The My Little Pony Movie was amazing, with wonderful world building and well plotted out adventure and feels. But it ignored a lot of canon. Twilight has check lists for checking her check lists! Do you really think she wouldn't have a plan for an invasion, especially after what happened at Cadence's wedding? Also, Equestria already has friends and allies they could call on. So, here's my version of events.
Edit: Some of the early comments have given me cause to think about revising the second chapter, so I'm pulling it until I have a chance to do so. I may remove it altogether and let the first chapter stand on it's own, as I originally intended. The idea, after all, was to show that Equestria already had allies they could have called on, not to mock the actual film, which I enjoyed thoroughly.
The following comment has been made before reading the story.
Dude... seriously?
Great so far!
..maybe saw?
The following comment has been made after reading the story.
So... you couldn't decide what the most logical way for Twilight to plan for an invasion was, so you just had her plan to throw everyone in the world at the problem. Yes, this is totally how it should have gone. Almost surprised you didn't have scenes of all the totally awesome background ponies fighting back.
I feel like it should be pointed out that Twilight Sparkle is not Batman, her checklists are universally just checklists for stuff like how to organize parties or run a bake sale, and she cracks under pressure.
Also, you just had to drag in Starlight Glimmer and get in another joke at her expense, while implying that having a part of your body ripped off and being shunned for being a cripple is somehow even more trivial than your best friend moving away. Classy.
No. It didn't have to be written. That is a very simple fact. You did not have to write this. You could have blogged about it. You could have written a version that just had her invite everypony who could possibly save the world to the party, wrapping it up at barely a thousand words. You could have even, and I know this sounds really preposterous, just called the movie stupid and walked away.
End result: I, for one, am no longer waiting for your other stories. Have a good day.
8502333
And amazingly, the two of us agree on something.
Let me guess: Discord fixes everything.
8502401
Who are you again?
Cute story.
As someone, who enjoys HISHE videos on a regular basis, I would like to say that this story is rather dull. Basically, you just tell about Twilight devising a plan, that consists of rallying Equestria's allies. And then this plan is executed without any flaws and hiccups. Which is not only boring but also not very likely. Changelings definitely were not effective, when they fought Maulworth, for example. So they hardly were able to infiltrate on the large scale. And so on.
Also, Tempest and Grubber made reconnaissance before the assault (see chapter books and other materials) so in fact, HISHE should have them better prepared. Probably have a scenario with Tempest sneaking at the Festival and stoning princesses by surprise.
well it might seem like Tempest got off easy... Till you compare her actions to some of the others that got forgiven. Especially Discord. Got a feeling Equestrian only saves "real" punishment for stuff like torture and murder. Rebellion? Sedition? Your now the property of the Princess of Friendship.
Well, I like the alternate interpretation, but this is far from the style of HISHE. They’re endings are short and point out lapses in logic, while your things does the latter, it needs to be shorter and point out the Movie’s stupidity.
8502424
You don't remember me? Cool! We can be buddies!
8503334 You have a point. That's pretty much why I've removed the second chapter, looking back at it, it didn't really follow the HISHE formula, and greatly increased the length.
It seemed like a good idea at the time, I really wanted, just for once to see Equestria basically curb stomping a villian, rather than surviving by the skin of it's teeth, but it basically made the fic rather boring, as someone else said, and it took time I could have been using to write one of the fics that actually matter to people.
8504269
Now hold on a sec. I’m not saying that writing this fic. Was bad. I’m simply saying it wasn’t like HISHE. The fact that it exists means people like this kind of thing. You just need to be more concise with it. Make it more comedic. You can do this. Try watching some HISHE videos to study their formula.
Good work.
8504269
Don't we all? :)
Wish you would contuine this so it tells how they defeat them
8685173 I did, but it got such a massive negative reaction that I took it down.
8685219
That's to bad
I had some similar thoughts; that the Changelings, Dragons, Yaks, Griffons and even the Saddle Arabians should have done something. Maybe they did and Twilight and Co. never saw it. Who knows.
Having said that, I feel like you could have done more and better with this story. Maybe if you feel like it, you can create a new version that isn't so rushed. I feel like your stories are good, even though there are often errors in them. For example, Cadance was petrified first.
Still kind of liked it, but it's not up to par for you, I think.
Clif Hanger?
8929623
HANGING FROM A CLIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFF!!!!
8502720 On the first point, I just wanted a curb stomp, so I wrote a curb stomp. Considering the original involved the most egregious example of nerfing I've seen in the entire franchise, I just once wanted to show what the good guys should be capable of if they got it together, rather than being weighed down by plot induced stupid.
I may well rewrite this into a full story, of the sort A Different Bridal Path was, but for now I have other stories to write.
Second, my head canon is that Chrysalis had them on starvation rations, so big, powerful transofrmations were beyond them. Even against the mole crature they were finding their hooves. But this is after Pharynx has taken charge of the defence force, training them to use their shapeshifting as a combat multiplier the way he did. How do you think Thorax learned that 'turn into a bear' tactic in Triple Threat? Plus they now have an ample supply of magical energy to support more extravagant magic.
Third. I don't have the chapter books. But you're right, However, they didn't. Against any kind of preparation, Tempest would have crashed and burned. The invasion is not an example of her tactical genius, it's an example of Equestrian ineffectiveness.
8969696
I'm being serious here.
8969731
Thanks for reply. What took you so long? I've already made HISHE of my own.
8502281 The following comment has been made in response to your comment.
I've re-read my story and thoroughly enjoyed it. If you don't, don't read it. So, yes, seriously. Though that was my reaction when I watched the actual movie.
wow, this was great!