• Member Since 15th Aug, 2017
  • offline last seen 9 hours ago

NeoLuna


I march into the night, Blade and Quill in hoof, ready to serve The Princess of The Night and write stuff...

T

Laser Pointers are banned in Equestria, and if one is found its owner will not be getting a trial, parole, or a phone call. Why, well they kind of mind control bat ponies into acting like lemmings if it means catching that weird red dot.

WARNING!!! MLP MOVIE SPIOLERS!!!

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 14 )

Short, yet funny and enjoyable. I like it!

Run this through a quick grammar check and then all will be right in the world. But besides the few grammar mistakes I found it was great! (The mental image of the thestrals acting like cats was hilarious)

8516507
could you point them out for me plz?

8516795
OWR and SWAER

And why give this a downvote!? Why?

Upvote for Twilight's declaration at the end of chapter 1. :rainbowlaugh:

A few typos. You didn't always captialize "Spike" or "Ponyville." Also, safest to capitalize both words of "Twilight's Castle" because it is being used as a proper noun.

Comment posted by Lesolan - Rest In Peace deleted Oct 30th, 2017

And that's how Equestria was made!:pinkiehappy:

Pfft.... HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

A click was heard, instantly followed by a tiny red dot appearing on the chalk board.

It has begun.

I am a Chinese brony.I like your fiction,How Laser-Pointers got banned in Equestria,and wish others could enjoy it.So I hope that I can get your permission to translate it.I promise that I will note the original writer and the original URL.Also,I won't use it for commercial purposes.
I am looking forward to your reply at your earliest convenience.

9855095
Wise words, my friend. If these bat ponies act anything like cats with laser pointers, I am going to squee.

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Angel Midnight
9855095
Wise words, my friend. If these bat ponies act anything like cats with laser pointers, I am going to squee.

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Well, this was a nice short and funny read. I think I'm now going to be afraid anytime I use a laser pointer :rainbowlaugh: As others have pointed out, there's a load of typos, capitalisation errors, and I noticed quite a bunch of punctuation errors. I can show you how to deal with these, if you want :twilightsmile:

"Sister, I-I had to hoof in this" stammered Luna. "YEA RIGHT! Of course you did!

Hadn't a hoof I take it. Plus what everyone else said in the comments. It's okay with most of the jokes landing.

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