Chapter 4: Hellraiser
A Nightmare in Ponyville
by Paleo Prints
Chapter 4: Hellraiser
“‘S-s-scuse me! Comin’ t-t-hrough!”
The terrified crowds of Ponyville leapt out of the way as a bundle of nerves, mass, and momentum galloped through the early morning streets. Snips bounded over cobblestones with a panicked air and the rapid breath of a conscientious objector to physical education. He nearly collided with a baby carriage as he ungraciously slowed to a stop outside the Carousel Boutique.
“Miss Rarity!” Snips careully pushed open the front door despite his panic. The soft-spoken disapproval his employer gave him the last time was in the forefront of his mind. “Be gentle with delicate things,” she had said. Her slightly hurt look of disappointment stung worse than a tongue-lashing.
“I’m s-s-sorry I’m late. Had a bad night’s sleep. Let’s get to.. ”
Snails stopped as he took in the chaos that was the Carousel Boutique. The sewing machine table was scattered with bits, the treasured device’s pieces strewn around as if neglected in the middle of a job. Piles of fabrics lay tipped over on the sides of the room. In the middle of the mess, Rarity lay on a couch in the dark. The seamstress quietly stared at the walls for several seconds before visibly realizing Snips was here. Her coat was dotted with dirt. The entire room smelled vaguely of alcohol.
“Snips.” She smiled as she pushed herself onto her hooves. “Think nothing of it. I didn’t expect to get any work done today at any rate.”
Snips gaped at Rarity’s state. “Miss Rarity, you’re a m-m...”
Stop!, screamed his brain. Remember what she taught you about mares!
Snips swallowed, hours of his boss’ advice coming to the fore. “Um, Rarity? E-excuse me for s-saying,” he said before swallowing, “but the store’s a little cluttered.”
She giggled.
“M-maybe you’d want to freshen up before the customers get here? I c-could clean up while you do.”
Rarity petted Snips gingerly down his mane. “My word, you’ve become such a pleasant young stallion. You behave like a true gentlecolt, Snips.”
The teen shivered speechlessly at the emotional mare’s touch. Idle daydreams of similar moments played in his head, but he found himself frozen now that the fantasies had become reality. All he could force out of his mouth was, “C-C-Celestia bless you please, M-Miss Rarity.”
She chuckled. “My friends should be by to pick me up any minute now. If you could only be a dear and make this place presentable for them, I’ll do the same for myself.” Rarity raised a hoof to his lips. “And you must never tell anyone of the horrors you witnessed here this morning.”
The two tailors shared a quiet laugh before Rarity moved toward her bedroom. Snips spent the next hour quietly tidying the workroom, self-consciously listening to the sound of Rarity in the shower. For a brief time the water noise stopped, and silence reigned except for the soft sounds of Rarity crying that he could barely make out. He whistled off-key to himself over her voice.
Rarity eventually reappeared. To the average stallion she would have passed for her stunning normal self. Snips had spent time almost every day for over a year with the older mare. He could still see the fraying edges as she sat down at her table and sipped a snifter of something strong smelling.
“Um. Is Sweetie Belle coming over today?”
Rarity cast a blank glance at the teen. “She’s not here. Today, I mean. She’ll be back. I’m certain of it.” She considered her glass momentarily before telekinetically emptying the half-full container into a potted plant. She smiled at Snips with genuine warmth.
“Snips, dear? Go home for the day. I don’t think I’ll get much work done, and I expect Twilight will be here soon with some research she’s helping me with. Go home to your family.”
Snips nodded slowly. “Um. Sure. Fine. If you need me back for anything I’ll c-come a-running.”
Rarity walked over to Snips and kissed him on the forehead. “You’re going to make some lucky filly very happy someday, young stallion. Now, hurry along.”
Snip’s brain was still trying to put a sentence together as the front door swung open, revealing the bloodshot eyes and off-kilter grin of Twilight Sparkle.
“Rarity! I found the right spells! Once the girls arrive we should... ” Twilight stopped and panted in place as she noticed Snips. He cast a nervous glance back at his boss.
“Head home, Snips. We have things to deal with.”
______
“But that’s not fair! Ah didn’t do anything!”
Applejack slammed her hoof into the Apple estate floor, making Apple Bloom jump as a crack sounded. Her older sister ignored the damaged board, keeping a level glare at the younger sibling.
“Ah expect you to stay home for today. As head o’ the household, that’s final. Get yer chores done, do some homework, and on no account go into town!”
Apple Bloom looked away from her sister’s intense gaze to throw a pleading look at Big Macintosh. He shrugged his shoulders. She bit her lip and turned back to Applejack.
“What did I do? Is it Snails?”
Applejack sighed. “Listen, it ain’t nothin’ you did. I gotta go check with Twilight and Rarity about somethin’. If I’m gettin’ scared for a heap of nothing, I’ll apologize. Just stay here for a few hours, no matter what happens.”
Her pronouncement over, Applejack nuzzled her sister and walked out of the house. Apple Bloom stared in shock as she disappeared down the road.
“Big Mac, I’m startin’ to worry. I got a bad feeling about this.”
“Eeyup.”
_____
While Apple Bloom’s thoughts turned to him, Snails slowly walked past piles of scrap metal behind a Ponyville cottage. He gingerly stepped over the salvage as he maneuvered through the town junkyard.
“Hey, Alula? You there?” Peeking his head around a dead candy machine revealed the town junkstallion’s daughter. A vanilla-coated pegasus girl was blinking arhythmically, using her mouth to steady the parts of a pointed and polished collection of scrap welded into the shape of a rocket. She pushed her safety goggles up as she turned to Snails. Bleary eyes stared back at him from an unsteady head.
“Hey. Snails. Could you hold this thing? I need you to put it in the thing.” She yawned. “It holds stuff.”
Snails sat down, looking at the quickly-fading young engineer with worry.
“Hey. I need your help.”
She nodded, leaning forward. Her eyes closed, but she jolted awake after a second. Alula bucked herself hard in the face with her right hoof.
“‘Kay. Always have time, Snails. I just have to finish this today.”
Snails regarded the sleek device that he had watched materialize over many years. Inside the open door a tiny costume astronaut helmet hung over a panel of levers and dials painstakingly cast from collected bits of odds and ends. He furrowed his brow as he saw the Alula was hammering pieces of steel to the side of the rocket in random patterns.
He sighed. “I need you to wake up, Alula. I need your brain to bounce things off.”
“Lemme guess. Apple Bloom not around? I don’t mind being your second choice, I guess. Been used to it for awhile now.” She nodded listlessly. “I’m up. Been up for a bit. Don’t feel like sleeping lately.”
“Listen, trouble’s coming. We have to make a plan.”
She yawned as she leaned against her rocket. “I know. I just gotta finish this soon.” She petted the rocket wistfully. “My escape craft.”
Snails watched her bite the edge of her hoof and sit upright. She trotted over to him.
“I know what’s coming for us, Snails. Grab me some coffee and help me finish this.” She picked up a hammer in her mouth and turned back to her gleaming metal dream.
He regarded her thoughtfully before turning to an improvised heat plate simmering away behind him. Dozens of used coffee bags lay discarded in front of it. “‘Kay. But we gotta talk about you. You ain’t never worked on a project while tired. You said that it was dangerous to... “
He turned at the sharp, metallic impact. Her hammer rested on the metal fin she was working on. There was no sign of Alula.
Snails stared at the hammer for a long time before leaving.
_____
Outside the Ponyville library, Cheerilee took a deep breath and stared at the closed door. Red placed a steadying hoof on her shoulder. She nodded, knocking on the door with as much determination as she could muster.
Why do I feel like a filly at a parent-teacher conference?
They both yelped as the door swung open to reveal Twilight Sparkle’s grin.
“Excellent! Almost everypony’s gathered for the ritual! Now all be have to do is bend reality a teensy bit!”
Red stepped away from the beaming sorceress. The normally mellow librarian was grinding her teeth hard enough to make gemstones. Twilight’s eyes were red and bloodshot. Red hadn’t seen her like this since she had to plan Cheerilee’s bachelorette party.
Behind her lay a library in ruins. Pinkie rolled through the chaotic stacks of books on skates, passing around trays of chocolate cupcakes laced with espresso beans. She braked by Twilight’s couch, offering her wares to Applejack while the farm pony tried her best to comfort Rarity. Rarity was wearing a self-described “very brave face,” occasionally bolstered by sips from a simmering mug of coffee.
Cheerilee stepped in front of the terrified Red. “So, I don’t see all of the girls,” she offered conversationally.
“We’ve had something of a morale emergency, so Fluttershy’s with Rainbow Dash.”
Cheerilee nodded. “That poor thing. I worry about Fluttershy whenever something like this happens.”
Twilight’s eyes looked anywhere but into Cheerilee’s. “Yeah. Heh, Fluttershy.”
____
A firm yellow hoof tapped on a fluffy bedroom floor. “Rainbow Dash, come out of that bed right now! Everypony is counting on us!”
Two shivering eyes stared back from the darkness. A cyan head gradually pulled itself into the light.
“C-come on, Shy. I’m sure Twilight has some awesome spell thingy. We’re, like, the back-up mares.”
In a heartbeat a stern yellow face was inches away from Dash’s own. In Fluttershy’s eyes, Rainbow saw the harsh gaze of her childhood flight instructor. For a brief second, Fluttershy’s visage softened as she smiled.
“Rainbow, I know you want to help your friends. I understand you’re scared.” Rainbow flinched as Fluttershy threw her head back and screamed. “Now get out from under that bed!”
The terrified pegasus shot out from under the bed in a prismatic rush. Shivering, she stood to attention in front of the now-beaming Fluttershy, who patted her gently on the head. “There, there.” She waited patiently for Rainbow Dash to speak,
“He... he took my wings, ‘Shy.”
Fluttershy nodded, aiming encouraging eyes at her friend.
“I... ” Dash hesitated. “Heck, I guess we better go knock his block off before he makes Rarity bald or something.”
Fluttershy nuzzled Dash’s cheek before walking to the door of the bedroom. Looking back towards Dash, she extended a hoof outwards.
“If somepony takes your flight, you go and make things right. Now, let me apologize to Cheerilee when we get there. I’m so dreadfully sorry I spent so long hiding under my bed, Dash.”
Rainbow nodded and wiped her eyes as she flew off.
___
Cheerilee nodded. “Has anyone tried to go to Canterlot and alert the Princess?”
Twilight shook her head. “Nope, nope, nope! If You-Know-Who is here, we can’t leave Ponyville undefended. We have everything we need to deal with the problem right here.”
Cheerilee cast a brief glance to Red as he wolfed down his third of Pinkie’s “Super Insomnia Homina-Homina Surprises.” His vibrations were noticeable. I must get that recipe for report card week. Turning back to Twilight, she scratched her mane. “But don’t you need to get the Elements of Harmony from her?”
Twilight pulled Cheerilee closer into the library while laughing. “‘Lee, that’s silly. Imagine if we had to run all the way to Canterlot when a threat appeared! The last time we needed them, we had to fight an army hoof-to-hoof. Following the days of EVENT CAKE APATHY, the Princess asked us to surreptitiously carry them around in-case some other villain got the idea of camping out the vault room.”
Cheerilee’s mind reeled. “What if you leave your saddlebags in a café or something? I feel guilty enough when I lose a student’s work.” Suddenly she gasped, covering her mouth while her eyes looked back and forth. “Not that that happens, mind you.”
“Don’t be silly,” Twilight said. “Saddlebags? ‘Lee, with what we do… ”
Twilight jumped into the air. Cheerilee covered her eyes as the gleeful wizardess started glowing brightly. As Twilight hovered for a moment, Cheerilee swore she saw some kind of incredibly fast spinning dance number. After a moment, Twilight floated gently to the ground, a large tiara already in place.
“… we don’t need saddlebags.”
___
Snips stirred his milkshake listlessly. He gingerly poked the gigantic basket of spicy hay fries he had finally obtained from Soda Jerk. The knowledge that he and Snails were the only occupants of the Cake Cafe during the normal teen lunch rush made his victory feel hollow. As Snails stared off into space, he feebly attempted conversation.
“Yeah, I spent the morning feeling like I was in the start of a letter to the editor. ‘Dear Playcolt, I never thought that it would happen to me, but the older mare I blah blah blah.’ You know, reading those things doesn’t really prepare you for when the real thing happens.”
Snails’s unchanging gaze continued to rest on something non-existent as he nodded periodically to his friend’s comments.
Snips sighed. “This is a rewarding interaction,” he said as he threw a quarter bucket of hay fries into his mouth.
Seconds later he nearly choked on his hard-won bounty as a breathless Apple Bloom ran into the diner. She skid along the floor as she galloped towards her friends. Panting, she lifted herself onto the seat and leaned onto Snails’ shoulder. He blinked, smiling as his consciousness slowly regained its interface with reality.
“We need to get Scootaloo.”
Snails nodded. “I was just thinkin’ the same thing.”
Snips emptied his massive soda glass and coughed. Sputtering, he threw a challenging eye at Apple Bloom. “Why do we need little Miss Fast, Brash, and Distant? In fact, why do we need to do anything at all? Everypony seems to be off for the day. Sweetie’s not even at the boutique today.” He sighed.
Apple Bloom gasped. “Snips, y’all ain’t thick enough to miss what’s goin’ on here, right? Is Sweetie really missing? That means we gotta do something.”
Snips gave her a withering look. “I h-heard the diary too, all right? I’m t-terrified, but if anything’s going on the Elements of Harmony should be able to h-handle it.” Suddenly animated, Snips slammed his hooves onto the table. “News flash, Abby, but I’m just a fat tailor’s apprentice and part-time magician! What am I gonna do if Discord has Sweetie Belle, make him a suit? Maybe a card trick will help, you think?” He sat down, shivering. “Heck, I d-don’t even know why you’re here. With this much gloom and doom, I’d thought you’d be as grounded as Scoota... ”
Apple Bloom slapped him.
Snips raised a hoof to his red cheek. “Oh, that was uncalled for, lady.”
She nodded. “I know. That’s why I stopped you before you finished sayin’ it.”
Snips’ eyes flashed. He suddenly turned to the stern gaze of Snails. He sighed. “Buddy, lay it on m-me. That’s was too far, wasn’t it.”
“Eeyup.”
Snips sighed. “Okay, I’m s-sorry. Convince me, then. Why do we need Scootaloo?”
“Well, she’s the bravest mare I know, and we spent years havin’ the kinda weird adventures that give you the experience to deal with something like this.”
Snips squinted. “You really think that ‘C-Cutie M-Mark Crusader’ hours count in this?”
Apple Bloom sighed. “Snips, I learned alchemy as a blank flank. We were runnin’ from monsters while the rest of the kids we’re making slambooks.”
Snails smiled. “You did summon that necromancer for junior prom!”
“Huh,” Snips said with consideration. “Well, there was that time with the yetis. I guess the Stable for Disease Control incident counts, too. Celestia, why aren’t you fillies dead yet?” He shrugged. “Okay, I g-g-gi-gi... concede. Let’s get Scootaloo.”
-----
The setting sun cast a mournful red through the trees, throwing shadows across the distant roofs of Ponyville. Snips watched as the town receded, almost disappear as a small cottage drew closer. Piles of wheels and machinery lay scattered on the lawn between rusted athletic equipment. Barring the Do-Smith cottage on the edge of town, Snips was sure that this was the farthest you could go and still be in Ponyville.
“So,” he offered to break the silence, “she’s p-p-probably not home.”
Apple Bloom shrugged. “She’s most likely out on her package route. Her parents are probably up in Cloudsdale at the moment.”
“Great. S-so, nopony’s here.”
Apple Bloom smiled at a “Beware of Dog” sign sitting in the front yard. The word “dog” had crossed out and replaced with “Heh, Heh.”
“No ‘pony’, guys. Still, be polite.”
Snips shivered.
While Apple Bloom and Snails started to discuss the intricacies of the machinery parts, Snips ventured a peek in a nearby window. The dresser on other the side of the glass held a mess of bolts, doodads, a ribbons-wrapped set of junior flight goggles, dust clinging to the faded and unopened package. A menagerie of adventurous memories were displayed against the walls. Seven photos of the girls being awarded by the Princesses hung over a spear and tiki mask. What had to be an official space program jumpsuit lay under a box labeled “BUNGIE CORDS/ FORENSIC KIT.” Several weapons lay on a pile of bits. A decaying school map of Equestria dominated the far wall, thumbtacks of every color scattered everywhere.
Snips was so entranced that he screamed when something stared back.
Two slitted yellow eyes appeared in his vision, sending him flailing backwards. The dusky yellow feathered thing jumped on the dresser, using its long black and white tail to balance. Snips broke into a cold, shivering sweat at the sight of the beast’s teeth and the grasping claws on its wings. Each foot bore a vicious curved hooks that it tapped in odd patterns on the furniture. A collar with a metal heart hung around its neck.
Snips kept screaming until Apple Bloom covered his mouth. She shushed him and raised a calming hoof toward the window. The beast stared at her briefly, then disappeared back into the room.
A mess of stuttering gradually formed into a single, empathetic shout of “What the buck is that?”
“Oh.” Apple Bloom smiled. “That’s Ponce. He’s grown a bit, now that ah think of it. Ah remember when he could fit in her scooter basket.”
Turning to her friends, she saw looks of confusion.
Snails stepped forward into Snips’ vision. “Was... that what I think it was? I thought those were extinct. Point of fact, every book I ever read said so.”
Apple Bloom lifted Snips up onto his feet and flashed a knowing grin to her coltfriend. “Boys, we had an interesting childhood.” Her eyes opened wide at something down the road.
The boys turned to see a cloud of dust as something launched itself into the air over a hill. The last traces of sunlight gleamed off a chrome frame that buzzed like a beehive. Smoke billowed out of the back as a purring machine skid into place in the driveway.
The three-wheeled dream stopped as an athletic pegasus in patch-covered denim jacket stepped off. Two small wings poked out of holes cut in the back. A red helmet with stylized lightning bolts was lifted off the riders head as she flipped her mane sideways. Snips would always swear that moved in slow motion. Snails thoughtfully closed his mouth for him.
The tubby tailor-in-training clapped on the driveway. “That was awesome. You were r-r-really flying with that thing.”
Apple Bloom facehooved as two purple eyes bored into Snips’ soul, visibly trying to stop his heart. They succeeded for a second.
Snails leaned in. “Don’t mention the ‘f-word,’” he offered.
Scootaloo and Apple Bloom stared at each other. The silent rider slowly smiled, as Apple Bloom stuttered, failing to begin a sentence. It wasn’t a very kind smile. Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “So, never heard of a surprise pity party,” she said in a challenging tone.
“Scoots, we need to talk.”
Scootaloo sighed, pulling her bike toward the open garage. “Whatever it is you want, I’m not interested.” She turned back to Apple Bloom. “You need something, right?”
Snails put a steadying hoof on his girlfriend’s shoulder as she started shaking.
“Scoots, why don’t you ever come into town?”
Scootaloo sighed as she locked up her bike, placing it near several others. “I come into town everyday for work. You see me everyday.”
Apple Bloom stomped on the cobblestones. “Ah mean to see us!”
Scootaloo hung up her helmet, still not deigning to look her old companion in the eye. “You know where I live. You could stop by any time.”
Apple Bloom trotted around Scoootaloo to look her in the face. “Y’all made it pretty clear that ya didn’t want that!”
“Yet, you’re here," Scootaloo said with a raised eyebrow. "Didn’t get your cutie mark in listening, huh?” She grabbed a wrench off of a shelf with her teeth and bent down near a tipped over scooter. For close to a minute, the soft sound of repair work was the only noise Apple Bloom heard except for her own pounding heartbeats. Snips and snails stepped behind her, casting pleading looks at the irritated mechanic.
Scootaloo dropped the wrench and breathed out an aggravated sigh. “Look, can I fix this in peace? See, this is why I don’t need your bucking pity party... “
“Ah never pitied you!”
After the scream, the only sounds Snips could make out were a combination of rustling and loud clicks drawing closer. He started to sweat. He listened half-heartedly before realizing he was the one speaking.
“L-l-look, I -k-know this mare m-means something to you! Y-y-you wake up everyday to like twenty p-pictures of her! Can’t you j-just hear her out?”
Snips prayed to the Princesses that his words would work as he watched the door that connected the house to the garage. Something was slowly turning it.
Scootaloo stared at Snips. The door clicked open. She turned to the creaking noise.
“It’s okay,” she said without looking away from Snips. “They’re with me.”
Something shut the door.
Scootaloo put her head on her hoof, looking at Apple Bloom in amusement. “Okay, you got one minute to make me care.”
The trembling farm girl sat down next to the prone bike. “The side frame looks a little loose. I think you could tighten it to reduce pressure on the intake valve.”
Scootaloo smiled. “Okay, Hammerhead. That buys you five more minutes.”
Apple Bloom bit her bottom lip. “He has Sweetie Belle. He’s back, and he has Sweetie Belle.”
Silence fell for a minute.
"Does her sister know?”
Apple Bloom nodded. “An’ they may have dealt with him. If they have, Sweetie’s had a terrible time and would need cheering up. If they haven’t...”
Snails sat down next to Scootaloo. “Maybe we have to think of something.”
Scootaloo nodded. She walked to back of the large garage, weaving unseen between a bevy of bikes. Apple Bloom and her boys exchanged worried looks. Scootaloo re-emerged within a minute, passing them as she pushed a spike-covered scooter with two-passenger carts on either side. Reaching the road, she turned to the speechless ponies.
“Get in, chumps. We’re going for a spin.”
Snips thrust a hoof into the air. “Awesome! We’ll be riding like Dethstomp.” He jumped into a side car and picked up a waiting pair of safety goggles. “I even get to ride alone.”
Scootaloo grinned. “No, you don’t. Squeeze in, Tubby. You’ll need the space.”
“What?” Snips watched Scootaloo whistle towards her bedroom window. Something inside very carefully undid the latch.
“Oh, no.”
The window was pushed open. A feathery, hissing shape leapt down into the tall grass of the backyard.
“Oh, screw this. Snails, Apple Bloom, tell me I’m not sharing a seat with that thing.”
He felt a tap on his shoulder. Turning around brought him face to face with Scootaloo.
“That ‘thing’s’ name is Ponce. He has shotgun. If he doesn’t let you ride with him, you get to cling to the back of the ride.”
Snips swiveled as the mass of feathers, teeth, and claws jumped into the bucket-seat. The muscular bird-reptile pushed him against the very edge of the seat. It turned its slitted eyes towards him.
“Um. Hello?”
“Skreeeeeeeeeeoooooooooonk!”
Ponce licked Snips nose, drawing out a feeble whimper. Scootaloo laughed as she smashed her hoof down on the pedal, sending the group off toward Ponyville and leaving clouds of dust behind them.
____
Red looked around the Ponyville Library in disbelief. By all accounts, a terrifying reality-controlling monster was about to be poked with a thaumaturgical stick. In spite of this, the Elements of Harmony and his wife were engaged in something very like a tea party.
The seven mares were resting on cushions splayed around the room. Red thought for certain that Twilight would have to draw large geometrical patterns everywhere. He actually brought a protractor in anticipation. Instead, the frazzled sorceress sipped tea out of a floating tea cup as numerous glowing quills danced around her, writing equations on papyrus. Nearby candles held back the darkness of night’s first touch.
Red continued thinking with such focus that he gave a startled yelp when Cheerilee placed her hooves over his eyes.
“A bit for your thoughts, big stallion, and it better not involve cutie marks.”
Red breathed out.
“I just can’t figure this out,” he admitted. “By all accounts this is a special military operation, but it’s acting more like a... knitting circle.”
Cheerilee sat down next to him, their conversation almost drowned out by laughter as Rarity reached the peak of one of her high society anecdotes.
“Red, those are the Elements of Harmony, remember? They’re powered by friendship.”
He blinked. “So... they’re recharging their weaponized relationship equipment?”
His wife shrugged, then shushed him as Twilight Sparkle rose to her hooves and began gently tapping the floor.
“All right, girls! I’ve got the spells narrowed down to pull Discord into this world. It’s actually a simple reversed teleport mixed with a few divinatory... “
“Speak Equestrian,” interrupted Rainbow Dash.
Twilight sighed. “Okay, I cast a ‘where are you’ followed by a ‘get over here.’ Simple enough?”
As her friends nodded, Applejack raised a hoof. “So, how long is this here ritual going to take anyway?”
Twilight swallowed. “I said it was simple. Once I have the combinations, I could bring him here within a minute.”
Nervous looks were exchanged. Rainbow Dash grinned, smashing her front hooves together as Rarity and Pinkie placed theirs on Fluttershy’s shoulder. The shivering pegasus nodded and smiled amiably. Applejack tilted her hat down.
“Ain’t no time better than the present.”
Twilight nodded as her horn began glowing. Ribbon-like purple tendrils spread from a bright light at the tip. The magic ribbons crawled over the area like determined feelers. Fluttershy squeaked as one moved across her flank, while Pinkie Pie giggled at the tickling touch that danced over her face. All of the tendrils suddenly raised in tandem as Twilight strained with closed eyes. Turning like snakes, the ribbons dove together toward a single point at the center of the library, the tips colliding together into a single glowing point. To Cheerilee, it looked like the magic “limbs” were reaching into some kind of hole.
“Almost... have it. I’ve got something,” Twilight said with effort.
“Oh,” Pinkie exclaimed. “Get a teddy bear! Careful though, they’re kind of heavy and you just know that they pick the heavy ones and make the claw too weak and does it have any candy in there?”
The tendrils reversed, pulling out of the tiny portal. Twilight grinned like a satisfied fisherpony as something solid started to enter her world through the glowing light.
Rarity breathed out. “Girls, I do believe it’s showtime.”
Red’s breath caught as the Elements of Harmony levitated into the air with flashing lights and spinning dances. He reach a careful hoof around his shivering wife as she buried her face into his fur at the imminent arrival of Discord.
Rainbow Dash stared at the object breaching into Ponyville through the veil of dimensions, “Wait a second. Is that a doorknob?”
Books flew and ponies scattered as the opening in space tore, releasing a funhouse slightly smaller than the library inside it. Ponies ran for cover as parts of her roof fell among the hurrying Elements. The bookshelves of the Ponyville library tensed as the multicolored building expanded. The meticulously organized volumes spilled onto the floor as the shelving shattered.
Twilight sat immobile as floorboards of her home separated and windows exploded outward into the streets. She quickly surveyed the locations of her friends, noting Rainbow pulling Applejack off the ground by the indignant applebucker’s tail. Rarity’s chest heaved as she levitated a cloud of falling beams above her and Fluttershy. “Go,” the sweating unicorn whispered to the terrified pegasus. The screams of other unseen friends mixed together with the roar of shattering wood into a heart-rending din in Twilight’s ears.
Twilight’s eyes narrowed as calculations swam in front of her eyes. Purple light flashed inside the library. The ponies disappeared a moment before a railing impaled the spot that Twilight had just occupied.
The ponies suddenly found themselves sharing a small corner in the basement. Twilight breathed out as her count revealed everyone intact and accounted for.
“All right,” she said. “Let’s get this--”
A heartbeat afterwards the first floor gave way entirely, dropping the funhouse and an avalanche of books into the basement only a few hooves away from the Elements of Harmony and their friends. With a final shudder, the former library surrendered completely, the split open tree releasing clouds of dust into the sky of Ponyville.
Twilight helped Cheerilee up as they coughed in the dust.
“Well,” the teacher said with feigned cheer, “that was unexpected.”
Everpony’s eyes were drawn to the funhouse. It was a large, dilapidated cottage painted in mismatching splashes that each glowed with their own hue. The front was dominated by a massive bas relief of Discord’s head, his laughing mouth framing a door. Two chimneys bellowed smoke out of his horns as the yellow-tinged window eyes regarded the ponies with seeming disdain.
Applejack whistled. “That there is the ugliest barn I’ve ever seen.”
Rarity stepped in front of her, her necklace glowing as she snorted. “My sister is in that barn, dear. Let’s crack it open.”
The door gently swung open, revealing a mirthful Discord. The calm draconequus sipped from a shotglass full of chocolate milk, looking placid in sunglasses and a red smoking jacket. He lifted the glasses as he cast a disapproving look at the fallen wreckage.
“Well, well,” he said with a snort, “the housing values sure have fallen around here.”
“Discord,” Twilight said.
He cocked an eyebrow. “Yes? Are you going to reproach me now?”
She pawed the ground with her hoof. “Not this time.”
A yellow blur flashed in front of Twilight, imposing herself in front of Discord. Twilight thought with a shudder that the debris-coated disheveled Fluttershy looked just like she had at the Gala all those years ago.
“I can’t believe you, you monster!” Fluttershy’s hooves were held in a punching stance as she hovered inches away from the impassive Discord. “Breaking someone’s home is bad enough, but kidnapping children is unforgivable!”
Discord touched the bottom of her chin gently. “Oh, don’t forget the torture, dear Fluttershy. After all, without that I’m just running a guerrilla babysitting service.” He drank down his glass, leaving a mass of chocolate milk in his hand.
As Fluttershy tried to find words, Red leaned in to Cheerilee to whisper. “You... you bucked that thing in the face?”
She swallowed. “Yes. I hope he doesn’t remember.”
Rarity screamed and telekinetically threw a broken bookshelf at the draconequus. The monster snapped his fingers, reducing it to a shower of chocolate chips.
Twilight coughed. “Girls? Time to turn those Elements on.”
Six hovering ponies illuminated the basement. The laughing monster threw his chocolate mass against the wall, the brown cylinder bouncing out of sight. “Well then, enough of this jibber jabber! Have at you!”
______
Screwball screamed as she fell off of her bed. The prone teen scanned her room attentively. Cheerilee had lit a candle on the nightstand before leaving. She had kissed Screwball and smiled, noting that lighting a bedroom candle during the day was how their family worked. Screwball listened, but couldn’t hear Red or Cheerilee’s voices elsewhere in the house.
“Me knew it was something scary.” She yawned as she walked into the bathroom by moonlight. Screwball dipped her face into the sink, blowing bubbles into the still water.
WaIt a SECond. mE feLl asleEP. WhErE is DisCOrD?
Screwball lifted her head up from the water, barely registering the dark red blur in front of her. She rubbed the water out of her eyes and screamed as Cheerilee beat on the glass from the other side of the mirror.
“Help me,” the terrified mare said through tears. “Help me, please.”
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Intense chapter. I going to change my underware now. Becauce it has been awhile... yeah.
Another interesting chapter, I await to read more as it comes out. that ending certainly leaves plenty of questions.
What, you didn't have a necromancer at your prom? Must have been boring as shit then.
Why is grown-up Scoots always a biker chick? I never quite got that.
Hellraiser - Motörhead
Shit, Lemmy looks young in that video, and that seems just so very wrong.
I had this fic completely mixed up with another one where Twilight locked Fluttershy in a mental institution to cover up a murder.
Thus, despite its rather dark content, this was lighter than expected.
Certainly lighter than Choices, towards the end.
NOOOOO, the library!
Oh, and, uh, everyone Discord has trapped. That sucks too. 
It's nice to see a story where Discord is the evil SOB he really is. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Discord.png And DAMN, but he is a nasty piece of work in the Dazeverse. Course, he was a nasty piece of work in canon too.
EVENT CAKE APATHY makes me think of the Laundry's reference system for reality incursions. Which totally makes sense.
So, Ponce is what, an archaeopteryx? Classy.
1684228 Well, I wanted the 80's horror movie tought kid, ala Rudy from Monster Squad or that guy from Return of the Living Dead. Scoots seemed the best fit to wear the leather jacket. Also, the exact video that inspired the chapter title!
1685441
Wow. Chef Sandy is right, perhaps. Maytbe I made the end of CHoices too dark. In any case, what did you think of the Choices cast reunion last chapter?
1686677
Yeah, Discord has nothing redeemable in the show for me. It's fun to write him here as a magnificent bastard and the depowered one in Chaos & Darkness.
1687980
Yeah, the inspiration was CLAVDIVS' Laundry mashup scene from his Cthulhu/Pony fic The Stars, the Seal, and the Kraken. Great stuff: Valusians in Ponyville! So I had to think of a name for teh Chrysalis incident, and that picture of her throwing the cake across the room popped into my head, and....
1690048
While I could have created Ponce whle-cloth from what the Crusaders will do, he actually comes from a story Kamineigh wrote crossing pony's with Jurassic Park. He's a more-aaccurate velociraptor; that's why I have all the scenes of him opening doors, as a nod to the movie. Nice guess, though!
1690866 A Cthulhu/Pony crossover? Excuse me while I read the hell out of that!
(I'll come back, I promise.)
Yay, glad to see you're continuing with this!
1692794
Oh, I had a few busy weeks organizing the local Carl Sagan Day, but I'm in it for the long haul. Got the final two chapters outlined; there will come an ending!
1690866
"Too" dark isn't what I'd say. I actually really enjoyed it, it felt like a very real treatment of issues that real people have to deal with sometimes. I loved it and School Daze both, just in very different ways.
Honestly I don't really remember the reunion scene... I'll have to go back and re-read this whole thing when it's finished. Like I said, I thought this was (what I now remember is called) Secrets and Lies, so I'm all mixed up.
Another excellent chapter... and don't think I didn't catch that last reference.
"What is a pone?! A miserable little pile of friendships!"
1700891
Indeed! I just finished "Adventure Time: Hey Ice King, Why'd You Steal Our Garbage??!," and having the Ice King quote SOTN made me want to do it. Good catch!
1700891
In chapter 3, I have a reunion for the cast of Choices after about ten years. It starts in the cafe, with the line:
“And right when Red proposed, the darn thing exploded.”
Lost... Roadhouse... that too
1704189
Huh?
o>>1705104
Perhaps mic and tombstone can fix it in September...
I love this story. Do you have an idea about when the next piece will be done? I love screwball. She is awesome.
I think this needs a screwball tag
Edit: this hole sight needs a screwball tag but I remember there was one at one point.
1926481
Not to my knowledge. Been writing Screwball since 2011, never seen a tag for her. Yet, Rumble has one.
Cant wait untils finished. School daze was my very first fic i read and i love the World you have created over serveral Storys. You seriously have to do a story about what happend with the cmc.
Are you going to finish this? I absolutly love your writing style, and I think you have excelent characterization, BUT I really don't want to start reading something that's never going to be finished. I would read it and then it would take me MONTHS to get over not knowing what happens next. You can write characters I care about, and if I care about the characters I just can't leave without a concrete ending.
1972690
Absolutely. School's been tough lately, but it's only two more chapters, Screwy needs her resolution, and I've known how this was ending since before School Daze finished.
yay
I love how you associate Cheerilee with classic 80s movie tropes. It works so well. I have also become a big fan of Screwball. Would like to see a conclusion to this story, but take your time. I am defiantly a fan of your work.
I'm glad to see somebody agrees with me. I swear, by the time those three get their cutie marks, they'll have every possible skill between them (except the ability to distinguish good ideas from terrible ones). I can't think of them without the phrase "worryingly competent" coming to mind.
1974339 I'm glad to hear this is going to get a conclusion.
I have to say, I enjoyed Cheerilee in School Daze, but I absolutely adore Screwy. She has taken the best of the worst and made it work. If anypony deserves a happy ending, it's her.
2585819
Pretty much the main reason I'm following this story......XD
To be honest:
Red and 'Lee moments: YAY!
Other characters: Meh.
Screwy moments:
2763695
Ooh! Which action finally did it?
AYEARGH! DOCTOR! DOCTOR! IS IT GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT?
The Doctor scowled. "Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a fortune-teller."
"SURPRISE!"
Aren't you going to finish it?
2763766
...I have no idea what my thought processes were when I wrote this.