• Member Since 15th Dec, 2014
  • offline last seen 6 hours ago

Soaring Symphony


I'm just a simple guy who loves reading (mostly MLP fanfics) and hopes to be a good writer myself someday and, hopefully, also get involved with music somehow (notice the microphone cutie mark).

Comments ( 31 )

All I ask is that you please leave a comment. Oh, for the love of God, leave a comment. There's no better way for me to know what I'm doing right and what I still need to work on. Any feedback is greatly appreciated.

I have to leave a tip of questionable quality now don't I?
It's pretty good so far and I'm surprised this at least hasn't gotten a bit more attention. Things are a little fast and there hasn't been much focus on anything besides the Clop and the spell. I'd say to focus more on the reasoning behind Pound starting to masterbate but that might just be me. The story has quite a bit of potential if the entirety isn't Clop just because there can be a lot of development for the twins. If it's just going to be porn then I think it'll wind up being fine as you seem to be a decent writer (I haven't read enough content you produce to determine how good, but based on these two chapters I'd say you're on the right path). There was some clunky wording but otherwise I enjoyed this chapter and thought it was enjoyable.

Definitely a good clopfic to me! It's certainly something I haven't seen before, so that's a big plus. And this may be just me, but I'm hoping there will be a biiit of an error in the separation spell. :twilightblush:
I'm way too into genital swaps for my own good!

Not the usual Cakecest.
I like it.

This was great.

Going forward, I would like to see them talking to each other about the differences between themselves, and how each other's body parts feels, as a stranger in each other's bodies.

8530666
Thanks for the complement dude. I appreciate it.

Btw

There was some clunky wording

Can you point to any specific examples of where you thought it came off as clunky? I'll gladly go back and edit.

8531333
I reread the chapter and I didn't really find anything that had clunky writing. I blame that comment on me being exhausted last night. However there were a few oddly specific things like

"Oooooooooohhh, damn, goddess, fuck yeeessss!!!!" they both moaned out loud.

and specifying that they both fell asleep at 11:55.

I'm hoping they will eventually do some self-fucking, like derpibooru
1037141
814041
Or perhaps thinking with portals,
599744

8531588
While that is a good idea, I've already got the whole fic planned out in my head and that's not part of it. For one thing, hard dicks can't bend like that. And about the portal idea, Pumpkin just had her first sexual experience and Pound has never used unicorn magic at all. I seriously doubt either of them would know a spell like that.

Besides, that idea already exist in another clopfic
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/355432/removable

Why would I want to write about something that someone else has already covered way better than I could? I don't mind writing clop, but I try to make it as original as possible.

No clop worked out well for me. It meant I could read it at work.

What if they end up not wanting to split up? What if someone at their school starts to develop an attraction to their fused self? There's a lot of different places this could go. I'll certainly be watching.

Never would have thought of that tbh, but I can see where it comes in at. Two minds sharing one body would wear on both minds, and if they get separated safely what would they be? If it's months or heavens above years before they get separated Pound and pumpkin may be used to being one pony. So after getting separated they would probably need therapy or someone to talk to.

Anyways great chapter and keep up the great work.

I believe I've already told you what I want to see going forward, but I'll repeat for good measure.

I would like them to talk about how they feel. The ways they're different from each other, physically and otherwise, and how alien each other's bodies feel to them. Hearing about their experience is one thing, but I want to have them discuss what it MEANS to them.

8542626
Don't worry. I have plans for that. I just haven't gotten to that point yet.

8542463
Thanks. I got the idea from Steven Universe. The way the concept of fusion works in that show, a fusion has it's own personality, distinct from the people who make it up. However, that personality doesn't always manifest right away, as seen in episodes such as "The Answer", "Alone Together", or even "Jailbreak" if you pay really close attention.

Btw, I plan to use "Alone Together" as the name of a future chapter. It's just too perfect an example of wordplay to not take advantage of.

On the bright side, you've got a shower scene to look forward to. That'll be fun.

in which Pound finds out why shower head is one of Pumpkins best friends:rainbowlaugh:

Yeah, soap makes for a pretty shitty sex toy. You know how it feels when it gets in your eyes? It doesn't feel a lot better on other sensitive tissues.

8573047 :twilightoops: Uh . . . thanks for that. I don't know if I should feel disturbed or if I should be laughing right now.

8573047
I'm not sure how it is for girls but it usually feels decent on my dick, so I don't know what you're talking about honestly.

8573310
Yeah, lady bits are a lottle bit more delicate than your cock. You—may wanna take note of that for the future.
8573280
Bubba, you're reading My Little Pony fetish porn. If you found what I wrote strange or disturbing y'all need to step back and think about your life for a second.

I think at this point, we need a picture of the merged twins.

8574503
If you'd volunteer to draw it, then go ahead. Otherwise, tough luck. I couldn't find such a picture anywhere and I can't draw for s**t.

Half of me wants this to continue as a legitimate story, the other just wants more smut. Can't wait to see how the others react to seeing a fused P n' P. I bet their individual friends will be like, wtf? And god forbid a bully picking on them for this. Also the homework, how would they distinguish who did homework? Or are both paying attention to the Same thing when one is, and the other can't tune it out. So many questions, such is the pain of an inquisitive mind.

I would love to see more of BOTH sides, story & smut. At least tell me You are doing alright??

8726513
Yeah, I'm fine. I'll try to write more of this fic, but between job searching, collage and general laziness, it might be awhile.

8728248
I'm just happy you are okay. :twilightsmile:

Just a friendly reminder that I really like this fic, and I look forward to seeing it continued/completed

So let me get this straight: you are anti gay, claiming it goes against your beliefs, yet you are fine writing foalcon incest? The fuck is wrong with you?

9456757
Dude, that post where I went on an anti-gay rant was from over almost two years ago . . . and it's cringey as hell.

Honestly, I don't really know what I was thinking back then. I don't actually have anything against gay people irl. However, as a straight man, gay porn does no appeal to me at all, and it makes me uncomfortable to be around that sort of thing irl too. Other people can do whatever they want, just please, not around me.

As for writing about foalcon cakecest . . . dude, it's a cartoon. I don't condone pedophilia or incest irl. But what can I say? cakecest is hot!!!

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