• Member Since 31st Dec, 2016
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

Texas Style Brony


Became a brony in early 2016. Other interests include God, guns, and guitars

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Source

Life was going great for Rarity. She had a thriving business that sprawled in three cities, and she was preparing for a grand photo shoot for the most beautiful manes in all of Equestria, but then she took that potion....

When her friends notice how distressed Rarity has become, they call upon Equestria's only human to cheer her up.

Minor edits may be incorporated until 11/24/17.

Story written for CategoricalGrant's Cuddlefic Contest!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 6 )

Ha! How adorable! <3

8525494
Yeah this was one of my story suggestions to you! Guess I gotta do it myself! :trixieshiftright:

Well, ummmm......... :facehoof:
I see you have been getting some writing exercise and I am somewhat surprised I haven't seen this till now......

Aye, I will agree with CategoricalGrant, this fict is "cute":twilightsheepish:

Though I would like to provide a tide bit of constructive criticism. You may notice, well....:twilightblush:, that is reads like a porno. Not in the sense that it is immoral, but in the sense that things are overly convenient and planned. :applejackunsure:You may have heard it said that the characters should write the story. This statement is true in the sense that if you want a truly believable and relatable story, then you must use truly believable and relatable characters and throw them into a situation and write the story based on how those characters would act in that situation, rather than how you want them too. Now, I am not saying you should go and rewrite what you already have written(or am I?:trixieshiftright:); I am instead advising you to try this in your future writing.

Good luck, "Tom" :twilightsmile:
And remember,
Read:derpyderp1:
Write :derpyderp2:
Rewrite:derpytongue2:

So this fared well in the contest. You should submit it to the Reviewers Cafe.

I'd try helping but likely end up laughing at her. I'd feel horrible.

it's considered immoral for a man to go into a woman's room when the two aren't... together

Im 31 years old and Ive literally never heard that before

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