Spring Water
A furious streak of red ran across Mineral’s face, his mind frustrated and embarrassed. Despite work being Mineral’s focus, Nebula’s picture had to remind him of the night before. “I can’t believe you fell asleep on the grass with Sugar,” Nebula jabbed, following up with a few giggles. The mare in the picture had her lance stabbed in the ground and leaned up against it to eye the stallion with interest.
“I was tired,” Mineral grumbled. “I wasn’t expecting to help Sugar all day yesterday, let alone go on a long date and enjoy pizza and hay burgers.” A bottle levitated above a funnel, depositing the completed body wash into the siphon to transfer the fluid to another bottle. All that remained was a few drips. Mineral never liked wasting a single drop, never giving his customers any less than they ordered.
“At least Sugar was kind enough to wake you up and lead you inside.”
Mineral’s patience was wearing thin, especially because of how he had to sit and wait for the remaining soap to finish dripping. “It was still embarrassing that I did.”
Nebula wiggled her brows, “But I know you enjoyed holding her from behind.”
“Could you not!” Mineral exclaimed. The picture roared with laughter, shaking the frame to the point that it fell face first. “Umm… can you prop me up again?”
It was Mineral’s turn to laugh; just not as hysterical as Nebula’s outburst. “Serves you right,” he grinned. After waiting for another drop to fall from the bottle for a quiet minute, Mineral was convinced no more soap would dispense and placed the plastic container down. “I think it is time for a lunch break.”
The stallion removed his safety goggles and hung up his lab coat before walking to the sink to wash his hooves. As he walked up the stairs, Mineral pondered his next step for his Crystal Coat orders. “All I need to do is transfer the completed product into the appropriate bottles and they will be ready for shipping. I just need to go to the post office and get some stamps and boxes.”
When he entered the hallway, Mineral was shocked to see the orange glow of the late afternoon hours light up his home. “It’s this late already!?”
As he approached the kitchen, Nebula’s picture spoke to him, “You know, you should start setting your timer that… was given to you a while ago.”
“I know who gave it to me,” Mineral said under his breath. “I’ll try and remember.”
“Don’t try. Do.”
Mineral Water never had any use for his timer Nebula got him since she was no longer around. And because of Sugar Crush being the reminder that he has a friend, Mineral kept the door to his basement propped open in case she came knocking.
He walked over to the fridge and scanned over the near-empty shelves. Thanks to Sugar, Mineral was very conscious of his friend. But that did not mean he was suddenly a new pony. There were things he still needed to not neglect, his fridge and stomach included.
“Guess I will be ordering take-out again.” Mineral took a sheet of paper and pencil from his cubby drawer and began to write down his late to-do list. “Let’s see…”
- Get something simple to eat
- Get some groceries
- Go to post office and get boxes
Mineral stopped at his fourth line, not sure why he chose to write down a “4” in the first place. Was there anything he was neglecting? It certainly was not Sugar Crush. He wondered if he could stop by and see how she is doing. Maybe even apologize to Sugar for falling asleep while he was practically mounted on her.
4. See Sugar Crush
“What else?” Mineral pondered, chewing on the pencil eraser. There weren’t any other friends who were close to him anymore. They were lost after she blamed him for Nebula’s loss.
But there were two ponies who Mineral Water hadn’t seen in a few months. And Mineral knew she would never reject him, no matter how many times he messed up.
Mineral crumpled the list up and started a new one.
- Go see Mom and Dad.
***
“Mineral Water!” Spring Water exclaimed as she grabbed her son with her magic and yanked him into her arms.
Her hooves drove Mineral into an uncomfortable shiver as Spring rubbed his back. “M-Mom! You know I don’t like it when you do that!”
“Oop! Sorry!” Regardless of being bothered by her motherly affection, Mineral was always delighted to see his mom. Her light-purple body winked a few sparkles as she gestured her son into the house. “Come in! Come in!” Spring lead the way into the brightly lit living room. The area had a wooden floor that arched around a carpeted space with a step to get down to the soft flooring. A long, brown couch rested against the ruby walls with a brass lamp flanking each side of the extended chair. Hung up on the wall above the couch was a wonderful painting of Princess Amore, the old and previous ruler of the Crystal Empire.
“Where is Dad?” Mineral asked as he stepped into the common room and sat on the couch alongside Spring.
“Your father is out for the week,” Spring answered as she swiped at a long strand of her purple mane. Mineral was surprised to see how long his mom allowed her mane to get, but it still looked lovely. “He is in Manehattan proposing his new line of lotion. It is a cream that helps remove nasty spots that pimples can create.”
Pride flared inside Mineral, prideful for his father. “It comes to no surprise that Dad had created something like that.”
“Indeed,” Spring nodded. The dull ticking of a grandfather clock across the room clicked, as Spring and Mineral’s talk went on sudden intermission. Mineral was not sure how to begin discussing his eventful two weeks. The simple subject matter was Sugar Crush, but mares are a much more complex topic. And Sugar was no exception.
“I am glad you came over to see me, Mineral.” Spring leaned over to kiss Mineral on the cheek and rubbed his shoulder. “It does get quiet when nopony is around.”
“Sometimes I wonder how you do it; able to have the house to yourself without Dad.”
Spring shrugged, “He only travels when necessary.”
Another short conversation came and went. Mineral wanted to tell Spring the news about Sugar. But he wanted to give his mother all the attention he could give. Mineral knew his mom meant everything to him, and vice versa. He just felt like he had to apologize. Mineral opened his mouth, but his throat tightened. Part of his mind betrayed him and began insulting the stallion for neglecting his own mother. His heart, being afflicted with deep wounds, still managed to open up Mineral’s voice box. “I’m sorry I haven’t been over for so long,” he said, his voice cracking.
Spring Water scooted over to Mineral Water and leaned her head onto his shoulder. “Aww, it’s okay. You and your dad are both hard workers. I understand business can interfere.”
Mineral was never afraid to allow Spring to be a mom and let her warmth heal his sadness. “I just want to be more conscious of other things besides my career.” He was aware his mom didn’t know about Sugar Crush, but the stallion did struggle the day before when it came to him choosing his friend over work.
“Are you not eating well?” Spring asked. Mineral’s stomach growled in protest as well as answering the mare’s question. Even his organs made a conscious effort to signal distress.
“I guess that answers your question.”
Being the mother that she was, Spring gave a wide stare and rose her brows. The piercing gaze folded Mineral’s ears into submission. “Son,” she began, “I know you have a challenge with managing yourself. But you need to eat. And not just eat simple take-out meals.”
Like a shameful colt, Mineral said, “I know,” despite him not doing. “I just need something to balance me between work and everything else.” To show that he was making a change for the better, Mineral chose to tell his mom the news. “I’ve been able to make a friend, so I have been trying to adjust myself.”
Spring sprung up with delight. “That’s wonderful!”
Mineral was glad she no longer bore the upset stare of death, and he managed to look Spring in the eye. “She is quite the friend,” he nodded.
“Ooooohhhhh,” Spring sang while leaning into her son. “So it’s a mare.”
“You don’t have to get up and personal, Mom.” Mineral felt that her motherly affection was evolving into a very in-his-face approach. He inched away to gain some distance with the eager parent.
“Her name, please!” It came out as a polite suggestion, but Mineral knew it was a demand.
“Sugar Crush.”
Instead of getting overly excited like the time Mineral told Spring he became friends with Nebula, the mom straightened herself, more composed than moments ago. “How has your relationship been?”
“We had a date yesterday.” Seeing Spring’s eyes widen made the son feel proud his mother looked at him with such joy. “And it went very well.”
“Mind telling me how you two met?”
***
A hot plate of fettuccine alfredo steamed wonderful fumes into Mineral’s nose, his mouth instantly salivating from the sight and smell his mother’s home cooking. Mixed within the meal were spinach and a few flakes of green onions and basil. He wondered if he himself could begin a regular cooking schedule so his stomach can get what it requires.
Spring finally took a seat beside her son with a smile. A small chandelier dangled above the little dinner table, lighting up the dining room in a bright-yellow light alongside the fading orange that the sun presented during the last afternoon hour.
“I hope you enjoy my simple dinner,” Spring smiled as she levitated the fork and stabbed it into the soft pasta.
“I know I will,” Mineral said earnestly. He took his utensil and made sure to get an even amount of noodles and spinach leaves. One long blow was all it took to cool down the bundle of tortellini to a moderate temperature. His teeth crunched down on a sliver of green onion, adding the expected sharp flavor to the alfredo sauce. The flakes of basal that had been mixed in the meal added the taste of a mom’s home-cooked meal.
“It tastes wonderful, Mom,” Mineral smiled, the flavor being the thing to make him grin. “Thank you for offering me dinner.”
“And thank you for helping me make it,” Spring added after swallowing. “It was fun making dinner and talking with you about your friend.”
During their dinner preparation, Mineral told his mother everything about Sugar and those involved because of the thestral. From the moment they met, to how he couldn’t help but lament in front of Sugar because of Nebula, to the last details of his date with the thestral. Mineral didn’t hide anything from Spring. He trusted his mother with everything he could ever bare.
“Is there anything specific you want to know about Sugar?” Mineral asked. He made sure to have his next bite a little bulkier to keep himself from talking.
“Hmm…” Spring licked up a noodle that stuck out from her lips while in thought. Thanks to the food, it took a lot longer for a response to come forward. “Not really. I do hope that Sugar gets recognized for her success of her Mineral Milk Cookie, which by the way, was very sweet of her to be inspired by you.”
Mineral shook his head, “For some reason, Sugar doesn’t want to be interviewed by Morganite for her magazine.”
“How come?”
The stallion gave his meal a hard poke, the fork clanking on the glass plate. “I don’t know. And for some reason, it drives me crazy that she doesn’t want to advertise her cookies.” Mineral twirled the fork as it screeched a little. “Why is that, Mom?”
Spring brought her forkful of food to her mouth without answering the question. But that didn’t bother the son because he knew the answer would come forward eventually. And it did. “You want her success to be known. But my guess to why she refused is… well…” She sloppily scooped up some noodles. “I don’t know, honestly.”
As Spring slurped on her food, Mineral tapped his fork on the plate. “I just want Sugar to be successful. And I want her to know I am proud of her line of cookies. I mean, as a pony who sells products for a living, I love seeing a unique product explode with profit.”
A levitating fork flicked upwards, signaling Mineral to look to his mother. “Even though she might not want to be advertised in a magazine, I am sure Sugar would appreciate her friend being proud of her.”
“And I am proud of her.”
“And you love her, too.” Thankfully, Mineral had nothing in his mouth. Otherwise, he would have choked and died.
“You say it without hesitation…” The stallion flushed as he looked at his plate “But yes, I do.”
“Then why don’t you show Sugar just how proud you are of her.”
“You think I can do that?”
“Of course.”
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It sure was nice to meet Mineral's mother, Spring Water.
Fero, I don't know if I can find the words, but I'll try to in my tired mindset. First off, why, why do you get me hooked on these stories. I typically read only a few romance stories every so often, and I've read three romance tales back to back. How did you manage this feat?
I don't know if I've said it before, but I'll say it again if I have, you write amazing romance stories. For me, your dialogue feels very natural in most of what I've read in this story and in the two others I've read. In fact, I think Mineral Water has the best retorts when he meets Sugar Crush at the door. Also, I loved the note with the cookies in the seconds chapter, at least I think it was that one, or the first one. When he read the, "Look Up," on the note, I was laughing my ass off. Sugar's failed attempts to hug Mineral are very hilarious and, for some reason, I find them way better than Vapor's failed lover confessions.
I think you've nailed the pacing down with this story aside from a few moments. Personally, I felt Mineral giving in right away to being friends might have been a little rushed, but then again, I'd probably do the same in this world so take that advice how you will.
Now, Mineral's conversation with Nebula's picture. These conversations are awesome. They convey so much in just a few paragraphs that I look forward to each little conversation they have. You give just the right amount of time with these, not to much, and not to little.
Surprisingly enough, both this story, and Seconds Late, would be in my top two positions if I ranked the three stories I've currently read from you. You're original characters are really well built, in fact, I've been inspired several times by your characters to take a look at my own and try to fix them up a bit more because I forget just how far I can dive into a character and their personality. I only wish I could weave the same kind of pacing you have between characters.
You know how to build up the relationships between them at a nice fair pace. This is evident in all three stories I've read. You've shown that you can plan a story and pick up two characters from any point in their relationship and just make it work. I have to admit, I'm a little jealous of that.
If I could pull out every part I liked, I would have a much longer comment, but just know that there are a lot of moments that I have enjoyed. I think your banter between characters is just stellar this time around.
I don't know why, but when Sugar Crushes cookie sale was going on, I kept thinking you were going to have Vapor and Sky show up, or Alto and Harp Hearts as a little nod to your other stories. I'd give your story another up vote, if I could, if I ever saw you do that in a story.
If you keep entertaining me the way you have with this story, I'll more than likely add it to my favorites. I really hope this ends with a happy ending!
You keep leaving me with more questions. Like who is this mysterious she, and why is Nebula trapped in the pictures?
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It's to keep you wondering what else is there to the narration. And to make the reader press forward. As all of my stories, this one is to test out how well I can leave questions hanging from the tree and answer them properly. I do hope that the many questions don't frustrate you or other readers too much. D:
8676470
Thanks again for an awesome comment like that. It really does help that there is good pacing in my story, and while the slightly rushed relationship seems to be the only flaw, also shows that I still need to be careful with writing; some details can ruin an entire story. I am glad I have captured your attention with another story of mine. I wonder how you would fare well against the Prince Caramel Series I have...
Nice going with this fic so far, really enjoying it :)
Wait, hold on one bloody minute, you're saying his have actual physical form? Picture frames don't just fall over for no reason, so how the heck did that work? Did he knock it over himself? What is happening here?
Fettuccine or tortellini, which is it?
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I noticed that, too. Levitation magic is so instinctive for unicorns that I just imagined him moving it subconsciously. Not that hard to picture, really. Pretty much how imagination works as a kid, too.
I just about choked on my kombucha at that last sentence.