• Member Since 25th Sep, 2017
  • offline last seen 5 minutes ago

PuzzleMaster98


Hello everyone!! Wanted to let you know that i have accounts on Furaffinity and Fanfiction under the name PuzzleMaster1998. I love doing puzzles, adore foxes, and favorite villain is Chrysalis.

Comments ( 99 )

I love this story, great job and can't wait for the story to be completed

8516212
Thanks! It took me a whole week to write this story. Any suggestions or requests for the story?

Hmm interesting. A little fast and your making the OC a little OP but other wise it is fine.

8516225
Yeah, but all he knows so far is a transformation spell and a levitation spell.

8516228
True but he is in a library full of books that contain magic spells and it seems he learns them almost instantly.

8516231
He is like me in the fact that I can learn things pretty fast if not bothered.

8516235
True that some people are like that but with him being an Alicorn plus and Unknown Element that added with the other elements can defeat things stronger then an Alicorn which is one of the strongest beings on the planet. People will soon see how Over powered he is.

8516240
True, but wait till poison joke hits him.

Oh god... I think that is what's gonna give him being an Alicorn away.

8516353
Thanks. I have more of the story planned in my head. Its one thing to have it in your head, but its another thing to actually write out the story. I had these 2 chapters planned for 3 months.

I cant wait for more. Love this story

8516523
Why thank you. I have been imagining for at least 4 months.

You’re descriptions are good, story seems a bit fast pace though you also might need to do more character development they seem to be to excepting of the situation Without questioning itBut I understand it simply want to rush past this beginning of the story

8516823
Thanks for the tips. Ill be sure to develop the rest of the characters as the story progresses.

8516872
I'm going to. I just need to figure out which event am I going to do next. Should I do the Gala Tickets, or the Boast Busters? That's my dilemma.

Comment posted by Oops door deleted Oct 29th, 2017

If you go in chronological order the story will progress slower but you may have more time to make the story more developed every time skip give May rush things too quickly depending on how you write them it depends on how long you want to story to run for you, do you follow the events in which the order as they happen it doesn’t mean you have to make the outcome the same you can change it since it’s simply as your story

Hey you could always watch the seasons to get some ideas I know that sounds dumb but yeah

8516947
Honestly, do you think I should do an interlude or a time skip before the chapter about the Gala Tickets? I'm kind of leaning towards the interlude.

8516881
Honestly it depends on how closely you want to follow the story if you want to completely change the outcome of all the events in between the gala and now that I advise you not to do the time skip if it’s going to be exactly the same with little to no changes then go for it unless you simply want to do some character development instead in between that and the Gala

8518071
Thanks. I'm going to change things around. I know for a fact that I am definitely going to be changing the Canterlot Wedding a bit. I am also going to be r63ing a few ponies.

8518071
Also, I want my readers to see what my first real day in Ponyville is like. There will be clop coming up soon, but not before Zecora appears. And I'm probably going to need help with the clop.

Wasn’t this chapter already released

8518669
Next chapter is about my first day living in Ponyville. I will do more character development in that chapter.

I find the lack of details annoying…

Seriously, you need to write in more details. And I mean that for pretty much everything in this story. From the dialogue, to the actions taken, to the descriptions — EVERYTHING needs more detail. The fact that there's so little makes this whole story feel kinda half-assed.

I'm not saying this to be mean, but merely speaking my mind and opinion on the matter, as well as trying to give advice to a fellow author.

8518800
I understand. Can you give me a specific place fro an example? I will work on it. Don't worry.

8518807
I'm going to be giving a Before-and-After type example, so sit back — this could take awhile.

8518817
is there a problem with the prologue? Or is it the only chapter that is ok?

8518818
Before:

I blinked a few times at that, trying to make sense of the situation, but failed to do so. I then turned my attention to the dragon and the unicorn who were walking away from the square.

"Hey!! Wait up!" I shouted as I ran to catch up with them.

They stopped and looked back at me. They waited till I caught up, and then we talked.

"Sorry about that!" I said. "I was wondering if I could hang out with you guys for the day. I'm new to this town, and I was wondering if I could walk with you. Where are my manners!! My name is Gavin Henson."

I stuck my hoof out upon saying my name. The dragon shook with me and introduced himself as Spike, and the unicorn as Twilight Sparkle. Spike told me that it would be fine if I went with them, while Twilight huffed in annoyance. I noticed this, but I thanked them for their kindness.

After:

I couldn't help but blink — once, twice, thrice — trying and failing to make sense of what just transpired. Eventually just deciding to deem it as shenanigans, I turned my attention to the unicorn/dragon duo, whom had regained their bearings and were now walking in the opposite direction. “Oh wait — Hey, wait up!” I called out to them as I galloped after them.

Turning to see who had called out to them, the two spotted me hurrying after them and stopped, waiting for me to catch up. The unicorn looked annoyed at having to stop, while the dragon seemed to welcome my approach. I slowed to a stop once I had gotten close enough. “Sorry about that,” I apologized, smiling sheepishly. “I was just wondering if I could hang with you guys for today.”

The unicorn raised an eyebrow at that. “Um… why would you want to hang out with us?” she inquired.

“I'm new in town,” I replied, “and I figured that it would be nice to walk with someone else that was new around these streets, like you guys.”

She tilted her head. “And you are…?”

Grinning sheepishly, I scratched the back of my head with a hoof. “Ah! Where are my manners? My name is Gavin Henson,” I introduced myself, offering my hoof in greeting.

The dragon shook my hoof. “Nice to meet you, Gavin,” he greeted warmly. “I'm Spike, and the grumpy unicorn right here is Twilight Sparkle.” Said unicorn merely huffed in irritation, ignoring the offered hoof. I noted that she didn't seem very interested in tagalongs, or making friends in general from her behavior. “And I don't really mind if you tag along, so feel free to join us!” Spike offered.

I smiled, giving a nod. “Thank you, Spike.”

8518901
...........Would you like to be my editor???

8518909
Sadly I can't. I have my own stories to work on, the most prominent being a Darkness story I promised to have published by Halloween. I am thankful for the offer, though. :twilightsmile:

I have a suggestion do what some other writers do summarize episodes and what that character did in the flash back durong sometimw.in the chapter. Or have him gone somewhere during that chapter

Do u realize I repeat ureslf in some places just letting u know

So far i like it can't wait to read more.

Definitely ticket master first. It will give Gavin and Twi some bonding time. Great story so far and I can't wait to read more.

8522937
Have to think of a name. I'm thinking empathy.

8523023
No cadence is love. Empathy is being able to understand and share the feelings of others.

8521248
Thanks so much!! Its my first story ever.

Element, Element, Element, what shall ye be? Hmm? Empathy? Courage? Or maybe even justice perhaps?

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