• Published 4th Nov 2017
  • 3,698 Views, 562 Comments

Inevitabilities - Sharp Quill



Nearly a year has passed since the events that had brought two realms together. Each had kept the other a secret until now, two worlds separated by a certain cartoon. Finally, both are ready to deal with the inevitable complications.

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13. A Perfectly Chaotic Explanation

This couldn’t be happening. Only once had Meg heard that name, when Twilight had come up with it on the fly in a futile attempt to keep her true identity a secret from Special Agent Holmes.

And now Tirek had just addressed her by it.

Meg was fairly certain he had been nowhere near that Nevada desert. It seemed equally absurd that Twilight had ever mentioned that name to him while showing him a picture of her pegasus self.

She looked up, straight into the centaur’s eyes. “I think you have me confused with somepony else.”

Tirek shifted to the side and examined her flank. “I think not,” he calmly said. “You have quite the distinctive cutie mark.” He rubbed his chin with a hand. “Though I never would have expected you to be in the company of a princess.”

And what the hell was that supposed to mean?

None of it made any sense. There was no way they could have met—

Oh shit.

No, she hadn’t encountered Tirek in his past—yet. The pit in her stomach grew as the inescapable conclusion sunk in.

Misinterpreting her discomfort, the centaur provided his own explanation. “Of course, I understand,” he said, keeping his voice low. “You did what you had to do to see me again, even if it meant burrowing in to the good graces of those princesses.”

What the heck had she—would she—tell him in the past? “You have no idea.”

“Perhaps it no longer matters.” He turned around and walked to the back of his cell. “My goals have changed, now that I’ve met those humans.”

Nope, nothing ominous about that. “How so?” she asked, digging for information. And why not? What could he do? And whatever it was she had done in his past—will have done in her future—he seemed to… not distrust her as a result.

“For centuries I’ve wasted away here. Even when allowed to stretch my legs… out there… there is no sunlight, no moonlight, no sky. Even something as simple as filling my lungs with air…” He gave her a surprisingly warm smile. “I shall forever be in your debt for breaking me out of this prison—”

What?!

He turned around. “Sunset Shimmer is not with you.”

Can it get any worse?

“No escaping Tartarus today, it appears,” he said, looking at her for confirmation.

She wasn’t sure how much longer she could keep it together. “I… I’m here with the princess, after all.”

He waved it off. “Yes, yes, of course.” He walked over to a mirror and stared at his reflection. “I was so blinded by my arrogance, by my thirst to avenge my endless imprisonment at Celestia’s hooves, I even betrayed Discord and stole his magic—or so I thought.”

“You thought?”

“Discord is not a pony,” he said. “He is his magic. He cannot be separated from it.” His head lowered. “He played me for a fool.”

Meg could only wonder if Twilight would feel the same. Hadn’t they been evenly matched in battle only because he stole—was lent—Discord’s magic? Lent just enough to make it even?

On the other hoof, Twilight was probably quite used to that feeling by now.

“So you see,” he continued, “even if, once more, you broke me out of here, what’s the point? With Discord on the side of the princesses and those accursed Element Bearers…” He let out a weary sigh. “There is nothing more for me here. I want only to return home, to my own world.” He walked back to her. “After so many millennia, it may finally be within my grasp.”

If that was his new goal… “Because you met those humans? How does that help?”

“Because for the first time in countless millennia, a portal exists!” He clenched a fist. “And it’s under the control of those alicorns.” He shot her a pleading look. “If you have any influence with them—”

Clopping sounds interrupted him. Meg’s ears focused on the source. It wasn’t only hooves that were approaching.

Now what?

There was much to discuss with Twilight, but not in the presence of her fellow humans—especially when two of them had the ears of the President. She wasn’t even sure she wanted to tell Twilight. What was she supposed to say? Remember when Tirek almost conquered Equestria? Guess who deliberately set him free.

And yet there was no way to travel years into the past without her assistance. And she had to talk Sunset Shimmer into helping her commit the prison break of the millennium—and speaking of which, how the hell were they supposed to pull that off?!

The approaching footsteps, humans and equine, got louder. It would have to wait—and besides, for all she knew it’d be months, even years, before she went back to break him out.

“You don’t know me,” she said in a hushed voice.

“Obviously.”

No further words were uttered. Meg looked to her side as the others arrived, with Twilight coming around the corner first. The alicorn didn’t look particularly eager to be there. Meg could only assume the others had wanted to see the infamous Lord Tirek. She backed up a bit to make room in front of the bars.

Whatever Tirek was going to say to Twilight was abandoned when he caught sight of those who accompanied her. “Humans who are not prisoners?” he asked, studying the agents with intense curiosity. Elaine had stayed back, just out of his sight.

Reubens and Fowler stood there impassively, not reacting to the centaur’s stare. A shadow of his former self he might have been, he was still considerably larger than an adult human.

“These two,” Twilight coldly informed him, “represent the government of the country to which those other humans belong.”

“Intriguing.” His lips curled up ever so slightly. “You seek an audience with me?”

Meg rolled her eyes. Whatever it was Lord Tirek wanted, he’d have better luck getting it if he dropped the entitled sovereign crap.

“We have no business with you,” Reubens said. “We’re here out of curiosity only.”

“You shall have it anyway,” he declared. “Do you have authority to negotiate a deal?”

If that caught Reubens off guard, he hid it well. “No.”

“Do you have the ears of those who do?”

Twilight snorted. “What game are you playing, Tirek? You are in no position to negotiate anything.”

He gave her the smile of a shark. “Are not games harmless, Your Highness? What is there to fear?”

“I don’t—I’m the one who put you in here, in case you’ve forgotten!”

“Indeed,” he said irritably enough. “And before you it was Celestia.”

“We’re in no rush to go anywhere,” Reubens said, “so I’ll play your game. Let’s say, in this game, that I do have the ears of those with the authority to negotiate. What do you want?”

Tirek straightened up, his soul inflating with true hope for the first time in ages. “I wish to return to Minoa, the land of my birth, to live out my remaining days.”

All were too stunned to speak.

Fowler broke the silence. “You, uh, should know there are no centaurs living there today, that there’s no physical evidence centaurs had ever lived there—or anywhere else on our world.”

“That surprises me not. Without the assistance of magic, a centaur would suffocate.” He tapped his human nose. “This cannot satisfy the needs of equine lungs.”

Reubens folded his arms across his chest. “Then your remaining days would be numbered indeed. I’m afraid I don’t understand the point of this game.”

Twilight’s horn glowed. She winced as it flickered out. “That type of magic won’t work here.” She looked up at Tirek. “But I don’t need magic to guess you were not born a centaur.”

He held a hand to his chest and gave a slight bow at the waist. “My true name is Androgeos, son of Minos, King of the Minoans. Once I was as human as these two, prior to my entrance into this magic-filled realm.”

“How did you cross over?” Twilight demanded.

Meg wondered if she was thinking the same thing Twilight was thinking: Discord.

The centaur laughed. “It would appear I’m in a position to negotiate something after all.”


Through the Gates of Tartarus, Twilight welcomed the sight of the Zephyr. The farther away she could get from that monster, the better. He might have been human once, but since taking the name Lord Tirek he had committed numerous atrocities. And now he possessed something she wanted dearly: knowledge.

Passing through the widely spaced bars of the gates, they returned to the realm of Equestria. A half dozen Royal Guards, all highly trained unicorns, were patrolling the ledge. As unlikely as another prisoner escape might have been, the Zephyr made for an excellent escape vehicle.

Twilight teleported to the ship’s just-deployed gangway, tasting the freedom of unrestricted magic. Even the human realm permitted teleportation; odd how Tartarus had a magical field yet permitted so much less. True, it made for an excellent prison, but why was it the way it was? Maybe she should allow some human scientists to study its physics.

A guard by the gangway quickly scanned her, then returned his attention to the others approaching. Neither changeling nor other camouflage magic worked in Tartarus, and the guards had observed them as they had passed through the gates, but one could never be too sure. It was all by the book.

She turned back to the others, who were hurrying to catch up. “Sorry,” she said. “I just couldn’t resist.”

Meg caught up first, landing next to her, and got scanned in turn. “I get it. I hadn’t felt like that trying to fly since the—” She caught herself, eyeing Elaine approaching. “—you know what.” The pegasus had tried flying through a tunnel on the way back, with predictable results.

The two ponies waited on the gangway. Two of the guards intercepted the humans via teleportation and scanned them, then proceeded to escort them back to the ship. The three remaining guards teleported directly to the gangway.

Once the humans had reached them, Twilight went inside. The guards remained outside, and would stay outside until they were ready to depart. She retracted the gangway and closed the door for added protection; these guards could all teleport inside.

“I can take you all back now,” she began, “but I imagine we have things to talk about first.” By unspoken agreement, none had brought up the subject on the way back.

Agent Reubens stood in front of a window, staring at the desolate valley below. “Obviously we have no jurisdiction over Tirek or Tartarus, so that’s your decision alone to make. Would he be welcome on Earth? That’s… an interesting question.”

“He could do the convention circuit,” Elaine suggested. “Could make a lot of money that way—assuming he behaves himself—and if people believe the human they see is really him.”

“He does represent living history,” Fowler said. “Not much is known about the Minoans. Their written language has yet to be deciphered. King Minos himself is practically myth; he’s supposed to be a son of the Greek God Zeus, and he also… allegedly had a minotaur in his labyrinth.”

“Minotaur…” Meg said. “Literally translated as the Bull of Minos.”

“Yes… and probably he has knowledge of how that minotaur got to your realm—and certainly of how he got to ours.” Twilight sat on her haunches and looked up to Fowler. “How long ago would you say?” Tirek had refused to offer even that small detail for free.

She looked up in thought. “Three thousand years, minimum, maybe closer to four?”

“Possibly even older.” Meg was using her phone, tapping its screen with a hoof-attached stylus. “The earliest signs of Minoan civilization date back forty-five hundred years. Androgeos was one of the sons of Minos, for what it’s worth. Supposedly he was murdered in Athens; there are conflicting stories as to how.” She looked up. “But this is mythology, not history.”

So much knowledge, so effortlessly retrieved. If only that wasn’t counterbalanced by real dangers, as she had learned the hard way. Twilight now had a dedicated computer for accessing the human internet, one she could afford to lose to the occasional malware infestation.

“All the more reason to go with earlier rather than later,” Fowler said. “Even so, mythology often has a kernel of historical truth in it. For example, the Trojan War was once considered myth, but then the remains of Troy were discovered.”

“Or Nightmare Moon,” Twilight added. “Everypony once insisted that was a myth.” Though to be fair, she had to concede, that had been quite deliberate on Celestia’s part.

“Aren’t you all forgetting something?” Elaine asked. “He wants to go back to the land of his birth. He can’t; it no longer exists. It’s just a bunch of ancient ruins now. Yeah, sure, he can go there, but does he really want to spend his remaining days mingling with archaeologists and tourists?”

That was Tirek’s problem, as far as Twilight was concerned. Once she turned him back into a human and returned him to his realm—if she agreed to this—there wasn’t much he could do if it didn’t live up to his expectations. He should know already anyway, since he had been talking to the human prisoners.

“And that’s assuming he’s not playing us,” Reubens said, “that he’s not just repeating what he learned from the others.”

In hindsight, perhaps it hadn’t been such a good idea to put them next to each other after all.

“Could that really be what’s happening?” Meg asked. “Knowing about King Minos is one thing, but about his children? Sure, one of them might be that into Greek mythology, but it sure isn’t likely.”

In other words, the odds were that Tirek was telling the truth. Twilight never would have guessed he originated from the human realm. If Celestia or Discord had known, neither had volunteered that information. “Nothing is being decided here,” she finally said. “For now, figure out if you’re willing to take him and, if so, under what conditions.”

Reubens nodded. “I’ll bring it to the President’s attention. I’m sure we can figure out some way to determine if he’s who he claims to be.”

Twilight nodded. That needed to be ascertained before all else. “Elaine, remember that this is all covered under your Pinkie Promise.”

“I was afraid of that,” she muttered.

“I’m sure the President would appreciate your cooperation in this matter,” Fowler said.

“Yeah, I get it.”

Twilight turned her attention to Meg.

“I’ll go back with you to Ponyville,” the pegasus said. “I want to check up on Susie.”


Meg had spent most of the trip back to Ponyville staring out the panoramic windows. There hadn’t been that much to talk about—what she had been willing to talk about. It turned out that Eric had not volunteered anything after she had left, even after being informed of the sonic barrier. It wasn’t really surprising; after all, they had all been questioned individually before being sent to Tartarus.

And Tirek had refused to volunteer anything beyond his true identity, to Twilight’s increasing frustration. Tirek, thankfully, had also kept silent on his relationship with “Common Ground.” When Twilight had asked what they had talked about in private, Meg had given her a highly abridged version.

Nor had Meg given her all her reasons for accompanying her back to Ponyville.

Less than an hour had passed when the ship touched down behind the castle. The first course of action was to pay Sweet Apple Acres a visit. That had been the reason she gave Twilight, so she might as well do it first. Then she’d be free to seek out Discord.

The door opened and the gangway deployed. No sooner did Meg exit the Zephyr that she was accosted by a bouncing pink pony. “See?” Pinkie exclaimed. “Told ya she’d be here!”

Meg did not bother asking how Pinkie would know that, considering that she herself hadn’t decided until the last moment to remain in Equestria. When she looked up into the air, she saw who Pinkie was talking to. “You wanted to see me?” she asked Derpy.

“It’s about Dinky’s birthday party,” Pinkie answered for her.

“Okay?” Meg looked back and forth between the two ponies, not sure to which one she was supposed to be talking.

“What about it?” Twilight asked.

Derpy landed in front of the princess. “I’m sorry to bother you about this, but I want to make my little muffin happy, and…”

“What better way to make her happy than have a human attend her birthday party!”

Twilight looked askance at her friend. “Pinkie, could you follow me?” She began walking without looking back. The pink pony bounced after her.

That left Meg alone with Derpy; the other two hadn’t gone very far, but Twilight had put up a sonic barrier around herself and Pinkie Pie.

“Do you really want to do this?” Meg asked. “I know how you feel about it.”

“I dunno.” Derpy scraped the grass with a hoof. “You’d choose a human who was safe, right?”

“That goes without saying.” And this could be an opportunity to get Susie out of Sweet Apple Acres for a few hours.

“I just wish I knew what the deal was with humans.” The mailmare looked into her eyes, as best she could. “Why does it have to be a secret?”

Meg wished she could be somewhere else. “It’s not my place to answer that,” she said. “Look, I can talk to Twilight about it, but you’ll have to Pinkie Promise to secrecy—and I can’t guarantee that knowing will make you happier.”

“Speaking of Pinkie…”

Whatever arguments Twilight was throwing at her, it was leaving Pinkie unfazed. With an exasperated roll of her eyes, Twilight broke the sonic barrier and walked back to the two pegasi, Pinkie pronking alongside her.

“How about a human child, a young girl?” Meg suggested, preempting whatever Twilight was about to say.

“Without her parents?” Derpy asked. “You can arrange that?”

Twilight paused before answering. “There’s… uh, it might be possible?”

“Also,” Meg continued, “and I only present this as an option, Your Highness, but Derpy has expressed a willingness to be Pinkie Promised to secrecy if it would allow her to learn what the, uh, deal was with humans.”

Twilight looked at Meg, then at Pinkie, and finally at Derpy. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea, Derpy. There are reasons those details are being withheld.”

“Would this human child already know who I am? Who Dinky is?”

“That’s one of the reasons,” Twilight reluctantly admitted.

Pinkie put a hoof on Twilight’s shoulder. “You can’t keep it a secret forever. Then what?”

Twilight looked at Pinkie. Maybe it was her imagination, but Meg could have sworn she cringed.

“If… I was to ask this human child how she knows who I am, what would she tell me?”

Not helping, Derpy.

Everypony looked at Twilight.

“I’ll have to think about it,” was all she could say.

“You could start with just me?” Derpy asked, almost begging.

Twilight sighed. “The last time I tried, you wanted nothing to do with it.”

Derpy definitely cringed. “Maybe I was wrong?”

“I’ll think about it,” Twilight said, “but for now there are other matters I have to attend to.” She teleported away.

Pinkie beamed. “Luckily for you, Twilight’s good at thinking!”

“Okay…?”

Meg spread her wings. “I have something to take care of too.”

“Wait.”

She remained on the ground, wings ready for takeoff.

“Those humans who wanted to meet me… would that still be possible? If Twilight says yes, that is…”

“Uh… maybe?” Meg lowered her wings, so many questions racing through her mind. “I mean, it’s not impossible, but there could be, uh, complications?”

“Think of them as… surprises!” Pinkie chirped.

“Yeah, sure, surprises, why not,” Meg flatly said. “I really need to get going.”

Without waiting for any response, she took off. As she circled around the castle to the south, gaining altitude, she decided to make a quick detour to Fluttershy’s cottage. The odds of Discord being there were slim—that’d be too easy—but at least she could leave a message for him.

A few minutes later, she was circling the cottage as she descended. Fluttershy was outside, by the chicken coop. There was no sign of Discord or of anything particularly chaotic going on. Leave a message, then.

“Hey, Fluttershy,” she said once she had gotten close enough. “Got a minute?”

The Element of Kindness was spreading seeds about the ground. Numerous chickens pecked away with enthusiasm. “If you don’t mind me feeding the chickens. They really are quite hungry.”

“Sure, no problem.” Meg figured it’d be best to stay in the air and out of the chickens’ way. “Would you happen to know where Discord is right now?”

Fluttershy paused.

“No, he didn’t do anything wrong,” Meg quickly added. “I just need to ask him about something.”

Another hoof full of seeds scattered across another patch of ground. “I really should have more faith in him by now, I suppose. He really is trying.” She tossed another hoof full of seeds.

“I’m sure he is,” Meg said agreeably enough, not wishing to argue the point. “Do you know where he is?”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t.”

“Could you let him know I’m looking for him, the next time you see him?”

“I’ll do that.”

“Thanks. I appreciate that.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be more helpful,” Fluttershy said to the departing pegasus.

Meg banked until she was aimed at Sweet Apple Acres, then climbed until she could make out the homestead. She hadn’t expected to run into him, true, but when would he get the message? Possibly not until next week’s tea party. And when he does get it, how would the meeting be arranged?

She shook her head. “That’s the least of my problems,” she said to the air flowing past her. He would show up when it was least convenient. He was surprisingly predictable that way.

Then there was Sunset Shimmer. She was spending plenty of time on Earth, so it shouldn’t be too hard to have a private conversation with her. But what do I say to her? That was the real problem, besides figuring out how the hell were they supposed to break him out of Tartarus without leaving telltale evidence behind. Yet they had, if Tirek was to be believed.

So which was less impossible? That Tirek was telling the truth, or that he had somehow known that he would be visited by “Common Ground” and had that bullshit story all ready to go, a bullshit story she could only have perceived as bullshit—and would have, too, if not for the time travel. Which he couldn’t have known about. Like he couldn’t have known about “Common Ground.” But he did.

The homestead approached. She wasn’t going to solve the Tirek riddle. For now she put it aside.

Nopony was visible, but hammering sounds emanated from the open barn doors. Meg descended and hovered outside. Inside, Big Mac was assembling a new barrel. She drifted towards him. “Hey, Big Mac. Know where Susie is?”

He put the hammer in his mouth down. “Eeyup,” he drawled. “In the clubhouse, with Apple Bloom.”

“Thanks.”

The sounds of hammering resumed as she flew out of the barn. Into the orchards she went, through the rows of apple trees, until she came upon the clubhouse, nestled under the branches of an ancient apple tree.

She came to a hover outside a curtained window. Voices, oddly muffled, came through. The words were unintelligible, but there was no doubt they belonged to Susie and the Crusaders. Something exciting was going on.

And she suspected magic was responsible for that muffling. Mere glass and curtains couldn’t do that. Ignoring the question of how they got their hooves on such magic—one might as well ask how Pinkie Sense works—that they were using it couldn’t bode well.

It’s probably okay, she assured herself. They were having fun, after all, not panicking. She flew around to the front and landed in front of the door. She decided against knocking; if something fishy was going on, with Susie in there she had to know about it.

She opened the lockless door.

There, in the middle of the clubhouse, were Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo—and a fourth pony? “Where’s Susie?” Meg asked. “I know I heard her.”

The extra pony, a pegasus with a sea-green mane and ocean-blue coat, cringed and tried to hide behind the other three, who looked no less guilty. But guilty of what?

A head bearing mismatched red-on-yellow eyes slid around from behind the open door. “There’s a perfectly chaotic explanation, I can assure you.” A halo appeared over his head.

Meg looked between Discord and the mysterious pegasus with growing horror.

She face hoofed. Hard.

“What am I going to tell your father, Susie?”