Night Lights

by LWOverFlow

A Pause To Reflect

Shadow slipped into the shadows, and walked through what looked like a town covered in darkness, nopony was around to keep him company. As he slowly walked the streets he saw the same figure as before, but the figure formed into a stallion about his height, then shifted to a mare much taller than him, and finally settled on a mirror likeness of him.

"Who are you?", His call fell on deaf ears as the equestrian seemed not to notice his words. As he stood with the stallion in his image looking him down, his likeness turned and walked away, leaving him alone yet again.

"Wait!", he called out, and yet the being that was before him didn't even pause as he faded to nothing......

So I'm pausing at the moment to reflect on my thoughts and try to put my thoughts into words. Also I want this story to be interactive to the group, so I'm wondering if Anypony listening in wants a chapter for Shadow's past, or a chapter to further his current predicament, and hear more of his current situation?!

Comments

[Anonymous Critic]

Woah woah woah! Okay, first things first, we the readers, (and by that, I sadly mean I, your sole reader) don't know shit about Shadow, one moment he's a bat pony, the next a unicorn, and now this stuff is coming up.

Look, we only know what you write, and it's not like we can physically access your thoughts to even have a clue where this story could head, let alone where we want it to, which brings this to my next point.

You want to make this “interactive”!? Look, no offense, but you are below decent when it comes to your writing skill. I read your work despite that, because I like to help writers, especially bad ones, become better writers.

So if you jump from scene to scene, not giving us a clue as to what is going on, and keeping this far too rushed... Well, one moment he's a bat pony going to a night club, the next he is going to talk to a manager, who throws blades at him for whatever reason. And then he becomes a unicorn, because he wasn't really a bat pony all along. And then... For whatever reason, he wakes up in a dungeon, escapes, and... Now is apparently hallucinating something that seems to be completely irrelevant to whatever the heck was just happening.

And all of this in, what, a couple thousand words?

Look. Let's do this one thing at a time. Perhaps you should start by reading, top to bottom, the writing guide.

https://www.fimfiction.net/writing-guide

Once you have done that, then we can take this one thing at a time. I will make you a better writer, but only if you let me.