• Member Since 5th May, 2013
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Carapace


No.

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This story is a sequel to The Village Called Respite


It's Nightmare Night in the strange village hidden deep within the heart of the Neighagara Forest. Tonight, all the changelings and ponies of Respite will laugh and play and dance the night away. But something seems off about the merry band of tricky nymphs and foals, and Sure Stroke's determined to get to the bottom of it.

She just might wish she'd stayed on her cloud.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 20 )

This was wonderful. Ahhhhh I love this

Yaaaaaaaaaaaay

The whole crew was in on in

JMP
JMP #5 · Nov 1st, 2017 · · ·

That's a lot of effort being put in to scare one filly. Aspire probably got smacked immediately after this story.

Awwww! That was so cute!:heart:

And I have to say; I feel there is a strong chance a certain book bug is gonna get such a smack!:rainbowlaugh:

It was cute at the end but during it all I could think of was all the different ways this Nightmare Night prank could have horribly backfired and damaged Sure Stroke's friendship with the others.

This was cute, kind of was hoping it would have a few more chapters though, it definitely feels like it could have a few more chapters.

8524349
Damaging friendships? I'm more worried about Zephyr's sternum after taking a full-on adrenaline powered buck to the chest! I'm shocked he showed up at that last scene at all, much less still able to take in enough oxygen to sing their creepy song! :raritydespair:

img.memecdn.com/Snowman-Prank-Fail_o_93555.gif

This needs a second chapter that consists solely of her beating the chitin off of him :D

9052268 In the original draft, there was actually a short, two paragraph bit in which she pummeled the daylights out of him since he was the mastermind, and everyone else laughed their heads off.

9052366
That's quality content right there.

The troublesome nymphs strike again in this Nightmare Night story!

I am very confused by this.

Corrections offered without malice.

with a decidedly different flare that made it even more eery,

flair that made it even more eerie

headach

headache

moseleum

mausoleum

NOne

None


Not to mention that one utterly ridiculous tale about magic seeds and changelings being born from trees.

Yes, utterly ridiculous.

Nice story, thank you!

Geeze, this is such a good story, but if it were me at her age, I'd have done so much worse than brave little Doodle did. Having all your friends, and your boyfriend, somehow turn evil and betray you? By the end of that I'd either be in full-blown teary breakdown mode, or even just asking them to get it over with already.

The number of ways this could have gone horrible ... what adult in their right mind would have approved this?

Warning: this is not one of my nicer comments. If you're in a bad mood or just don't like negative comments give this one a pass.






A bunch of your 'friends' ganging up for a prank, laughing at you? Been there done that. It taught me 'the new kid isn't a friend, just a target we buttered up'. Happened more than once actually; you'd think I'd have learned. Eh, young and dumb... optimistic, back then.

We only know that's not the case here because of... well basically narration, a cheat we readers get. How Sure Stroke lets this go I genuinely don't know. Literally... because the story just stops. I really wish we could see some fallout from this, because it's WAY worse than that forest incident. I wish I'd given this one a pass... I considered it based on the description, since I pretty much knew what to expect. It was worse than I thought. I feel bad about myself because I seriously doubt I could make it in this village. I don't have enough trust to let something like this go. They'd just be waiting to do it again. Because they hate me.

Strange that it was what Doodle thought though, that they really were out to get her. She never seemed to consider that it was a prank... To be fair they led her along in a way that didn't give her much time to think about it. And Aspire knew how much charming bothered her, and used that against her. Slime, too. Yeah... this makes me ask: have they ever gone too far? I don't mean the forest hide and seek bit. Sure Stroke got past that relatively quickly and started dating the guy, so clearly not that hurtful or traumatic. I mean driven a foal to basically say 'buck this I'm out' and just go recluse until they could leave town?

They talk a lot about challenges and slights and such... but the truth is they want... well at least the challenges. Ultimately, given Respite's policy about consent... if ponies refused to play, changelings would be kind of screwed. And if they're miserable and hateful because they don't trust their changeling neighbors... well they're none too appetizing at that point since those emotions taste awful to Caretakers. 'Nope, sorry. Hey, you were right all along. Changelings are just superior and there's no way I can keep up or challenge you at all. So I'm done trying. Being your friend is too humiliating and you know... I don't enjoy that feeling. As soon as I can, I'm leaving Respite forever. I'll keep your secret; believe me I'm never going to want to talk about this town anyway. *door slam*' It's a fragile balance between indulging that part of their nature that wants to hunt and trick, but not being malicious about it. Nymphs in particular seem to (understandably) have trouble finding the line.

This felt malicious, like the forest hide and seek but worse, and she didn't even challenge them this time. Revenge? Stay on the cloud for awhile. A long while. 'Sorry, Locusts and malicious Enchanters not welcome here. Oh, what am I drawing? None of your business. You could charm me and make me show you. I can't stop you; you've certainly made that point. I don't consent though. That doesn't matter, does it? Oh, it does? Well paint me surprised. ...Go away.'

The worst part is not getting anything at the end, except Aspire laughing at her, along with everyone else. What a sour note to go out on. Speaking of sour notes... this comment is awful. But I feel awful after reading this so I'm posting it anyway.

BUT. The first story, and every other sequel so far that I've read, have been wonderful and while not all aspects of changeling life (even in Respite, home of best changelings) appeal to me... these characters and their world do... overall. This one in particular... let's call it an outlier for me, and move on.

Having been in Sun Sage's shoes and Doodle's hoofprints more than once, your 'lings would find me toxic from this point on. Not just unappetizing, but poisonous to them...and if 'lings are so good at reading mood and emotion, they'd know better than to pull this crap. I get it, Nightmare Night, but this story, as cute as it's supposed to be, is completely OOC for Respite, not to mention Esalen, Aspire, and the other Caretakers.

That being said, well done for a scary, creepy one-shot (I can't believe I said that :facehoof:)!

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