One day, it was a calm and nice day, free from anypony going insane after another douse of coffee. For the most part, the skies were clear of anything. allowing the sun to shine through unhindered.
Except for one small area. There were a group of five clouds above one of the parks, the only ones out there. In fact, they almost seemed to be arranged like a trail, just like some blue pony liked it.
From down on the ground, Fluttershy watched the trail closely, wondering when the attempt would start. She didn't get to speak with her friend at all that day, she was just there because she was told to. Oh, how she hoped she didn't get the date wrong...
But she didn't as she saw Rainbow Dash fly by and land on the first cloud, rowdy and ready to do something today.
"Hi Rainbow Dash!" Fluttershy greeted. "Are you going for the 500 meter attempt today? I hope I didn't miss anything."
"You betcha!" Rainbow Dash shot back. "You brought that stopwatch with you?"
Fluttershy picked up the device hanging around her neck and brought it up for the blue pegasus to see.
"Good, I'm going to crush that record Spitfire set! Now keep in mind it's exactly forty seven point oh-four seconds. If I can beat it just by a hair it'll get me in the Wonderbolts for sure! Ready?"
The yellow pegasus put her hoof right on the button to start. "Ready! Good luck!"
"Good luck are my middle names! Now let's crush some records!"
She narrowed down on the starting cloud, focusing on the next four she would have to dodge on the way. They moved a little with the breeze, and she took a deep huff of air before shutting her eyes.
"3, 2, 1, GO!" Fluttershy counted down.
Rainbow took off after the first cloud, off a few meters from the start. She flew off the left side, leaving it to spin, feeling good about the pace she was setting.
Then came the second one, where she would have to come off the right side. Undeterred, she adjusted the path and just barely avoided clipping some of it off, going on record pace.
The last two would be the hardest. The second-to-last required the flyer to dive below it, and then go to the last and soar above that, while they were extremely close to each other. There was a reason this was the exercise used to recruit Wonderbolts, it was difficult at the end and only the best could pull it off.
But Rainbow was one of the best. She made the necessary dive underneath the third one, and ducked her head to avoid crashing into it. Rainbow could feel the moisture on her mane as she had just enough leeway to pass. To her, the greats made the "almost made it"s to "just barely made it"s.
Now came the grand finale. There would be just around five second to get into position, and for Rainbow Dash that was too much time. The pegasus pulled up far above what was necessary and soared up into the sky, right above the cloud to end the run.
Feeling confident about the result, she kept soaring into the air, circling her body as she enjoyed her performance. She never expected anything but the best from herself, yet this one felt like she aced it in spades.
Rainbow made her way back to the ground, and found Fluttershy with the stopwatch. This one would tick with every second passed, and it was quiet. Her dropped jaw fueled Rainbow's confidence, and she questioned by how much did she shred Spitfire's score.
"You...you..." Fluttershy stuttered. "How did you..."
"Just show me."
Fluttershy turned the watch to where Rainbow could see it. 45.98 seconds. This beat Spitfire's record by over a second.
"YES! I did it! I finally broke that record!" she grinned, flying back into the air holding Fluttershy in her hooves. "This is the best day ever!"
Fluttershy tried not to scream as they flew off for a victory lap around the improvised track, Rainbow not display as much caution as their manes hit every single cloud in their way.
Meanwhile, Rainbow had the biggest grin on her face, like it was Christmas for that month. She seemed to go faster that time than before, feeling like she was on top of the world at that moment.
"Now all I have to do is take that performance to the Wonderbolts tryout next week, and they'll make me a Wonderbolt, guaranteed! There's no way they can say no!"
"I'm really proud of you," Fluttershy said, as they came to a stop. "Should we be celebrating this? That's a record that's been around for years."
"Hay yeah I am! Do you know what it's like to not only beat an unbeatable record, but the biggest one set by your idol? I have to party hard some way!"
"Maybe Pinkie Pie could throw you a party? She likes any excuse to throw a party, and this is pretty big."
"That's a great idea! I should go to the Corner and tell her to throw a party tonight at Twilight's house."
"That is, if she doesn't mind..."
Before Rainbow could consider it, she was already dashing off for Ponyville, and Fluttershy had to play catch-up most of the way there.
But eventually she caught up with Rainbow, as her friend had parked right in front of the Corner, her attention to the weird looking neon sign on the window.
It looked strange to her as well, with the logo of Celestia doing an arty poise foriegn to her as well. And was that clothing she was wearing in that picture?
"'Starbits Coffee.' You ever heard of that before?" Rainbow said.
"No, not until now. Is it any good?" Fluttershy responded.
"Well I'm interested. I'm going to tell Pinkie to throw that party, and then I'll have some of that coffee! It does look cool, and I'm getting exhausted," she yawned.
Fluttershy held the door open for her friends as they came inside, the bell ringing to inform the cashier somepony was coming in.
When Pinkie Pie heard it, her ears perked up as she saw two of her friends come in.
"Hi Rainbow Dash, hi Fluttershy!" she greeted them. "What awesome new record are you breaking this time, RD?"
"I just beat Spitfire's 500 meter cloud heat record, and that could be enough to get me a Wonderbolts spot!" Rainbow reported cheerfully. "Can you believe it? After so many years of hard work, I'll finally be able to fly with the best fliers in Equestria!"
"This calls for a party! 'Rainbow's going to be a Wonderbolt party!' How about we do it--"
"Actually, she was hoping you could it tonight," Fluttershy whispered. She ducked underneath the counter in fear she made Pinkie angry by interrupting her.
"OK, that works too! I don't know why, but everypony that I ever threw a night party for, always went a little more nuts. In fact, I had a night party for Big Mac, and somepony lit a tree on fire! How about that?"
Rainbow smiled, trying to hide the fact that she was very guilty of that very thing throughout Flight School. She and Gilda made an interesting party duo there...
"I saw that big glowing Starbits sign out there. Did you guys just get that in?"
"Yep. The Cakes brought that in to boost how much money they were making, and everypony really likes that. But it does weird things to a few, I'm sure it's nothing!"
Undeterred, Rainbow took a sniff of the coffee within the silver machine, and the sugary goodness of Starbits was amazing. It wasn't too sweet even though she barely ate anything with sugar inside, and it was balanced with what seemed like a more natural flavor, like what she would taste eating plant life.
"What's that inside the machine right now?"
"That? It's what's left from a morning batch of iced lattes! There was a big rush at sunrise, but I overdid the amount to make. You want some?"
Both of them nodded, and Pinkie took two cups for the order. Thankfully it was already made, so the machine didn't have to make that weird whirrling noise when it was making something. It dropped the iced slush down to one cup at a time, and Pinkie shivered as she grabbed them to deliver.
"I don't know if it's still any good, but it's on the house! Can't wait for the real party to begin, newest Wonderbolt!' she gleamed.
"Thanks Pinkie," said Fluttershy. "That was really kind of you.
"Are you kidding? I make so much money off of this that I don't need to worry about doing this for my best friends!"
Rainbow laughed at that. Pinkie always knew how to make her smile. They left the Corner and and took off for the forest, careful not to spill any of the coffee on the way.
Once they got there, Fluttershy put her iced drink on the ground, breathing heat onto her cold hooves. Rainbow was used to it, having spent months at a time creating snow clouds in Cloudsdale before this, so coldness wasn't a problem for her anymore.
"So what do you think of this coffee stuff?" Rainbow asked.
In response, Fluttershy took a ship of the stuff and downed it through her throat. After she tasted it she stuck her tongue out in disgust. "Yuck, this is awful! I can't have anymore, do you think Pinkie will be mad at me?"
"Eh, to each her own taste," Rainbow shrugged. "I'll have yours if I like this."
Fluttershy pushed the cup closer to her friend, and Rainbow looked back at her own. The straw was out for her to try, and she was certain it couldn't have been that bad. She hadn't had coffee before, but she heard it gave ponies a lot of energy, which she wanted more than anything.
So without further adue, she took the straw and had some for herself. It splashed down around her tongue, a caramel flavor this time. Immediately she loved the taste, and took another sip. And another. And another. It wasn't long before the whole cup was gone, and she went for Fluttershy's.
"Are you sure you don't like this?" she asked. "I can't believe I haven't had this before, it is that good!"
"Go ahead, I'm fine," Fluttershy squeaked.
"If you say so."
Rainbow started to drink the second iced coffee dry, not taking her lips off the straw until it was halfway gone. Then she pulled off and took a deep breath of satisfaction. That was one of the best drinks she ever had in her life, and she had been to Canterlot twice!
After she was finished, she experienced a rush of energy, and even though she got off beating a record, there was more for her to do.
"Hey, do you mind if I go flying around for a bit?" she asked.
"OK. Tell Pinkie Pie I'm really sorry about the coffee."
"Fine by me!"
Spreading her wings out, Rainbow took off and sped right back into the sky. The wind currents had picked up while they were out, traveling in a northeast direction which would lead to Ponyville.
Thinking it wouldn't be bad for the newest Wonderbolt to show off just a little bit, she went with the current and flew to the town. It seemed like everything was going her way, as she skirted around the buildings at a gentle speed.
Then, at that moment, everything became a blur. Suddenly she went from barely flying at all to rushing forward at the speed of light, as wind sheers formed around her. She didn't understand it as she kept going faster and faster, the windows of buildings exploding around her as she ultimately arrived at the Everfree Forest.
She turned around and made out a small rainbow trail marking her way over here. Did she...no way, she couldn't have. To do something like that, she would have to be skydiving practically.
Still, the Forest was spooking her out, so she made a U turn and came back to Ponyville. When she looked around, there was damage everywhere. Pieces of glass coated the ground, everypony's mane was in all directions, and in general it looked like a big mess.
No...there was no way. No way.
But it happened again. Her body decided to skyrocket again and she exploded out of there. This time, she looked behind her to discover she had just performed a Sonic Rainboom. In the middle of Ponyville. Without trying.
She panicked and tried to get out of the powerful move, but she couldn't stop herself. "SOMEPONY! PLEASE HELP ME! I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON!"
For a while, she did manage to slow down. She sighed as she landed onto one of the parks. That must have been a freak accident, she thought. Surely it won't happen--
Nope. Even though she was on the ground, she managed to do a Sonic Rainboom again. She tried her hardest not to scrape her hooves on the road as she flew around, everypony seeing her coming and ducking in hopes of not dying.
But as she was flying around, one pony did crash into her. This one didn't try to get away, instead she launched straight at Rainbow and managed to tackle her, with all her Sonic Rainboom might, to the floor.
"Hi again, Rainbow Dash! Why are you going around like this? Everypony is terrified you'll explode!"
Rainbow Dash blinked her eyes, not believing what she was seeing. Pinkie Pie was the one tackling her, and somehow she had managed to overpower the pegasus. Might be that earth pony might.
"Pinkie Pie? You gotta help me out!" she gasped. "I don't know why, but after you left I keep doing Sonic Rainbooms and I'm not even trying! What is going on?"
"Oh, so you're one of the ponies that gets side effects?"
"What do you mean, side effects?"
Again her body decided to go full throttle, and she launched straight into the air. However, Pinkie Pie held onto the pegasus' shoulders like it was something everypony could do.
"Simple!" she replied, shouting loud enough to overcome the wind in their ears. "I put 2 and 2 together and realized that someponies get these weird side effects when they drink coffee! And for you, the side effect is--"
Another Sonic Rainboom. This time Rainbow flew past Canterlot and into places she had never seen before.
"--you can't stop doing Sonic Rainbooms!"
"HOW IS THAT SUPPOSED TO HELP ME?" Rainbow yelled, turning around so she would know the place she was going. "I KNOW THE PROBLEM, BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!"
As if in an attempt to make things even worse, she went one direction and did three Sonic Rainbooms, back to back to back. Her body felt like it was on fire, and the intense wind currents seemed to be scarring her fur.
"PLEASE! MAKE IT STOP!" she pleaded.
"Oh, I don't have to do anything!" Pinkie smiled.
"WHAT? I COULD DESTROY PONYVILLE AND YOU WON'T LIFT A HOOF TO HELP ME?"
"Sillyhead, I slipped something inside the drink! You see, I was really concerned the coffee could do something to you, because you're such a strong flier, so I slipped a sleeping pill! And the best thing is, it only works for five hours, so you'll wake up just in time for the party! Well, have fun until then!"
Pinkie waited until they were above the lake, and let go of Rainbow to take a swim inside. She splashed down into the water and waved back to the pegasus as she surfaced.
"PINKIE! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WHEN I CRAS...crash..."
She started to snore while she was flying, as the sleeping pill took effect. It was when she had returned to Ponyville that the drug took hold, and her eyes shut as her brain and body shut down.
Like a bullet she went down, and ultimately crashed right into the water fountain, smacking hard into the statue. The statue broke together into many pieces, and Rainbow landed roughly into the water, her body limp.
--------------
Rainbow Dash had no idea how long she was out for. Maybe it was all part of a coma or something. But the instant she opened her eyes she felt searing pain everywhere, especially her chest area. She could feel what felt like cloth hugging her frame, as well as some other cloth draped around her belly.
When her eyes opened, she realized they were a hospital gown and blanket, with tape wrapped around nearly every part of her body except her head. She groaned as she came to terms of what that meant: she had injured herself flying. Again.
But then she saw what was in front of her in the hospital room. The whole place had turned into a party area, with a banner stating "Future Wonderbolt, Rainbow Dash!" There was cake and ice cream everywhere, further adding to the sting that she got injured.
Yet the record player going off with a ditzy tune couldn't help but put a smile in her face. All according to plan.
As she couldn't help but marvel at the festivities, a familiar pink pony came in the room, leading the rest of her friends inside. They looked both thrilled and sad when she saw them, but overall they were going to keep it on the "thrilled side" if they could help it.
"Hi, new Wonderbolt!" Pinkie Pie greeted. "Sorry about that whole crash landing, when I gave you that sleeping medicine I didn't think that would happen with the Sonic Rainbooms. Apology accepted?"
"What...wait a minute, where's the doctor here?" Rainbow responded.
"So you must have woken up," Twilight announced. "The doctor said you really took a beating, there's some broken bones and wings, but you're supposed to make a full recovery in a few weeks. Don't worry about it."
"Wait...that sucks!" Rainbow brushed off. "I was going to perform for the Wonderbolts tryout, and now it's over!"
"That's the bad news, but I think Fluttershy wants to give you the good news herself," Twilight mentioned.
"What? What's the 'good news'?"
Fluttershy came closer to Rainbow's bed, right on her left side with a bag on her back. "I found Spitfire in Ponyville after that nasty crash, and I told her about your record breaking, about how you broke it with a second. And after that she found out about how you were in the hospital, and she felt bad about it. So when you get all better, she wants you to do something."
She opened the bag with her wing, and Rainbow's eyes started to water when she saw the blue suit inside she idolized for so many years.
"When you make a full recovery, she wants you to try out at the next Wonderbolts performance. If you do great there, you're on the team."
nice
Glad she got a good ending.
1060226
In case Pinkie went insane. I tried with Rainbow Dash to solve a problem like that with something other than "she gets a tranquilizar dart in her neck" because I've done that thrice in both stories.
1065438
Good thing or bad thing?
The fact that Pinkie has access to quick acting sleeping pills scares me.
Dat ending...
Silly>>1065466 ! She has them stored all over ponyville for sleeping pill emergencies!
/)(\
SO AWESOME!!
I think I got an idea of another customer. Somepony orders a cappuccino, drinks it, and nothing happens…until they realize they're not tired (but not hyper) and are unable to sleep.
And then we'll have Berry Punch try it. I know you can't get drunk on coffee but…
1065466
You and me Both mate.
We must worry on whom she would be willing to use them on...
Great little stories!
Some random Ideas:
Luna = The moon moves randomly and changes phase continuously.
Spike = Morphs into a slender lizard form that moves extremely fast, and ends crashing some things.
Scootaloo = Steals herself a cup, after drinking she starts moving in a extremely dextrous way, but she cannot stand the light, so she becomes.... STALKERLOO! ... and also earns her cutie mark.
1065739 Let's consider some more.
Applejack: Hyperpowered apple bucking.
Octavia: Creates dubtrot music.
Chrysalis in disguise: Makes everypony around her change appearance.
Or something.
And that my friends is the story of the aurora project.
Earn your happy ending, Rainbow Dash.
1065852 MAOR.
Big Mac: He starts talking in a higher-pitched voice uncontrollably.
Trixie: Makes millions of rainclouds with fireworks and sparks in them.
Derpy Hooves: Makes everypony's eyes derp to such an extent their eyes are not visible from the outside parts of the eye. And makes muffins.
Lyra: PLAYS LYRES FOR EVERYPONY.
Applebloom: Gets a cutie mark of a cutie mark of a cutie mark of a cutie mark of a cutie mark of a cutie mark of a cutie mark of a cutie mark of a cutie mark of a cutie mark of a cutie mark of a cutie mark of furniture-making!
Discord: He turns non-chaotic.
Spitfire: Does a Sonic Spitboom 3 times!
1066218 Okay... I;m out of ideas, and a Sonic Spitboom sounds unsanitary. In fact, it sounds like an explosion that puts saliva in everypony's ears.
But as she was flying around, one pony did crash into her. This one didn't try to get away, instead she launched straight at Rainbow and managed to tackle her, with all her Sonic Rainboom might, to the floor.
"Hi again, Rainbow Dash! Why are you going around like this? Everypony is terrified you'll explode!"
Rainbow Dash blinked her eyes, not believing what she was seeing. Pinkie Pie was the one tackling her, and somehow she had managed to overpower the pegasus. Might be that earth pony might.
'Earth Pony Might' mah fuzzy behind...
...
...
Good fucking GOD, Pinkie, what the hell do you EAT?!
She...she stopped Rainbow...
In th' middle of a Sonic Rainboom...
And...tackled me...to the ground.
You can just come out and say it.
I'm awesome!
I am never wrestling you. Not for a million dollars. I fear for the molecular safety of my body.
Do Rarity next, it will be like, she drinks some coffee and every thing she looks at is puke green.
i swear... putt some calsium and vitamine in that coffee and you got your self a instand health potion
This has been one hilarious, emotional roller coaster.
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Rainbow_Dash_lolface.png Another great installment!
rgifs.gifbin.com/1233928590_citizen%20kane%20clapping.gif
IT UPDATED??
determinismsucks.net/archive/1289145351118.jpg
i'm loving it. nice ending.
1066258 This. Absolutely this. Rainbow Dash is fast, Applejack is strong, and Twilight is smart, but Pinkie defies all logic and physics and somehow becomes superequine.
rainbow + coffee = constant sonic rainbooms... seems legit
I sensed a small bit of Pinkie Dash in this chapter...in that case.....100% down! Love Pinkie Dash...if that's what it was, good that Rainbow was given a shot to perform with her idots, bad that she was almost killed because of it, DO YOU SEE WHAT COFFEE MAKES YOU DO DAMN IT!
1075372
....actually, that was unintentional. But at the same time I could see why.
1075691 True, true.....I'll be glad to see more, thank you for writing such a great story.
It would be irresponsible for the Cakes to keep serving this coffee. At the very least, they shouldn't be allowed to give more to RD. Even worse is how Pinkie suspects something might go horribly wrong, but decides to drug her drink instead of saying a damn thing. She had every reason to assume that RD would end up dropping off in midflight and seriously injuring herself. It wouldn't be so horrible if Pinkie acknowledged any wrongdoing. But no. Property damage and injury all around because she didn't go "Hey Dashie, maybe you should take a sip first."
1065638 No, you can't get drunk off of it. But maybe Berry Punch feels less drunk after drinking some, so she drinks more and more to feel just as drunk. But because the coffee doesn't actually help her metabolize the alcohol, just reduces the effects, she ends up with alcohol poisoning.
What is wrong with you brain? dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_RageFace.png
Did she do a double rainboom? You know, all the way across the sky? What does it mean?
1065466 1065536 1065694
Well well well... I guess now we know what it was Pinkie put in those cupcakes. Besides her friends, of course.
1066258
Your comments... are hilarious. Keep it up dood.
Did you just steal something from someone else's comments?
Two somethings!
Oh dear.
/parody
Please don't hurt me...
1111967
Nah, I won't. I'm happy people enjoy our comments.
"Yeah! Because making ponies laugh is what we do best!"
"We're just awesome. No other way to put it."
"We just do our best to comment on the stories; the humor is just icing on the cake, as it were!"
"Indeed."
"I just...come to read, you know...?"
You're gonna have to beat that shyness eventually, Fluttershy.
"It's hard though..."
Well, that's what friends are for, right? You've got everybody here after all.
"Yeah!"
"We wouldn't letcha down, Fluttershy."
"Thanks..."
1112046
One error you made:
I think Rarity would be more likely to use 'as it were' than twilight, honestly.
But i'm glad you won't come after me.
1112241 (Balls. Well, I guess I trip up from time to time...Twilight spent her fair share of time in Canterlot, didn't she?)
1112246
Yeah, but she was also... (Music...)
Completely isolated from society at large!
Therefore she could not have picked up on common communication eccentricities such as 'as it were'!