• Member Since 21st Apr, 2015
  • offline last seen 9 minutes ago

JackRipper


A real lady killer. || My profile picture was drawn in 45 seconds.

T
Source

Celestia is still haunted by her own personal demon. Luckily for her, she isn't alone.

Her sister will always be there for her.


Cover art by Nemo2D on Deviantart.
Edited by Dreams of Ponies.
Additional proofreading by B_25 and pre-reading by Not Enough Coffee.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 29 )
B_25 #2 · January 7th · · 15 ·

what no shut fuck can't stop the words they come on and on and on like a fire in the phoenix but the fire doesn't go out it keeps on burning and burning and buring like the pits of the fires in hell only hell froze over because the anti-christ and reglon was disbanded and then hitler came back from the gave to lead the new resistance against the whites and then the bad guys died and the good guys won and everyone then lived happily ever after.

Dude, wtffffffffff. :twilightoops:

Well, that’s what I’d call an open ending :derpytongue2:
Anyway, this has been an interesting read; nothing worldbreaking, but it has still done very nicely in conducting the feels.

JackRipper
Story Approver

8655038
don't think about it.

Clever introspective piece; well written and thought provoking.
Good job!

JackRipper
Story Approver

8655106
I'd hoped it would do well. I've spent a lot of time on this story. :twilightsheepish:

8655147
The effort you have put in shows.
I hope it does well too!
:trollestia:

Well, that ending was... something. What exactly it was I'm not sure. But it was fun getting there. :twilightsmile:

That coverart is beautiful.

JackRipper
Story Approver

8655416
Thank you. :heart:

JackRipper
Story Approver

8655200
I'm glad to hear it. :scootangel:

I don't think there's a work of yours that hasn't gotten my upvote since I started keeping up. Naturally, this was no exception. The part where Celestia mentioned "that cute mare" to Martyrdom made me smirk. Loved it! PS: I like the new avatar.

JackRipper
Story Approver

8655632
Thank you! :heart:

Wow this is well done I like it. I like the illusion part with twilight. That part got me... OMG orig00.deviantart.net/fe62/f/2017/140/0/5/daybreaker_by_stellarway-db9tyww.png

JackRipper
Story Approver

8655726
Glad to hear it. :scootangel:

I don't really get the part at the end. The rest was good though.

For the sake of immersion, please temporarily disable 'Night Mode' for the duration of this story if you have it enabled. Trust me, it will make the story more enjoyable.

Yeah... it didn’t. Apart from a few “missing” vowels, there’s literally nothing there.

Some error duplicated my comment. Disregard.

Ehh... ahh... umm... it's... hmm... janky?

Funny, when translated, Daybreaker's actual offered plan would remove an emotional block that past-Celestia erected to protect herself from maturing into the entirety of her super-equine capabilities, but that Celestia would do so by replacing the emotional block with Daybreaker herself as a sacrificial filter-interface between Celestia and her super-equine capabilities, allowing Daybreaker to enact her intention of transforming Celestia from her stagnant "all-loving everyman/self-sacrificing ruler/mother to all ponies" self-image by subtly evolving Celestia into somepony who can fulfill the mythos of "Celeste Invictus, The Unconquered Sun, Chessmaster of Destinies" fiction that pony-kind has built around Celestia.

Boy did I cast this aside for longer that I wanted. Well, I finally got to reading it.

You're probably sick of these by now, so i will cut the whole "Your writing is superb bla bla bla crap."

Let's get to what I particulary liked about this story.

First of all, Daybreakers depiction. In many fics I've read she was almost like a symbiot, not really a threat. This time around she was written as dangerous and intent on overpowering Celestia, not satisfied with being just a demon in her mind (although she does also fulfill that part rather well). I liked that, Daybreaker IS a power-crazy Celestia after all, she should be dangerous.

Then there's the guard scene in the beginning. Kinda meta-humor that fits perfectly and also serves a sa nice setup to further showcase Celestia's weak psyche, instead of only relying on the whole "tired" thing. I may also draw inspiration from that scene, sorry to piggy-back off your writing again :rainbowwild:

And then we have a cute twilight scene ( yeah there were also Luna and Cadance, but Twilight is always my personal highlight^^ ). Aside from the fact that they were just really cute and served as a nice mood-lightener in a otherwise dark story, it was also a nice way to demonstarte the inner fight Celestia is going through.

A fight that she ultimately lost, as least as far as we know right now. Which was great, a happy ending would have been the standard, safe move. You took the risk, and I think it worked out very well.

JackRipper
Story Approver

8675337
I’m glad you enjoyed. I was worried about publishing this one. :twilightsmile:

I am a shadow, the true self.

Whoa, okay, I wasn't expecting THAT ending. Good story, good writing, I like. But is it just me, or was Celestia actually being overpowered by Daybreaker at the end? If so, I hope Luna steps in before somepony gets burned.

“Don’t give me that. If it was a situation that was dire enough, she’d find a way to getherselfcaptured, and then Princess Twilight would do all the work for her. I mean, by Faust, she couldn’t even take down Queen Chrysalis on her own.”

Celestia scowled as his words bored into her. She had half a mind to walk through that door to chew him out herself, but she reluctantly bit her tongue. Surely Caestus would come to her defense, right?

“She was powered up on love magic, remember? It’s not like taking her down was a walk in the park.”

“Still, she didn’t even trust her ownstudent.What in Tartarus does that say about her?”

And lo, the arguments of the internet were taken up by the ponies.


That ending was disturbingly open ended.

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