• Member Since 22nd Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen Sep 9th, 2013

Licorice Twist


T

We've been together through good times and bad
You've always been there for me
I'll always treasure the best friends I have
Eternally...

Fluttershy has lived a nice, long life in Ponyville caring for animals, and her friends. She has grown old and watched as her friends passed on, until she was the last one left. Fluttershy heads to the cemetery to visit her friends and remember the past.

This was an idea posted by Church in his ideas group, thanks for letting me take it!

(Lyrics from "Only A Memory A Way" as it's rather fitting)

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 20 )

Dare I read about sad Flutters?
Alas, I do not :fluttershysad:

Hmmm...? Incomplete?

*Checks blog post again*
"and now the first chapter is on its way"

So this won't be a one-shoot, or am I wrong? :fluttershysad:
I would like to see how it will continue, since most stories like this are one-shots. (Well 100% of which I read at least. :twilightblush:)

PS:
Thanks for the :ajsmug: :heart: :rainbowdetermined2: !!

Well... *stares at the screen for about ten more minutes* That's... sad...
I can only say: "Life Happened."

R.I.P Lightning Crash, dies in sadness and joy... *Thank you for making this.... sadness came back to haunt me!* :raritycry:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fmChBxMxRiA&feature=plcp Here's a little music for this story--

Not sure exactly how to feel about this one. I must commend for at least having proper grammar, but the storytelling itself is a bit lacking. Conceptually it's not a bad story, albeit one that many have tried to do before, but overall I feel it is making light of a sad situation. Fluttershy is described well, but I'd watch the voice of other characters. Twilight wouldn't say 'hi guys' she would address them as girls or perhaps at this point in their lives, ladies. RD seems to just rattle off lines from the show, which is always something that should be avoided unless handled delicately. And Pinkie... Well she is still random, but she lacks silly, and even goes dark at the end.
Zap Apple is a cute idea, even though he's a Gary Sue. Also, some of the interaction between him and Fluttershy comes off as a bit... romantic. And something tells me that you didn't intend that.
Keep working hard. You've got a lot of thoughts about this piece, I'm sure, and it has the potential to be really great. Good luck! :moustache:

1050812 You forgot one other big plot hole, no Spike. Everyone's parting ways, and, for some strange reason, Spike just isn't there, or even mentioned.

I'll have to Read this later, when I have some spare time. Sounds like a good one. BTW the song "Only A Memory A Way", that wouldn't happen to be the one used in Sailor Moon now would it? :rainbowhuh: As soon as I saw the title and then read the lyrics, it was the first thing that came to mind. :twilightsmile:

1050983
Mane SIX buddy. I don't care about Spike. No one does. Except you.
Just kidding, yeah I guess there's a lack of Spike, but I generally don't notice those things because I honestly don't care what happens to him. I should though, for the sake of critique.

1051011 Yeah, you're a horrible person like that. Just deciding Spike shouldn't' exist, and then letting him not. And actually, Spike is officially listed in the main cast, not supporting characters.

I guess all the stuff I could mention about how to help your story was already mentioned up there ^
But as for the rest, I really enjoyed reading this, and I'm looking forward to future chapters. I'm guessing this is gonna be a two-parter, three at most, which I think would be best if you're gonna have Fluttershy pass on peacefully at the cemetary. I'll be pleasantly surprised though if that's not the case and you have something else in mind. Either way, you've got me hooked :)

1051043
Like I care about your 'canon' cast! Silly writer. If Spike wants to be included so bad, he should have been born a pony. :rainbowlaugh:
Yeah, you're right. I should stop hassling you before you go back to creatively planning out my demise.

... Crackle is best dragon!

THE TEARS!!! THE TEARS!! :raritycry::raritycry:

1051106 Hey, I think my party cannon is jammed. Mind sticking your head in there and checking.

1050661
Yeah, it's going to be multi-chapter. :twilightsmile: And you're welcome, haha. I have a hard time seeing them with anyone else.

1050812
There's a difference between romantic and affectionate. I look at it as more affectionate without the romance part. Pinkie can get dark sometimes, but it was supposed to be a dark without realizing or having any idea why it would be dark. I figure she's a bit older by this point, so would still have a lot of random but perhaps a little less silly. And no offense, but it sounds like you're thowing "Gary Sue" out there without having any idea what it actually means.

1050983
Good catch. He'll be worked into a later chapter. :moustache:

1050984
Yep, the Sailor Moon song. :yay:

1051099
I'm looking at about one chapter per friend. And leave it to you to read my bloody mind >_< RUINED! lol

Ugh. All I needed to get sad was the title and the description, the actual story is near overwhelming.
But I'm glad you didn't make it so when Applejack and Rainbow Dash are into each other, you didn't go overboard with it.
But overall, this story already has my emotions churning. :fluttercry:
I'm putting this in my read later.

1051149
I understand why you'd say that about the Gary Sue thing, but I only meant it's bordering on that territory whenever you introduce a character with any sort of trait that makes them stand out (i.e. a rainbow colored mane). Sorry that I was unclear with that comment.

I also didn't mean it was outright affectionate, and I agree with how you meant to portray things and that is what I saw. Only meant that I can see it being interpreted differently by some readers.

and THIS is why i will be the first to die among my friends...you can count on that:rainbowdetermined2:
probly around the age of 36 i dont wanna grow old and brittle

1051549
The rainbow mane is hereditary. :rainbowkiss: But the next chapter will touch on that. :eeyup:

Well well, I see this has come to light.

Now I have yet more things to read.

When will your 2nd chapter be released? I'm dying here!
*Thor reference*
MORE CHAPTERS! *breaks coffee mug*
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