Chapter 161
The pony eyed all the gold rather hungrily, even licking his lips. He whispers to himself "Think of all the shirts and glitter I can buy..." He then looks to Discord with a smile "Tell you what I'm going to do. My intercom doesn't link to Mrs. Rich. But I'll let upper management know you're coming for your "two o' clock"...They should let you through.......that gets me the gold right?"
"You do it and on me mom's life, it's all yours." Discord said with a wide happy smile
And so it was done.
The pony made the call on the intercom and alerted them he was also taking a break. He took the moneybag and bolted. his last words being "They'll see you on the fortieth floor". And then he was gone.
"See Anon? That wasn't so hard now was it? Come, to the fortieth floor!" Discord cheered as he made a turn on the hallway looking for the stairs.
"Woah hey wait!....I don't have to pull all this stuff with me do I? How would I get it all up the stairs?"
Discord smiles at you and giggles "Of course you don't. That was just the bait after all. Just leave it there. It'll be sure to distract anypony else who might even have a chance to interrupt us."
Thank christ...he was being reasonable.After dropping off the goods, you both start making your way up the stairs. "So, we just have to get past upper management right?"
"We shouldn't have to. He said we were coming up to see their boss lady. And besides, how could you even question one of splendor and bedazzlement."
"Easily, I'm sure the ponies they deal with are snooty and calm. Not the eccentric type like you."
"Can't you be a little more optimistic? That kind of thinking isn't going to get us anywhere once we confront our target. If you think we can be dominated then we will be. You need to go in expecting nothing to go wrong"
".....er, isn't that exactly the reason you lose to the mane 6? Because you thought nothing would go wrong? In fact, isn't that how you lost to the sisters too?"
"Those are more like......calculated setbacks"
"......That made you spend generations as a stone statue."
Discord starts to get a little annoyed with you. "And your point is?"
"I'm just saying expect the unexpected. We're not in the clear until we get to Spoiled Rich. I doubt upper management is going to take the word of a front desk worker on an appointment we never made."
"...You worry too much. I'm telling you, things will be fine"
"...I just dunno. These type of ponies could be real professional. The type who'd not even understand what a joke is and is always calm under the heaviest of pressure. I'm just saying we gotta be careful"
"And I'm saying you worry too much. All we have to do is act rich and powerful and everything will be fine"
"..Mnn...If you say so"
You both reach the 40th floor. Where upon opening the door. You both enter a large office room with cubicles filled with cabinets and typewriters. But that's not what catches your attention. You notice a bunch of ponies in suits gathered by one of the windows. A frantic pony yelling at them to stay back as he looms over the open window "...If you come any closer! I'll Jump..I swear!"
A female coworker urged him not to "Don't, think of your wife and kids! C'mon Staples, you don't want to do this!"
“Oh but I do! Day in and Day out, all I do is staple everypony's work! And now that Mr.Rich's wife is calling the shots I'm expected to get everypony's coffee too?! It's not worth it! I've spilled five cups on me in a single day! It's driving me nuts. I'm not even brown! I'm supposed to have a blue coat!"
Discord looked over intrigued "What's all this?"
....Oh god.... "Holy crap....he's gonna commit suicide. Holy crap! I didn't even know ponies were capable of that kind of stuff! We gotta do something!"
You try to step forward, but Discord holds you back with his magic "Hold on, I want to watch this"
Was he fucking nuts? "Discord...what are you doing?! We got to save him. HEY! HEY! OVER HERE!" You yelled, but nobody was taking notice. Nobody but Discord.
"They can't hear you right now Anon, just be patient. I want to see how this ends"
"Discord! Holy shit man! The guy is going to kill himself. That's how it's going to end!" You struggled, but to no avail.
"Staples! Come on, just calm down. If you do this, everything is over." One of the pony's coworkers cried
"It's already over! I already didn't get her the right coffee three times! It's the pink slip for sure. And she'll make sure I'll never get another job if she remembers my name! I'm outta here. You chumps can stay if you want. But it's over for me!" Staples started to lean out the window, preparing to drop. You yelled for him to stop, but to no avail. One of the workers reached out to him, but it was too late.
"Noooo! FUCK! DISCORD WHAT THE FUCKING HELL! AREN'T YOU......"
"I'M FREEEEEE!" Staples yells as he opens his wings and flies away. The coffee stains didn't make his wings apparent until after he opened them.
Discord started to chuckle, trying to stifle his laugh as you just stare at the window. One of the ponies telling everyone else to get back to work and assigning someone else the new coffee position.
You were utterly stunned. "............You fucking knew the entire time that he was a pegasus..."
Discord couldn't talk, he started to laugh near maniacally. He got you riled up for no fucking reason but a quick laugh.
You facepalm. "......Why...why do I never expect these things?"
"Excuse me....but who are you and why are you laughing like that?" A mare with a white coat, blue eyes, her mane tied in a bun, and a sleek red business suit stood before the both of you. Unamused by Discord's laughter.
You grumble at him nearly ruining everything with his laughter. "He's being a jerk, that's what..."
"Hmmm? A jerk about what? If he's laughing about the loss of one of our workers then he...and you..can leave. We don't allow children up here and we do not allow....ponies like him"
She had a rather snooty way of talking. Almost like Spoiled, but not as callous or mean.
Discord quickly composed himself and cleared his throat. "Calm down lassie, We be here for the two o' clock apointment. Allo-"
"There is no two o' clock appointment with you Mr.Moneybags. I don't know what you did to convince our receptionist. But I checked and rechecked and even triple checked all appointment accounts. You are not on there."
....well fucking great. You give Discord a look of absolute disapproval. You wondered why he didn't fucking use his magic to just throw in the appointment. It would have made things easier. or maybe this pony would have noticed.
"Miss...." You say, but stop. realizing you didn't know her name.
"Orderly...Orderly Books. And if you're going to try to convince me to let you see Mrs.Rich, then I'll have to call security to throw you out." ...she did not look like she was going to budge.
Discord tried to be sleek and slick walking around her, eyeing her "Listen miss Books, we only want to meet with yer boss for just a wee minute. We have a business proposal she couldn't refuse. Now if ya would just let us pass"
She raises an eyebrow at him "We?....you mean the colt? Don't you think he's a little young for this kind of business?"
"Not at all, he be my son. And best partner I ever had, he is. Now, if you'd let me speak, I have this multi billion bit d-"
"I will not. You made no such appointment and I'm not the one who accepts or denies deals of any sort. Now, I won't say again....leave"
Well fuck. This...sorta hot but business oriented pony was gonna kick the both you out. And fucking Discord, SPIRIT OF CHAOS, was having trouble getting past her. Fucking christ. You had to think of something. What would a human do to get past this situation?
......what would a child do?
......oh god....it was sick and twisted enough to work.
As Discord and Orderly argued. You plopped on your bottom. Put your hooves to your eyes. And started to whine. "W-w-whh--whhhhaaaaa-WHAAAAA!" You start to cry, getting the attention of all in the room.
Even Discord didn't know what you were on about.
Orderly shifted her eyes towards you "..What's wrong with him?"
Discord shrugged "I don't know. erm..."
"D-daddy..I-I'm soo....s-ssorryyyyy...whnngmm" You do your best to think wretched terrible thoughts to get the tears flowing.
"....What are you talking about An-...err...Gold." Discord was heavily confused
"I-I'm s-sorry for not getting the appointment...ngh...I k-know I was supposed to. I...I...got scared by the receptionist and lied...mmnnghhh...lied about getting the appointment."
Everyone was now confused. Orderly tried to make sense of the situation "...You've been here? And you were scared of our receptionist...wait..." She looked towards Discord "You sent your son to make an appointment?"
Discord shifted his eyes left and right, confused "...err...yes?"
"...if y-you want to beat me...p-please..c-can we wait till we get home? Ba-back to the eastern isles? I don't want e-everypony judging me on my failure...p-please daddy?"
There was murmuring in the room, as Orderly looks back to Discord with disgust "You beat your child?!"
".....e-errr.....yes?" Discord said as his confusion and indeed, his embarrassment increased.
"D-don't g-get mad..miss..please?..i-it's our custom....if..we do good...we get..ngh...rewarded...but..if we do bad...mnnngh..it's just to help us to learn..but..it hurts so much..it hurts.." You fall to your side and start shaking.
"oh no no..shhh.." Orderly steps over to you as she gives Discord a death stare.
Discord just stood there, dumbfounded. He had no fucking clue what was going on.
Orderly laid on her belly and scootched next to you. and started gently rubbing your head with her hoof. "Shhh, I didn't know it was like that...I'm very sorry...I didn't know you had tried to make an appointment. What does your father usually have you do?"
You nuzzle and cuddle into her as you whimper. "H-he makes me carry all his money around on a wagon...it's sooo much..so much...I nearly broke my back once pulling it...b-but I do my best...T-that's why w-we need to see...Mrs. Rich"
Orderly fought with herself. She knew she'd be putting her job on the line if she let you in. But… you were so cute, so innocent...and she didn't want you to get hurt. She had never even heard of the eastern islands. But it sounded barbaric.
As she tended to you, she looked over to Discord with much disdain. "....And you have something worth Mrs. Rich's time?"
Discord started to sweat. He truly was lost. He didn't even realize that he himself felt humiliated on being outdone "....y-yes..I er...do. It's umm..something I call a cellphone. It's a new product from the eastern isles that allows anypony to talk to one another from any distance."
She seemed skeptical "...and you have a working model?"
Discord nodded. "Ready to go"
Orderly looked to you, and spoke to you in a gentle voice. "Ok little one, I'm going to let you see Mrs.Rich. I'll lead you to that door there, and when you go through, you'll have to go through one more office to reach her door. Just ignore the big guy behind the desk and very quietly go through Mrs.Rich's door. She hates sudden knocks while she is busy. When you walk inside, just be patient until she addresses you..alright?"
You nod, giving her your cutest, teary eyed look you could, smiling at her. Your smiling made her smile. "Thank you miss Books. You're the nicest pony I've ever met!"
You brightened up, and gave her a smooch on the nose.
She giggled "What was that for?"
"It's how I show my appreciation to nice ponies, its another tradition"
"Oh...well..I don't want to insult your traditions so" She gives you a smooch back. You blush...nailed ittttt "Oh..and..please don't mention who "made" that appointment, be very vague. Mrs.Rich is...not as agreeable as her husband."
You nod and salute. "Yes ma'am"
Orderly stood up and then looked at Discord with major scorn "And you....you can be sure that if a deal is made, that I will have an investigation done on your company. Nopony works for the Riches without a thorough check once we make our deals and mergers. Mrs.Rich will surely explain it to you when you sign the contract....IF you sign the contract. And even if you don't get the opportunity. I'll petition the princesses for an investigation anyway. Am I clear?"
Discord nodded, he still looked a little shaken up by the whole ordeal. "....Yes.."
"Good...now, that door there will take you to our usual manager's office, beyond that is the "Rich" door, an office reserved for only Mr. or Mrs. Rich. Remember, do not knock on any circumstances. And do not be loud when you enter..."
You both nod, you thank miss Books. And she smiles back to you, wishing you good luck.
as you both near and pass through the door. Discord whispers to you a few words. "What in Celestia's name was that?"
"It's called acting, hit me up if you want me to teach you how to actually do it"
"......You're lucky we're on a mission. or else unfortunate circumstances would be happening to you right now. You upstaged me"
You could taste his disdain for you at that moment.
You chuckle. "You could do whatever you want to me, but that will never take away this moment...hehe"
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lol dem skills doe
also new ship
8642239
Shipping with an OC
You've gone too far
8642255
haven't i already done that with your story?
8642314
I don't think I remember given you have a legion of ships ready to slaughter all in your path with cuddles and warm hugs
8642320
...can i get more ships?
Nice work there having Anon upstage Discord.
Sweet Luna!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!! I was laughing my ass off at the end.
8643647
no. it's some new thing
That is a rather interesting interpretation with this "Suicide" scene. Heh. Shows how Equestria works differently!
Hahahah. Goddangit. You're lucky I had a bowl of almost finished soup in front of me when I spat out my mouthful of water.
Last scene was pretty great.
Got em
That was the most delicious moment in this entire story. I've literally been waiting 161 chapters for when he would actually act like an innocent colt. Delicious.
8642255
OC shipping? Madness!
Madness? No. This is EQUESTRIA!
Not a big fan of the authors notes at the beginning of the chapter they spoil to much. It definitely ruined the window joke.
10694726
Its why i don't do it for book 2. My editor was eccentric, it wasn't until later I even realized he did a terrible job at editing anyway. At this point, i left book 1 as is and take the editing advice of two others to avoid these kinds of foul ups.
8642323
No ye may not! Ye has too many ships already. Leave some for the rest of us ye scurvy bilgerat or I'll have ye keelhauled!