what’s worse,” Cheerilee said with a sigh, “The fact that you destroyed half of the hall floors in the school or that you actually managed to achieve flight with the thing…”
In view of the window, the fillies gleefully galloped by a smoldering machine in a crater, along with a Sweetie Belle shaped imprint next to it. A few would stop their outdoor activity to marvel at the catastrophe before resuming their well deserved lunch break.
“…for a few seconds.”
The unicorn filly rubbed her forehead were her bandage was. The nurse said she got a minor horn depression from the crash, but it should recover as long as she kept her head out of trouble.
“Well, I didn’t get my cutie mark out of it, so…” the filly said disdainfully, “I can’t really feel any worse than I already do.”
Cheerilee gave a sarcastic smile, “Oh, good. Then I hope your parents and sister know how to fix that, because I am going to host a parent-teacher’s conference next week.”
“What?!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed.
“Oh, I should also bring in Apple Bloom’s family, and Scootaloo’s too,” she thought, ignoring the filly’s cry.
“B-But, why drag them into this? I’m the one that wrecked that floor buffer!” she said as she pointed an arm outside, where a filly looked distressed at something out of view.
“Because, Sweetie Belle, your Cutie Mark Crusader business has had a negative effect on all three of you,” she explained, “And, it’s been harmful to Ponyville life in general. So I figure it’s about time we-”
“Cheerilee!!” a purple pony burst through the door, “It’s terrible! Terrible news!”
“Wha, Berry Punch?” Cheerilee responded, confused, “What are you doing here? I’m talking to a student!”
“But Cheerilee,” she sprawled herself out on the teacher’s desk dramatically, “It’s awful! Just plain awful!”
The teacher sniffed the air for a bit, “Have you been drinking again?”
“Maybe, but that’s not important right now!”
The sound of a hoof hitting its owner in the face was heard as Cheerilee looked to Sweetie Belle, one hoof still over her eye, “I’m really sorry you have to see this, Sweetie Belle. But this is what happens when you let your talent define who you are for the rest of your life.”
Sweetie Belle looked to the half drunk parent and analyzed her. The plumes of her mane were actually lumps of knotted hair on closer inspection, grown that way from years of passing out and sleeping on a hard surface. Her coat was an absurd shade of purple, and she smelled very fruity. From her cutie mark, which was a strawberry and bunch of grapes, a horrible realization dawned on her.
She was becoming a fruit.
“Berry Punch, can it wait?” Cheerilee turned to the slightly dizzy mare, “I was about to tell Sweetie Belle something.”
“It’s about Big Macintosh,” she continued, “He and Rainbow Dash are dating!”
“Oh, for the love of Celestia, what do I care abo- Wait. What’d you say?” Cheerilee asked, sharing Sweetie Belle’s look of surprise.
Berry Punch nodded, “Just heard about it from the mare herself. She’s doing Big Macintosh!”
“Berry! Not in front of the filly!” Cheerilee responded loudly.
“What? I talk like that all the time in front of my kid and she never complains,” she said dismissively with a hoof, teetering a bit from being on three legs.
“Never mind that,” Cheerilee said, standing up, “For how long?”
“Oh, since she was born,” Cheerilee glared, “Oh, you mean Macintosh and Dash? They said a week, but,” she leaned in close to her, “Some of us are suspicious about that number.”
“Huh? Why is that so?” she asked.
“Because Rainbow Dash flew away when Carrot Top asked if it was a week or a few months,” Berry explained, “That’s why I came here. We’re having a private mare meeting over at a secret location about it.”
“And you wanted to invite me, why?” Cheerilee asked.
“You’re the second smartest mare I know, Cheerilee, next to Twilight,” Berry said, “And she’s hosting the meeting, too. You could help us out with your added smarts.”
The shock of the news had died out for Cheerilee and she was sensible again, “A meeting? Seriously? Thanks but no thanks. If its answers you want, I can just go ask Big Macintosh myself, since we’re good friends and all.”
“But Rainbow Dash won’t let you go near him,” Berry Punch pointed out.
“Berry, it’s just friendly talk. I’m sure Rainbow Dash won’t mind,” she left her table, “Besides, I don’t think she’s the clingy type of mare.”
“Bring a helmet, just in case!” she warned before Cheerilee could leave.
As she opened the door, something crossed her mind. Sweetie Belle was still in the room, only she had forgotten for what reason.
“Oh yeah, Sweetie Belle, you can go,” Cheerilee said.
She was reasonably surprised, “But, what about my punishment?”
“Wait, you had a punishment?” she responded.
“Nope! I don’t know what I’m talking about! Thank you, Ms. Cheerilee!” and like that, Sweetie Belle bolted out the door.
Rushing out the school and over the still hot floors, Sweetie Belle had one place on her mind.
‘Clubhouse.’
---
Things are still relatively peaceful...
---
Entering the library through the balcony door, the first thing Rainbow Dash noticed was that the lights were out, even though it was past noon. The curtains were closed and only a single candle was lit, and the only other light source was from the window she just entered. She cautiously entered the library, and just as she did, the door behind her closed by some invisible influence, which Dash instantly thought was magic.
“Twilight? Are you here?” she hesitantly called out.
She could make out the usual mess of books in the darkness, but what stood out to her was that a nearby table had been cleared out and moved near the staircase. There was a tall chair, facing away from her, placed by it, the kind that important ponies had in their offices.
“Hello, Rainbow Dash,” Twilight Sparkle said villainously as the chair rotated, revealing the unicorn sitting there with her pet owl roosted on her head.
The pegasi’s first thought was to be intimidated. However, the sight of the serious unicorn with an indifferent and somewhat adorable owl on her head overpowered her with feelings of mirth. Unable to hold it in, Rainbow Dash burst out chuckling at the unicorn while Twilight lost her composure.
“What, what’s wrong? Is the lighting not bright enough?” she asked, embarrassed.
“N-no, you just look silly with that bird on your hea-HAhahahahahh!” it just got funnier every time she looked.
Groaning lightly, she looked up at her pet, Owlowiscious, who looked down when she leaned her head back. There was a silent command that Owlowiscious understood, prompting him to flutter off and perch onto the armchair. Twilight tried her best to look serious again, combing her hair a bit with her hoof, while the pegasus calmed down.
“Ok. I’m ok,” she said, feeling lighter about the mood, “So, Twilight, I came by to talk to you about what you said in town.”
“Yes, I figured you’d be back about that,” Twilight said as she stroked her pet owl’s head.
“Actually, I did say that we should discuss it in the library,” she rubbed the back of her head with a hoof. It was sort of awkward that Twilight was expecting her, and had set up the library like this, “I was looking for you all over town, but ponies kept giving me weird looks.”
“Well, that’s what happens when you make a scene in Ponyville,” she said, slumping a bit.
“Actually Twilight,” she started, but didn’t want to ask any more about the event. The sooner she got this over, the better. With a tired sigh, she spoke, “Whatever. You said something about bucking around between Mac and I?”
“I wanted to clarify the relationship status between you and Big Macintosh,” she explained, “And it’s ‘Mac and 'me’.”
“Uhh, that’s what I said,” serious Twilight was something new to her, “Why do you want to know so badly?”
“For personal reasons,” she said as she slumped further down into her chair. And before Rainbow Dash could retort, she continued, “I just want to make sure that one of my best friends is having a good and healthy relationship.”
“But, do you really need to ask if I had hit second base with Big Macintosh?” she asked. She was beginning to fear that her suspicions were coming true.
“Baseball has nothing to do with this, Rainbow Dash,” the pegasus rolled her eyes, “And you should understand that sex plays a big part in the importance of having a healthy relationship with another pony. I’m just looking out for you, I swear.”
Rainbow Dash sighed, giving in, “Well, if you really want to know. It’s all true. Mac and I have been doing it for a while.”
That was surprisingly easy. Twilight didn’t expect the answer to come out so quickly. In fact, she seemed overly proud about it. But on Rainbow Dash’s end, it wasn’t the entire truth. They actually had been bucking around, just within the week. It might’ve been a bit hard to believe that the two of them had already advanced so far into their relationship, but she was known to be an impatient pony. Apparently, Twilight thought this too.
“Y-yes, but for how long?” she inquired as she straightened herself up in the chair. Owlowiscious seemed to be paying attention to something else in the room, his eyes scanning carefully.
She still wanted to go by what they told Applejack so that there wouldn’t be any conflicting information among her friends, “A week, like I said.”
“You say that, but I had just spoken to Rarity a while ago,” she said as Owlowiscious suddenly shifted in his perch, “And according to her, you have been ‘doing it’ with Macintosh for a little over a month now.”
Rainbow Dash was torn between planting a hoof to her face and chuckling off her assumptions. Why couldn’t she just leave her alone about her sex life? Not to mention, Twilight heard it from Applejack, and she heard it from Pinkie. Now she heard it from Rarity too? That was the word of two ponies against her. There wasn’t any way she could keep up the lies for too long.
Wait…something had just crossed her mind. Of the ponies that ‘heard’ it, one of them was a blabbermouth party pony, and she was hosting a party all about it. The other was a farmer that couldn’t tell a lie to save her life. And the third one was a fashionista that fed gossip like Fluttershy fed her animals.
She knew she forgot to tell Big Macintosh something before she left.
‘Oh horse apples!’
Her train of thought was interrupted as Owlowiscious suddenly bolted from the chair to across the room. From where he landed, there was a slight struggle and squeaking noises before it stopped and Owlowiscious calmly flew back to the chair. This time, the owl returned with a mouse trapped in its beak, still alive.
“Uhh, Twilight?” Rainbow Dash pointed out, “Your bird’s feeding.”
“Ignore him. He keeps my library clean of pests this way,” Twilight said as Owlowiscious began to ‘leap’ the prey into his beak, “So, we’re going to settle this now. How long have you really been dating Macintosh?”
Rainbow Dash was about to repeat her previous answer, but the owl hacking loudly cut her off. She tried to speak again, but the owl kept making noise as he ate. Every time she tried to lie, the feeding noise interrupted her, and Rainbow Dash found it harder to confidently tell her answer. Twilight staring her down didn’t help either.
“It’s been…-” Squeak! “…uhh, been only-” Gack! Gack! “…only about-” Ach! “…about a-” Squish! “Alright! It really has been a few months!”
And like that, Owlowiscious ceased the noise and quietly slurped the mouse into his throat, gulping silently.
“See, was that so hard?” Twilight taunted as she patted Owlowiscious’ head.
After the terror show passed, the pegasus calmed down, impressed, “Wow Twilight, how’d you teach him to do that?”
“Oh, I didn’t teach him anything. Eggheads just synch well together, is all,” she said as she magically floated a napkin to the owl, who took it in a talon and dabbed his beak with it, “Now, why’d you have to go and lie to everypony about you and Big Macintosh? Is there something you’re ashamed of?”
“What? Why would I be ashamed of dating Mac?” she said defensively, “You know what I think? I think you’re jelly!”
Both Owlowiscious and Twilight stared at her, confused, “What?”
“Uhh, I mean, jealous,” she clarified, but then regained her stance, “Jealous of Mac and I.”
Twilight didn’t respond well, “What? What makes you think I’m jealous of you? And it’s Mac and ‘me’ for grammar’s sake!”
“Exactly,” she said slyly, “I didn’t say you were jealous of just I.”
Twilight tensed in her seat as Owlowiscious turned to her. She had slipped up. She was exposed.
“Is that why you made such a big deal about it back in town?” now it was her turn to be upset, “You embarrassed me in front of the town because you were jealous?”
“N-No! That’s not it!” she defended, as Owlowiscious suddenly became alert, “I was just a little suspicious.”
“What do you have to be suspicious of?” the pegasus asked.
“W-Well, the thing is,” she started nervously as Owlowiscious eyed the door, “I guess I just…didn’t expect you to be into Macintosh like that.”
Rainbow Dash smirked, “For real? Twilight, have you seen that stallion?”
“I have, and it confused me a bit,” Twilight explained, “I mean, I always thought you were into one type of pony.”
“Like what? Winged ponies? Like any one type would keep me satisfied for long,” Rainbow Dash said confidently, “I thought you knew me better than that.”
“No, that’s not what I meant,” she continued, “I mean, the thing is. I’ve heard things from the other ponies in town…about you…”
“Huh? Like what?” Rainbow Dash asked as she cocked her head.
Before Twilight started, the door of the library busted open, flooding the dark room with light. Both Twilight and Rainbow Dash shrieked and covered their eyes while Owlowiscious had time to close his eyes and look away. From the light of day outside walked in Rarity, her steps hasty as she held a bag with her magic.
“Oh! Look who it is! It’s Twilight and my good, dear, straight friend Rainbow Dash!” Rarity quickly said as she speed walked towards a blind Twilight, “Twilight, dear, please open your eyes and marvel at this smoke colored fedora that you were looking for! I was looking through the storage when you said you wanted something mysterious and noiresque and I didn’t have any but I had the mind to check and I found it and I thought I should bring it over in case you still needed it ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Hahhhh…”
When both ponies recovered their eyesight, Twilight merely glared at the unicorn while Rainbow Dash jeered.
“Who’re you calling deers?” she asked. The sound of a hoof hitting its owner’s face echoed in Rarity’s mind.
“Well, thank you, Rarity, but it’s kind of late now…” the purple unicorn said as Owlowiscious fluttered to the other armchair near Rarity.
“Well, I still thought you should know that I actually did have one in stock, so I came by to deliver it to you,” she said as she placed the hat on top of the owl’s head. Rarity then took a moment to observe the room; closed curtains, single candle, intimidating rotating chair. She seemed to have wanted to make somepony uncomfortable, “Wha…what were you and Rainbow Dash talking about?”
“Oh, something about suspicions and ponies in town,” Rainbow Dash said, “So, what am I suspicious of again?”
“Oh,” Twilight started, “Being a fi-”
“Feathers!” Rarity loudly intervened. When both ponies looked at her, Rarity nervously continued, “Uhh, I mean, Rainbow Dash, you need to get your feathers preened!”
“What for?” she said, looking at her pair of wings and opening them to inspect them.
“For…the…” her mind searched for an excuse until she remembered what Pinkie Pie had said, “Your party! Pinkie Pie’s hosting your party to congratulate you coming out…WITH BIG MACINTOSH, I mean.”
Twilight found her behavior weird, but Rainbow Dash seemed enlightened by this, “Oh, that. I already know that. She’s actually hosting it at Sweet Apple Acres, so, I don’t need to look all fancy.”
“B-but you do! Because…” and once again, Rarity found another excuse in her mind and managed to speak calmly, “Because, you’re dating not just any farmer, but Big Macintosh is an Apple Pony. And you want to look good for the family members, don’t you?”
“That’s true,” the pegasus said as she tapped her chin, “But don’t the others live far away? The party is only tonight. I don’t think it’ll be that big of a family party.”
“Nonsense. You still need to look your best for tonight’s party,” Rarity said as, third time and counting, another excuse popped into her head, “In fact, let’s go get you fixed up!”
Rarity began to push her out of the library as Rainbow Dash looked back to her, confused, “Wha, where? The spa?”
“Yes, I mean, no!” the white unicorn remembered that most of her other associates not named Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy frequented the spa, “I mean, we’ll freshen up at my place. After all, you need to look your best for tonight, after all.”
“Oh, uhh, okay. We’ll talk later Twilight,” the pegasus said as she and Rarity left the library.
Watching them go, Twilight thought back to what she learned from the interrogation, which was very little. It did confirm her suspicions that she might have something to hide, hence the lie about it being a week. But she needed more information. And she wouldn’t get another chance at it today before the party. She would need help.
Idly looking to her pet owl, she remembered that there was still that private meeting later today. A plan was forming in Twilight’s head. And Owlowiscious was going to need more than a fedora.
---
Oh goodness, ponies are planning and plotting...
---
Silence.
The filly tapped her chin in thought with the tip of an eraser. She was searching her mind for a list of things she and her friends had done and wrote them down. This way, it’d be easier to remember when they were repeating something they had already done before.
The leaves outside rustled from the wind, although one could make out the faint sound of hoofsteps.
She wrote down another activity that she and her friends had done, although one of them sat it out. To clarify who had done what, she filled in a dot next to the activity name with a crayon, yellow, orange, and or white. This way, they’d know who’d done what and who should try what.
In the distance, a filly’s rapid breathing could be heard. Not much farther now.
At last, she had finished the list and hung it on the wall. Satisfied with her work, she looked back to her flank, only to find that it was still blank. With a disappointed sigh, she picked up the pencil again and wrote on the paper one more activity: list making. She filled in a yellow circle at the end just to punctuate her failure.
At last, Sweetie Belle made it.
“Girls! Girls!” she shouted loudly as she hammered the wooden floor with her hooves.
“What is it?” Apple Bloom said.
“You’re not going to believe this!!” the unicorn filly said as she scanned the room for the winged member of their group, “Where’s Scootaloo?”
“Up here,” a tired voice called, followed by the sound of something hitting the floor upstairs. Steps were heard until an orange and purple pegasus filly was seen descending down the stairs of the clubhouse. As she dropped to the floor, she yawned, “What is it…?”
Sweetie Belle had just regained her breathe, “Ok, so I was in the classroom during lunch with Ms Cheerilee and-”
“Wait, shouldn’t you still be in detention?” Apple Bloom pointed out.
“Oh, Cheerilee let me off,” she answered, “Anyway, and then-”
“Wait, she didn’t punish you?” Scootaloo interrupted, “Wow, Cheerilee’s going soft.”
“Maybe she is, but that’s not what I’m trying to say,” the unicorn filly continued, “Ruby’s mom came into the room to tell her about some terrible news.”
“Terrible news? What is it?” Apple Bloom asked, worried.
Sweetie Belle sighed again, annoyed, “Dreadful information of occurrences that are recent and or relevant to those hearing or reading it and the very knowledge of which causes disdain in an individual or individuals. But that’s not important right now.”
Both fillies shared a look of quaint confusion, then shrugged and looked back to the dictionary.
“So, what did she say to her?” Scootaloo prodded.
The filly took a moment to calmly deliver the news. Her two friends would be the most affected by such astounding turn of events so she had to be as clear as possible.
She took a deep breathe, “Big Macintosh…is dating Rainbow Dash!”
Both fillies looked at each other as they processed this information in their heads.
Then simultaneously began laughing.
“Are you, you’re joking, right?” Scootaloo said as she wiped a tear from her eye, “There’s no way in the skies Rainbow Dash would be dating anypony, especially Apple Bloom’s brother.”
“Yeah!” Apple Bloom agreed, “Big Mac’s too shy to be datin’ somepony as loud as Rainbow Dash.”
Sweetie Belle watched in disdain as the two fillies calmed down, “But, Ruby’s mom said so and-”
“Wait, isn’t she the tipsy pony? The one that always smells funny?” Scootaloo asked.
“You mean Berry Punch?” Apple Bloom asked, “She comes by the farm every once in a while askin’ for Applejack.”
“Uhh, yeah, her,” Sweetie Belle confirmed.
“And you believe her?” the pegasus filly spoke, “She makes Ditzy Doo look like a ballerina dancer, and I know dancing when I see it.”
“But, Cheerilee believed her,” she defended, “She even said she would ask Big Macintosh himself about it.”
“Oh yeah?” Scootaloo turned to Apple Bloom, “Where is your brother, anyway?”
“Oh. He an’ Rainbow Dash are supposed t’be bringin’ down the –”
“Wait, did you say he and Rainbow Dash?!” both fillies exclaimed.
“Oh yeah, Ah forgot to mention,” Apple Bloom blushed, “He and Rainbow Dash have been workin’ on the farm together for the past week.”
Scootaloo held her mouth agape while Sweetie Belle realized it was very likely to have been a true rumor.
“…Ah didn’t think it was important,” she said before Scootaloo could accuse her of anything.
“So…while we’ve been in this clubhouse for the past week, trying to get our cutie marks, Rainbow Dash, the rainbow colored pegasus, has been at your farm helping out with chores?!” Scootaloo exclaimed.
“Uhhh, yeah?” she buried herself in her shoulders.
“I can’t even-!” Scootaloo shouted as she held her head in her hooves, “All that time we spent failing to get our cutie marks, we could’ve been hanging out with Rainbow Dash!”
“Hey!” Apple Bloom retorted.
“Oh, and Big Macintosh too, I guess.”
“That’s not what Ah meant,” Apple Bloom continued, “You think hanging out with us is a waste o’ time?”
Scootaloo blinked, “What? No! I said failing to get our cutie marks, which is all we do all the time.”
“But you think hangin’ out with Rainbow Dash is more important to us than gettin’ our cutie marks?”
“Well, yeahhh!” she dared to answer, “She’s just that cool!”
“So you’d rather hang out with her than with us?” Apple Bloom continued to prod.
“Ugh. No! I said we!” Scootaloo shot back, “Next time, listen a little more carefully!”
“Oh, Ah’m sorry. Ah just thought that what we do together as friends was important to you, but apparently it isn’t,” she said as she turned away from the flyer, more like nonflyer.
“Don’t get difficult with me,” Scootaloo said as she pointed a hoof at her, “I still have a life outside of this cutie mark hunting business you founded. I still have ponies that I admire and want to be because cutie marks aren’t the only things I think about!”
“Nuh uh! Ah have business outside o’ the Cutie Mark Crusaders too!” Apple Bloom defended, “Like, uhh, Zap Apple Season! And, um, family reunions!”
“Those aren’t things you can choose! You go to them because you have nothing better to do!”
“Are you claimin’ that hangin’ out with us isn’t as good as spendin’ time wit’ family?!” Apple Bloom said with her forehead outward.
“Will you stop twisting my words around like that?!” Scootaloo shouted.
“GIRLS!”
Both ponies stopped arguing and looked to Sweetie Belle, who was seething and slightly red in the face.
“Can we please…focus on something a little more important than arguing?” she said through tired breaths, “Cheerilee’s coming by to ask Big Macintosh about them dating. Do you know what this means?”
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo looked at each other, lost to Sweetie Belle, “Uhh,” “No…?”
“Rarity talks about it all the time,” Sweetie Belle started, “The exfillyfriend learns that her excoltfriend is going out with another mare and then she’ll start developing old feelings for him. Cheerilee is going to try and take Big Macintosh back!”
And once again, both fillies were confused.
“Wait, they went out? Cheerilee and Big Mac?” Scootaloo asked.
“It didn’t look like it from what Ah saw,” Apple Bloom agreed.
“It doesn’t matter. Somepony’s always gonna be jealous of the new fillyfriend and the exfillyfriend is going to try and break them up so that she can have him again,” Sweetie Belle stressed the situation, “And if we don’t stop her, she’ll make two ponies unhappy!”
“Do you think Cheerilee would do such a thing?” Apple Bloom pondered.
“Well, we have to invent…invesetate…visigate,” Scootaloo tried to say.
Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes, “Investigate.”
“Yeah that!” she continued, “We’re going to investigate Miss Cheerilee and find out what she’s up to before she can hurt anypony!”
“Yes! That’s what I’m talking about!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed.
“Well, alright. But let’s not take this too far like we did with the floor buffer,” Apple Bloom said.
The three fillies all leapt together and clapped their hooves.
“Cutie Mark Crusader Relationship Rescuers! Yay!”
---
There they go again. Some form of catastrophe is guaranteed now...
---
Ever since she came back to her cottage, Fluttershy had been silently bemoaning her loss. The curtains were half closed, letting in little light, and the animals around her were silent, careful not to upset the pony any further. She lay in the middle of the living room, feeling lifeless, as she sobbed her woes away.
Big Macintosh and Rainbow Dash were dating each other. There was nothing she could do about it.
Hopping in from the kitchen, the mature bunny Angel toted a bowl of sliced cucumbers and presented them to her. While Fluttershy never questioned how he could hold and use a knife, much less fear that he could, she weakly took a hoofful and stuffed her mouth in depression.
“Oh, Angel,” she said with a stuffed mouth before swallowing, “Why didn’t I do anything? Why didn’t I say anything?”
Angel crossed his arms as Fluttershy continued to eat.
“But Angel, you know I don’t have the courage.”
Angel shook his head and held a paw over his heart.
“Yes, I really do love…” she wasn’t able to finish as tears welled up in her eyes again. She grabbed another hoofful of cucumber slices and messily stuffed them into her mouth.
The bunny forcefully grabbed a lock of her hair and pulled. He wanted her full attention. He made some gestures with his arms that Fluttershy seemed to understand.
She sniffed, “But, what’s the point? If I can’t tell my crush how I really feel…”
Angel interrupted. He made more gestures, some dramatic while others not even other bunnies would have understood.
Fluttershy rubbed her swollen eyes before coming to fully comprehend her pet slash friend, “You mean, I can still say how I really feel, even though they’re already a couple? Because what really matters is that I’ll have closure and I won’t have to live the rest of my life not knowing how my crush really feels about me? And that I should stop being afraid of rejection just because they’re taken, especially because I have nothing left to lose because my friends will understand me? Like, even if I am sad to know this, I shouldn’t be selfish and wallow in pity and just let my crush know how I really feel?”
Angel nodded.
Fluttershy wiped her dirty face and stood up. She looked down and decided to finish the rest of the bowl in one gulp, leaving it Angel without any to himself. As she abandoned the bowl in the room and left to the bathroom to wash up, Angel looked into the bowl, hoping for even a piece of cucumber leftover for him. Fluttershy returned shortly after, eyes still somewhat red, as she had a newfound look of determination of her face.
“Thanks Angel,” she sniffed, “What would I do without you?”
Angel smugly rubbed his knuckles onto his chest in response.
“Well, I have to go, now. I’m not going to wallow in here anymore,” she opened all of the curtains, allowing light to fill the room again. With that done, the animals peeked out of their hiding spots as Fluttershy walked to the door, “I’m going to confess my feelings to Rainbow Dash!”
And like that, the pegasus bolted out the door, leaving a proud and somewhat worried bunny behind.
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943485 *Puts glasses on* Oh now I can see what that text says!
949988
929chan.us/kusaba/b/src/130982491650.png
Hell has no fury like a Jealous mare...or Twilight out to get info.
Fluttershy walked to the door, “I’m going to confess my feelings to Rainbow Dash!”
...
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
TAKE THAT EVERYONE WHO THOUGHT FLUTTERMAC!
This just gets better!
oh dear... mayor pileup of troubles coming your way
& 
932405
Well it's not just about his size and health and such, as these are more sentient ponies, he has other qualities to take into account. And not many straight girls will turn down a guy who's handsome, extremely helpful, hard working, modest, caring and borderline mute.
“I’m going to confess my feelings to Rainbow Dash!” That freaked me out. Fu...
“I’m going to confess my feelings to Rainbow Dash!”
This is gonna be great!
fffff- I saw that ending coming
ARGH! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!
I thought Twilight was supposed to be smart, but she keeps... erm, incorrecting Dashie on her sentence structure. *Sighs* Sorry, had to get that off my chest. 'Course, I'm probably wrong about the whole sentence structure thing, but if I'm not I assume that this Twilight's not remotely as intelligent as she thinks she is. *Browses* And she didn't correct Dashie when she actually needed to be corrected...
So... her disgusted "How could you" at the start was less "How could you steel(Steal? I always forget) the stalion I love" and more akin to "How dare you be in a relationship with someone when I love you even though I've never made an effort to alert anyone of this fact"? Wow. Creepy Fluttershy. CUTIE MARK ULTIMATE HAVOC-WREAKING HELLSPAWN YAY! When will they learn?
Don't get me wrong, it's a great story but I'm a lesser grammar nazi and the brother of a grammar nazi so I personally go berserk when others mis-correct the "Someone and I/me" thing. Once again, I could easily be wrong or Twilight could be a overconfident fool in this story. The latter seems likely considering her actions up 'till now.
Might be a typo: “Hmm. Maybe. Ah did lick her once,” Rainbow Dash stared, “Discord made me do it.” Based on the lines before and after that, should this line have been spoken by Macintosh?
Thumbs up, totally favorited, and hoping for an epilogue! Or five.
Wait what? Ha,ha, Fluttershy, not what I expected, what a twist!
Fluttershy AND Twilight love Rainbow Dash?!?!?
mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw415_130712657799.jpg
Saw that ending. Keep it up sir!
U jelly? dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_rainbowkiss_flip.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/discord.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Octavia.png
1017387
I'm quite certain that it's just Fluttershy.
Twilight's just being Twilight: Thinking of unquantifiable things such as Love as a fomula and is trying to figure out how an oddity like RD and Big Mac can be. At least, at first it seemed that way. Now it seems as though she's concerned about whether or not RD and Mac are just in it for the sex.
haha oh fluttershy
>“Well, ain’t that nice o’ ya’ll,” she handed him a leftover apple dumpling, “Care for a bite?”
May the gods of the southern dialect have mercy on your soul.
1015862 Someone's gotta provide it.
1015892 Twilight doesn't stop until she's learned everything.
1015926 1015976 1016028 1016200 1016955 1017881 1021004
I figured some of my readers wouldn't know how to take this. It could just be the aversion to Fluttermac that caught y'all off guard. (better Bronius Maximus?)
1015935 1015953 1015994 1016048 Things will only get crazy. It isn't titled Big Macintosh and Rainbow Dash are Dating and Everypony Freaks Out for nothing.
1015953 Frankly, I can see Big Mac with all of the Mane 6 minus Applejack, because of how easy it is to write his personality to visualize a trait. However, I pair him with Rainbow Dash for reasons that I believe are better. Not to undermine other ships, I just get behind MacDash better.
1016390 Looking at that link now, I feel embarrassed to make that novice mistake.
I'll fix it soon, but I wouldn't condone giving out writing advice when you can't figure out which 'steal/steel' is the proper spelling. No offense. 
1016391 That's a tendency of mine. I get tired of going he/she/they said/pronounced/stated/explained in every line, so I try to mix it up. I input reactions of other characters while the character is talking to mix it up, and to maximize comedy. Her face when he said that,
I giggle imagining it.
1020469 She's doing both. One assumption led to her motive, but she's still going strong.
1022112 I think they'll forgive the long lost descendant of Tonatiuhl and Ix Chen, but I'll fix it soon.
Thanks to everyone for reading so far. I'll probably update Sunday. Probably. And when I say probably, I mean 'try to write and beta read everything so that I can'. That second Probably sounds weird now.
Keep writing.
That Airplane reference, I got it.
Great story
Is this fanfic dead?
This well be me ( WHY YOU GUYS GO OVER CARZY OVER FOR LOVE OR DATING FOR THE LOVE OF CELESTIA. LAEVEN THEM ALONE. AND YOU TWI WHAT FRD GO AROUD CARZY TO FIND OUT WHAT MAKE THEM SO IN LOVE FOR THE LOVE OF LUNA!!! )
so that what i'll say.
did not see that comin..........
That was unexpected...
sweetie belle thought berry punch was turning into a fruit LMAFO :rainbow laugh: poor sweetie belle she's like a blond cute and naive :face hoof: jk
A certain filly tapping her chin with an eraser while contemplating a list she's marked off with... white crayon? White crayon on paper?
Errr... was that an intentional error?