• Member Since 3rd Jul, 2012
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Secret_Shadows


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Based on a picture on Deviant Art made by NaterRang, (Which I am currently using as a cover pic for the story.)

The story is about Rainbow Dash, her final school assignment for the year before the big school field trip to Manehatten to see the Wonder Bolts perform. Rainbow passes the test but her grade isn't good enough to let her go on the trip, what is she going to do to see her idols?

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 21 )

A quick Authors Note:
I'm just doing a quick 2 maybe 3 chapter story, I may merge all of the chapters when I finish writing this if its short enough, but I don't know how long I'm going to make it yes, so expect at least 1 more chapter, at most 3. Also I would appreciate it if you find an error or typo please let me know, I've been having issues with my auto correct and spell check recently, so I might miss a few errors, Thanks!

Very interesting story. It is worth the read, and I only saw one mistake: Rainbow was leading over a bench her head in her hooves, her test on the floor bent and covered in tears beside her, tears pooling on the bench in front of her. Instead of leading, I think you meant leaning. It is a very good story. It is kind of weird though seeing them in Rainbow's house because she never really has stayed in her house that long, more or less invites anyone to her house. It was also weird seeing that she has a mother, especially after knowing her for so long, she wasn't one that ever mentioned, or showed signs of having a mother or father. Otherwise, this is a good story keep up the good work. I will give you five moustaches for this. :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

From hell, to you, and back again,
Soto Konoha

But.... a hundred bits? with 1 or 2 you buy tomatoes... And you should do a secuel of fluttershy's struggle for making presents... of her doing some works!

Soto Konoha: Thank you for pointing out that typo, I'll get on it right away.

Also, the main point behind her having a mother in this story and being at her house is she is suppose to still be young in school, so I assumed she would be living back home, but that's open to interpretation from all of the other bronies out there, I don't want to impose my own idea's about Rainbow's childhood, but i needed a few lines of filler, (I was at like 975 words, lol) and I wanted to get part one up before I got into the climax of the story.


Locus Amoenus: I wasn't quite sure about the amount of bits, so I just went with a guesstimate, lol.

Story Update: You may or may not be able to see that I wrote the Epilogue, yes I have written it before I wrote the second and final part of the story only because I had a great idea for the epilogue and it really does not affect Rainbow's current predicament in any way,(And I wanted to get it down before I forgot and its 5:04 A.M. and I don't have access to any other form of saving the idea at the moment.) I will be changing it, so if for some reason you can see the epilogue, its not going to be staying that way.
Thanks again for reading the story and I'm hoping to get the second and Final part up tomorrow (Later today) and the Epilogue up shortly there after, so expect part two soon!

Also, If it is a popular suggestion and people want to see it, Locus I will write a sequel about Fluttershy and the Hearths Warming Eve Presents.

The story is complete! I can't wait to read your feedback on this story! Thanks to all of those who took the time to read my story.

And again a special shout out to NaterRang on Deviant Art who made the picture that inspired the story.

941644 the currency rate of Equestria is kinda iffy. 2 bits may buy you some tomatoes ut they will also get you an apple pie or a fritter or a mug of cider. while 8 bits gets you a basket of apples. figure that out!:unsuresweetie:

Economical Math hurts my head. lol. :pinkiesmile:

seriously though if anyone can give me a proper cannon amount of bits, I can change it if you all want me to.

"Eventually Rainbow was discovered and she was given detention and summer school"

Good game, Rainbow.:ajbemused:

Aw man! This is totally awesome! :rainbowwild:

You developed an interesting story framework from the picture. I especially liked the way the characters interacted with each other. The ending was sweet, Dash still gets to see her idols, but she had to face the consequences of her actions.

Five out of five mustaches!
:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

If you ever decide to write something else based off my pictures, please send me a link! -I really enjoyed this! :twilightsmile:

Thank you, I wasn't expecting you to actually ever find this story, lol.

I would like to personally thank you for making that picture, because its something I can personally connect with in life, Trying hard because something is suddenly relevant and still failing, it inspired me to write this story based on your picture and the description you made for it, truly inspiring good sir.

When I wrote it I wasn't entirely sure that you would approve of use of the picture and I was prepared to take it down, but this is a much better result. :twilightsmile:

Also I'll be sure to let ya know if I use any more of your pictures, it was really just a Google search, I was looking for an inspiring picture and that one came up and I really connected to it :)

Also, now that this long winded comment of mine is over, I would like to be overly critical of my story and a bit honest about the end, I rushed it, It still turned out good, but if I was to go back and do the end again I think most of it would turn out the same but the letter to Celestia in the Epilogue (Which I was trying to make look like the description NaterRang gave for his picture as a shout out) Would have turned out a bit better If I hadn't rushed it.

Very nice. I'm glad Rainbow learned a lesson from all this even if she still got what she wanted in the end.

Hah! FINALLY GOT IT READ!

First things first; there are grammar errors sprinkled throughout. Not that they detract from the story or anything, but yeah.

The story was sweet, simple, and got its message through. That being said, some might think it's a bit TOO simplistic. But it's fluff, and fluff is good.

Well done!

1835414

I'm genuinely surprised someone actually read this story this far after it was released.

I'm glad you liked it :twilightsmile:

It's one of my personal favorites out of all of the stories I wrote.

1836816 Eh, call it the RIL pile up. I got a surprise watch just today; was NOT expecting that.

1836843

Read later pile up? Oh I can sympathies with that, I have 417 stories on my read later list. I intend to read these stories, but real life just gets in the way!

1837700 Yes, the days do have this annoying tendency to only be twenty four hours long...'tis a cruel, cruel world. :fluttercry:

Oh well, procrastinate on other things to read MLP fics. That's a legitimate course of action.

1838319

hmm, school, my little pony stories, graduate, my little pony stories, boring calculus, or exciting my little pony stories.....

I choose My Little Pony Stories! Wait, wasn't there a lesson in this exact story about that? :rainbowlaugh:

Hello there! I enjoyed this story, so I narrated it! Hope you don't mind. :twilightsmile:

7719576 Oh my god this is the first time I've ever had like some kind of reading or anything of one of my stories! Thank you so much for doing that, I love it!!!!!

(Sorry for the 4ish day late reply! I've been busy this week so I haven't been logging on as frequently.)

Edit*: Thanks for fixing some of the typos I made in the story when you read it! At the time I wasn't exactly the best at catching things like that lol.

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