Arc 3 Chapter 1: Injury and Memory
Fluttershy’s funeral had been harder, of course, but visiting the hospital held a horror all its own. If Luna had not insisted there was no way Twilight would have gone. She had always been an isolationist; somepony who had trouble simply relating to others at the best of times. These were not the best of times. Emotional support was simply beyond her capacity at the moment.
Not that emotional support was the point of their visit, precisely. Rather, as rulers have done since time immemorial, they were visiting the wounded and reassuring them that their sacrifice had not been in vain.
Twilight found that difficult. She knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the sacrifices made on her orders had been for nothing. Twilight would have taken it all back in a heartbeat, if she could.
Of course, she couldn’t take it back. She couldn’t take anything back. Walking among the wounded she was wounded in turn. she felt the knife in her aching heart cut a little deeper with every meaningless platitude she mouthed and every soldier she left just as hurt as she found them.
But Luna had insisted. No, that wasn’t right. Luna had ordered and Twilight had gone along without a second thought. She had forgotten just how compelling a princess not wracked by doubt or self-recrimination could be. Even now, Luna strode the antiseptic anodyne halls like the first breath of free air of in a pony’s lungs after they were discharged.
Twilight stood at the edge of a crowded hospital room, studying the inhabitants. They had attempted to cluster around the princess, only to be ordered back to their beds by the orderlies. As a compromise, Luna had summoned the beds to her with a quick spell and now sat, uncaring of dignity or comfort, on the hard linoleum floor among the beds. Her greater height put her at eye level with the injured soldiers. She was telling a story about a fight she’d had with a creature called the Smooze.
“And so then I ducked under his reaching arm. Or leg. It was kind of hard to tell under all the muck. Anyway I bucked him right in the side and both my legs got stuck. This awful purple ooze started seep into my coat and up my legs. I was just about to blast my way free when the overgrown puddle rolled over and sat on me. All I could think about was how embarrassing it was to be losing a fight to a pile of jello with delusions of grandeur!”
The soldiers laughed and Luna laughed along with them. Twilight couldn’t help but think of how another princess would have acted in Luna’s place. She would have been more reserved, of course, wouldn’t have sat on the floor or gathered all the soldiers together. And yet, she too would have managed to leave the soldiers feeling a bit better about what they faced. Somehow the princesses could empathize with the injured better than she could. This despite the fact that they had never and could never suffer a permanent injury.
Until now anyway, Twilight realized with a chill. Perhaps Luna was drawing on the loss of Celestia to connect with the soldiers, or perhaps this compassion and easy comradery was a part of her true nature when she wasn’t distracted by other concerns.
It doesn’t matter, she thought, shaking off her musings like a dog shaking off water. She also had to force her hoof down from where it had drifted to her missing eye. They had come to reassure the soldiers and they were reassured, check that item off the list.
“Excuse me, Archmage Sparkle?”
Turning, Twilight saw that Nurse Redheart, one of the speakers from the funeral, had entered the room and approached her. The nurse looked tired, unsurprisingly, but professional and competent with her light blue scrubs and clipboard.
Seeing she had Twilight’s attention the nurse glanced down at her clipboard to remind herself of the message. “You asked to be notified of Captain Armor’s status, correct?”
Ah yes, another injury to lay at her hooves and brick of guilt to lay on her back. “Yes,” she said aloud, “is there any news?”
“Good news, in fact. He’s regained consciousness yesterday and appears to be in possession of all his faculties. We’re not yet confident there won’t be repercussions from the magical backlash, but the worst has been avoided.” Redheart managed a small smile. “He’s attempted to return to his duties and asked to speak with you at the earliest opportunity. We won’t permit the former just yet, but since you’re here anyway I thought you might help with the latter.”
Once Twilight would have laughed with joy at the news, but from the great distance that seemed to separate her from everypony else it was a barely perceptible lightening of the load. Still, it was something.
“I’m pleased he’s awake. Let me just notify the princess and then we can go.”
“There is no need Twilight.” While they were speaking, Luna had extricated herself from the knot of soldiers and made her way over in time to catch the gist of the conversation. “I would like to accompany you to meet the valiant Captain.”
The nurse nodded. “I am sure he will be pleased with your visit. Please try to keep from agitating him. While I’m sure he won’t admit it, his mind is still fragile.”
“We’ll do our best,” Twilight said.
As they departed the soldiers called goodbyes after Luna.
“Goodbye Princess!”
“Thanks for visiting!”
“We love you!”
“And I love you, my little ponies,” the princess called back to cheers from the room. She was still smiling when she fell into step next to Twilight.
“That means a lot to you, doesn’t it?” Twilight commented idly.
Luna glanced over, assessing if an insult had been meant. “I am pleased to be appreciated by my subjects,” she said stiffly.
“Celestia couldn’t have done that,” Twilight said, apparently apropos of nothing.
Now certain she was being mocked, Luna’s reply was sharp and tinged with bitterness. “As if my saintly sister would be incapable of anything.”
“No really,” Twilight protested. “I was thinking about this in there. Celestia would have visited, to be sure. She would have spent time at each of their bedsides, carefully listened to each of their concerns, and reassured them of their place in the grand scheme of things. An offer of comfort through predictability, as it were. You though, you dragged them all together, plopped down on the floor next to them, and traded war stories and jokes for the better part of three hours. It’s a different experience entirely.”
“Perhaps, but I fail to see the import of that distinction,” Luna said, still frowning.
“You thrived on their attention. They could give you something and have you value it while they received something from you in exchange. I bet they’ll be telling their grandfoals about the time they got to shoot the shit with the princess.” Twilight shook her head. “Celestia did that with specific ponies. Me, I’d like to think. But if I had to guess she took her strength from the functioning of the system, rather than from the joy of the individual ponies.”
“What exactly are you saying, Twilight?” Luna asked, still somewhat perplexed.
Twilight shrugged. “I’m not sure exactly. But I’m glad you’re here Luna. Truly, I am. I think what you have to offer might be exactly what they need, rather than what they can be made to accept.”
“Thank you, I think.” Luna peered closely at the smaller pony beside her. “Twilight are you ok?”
“No,” Twilight said simply.
“What–“
“We’re here,” Redheart interrupted, gesturing at a wooden doorway. As a military nurse she had long since mastered the crucial art of escorting ponies without overhearing anything she shouldn’t and, as such, she had no idea what she’d interrupted.
“This conversation is not over, Twilight Sparkle. The army still needs you,” Luna warned.
“And I’ll play my part. The army can’t ask more than that, and I don’t think I have more than that to give anyway. Right now let’s just go see how the Captain is doing,” Twilight said. Without waiting for an answer she walked ahead of Luna into the room Redheart had indicated, not so secretly relieved to escape the conversation she had initiated. Luna followed without complaint, though Twilight could feel the weight of her assessing gaze.
For a hospital, the room they entered was nice. Two broad windows let sunbeams brighten pastel flooring and light blue blankets. A lone bed occupied one wall and next to it stood a small nightstand with a vase of blue and yellow forget-me-nots that some enterprising pony had managed to rustle up. Shining Armor was resting in bed, looking weary, but surprisingly well put together for somepony who had recently done his level best to fry his brain. Sure, the top of his head and his horn were wrapped in enough bandages to make a mummy, but his eyes were alert and had tracked over to the door when he heard it creak open.
“Twi– Archmage, Princess, to see both of you is more of an honor than I expected. Are you here to save me from the cruel attentions of that dastardly creature behind you?” he asked cheerfully.
“You are a patient in a hospital. As far as you are concerned even Princess Luna has to listen to me,” Redheart said severely, though there was a glint of humor in her face.
Shining pressed a hoof to his forehead, wincing as he moved a bit too fast. “Alas, then I must make do with the pleasure of your company.”
Blinking at the exchange, Twilight said in an undertone to Luna, “I don’t remember him being quite so playful before.”
“He’s still on painkillers,” Redheart put in. “He’s cognizant of what’s going on, but he’s likely lightheaded and somewhat dizzy.”
“It does feel that way,” Shining said. “I’ll probably be a little out of it, so please don’t hold my informality against me.”
“Of course not,” Luna said warmly as they took seats at his bedside. “We have heard tell of your valor in in bringing home the army and protecting it long enough for the Archmage to find me.”
He shrugged. “As far as I was concerned it was a last stand. We were lucky that you turned out to be nearby. Besides which, the Archmage was essential in providing me with the strength to make a shield that large. Without her – without you, Archmage, we would not have made it.”
“Without me, we wouldn’t have been out there in the first place,” Twilight corrected, meeting his eyes for the first time. He made to protest but she cut him off. “No. I know, you’ll say that mistakes are a natural consequence of being in charge. Hay, viewed from outside this didn’t even end up going that badly, their forces suffered far more severe losses than we did. I understand that intellectually, but it provides little comfort.”
Shining Armor blinked at the rush of words, delivered in a monotone. “I was going to say,” he corrected gently, “that I’ve also lost friends because of orders I’ve given that turned out to be mistakes, and that I’m sorry I wasn’t there at the funeral. It takes time, Twi – Archmage. If you need to talk about it I’m here for you. I suspect,” he added, turning to Luna, “that the Princess would also be willing to help.”
“Yes,” Luna said simply. “I too understand what it feels like to have orders you’d give anything to take back. As you know better than anypony else, Twilight.”
“I don’t–” Twilight hesitated and then sighed deeply. “Thank you, both of you. But I can’t– I don’t have the luxury to deal with this now. I can’t afford the time it would take to fall to pieces and pick them back up. I just can’t. If we all survive the next few weeks, I may take you up on that offer.”
Shining Armor and the Princess exchanged a look. “Alright, Archmage,” Shining Armor said. “Remember, you may need to keep up a strong face among your subordinates, but as your peers we are here to support you just as we trust you to support us when necessary.”
Twilight nodded. “Well, if you’ll permit me to distract myself by indulging in my curiosity, I did have a question for you.”
“I suppose that’s a healthier way of repressing things than going out and drinking too much cider.” Shining spread his hooves wide. “Ask away.”
“Back when we reached the plane with the army and you started building the shield spell, you asked me to link with you to provide the energy.” Twilight said, her voice losing the waver and growing more precise. “How did you know we would be able to link? And why was it so easy? We’ve never linked before, and there was no reason to think it would be as easy as it was.”
“Ah that, right, well. That was actually why I wanted to speak with you as soon as possible.” Shining Armor’s eyes glanced sideways, then darted to the princess and away. “Though I’m not sure now is the best time. Would you be willing to take a raincheck on that?”
Twilight blinked. “I didn’t think that would be a hard question to answer,” she said.
“I can give you two some privacy, if that’s what this is about,” Luna said, who had caught Shining Armor’s glance. She grinned mischievously. “For instance, if the good captain is secretly in love with you and that’s why the link was so easy I can understand that he might wish to confess his love without an audience.”
“No, no, it’s nothing like that,” Shining Armor said hastily. “I have a wife back in Canterlot whom I love very much. But I do think a bit of privacy wouldn’t go amiss,” he added.
“Very well.” Luna said, rising from her seat. “Twilight, I will see you at the meeting this afternoon. Actually, now that you’re awake you should attend as well, Captain Armor.”
“And what is this meeting going to be about,” he asked with some trepidation.
“Our general strategy,” Luna answered. “After six months of stasis events are moving again. We must reconsider our plans, especially in light of what we now know about Sombra.”
“Then I will certainly attend. Hopefully the painkillers will be out of my system by then and I can give you my best effort.”
“I wish you a speedy recovery, Captain. Twilight…” Luna trailed off unable to find the words. Finally, she simply said, “I’ll see you later.” She turned and made her way to the door.
Twilight watched the princess leave. Then she turned back to Shining Armor. “So, now that she’s gone, why was the link so easy? And why didn’t you want Luna here for this?”
“It’s complicated and I, uh, I’m not exactly sure where to start.” He tapped his chin in thought. “I can’t believe I’m even telling you this. I half believe the drugs are responsible for loosening my tongue.”
“You know, if this is some deep secret you don’t have to tell me,” Twilight said. “I’d hate to think you’re only talking now because you’re on painkillers.”
Shining Armor shook his head. “No, I want to tell you. After almost dying or burning out my mind I think it’s important that I try this one more time.” He took in a deep breath and let it out. “Here goes. Twilight what is your family like?”
Twilight felt a chill. “I don’t know.”
That evidently not been the response Shining Armor expected. “What do you mean, you don’t know?”
She shook her head. “I don’t know. I had always thought that I had perfectly normal parents who I left behind to become a student of the princess. But back before we left I was talking with Iolite, the dragoness that laid Spike’s egg, and I realized that I don’t remember them. Not what they did, what they looked like, if I had any siblings, nothing. There were no visits after becoming the princess’s student and somehow I barely thought about them for fifteen years. It was on my list of things to investigate, but the rebellion happened later that day and it fell by the wayside.”
Something very like desperate hope came into Shining Armor’s eyes. “Well,” he said thickly, “I can help you with that. Your mother’s name is Twilight Velvet. She’s a writer. Foal’s stories mostly, but she branches out into romance novels on occasion. Your father’s name is Nightlight and he’s an astronomer at Canterlot University.”
“How could you possibly know that? Why would you even know that?” Twilight asked hesitantly, but Shining Armor continued speaking as if he hadn’t heard.
“You have one older brother who joined the Royal Guard in the hopes of getting to see you again. It turned out he had a knack for it and rose quickly through the ranks until he achieved the coveted title, ‘Captain of the Royal Guard.’” Shining stared at her with an unnerving intensity. “It’s me, Twilight. I’m your older brother.”
Questions whirred through her head. “That’s not possible,” she blurted out.
“What isn’t?” he prompted. “What did I just tell you? Repeat it, please!”
“You told me that you’re my big brother, but–“ Twilight cut off as Shining Armor began laughing.
“Yes!” he cheered. “Yes, yes, yes, finally!” He threw back his head and to her shock Twilight thought she saw tears in his eyes. “I don’t know how or why but you finally heard me”
“I don’t– what? What are you talking about?” Twilight sputtered. “I want answers, now!”
With a supreme effort of will Shining brought his head back down and tried to stem the flow of tears. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. This must be very confusing for you. I’ll try and explain. As much as I can anyway, since I don’t understand very much.”
“I think you’d better do that,” Twilight said cautiously.
“Right, right.” Shining Armor wiped his eyes again and took a breath. “Ok. So like I said, you were accepted as the princess’s student and at first we were all thrilled. I’ve never seen mom and dad as happy as when they got that letter. It didn’t hurt that it came with a hefty scholarship bonus, and that mom’s novels weren’t selling well at that time.”
He drifted off in reminiscences for a moment only to be brought back to the present as Twilight cleared her throat. “Anyway, they were slightly less thrilled when it turned out you would have to move into the castle. Still, it was such a good opportunity and it was the princess after all, so they acquiesced.”
“I vaguely remember that,” Twilight put in. “Or I remember coming to live in the castle, though I don’t remember where I came to live there from. Which is odd now that I think of it. A foal of that age should definitely be old enough to have some memories of home.”
“That’s where things got strange for us as well,” Shining said. “After they dropped you off they were completely unable to contact you. Letters were returned unopened. The guards at the palace wouldn’t let them in. They even went to petition the princess in court and were denied entry. I was pretty young at the time, but I remember coming home after school one day and finding mom sobbing at the kitchen table. She wept that she’d sold her daughter for a pile of bits.”
“That’s awful,” Twilight commented sadly.
“Yeah, that’s the kind of thing that sticks with a colt. I swore then and there that I would find a way into the castle.” He shrugged. “Of course, I was too young to really understand that that was only part of the problem. I thought that if I could just get inside then everything else would work itself out. I joined the royal guard and within a few years, lo and behold, there I was inside the castle.”
“Why didn’t you come find me then?” Twilight asked. “Once you’d risen a few ranks in the guard it should have been easy enough to schedule a meeting. Or,” and here Twilight looked appalled at the heresy she was speaking, “you could have just come and found me without any kind of schedule at all.”
“Oh I did,” he said grimly. “Both strategies. I’d heard how carefully you budgeted your time and tried to schedule something at first, but any meeting I arranged was mysteriously perpetually delayed. Finally, I got fed up and just lurked in the castle library for three days straight, knowing that you would eventually show up.”
Twilight managed a small smile at that. “Yeah, I can’t think of a better way to meet me. That should have worked, though. I don’t remember ever going more than three days without visiting the library, and I also don’t remember meeting you there.”
“Exactly, you don’t remember.” Shining Armor learned forward and put his hoof over hers where it rested on the bed. “I tried, Twilight. Over and over I tried to talk to you, to ask how you were doing and remind you of our parents. And each time I started talking to you, at the very second I mentioned being family, your eyes would glaze over and you would forget everything we had been talking about. If I kept trying to talk to you, you would wander away as if you literally couldn’t perceive that a pony was speaking to you.”
“And so by the time this expedition started you were conditioned not to bring up family around me,” Twilight finished slowly.
“Yes. It’s been hard not saying anything these past few months. I decided that I shouldn’t say anything while we were working together because I couldn’t risk you forgetting me at a crucial moment. It was only after this injury that I decided to try at least one more time. I couldn’t bear the thought that one of us might die on this expedition and you’d never know about your family.” Shining Armor brought his hooves up as if to hug her and then hesitated and slowly lowered them back down. “Sorry. This must all sound so strange to you. Finding my little sister has been the focus of my life and here you are hearing about it for the first time. The first time that you can remember anyway.”
Twilight hadn’t moved when he made to hug her but she was relieved when he had refrained. It was simply too much, too quickly, so she focused on the one part that did make sense to her. “So you claim that the reason we could link so easily is because we’re siblings. That would make sense. Siblings naturally have similar magical pathways and anyway we both worked for the crown and lived in Canterlot for most of our lives so there wouldn’t be much opportunity for divergence on that front.”
“That’s fine for the magic part,” he said. “But do you believe me? About being family I mean.”
“I’m not sure.” Twilight let out a little huff and ran her hoof through her mane. “The fact that we linked is suggestive, but that’s a pretty extraordinary claim. Do you have any evidence?”
“Evidence?” he said blankly. “Oh you mean evidence that we’re related? Not with me, though back in Canterlot our parents have plenty of photographs of you as a foal, including one after you got your cutie mark but right before you left. Would that convince you?”
“Maybe,” Twilight hummed. “It would help anyway.”
“Don’t you have a spell that can tell if we’re related somehow?” he asked.
“Not one that would work right off the bat,” Twilight responded. She frowned in thought. “Although, if I modified a paternity spell...” she trailed off.
“Why do you know a paternity spell?” Shining asked, caught somewhere between alarm and curiosity.
“Rarity talked me into reading a romance novel,” Twilight replied absently, still lost in thought. “One of the plot points revolved around being uncertain who the father of a foal was. I got curious and looked up ways to test for paternity using magic.” Her horn lit up and her eye scanned back and forth, mentally examining the inner workings of the paternity test spell. “Yes I think I can use this. It won’t be certain, but if it turns up positive that’s something at least. You don’t mind, do you?”
“Of course not,” Shining said confidently. “Is there anything you need from me?”
“I’ll need a few drops of blood.” As she spoke Twilight raised a hoof to her horn and made a small incision. She caught the few drops of blood that welled up in her magic and raised them to eye level. “Just like that.”
Following suit, Shining Armor raised his hoof to his horn, wincing as the motion jostled his aching head. Twilight collected the blood from him as well and held both droplets before her. The glow around her horn and the droplets brightened and her concentration intensified. Altering a spell on the fly to complete an only tangentially related task was no easy feat. Still, she enjoyed the challenge
At first, Twilight had thought she might be able to simply determine the relation between the donors of the droplets of blood. Unfortunately, it turned out that that use was too far from the original intent of the spell and her modifications failed.
Her next idea proved more successfully. She set the spell to perform a paternity test on each droplet of blood and then compare the results. Without the paternal blood the test wasn’t one hundred percent accurate, but in the absence of parental blood it could still compare the results for each droplet and provide a reasonably confident assessment of whether the blood donors had had the same father.
Sure enough, when that modified spell was successfully cast, both droplets of blood flashed green, signifying a positive result. Twilight incinerated the blood to safely dispose of it and turned back to Shining Armor.
“So, that’s it. We appear to have the same father, at the very least.” She hesitated then continued, tripping over the words. “You really are my… my big brother.”
“You don’t have to force yourself,” he said gently. “Like I said before, it’s enough that you know. If something happens to me, you can go get the truth from our parents in Canterlot.”
“It’s just, I’ve only ever had a little brother, I’m not sure how to relate to a–” Twilight broke off and her eyes widened in surprise and then narrowed. “Spike! If he’s not included you can forget about me having anything to do with your family,” she said warningly.
“While he obviously isn’t biologically related to us,” Shining began, continuing hastily at the danger signs in Twilight’s eyes, “he is, of course, welcome and I’d be proud to call a dragon my brother.”
“Good,” Twilight said, sounding satisfied. “That’s going to be a difficult conversation. I think you’d better let me be the one to tell him.”
“I think that might be for the best,” Shining Armor said ruefully, remembering his brief showdown with the dragon on the practice field.
“Wait, Spike, that’s it!” Twilight said excitedly. “That’s why I could remember this time. This was the first time you tried to tell me anything after I had lost my eye, right?”
Shining Armor was understandably confused. “Yes, this was the first time I tried to speak with you in years. What difference did losing your eye make?”
Twilight had jumped up from her seat and started to pace as she thought. “Because when I lost my eye I had a spell going haywire on my brain and I had Spike breathe dragonfire into my eye.”
“You had Spike do what?” Shining Armor sat up, alarmed, but Twilight wasn’t listening.
“Somepony must have put a memory spell on me that was wiped out by the magic cancelling effects of the dragonfire. That might even explain the increase in my mental processing speed that I noticed right afterward” She thought aloud, still striding furiously from wall to wall in the cramped hospital room. “But who? Based on what you said it has to have happened immediately after I became Celestia’s student.”
“Who is Celestia? Twilight please tell me what you’re talking about.” Shining Armor pleaded, not really expecting a response.
“So somepony placed a powerful memory spell on me while I was under Celestia’s tutelage and in all the years she taught me she never noticed it? And she never thought it was strange that I never had any contact with my family? That doesn’t make any sense. Unless…” The rush of words slowed and Twilight dropped heavily back into the seat. “Unless she knew. No, more, unless she placed the spell herself.”
“Equestria to Twilight, come in Twilight.” Shining Armor practically shouted, dragging her attention back out of her thoughts. Her eyes snapped to him, though she was still trembling with nervous energy at the thoughts running through her head. “Look, I don’t know exactly what you’re talking about, but it’s pretty clearly something that happened in the past. So, please, take a moment to breathe and fill me in and maybe I can help you somehow.” He smiled slightly. “After all, no matter what a little sister’s predicament it’s a big brother’s job save her.”
Only two words seemed to percolate Twilight’s fugue. “Save her…save her,” she mumbled. “But can I? Should I? Would it even work? I need to… I need to…” She looked up, her lavender eyes fixing Shining Armor in place. “I need to go. I’m sorry Shining Armor. This can’t wait.”
“But you haven’t even explained anything,” he feebly protested.
“I know. If I’m right I’ll be explaining everything at the general strategy meeting, but I have to hurry.” For just a moment her voice softened. “Thank you. I think you might have just given me an important piece of the puzzle.” She leaned forward and hugged the dumbstruck stallion.
Then, while he was still confused by her sudden display of affection, she made her escape, smiling slightly as he recovered enough to call “you’re welcome!” after her retreating form.
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Finally, when the two first met each other, I thought you simply wrote them as not related. Good to have some solid answers.
Also, I just realised this story passed 100k words. It odd how something like that can sneak up on you like that. Looking forward to this arc.
Thanks to both of you for your comments. I'd be posting even if nobody was reading, but it's nice to hear what people think and you two have been great for that!
8813887
It's interesting that you mention a geass. I totally wasn't thinking about that, but now that you mention it, it fits pretty well. Also, it's been interesting to see how negatively you view Celestia. I was worried people would give her too much benefit of the doubt when I wanted there to be mixed feelings, at best.
8804268
If you like the answers in the last chapter, then you'll love the new one. Answers out the wazoo. Also, 100k snuck up on me as well. There's a chance this arc alone will be another 100k, so that would be an interesting milestone to reach.
I love this story you are an awesome writer keep it up please