- Member Since 25th Sep, 2017
- offline last seen 5 minutes ago
PuzzleMaster98
Hello everyone!! Wanted to let you know that i have accounts on Furaffinity and Fanfiction under the name PuzzleMaster1998. I love doing puzzles, adore foxes, and favorite villain is Chrysalis.
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- Lunasservant1985 · 1.7k words · 35 12 · 1.9k views
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I love this story, great job and can't wait for the story to be completed
8516212
Thanks! It took me a whole week to write this story. Any suggestions or requests for the story?
Hmm interesting. A little fast and your making the OC a little OP but other wise it is fine.
8516225
Yeah, but all he knows so far is a transformation spell and a levitation spell.
8516228
True but he is in a library full of books that contain magic spells and it seems he learns them almost instantly.
8516231
He is like me in the fact that I can learn things pretty fast if not bothered.
8516235
True that some people are like that but with him being an Alicorn plus and Unknown Element that added with the other elements can defeat things stronger then an Alicorn which is one of the strongest beings on the planet. People will soon see how Over powered he is.
8516240
True, but wait till poison joke hits him.
Oh god... I think that is what's gonna give him being an Alicorn away.
8516246
Maybeeee. Just have to wait and see.
Good story so far.
8516353
Thanks. I have more of the story planned in my head. Its one thing to have it in your head, but its another thing to actually write out the story. I had these 2 chapters planned for 3 months.
I cant wait for more. Love this story
8516523
Why thank you. I have been imagining for at least 4 months.
You’re descriptions are good, story seems a bit fast pace though you also might need to do more character development they seem to be to excepting of the situation Without questioning itBut I understand it simply want to rush past this beginning of the story
8516823
Thanks for the tips. Ill be sure to develop the rest of the characters as the story progresses.
Please continue
8516872
I'm going to. I just need to figure out which event am I going to do next. Should I do the Gala Tickets, or the Boast Busters? That's my dilemma.
If you go in chronological order the story will progress slower but you may have more time to make the story more developed every time skip give May rush things too quickly depending on how you write them it depends on how long you want to story to run for you, do you follow the events in which the order as they happen it doesn’t mean you have to make the outcome the same you can change it since it’s simply as your story
Hey you could always watch the seasons to get some ideas I know that sounds dumb but yeah
its bad so badhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2k0SmqbBIpQ
8516947
Honestly, do you think I should do an interlude or a time skip before the chapter about the Gala Tickets? I'm kind of leaning towards the interlude.
8516881
Honestly it depends on how closely you want to follow the story if you want to completely change the outcome of all the events in between the gala and now that I advise you not to do the time skip if it’s going to be exactly the same with little to no changes then go for it unless you simply want to do some character development instead in between that and the Gala
8518071
Thanks. I'm going to change things around. I know for a fact that I am definitely going to be changing the Canterlot Wedding a bit. I am also going to be r63ing a few ponies.
8518071
Also, I want my readers to see what my first real day in Ponyville is like. There will be clop coming up soon, but not before Zecora appears. And I'm probably going to need help with the clop.
Wasn’t this chapter already released
8518669
I edited it. Made it into 2 chapters.
8518669
Next chapter is about my first day living in Ponyville. I will do more character development in that chapter.
I find the lack of details annoying…
Seriously, you need to write in more details. And I mean that for pretty much everything in this story. From the dialogue, to the actions taken, to the descriptions — EVERYTHING needs more detail. The fact that there's so little makes this whole story feel kinda half-assed.
I'm not saying this to be mean, but merely speaking my mind and opinion on the matter, as well as trying to give advice to a fellow author.
8518800
I understand. Can you give me a specific place fro an example? I will work on it. Don't worry.
8518807
I'm going to be giving a Before-and-After type example, so sit back — this could take awhile.
8518817
ok. thanks. ill be fine.
8518817
thanks for the help!
8518817
is there a problem with the prologue? Or is it the only chapter that is ok?
8518818
Before:
After:
8518901
...........Would you like to be my editor???
8518909
Sadly I can't. I have my own stories to work on, the most prominent being a Darkness story I promised to have published by Halloween. I am thankful for the offer, though.
8518915
aw man. Well, thanks for the help
8518915
Again, thanks.
I have a suggestion do what some other writers do summarize episodes and what that character did in the flash back durong sometimw.in the chapter. Or have him gone somewhere during that chapter
Do u realize I repeat ureslf in some places just letting u know
So far i like it can't wait to read more.
Definitely ticket master first. It will give Gavin and Twi some bonding time. Great story so far and I can't wait to read more.
Whats gavins element
8522937
Have to think of a name. I'm thinking empathy.
8522960
Um wouldnt that be cadance almost
8523023
No cadence is love. Empathy is being able to understand and share the feelings of others.
8521248
Thanks so much!! Its my first story ever.
Element, Element, Element, what shall ye be? Hmm? Empathy? Courage? Or maybe even justice perhaps?