• Member Since 14th Mar, 2017
  • offline last seen 15 hours ago

UndeadSketches


Welcome to the Cemetery. I will be your guide.

T

A letter warning Celestia to stop the Gala. A list of names targeted for death. Sherclop Holmes and Dr. Trotson is on the case!
(Disclaimer: This Sherlock will be like the one from Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's original mysteries, not the one from the Elementary series, just letting you know. :twilightsheepish:)

Chapters (8)
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Comments ( 27 )

Surprisingly rather well written! It does very much feel like actual Sherlock Holmes stories, but I'd adwise to build the world a little more, because otherwise, the reader has no mental image of the world around the characters and it feels a little empty. Besides that, very good read! :twilightsmile:

8531968
Thank You! I will keep your advice in mind! :pinkiesmile:

Nice to see a more classical view of Sherlock. Much as people love the BBC show, I feel Sherlock's tactlessness is overdone in that version.

8580003
Thank you for the compliment!

Who made the picture?

Comment posted by UndeadSketches deleted Dec 3rd, 2017

8586559
This pictures was taken from the episode, A Hearth Warming's Tail.

saw the title and thought CLOP STORY

8664054
try changing it to sherbuck holmes

8664055
Hmm, someone has a very dirty mind...:trixieshiftright:

Honestly, Doyle’s Sherlock > Elementary.
Nobody beats the OG

8878112
Of that, you are correct. :twilightsmile:

Please continue this!

I feel this has to be well thought out and written, and it helps having a Sherlock Holmes base on this site.

9291862
Thank you! :pinkiehappy:
And, yes, having a Sherlock Holmes group really helped me out.

Interesting beginning, I’m looking forward to your take on Sir Doyle’s work. This chapter could use a little slower pace to work better, but what you have is sufficient.

9784823
Thank you! :pinkiehappy:
I shall keep your advice in mind.

An interesting mix of the Sherlock Holmes stories and the BBC series—most obvious in the fact that Trotson refers to Sherclop by his first name rather than surname as it was in the original works. As vetalurg said, it’d be nice to also include some descriptions of the characters’ surroundings. Not only makes it the story more lively and “three-dimentional”, but also closer to the original. Also, I have to wonder, what was the purpose of the flashback scene?

I hope to see the next chapter soon, I’m curious who this mystery mare’s gonna be. Noticed some typos here and there, can read through again and report them to you if you want :) Also, one thing that I have noticed is that you sometimes tend to add actions such as yawning or sighing into dialogue lines. That might be acceptable in theatre play transcripts, but not in literature.

9786066
The main purpose of the flashback scene was to establish Sherclop's eccentricity and to show where the friendship of Trotson and Sherclop started off.
This is my first story, so I appreciate the constructive advice! :twilightsmile:

9786140
That would be very helpful! :pinkiehappy:
Grammer never be one of my strongest suits. :derpytongue2:
Most of the things I write are skits and plays, so I am used to having to write those things in. Thanks for the advice!

9786884
And why exactly do you need to show how their friendship started off? What does it contribute to the plot? Also, can you not establish his eccentricity without a flashback—in other words, if he was eccentric in the past, he should be so now as well.
9786891
I’ll try to send those to you soon then :pinkiesmile:

9787431
At the time, I thought the flashback would give an extra bit of background for these characters. Admittedly, I do wish I had left it out, seeing as most people reading this already had a general idea of Sherlock and Watson's original backstory before going into it.
But, you know. Hindsight is twenty twenty and all that.

9787543
Well, it’s definitely good to know for your future stories. And a word of an experience author and editor—the flashback wouldn’t be necessary even if people didn’t know the characters’ backstory, for in this case, the characters’ origins are not important at all :pinkiesmile:

A rather short chapter, but it’s nice to see this story continue :pinkiesmile:

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