• Published 20th Oct 2017
  • 4,072 Views, 158 Comments

A Diplomatic Visit - Evilhumour



Ponyville is about to get an unexpected visitor - Swift-Pad, a diplomat from the wolf packs.

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Chapter Ten

As Twilight walked with Swift-Pad to the train station, she could make out some sounds but it didn’t make sense to hear them unless...

“Swift-Pad, are those my friends?” Twilight turned to face the lopsided grinning wolf who dipped his head.

“I was informed that her Grace Celestia had made some arrangements to have your friends join you during your visit in Canterlot as to ease the anxiety,” he said, and Twilight let out a small snort at this decision. One one hoof, she didn’t appreciate Princess Celestia acting like this behind her back but on the other hoof, she deeply appreciated it as she could see herself becoming stressed which wouldn’t help anypony.

“I will have to thank her for this,” Twilight said as they climbed onto the train platform and went to greet her friends. “Hi girls!”

“Hi Twilight,” they said in unison before they greeted Spike and Swift-Pad just as warmly.

“How is everyone doing today?” Swift-Pad asked them.

“Ah’m fine sugarcube,” Applejack said. Next to her, Pinkie Pie giggled out her own cheerful response, and Fluttershy nodded before she began letting out little growls at him, which Swift-Pad happily acknowledged with his own.

When they’d finished speaking, Rainbow Dash let out a happy sigh. “I’m always up for a free trip to Canterlot,” she said. Next to her, Rarity gave the prismatic pegasus an exasperated look.

“As for me, I am doing quite well, thank you,” she said.

“Ah, Rarity,” Swift-Pad, turing to face her. “I must thank you for your gift last night.”

“It was nothing, dear,” Rarity said, brushing away the compliment.

“What is he talking about, Rares?” Rainbow Dash asked with a frown as they took their seats.

“Yesterday, I went to Rarity to commission a pair of gloves to help improve his dexterity when he was crafting his runes,” Twilight explained. “She delivered them to us last night while we were having dinner.”

Applejack nodded. “Like those runes you had on that kept Rainbow Dash from knockin’ you six ways from Saturday?” She tilted her head. “Ah didn’t know you made those yourself.”

“It is the way of all Rune Wolves,” Swift-Pad replied. “Very rarely do we ever use a rune that was originally crafted by another, and then only if there is no other option at the time.” He tapped a spot on his saddlebags. “For instance, the runes on this are set to expand the dimensions within the bag as well as set the temperature within. The combination is beyond my own current skill level, so I went to a much more experienced Rune Master to have it crafted.”

“Can’t ya just copy the runes on the bag and learn them yourself?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Copying the form of a rune is one thing,” Swift-Pad replied. “But we must infuse our runes with magic as we are carving them, and the more complex the rune’s shape is, the harder it is to infuse it during the carving process. Also, the Rune Master who created this set hid most of the more complex ones under this common one, so I cannot see what they all look like without disrupting the entire rune spell and I do not want to explain to him how I unwittingly undid all of his hard work.” He gave a weak chuckle as he tried to keep his balance on his seat.

“Gotcha,” Rainbow Dash said, sitting back.

“Twilight herself has started the practice, with some work with the light rune,” Swift-Pad added with all attention back onto her.

“Really Twilight?” Rarity turned to face her.

“Yes and it’s really hard,” Twilight said with a nervous laugh. “I got shocked a lot last night.”

“Care to explain that sugarcube?” Applejack asked.

“Well it takes a lot of work to make a correct rune and and when you mess up it kind of zaps you,” Twilight said.

“Oh my,” Rarity said. “That sounds terrible!”

“It wasn't that painful,” Twilight said. “Really, it’s not!” she quickly added at her friend’s disbelieving look. “I’ve had worse shocks from the static that built up after I was walking on a wool carpet.” She then turned to Swift-Pad who had a clear look of discomfort on his face. “Are you all right?”

“I do not have the best balance on trains, to be honest, Lady Twilight,” he said with a growl as he shifted on the seat. “I do prefer walking for a reason.”

“That’s understandable,” Spike said. “It’s hard for me to walk all the time so it’s easier for me to ride on Twilight's back.”

“That, and you have to take more steps to go the same distance that I do,” Twilight reminded him. “I don’t mind though. There were times I had to do the same thing when I was young.”

Spike smiled gratefully up at her.

“Quite,” Swift-Pad contributed, having settled himself against the window. “Our young ones can have the same issue back home. It is why patience is a required trait for those who are to escort them around.”

There was a round of nods from the others in response, and then a moment or two of silence.

“So Swift-Pad,” Rarity finally asked the wolf. “Have you been to Canterlot before?”

“A few times, though this is the first time I have taken a direct train ride,” he said, shifting his body as he struggled to keep his balance again as the train shifted ever so slightly. “It tends to have more… chances for incidents to occur.”

“What do you mean,” Twilight asked, raising an eyebrow.

“There are organizations that tend to view those that are not ponies to be a dangerous threat that needs to driven out,” he said with a well hidden snarl that she almost missed.

“You mean those PVE idiots?” Rainbow Dash snorted. “Buck them.”

“Rainbow Dash!” Twilight turned to look at her friend in shock.

“Dashie’s got a point about those meanies,” Pinkie spoke up. “They’re all kinds of jerks who like to make non-ponies look bad. I’d never throw them a party.”

Twilight could barely process that there were ponies whom her party loving friend would actually refuse to throw one for. “Just who… and what is this PVE group, anyway?”

“Pony Vegan Environmentalists,” Applejack spoke up. “We had a couple of ‘em varmints drop by the farm a while back when they heard ma little sis was hanging around with a zebra. Granny gave ‘em what-for and told ‘em never to come back.”

“Ah,” Swift-Pad nodded. “This would be the Zecora your sister mentioned when she and I first met yesterday?”

“Exactly,” Applejack said firmly. “They’re a bunch of pony-supremacists,” she explained to Twilight. “Say that ponies should just be for ponies, and that all the others should just go away and stop existin’. An’ they send out their pamphlets and things in the mail to try an’ make everypony else think their way.”

Twilight looked at her in shock. “How can anypony… that’s disgusting!”

Applejack shrugged. “Scary thing is, some ponies actually listen to ‘em.”

“Yeah,” Rainbow Dash added. “None of us take ‘em seriously though. Only reason I ever keep some of their pamphlets is to use ‘em for chimney starters.”

There were a lot of odd looks at that, and she shrugged. “What? I need something to prime the charcoal with when I’m grilling carrots or hayburgers.”

“I didn’t know you even had a grill,” Twilight said.

“I’m a mare of many talents,” Rainbow Dash said lightly as she put her front legs behind her head. “Dad actually taught me how to do a lot of that stuff back in the day, so I like to get it out every once in a while.”

“Entertaining as this digression into Rainbow Dash’s cooking ability has been, I think we have gotten off the point,” Rarity said. “Twilight, darling, have you really never heard of that horrific hate-group?”

Twilight shook her head. “I knew there were ponies who didn’t like non-ponies, but I had no idea they were that organized. And whenever I did hear somepony being nasty about it, I usually just avoided them so as not to cause a scene.”

“Well as a leader, you will need to keep an open ear and eye to the world around you to see how things are,” Swift-Pad opined.

Twilight stared at him and shifted in her seat before she finally spoke. “Swift-Pad, what do other people think of Equestria?”

The question seemed to catch Swift-Pad off guard with the wolf suddenly looking away from her. “That is a delicate question, Lady Twilight,” he said, shifting uncomfortably. “Perhaps it would best wait until her Grace Celestia-”

“Please, Swift-Pad,” Twilight interrupted him. “You alone have an outside viewpoint and as your student and friend, it would help me learn more about my duties.”

He let out a sigh before he turned to face her. “If you wish to know, Equestria is viewed as… an unintentional bully.”

“I’m so-I beg your pardon but I am very confused to how that is the case,” Twilight said, catching her slip in time but still very surprised by his statement.

“Well to start off with, what is the one resource that you Equestrians hold a monopoly on that the rest of the world cannot do without?” he asked her while turning his face to the window.

Twilight turned to look where he was staring and, as her eyes drifted to Celestia’s sun, she gasped.

“You’re talking about Princess Celestia withholding the sun?” she asked in shock. “She’s never done that or would.”

“And the moon before her Grand Grace Luna appeared,” Swift-Pad tipped his head. “And while it is true there are no records of Grace Celestia withholding the day and night from any nation, the fact that she could is always present in the back of the head of every diplomat and every deal done with Equestria,” he added. “How can any nation hope to survive if they suddenly find themselves without the light of the day or night sustaining their lands because of a slight against Equestria?” He then let out a sigh, moving upright. “In addition, most of the world views ponies as being very... bombastic about their nation’s ideals and views towards others regardless of situation,” he said before giving her a steady look. “You know of the region you call Appolose, right?”

“Appleloosa,” Applejack corrected. “And if’n yer talkin’ about the dispute we had with the buffalo, we settled that matter a long time back.”

“It shouldn’t have been a matter in the first place,” he huffed at her. “That region was for years their sacred stampeding grounds, and ponies simply moved in and claimed it.”

“Because they didn’t know it was already taken,” Rainbow Dash spoke up. “And I told them they should have moved those trees out of the way once they found out.”

“That first part is a lie,” he snapped before turning to face Twilight. “Twilight, I do believe if you consult any world map made outside Equestria, you would have seen that region was never part of your soil until these ponies tried to claim it. And to claim such land, you would have needed to see if anyone else owned it which can be done by checking with the International Border Organization. If this were any other nation invading another, you would have seen numerous groups demanding their exit for this illegal settlization. As this was Equestria, the rest of the world was hesitant to get involved and I suppose your actions helped de-escalate the situation to where the buffalos share their land with those settlers.”

He then turned to face Rainbow Dash. “That was just a minor example of Equestria bullying its way in and doing what it wishes; you’re aware of why the other nations are so hesitant to do anything, right?”

Rainbow Dash frowned. “The griffons,” she muttered with Swift-Pad nodding his head.

“What do you mean by the griffons?” Twilight asked, feeling the need to calm herself down at hearing his allegations.

“Around a hundred and fifty years ago, there was a young griffon king by the name John that was being tutored in Equestria,” Swift-Pad said. “He was enamored by the Equestrian culture so much that he wanted to fix his own nations’ wrongs to match that of Equestria. Back then, it was somewhat acceptable for nations to conduct raids onto others; every nation did it, even Equestria despite her Grace Celestia’s continuous speeches to bring it to an end.” He gave them a sideways glance. “So this young king decided, over the screams of his advisers and her Grace Celestia’s own words, to sign an international agreement to bring raids to an end.” He let out a sigh and tapped the bench. “The bill was good in theory but he didn’t read past the first pages and missed how the restitutions would be handled.”

“What do you mean,” Twilight asked, leaning in closer.

“Every nation would be required to fine those who had participated in the raids and have the items they stole returned,” he said. “For most nations, this wasn’t an issue as they had not taken much and it was very easy to repay and return what was taken. For the griffons, however, this is where the issues began. They were a nation that had raiding as a cultural aspect of their society; it was a rite of passage into adulthood and how many former great griffon families rose to power. This money was tied deeply within their economy and before this bill had been passed, the griffon Eagle was the global currency and not the Equestrian bit. After this bill had been passed, all of the money that had any remote ties to being retrieved through raids overseas was frozen. This crippled their economy overnight and made countless families unable to even buy a loaf of bread as their bank accounts were being examined to see what parts were product of the raids and which were legitimate by the international debt assessment corp that was set up to deal with the griffon's finances as it was fairly substantial.”

“How much was it in the end?” Twilight asked, dreading the answer.

“I never said that they were finished,” Swift-Pad said coldly. “They are still going over the paperwork to this day despite countless demands from both the griffon government and her Grace Celestia to move faster. Every attempt to have specialists take over has been vetoed by other nations with grudges against the griffons.” He gave her another look. “The damage done to the griffons is immense. Their currency has been inflated to the point where dirt on the ground is worth more than their highest domination, most griffon citizens have crippling debt due to interest over the years and if or when they are finally allowed to use their bank accounts again, nearly all of them will be driven even further into bankruptcy as they will be forced to repay those whom their ancestors stole from. All because of this one griffon who was enthralled with Equestrian values, this nation was completely and utterly devastated, and is still reeling from this sole decision.” He huffed again and rested his head on his paws. “While her Grace took actions to prevent this from happening, many people are still uncertain if this was a deliberate act or not from her government to ensure Equestria will eclipse the former griffon kingdom. Regardless, once the damage was seen every nation changed to protect themselves. Diamond Dogs took to wearing collars to make themselves appear less threatening and wild, the minotaurs began sharing details in how to create their airships, the Saddle Arabians sharing their once private sword martial arts and we…” he trailed off with his ears flattening down. “We announced that we would never eat any creature that had been named; not that we ever did do such an act, but there were always rumours about it and our declaration was made to silence those rumours.”

“Whatever happened to king John?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Oh he suffered a mysterious fatal accident shortly after he signed that bill and his brother Gichard took the throne,” Swift-Pad snorted. “There was never any official investigation into his death and if the stories are true, there were celebrations when he died. But you can see why many other nations have a somewhat distant relationship to Equestria and view your nation as overbearing at times.” His ear flicked and he added, “There is also the fact her Grace Celestia has yet to deal with PVE as she is the sole person that can probably bring a halt to their action.”

“If she tried, she’d probably wind up with a revolt on her hooves,” Spike said with a snort of disgust. “‘Cause the way some of those nobles looked at me when I was living in Canterlot, they probably felt the same way but didn’t want to make it obvious.”

“That is correct, young one,” Swift-Pad said. “And more than likely why she has yet to make an official statement one way or another. If she speaks out against them, then there will be no end of accusations of her abandoning her citizens to side with outsiders and if she speaks for them…”

“Then she’d ruin any chance of ever making friends with any non-ponies in and out of Equestria?” Fluttershy said.

“Not only that, but it would put every pony outside of Equestria in danger,” Twilight said with slow horror dawning in her mind and it only grew deeper when Swift-Pad nodded his head in agreement. “She could have spoken out against them, even to say at the very least that she doesn’t approve or something, right?”

“For her, it is too late at this point,” Swift-Pad said. “Too much time has passed for her to act and now, I think, she is simply waiting for them to die off as she has that luxury.”

“...but I’m young enough to say something, right?” Twilight asked with hope in her voice.

“And naïve enough for it to be believable for you to only now learn of them,” Swift-Pad added with a smirk on his face. “And since it is the truth, it will be even more effective if you choose to speak out.”

Twilight just barely kept herself from doing something she knew she’d regret - for the sake of her dignity, if nothing else. “At any rate, I do have some other questions while I’m thinking about things,” she said. “First off… Spike, if ponies were acting like that towards you when we were in Canterlot, why didn’t you ever say anything to me?” The concern in her tone was obvious.

Spike looked up at her, and sighed. “Because it never went any further than dirty looks,” he said. “If they’d ever tried anything more than that, I’d have told you, but there’s no law against just looking at someone that way. Besides, it was mostly nobles who did that, and they look at almost everyone that way.”

“Spike… you’re my special little guy,” Twilight said softly. “I still wish you’d told me when it happened.” Her horn glowing, she levitated him closer and wrapped one leg around him.

Accepting the hug, Spike smiled up at her. “Thanks, Twilight.”

Smiling back at Spike, Twilight then turned to face Swift-Pad, “Secondly, what do you meant I can use my naivety?”

“It is known that you are new to the international stage and that of politics, and thus less aware of the norms and unspoken rules in place,” Swift-Pad said. “You are in the unique position to do what others cannot do as they would believe you did not know better.” Twilight blanched at that but Swift-Pad shook his head. “This is a good thing; there are strict rules and agreements that we all need to dance to and obey lest we send the vast machine that is international relations to the floor in a bed of chaos. You can do what you want without too much ruffled fur as everyone will believe it was you simply doing what you thought was right; another John move as it is known as.”

“Hopefully without somepony whacking you, Twi,” Rainbow Dash added.

Twilight gave her a dirty look before turning back to Swift-Pad. “I just hope I can actually accomplish something this way and not have everything blocked by certain self-centered individuals just because I am less experienced…”

“I do not believe her Grace Celestia would stand for that,” Swift-Pad reassured her. “She may not be as open about it at the time, but in the experience of myself and my fellows, she does tend to place her support behind those whom she approves of, and behind their efforts.”

Twilight smiled gratefully.


Some time later, Twilight could see that they were approaching the Canterlot station when Swift-Pad stood up. “Your Grace, I do believe we should freshen ourselves up before we arrive,” he give her a lopsided smile before looking at Rarity. “I do believe you have her regalia and the tools to aid her?”

“Princess Celestia personally asked me to pack them as we know our dear friend Twilight isn’t too keen on being seen as a princess,” she said with a smile on her face while Twilight simply pouted at that. “Now come along darling, we have some work to do.”

Still grimacing, Twilight followed her into one restroom as Swift-Pad went into another.

“Now while I would normally like to give you a proper princess makeover, I was asked to keep things a bit more simple,” Rarity said with a light smile as she pulled a couple bottles of shampoo out from her bag as well as few different style brushes. She then pushed some of the shampoo out and levitated it over to Twilight’s mane. “This shouldn’t take any time at all, Twilight, if we both act as mature adults.”

Twilight braced herself but nodded her head. “Just as long as you keep away from my eyes.”

“I have dealt with Sweetie covered in sap more than once; I know how to avoid getting shampoo in the eyes,” Rarity tutted as she began to lather Twilight’s mane and coat. Inwardly, Twilight winced a bit, but then calmed herself as she let her friend do what she’d been asked.


It was only a short time later before Twilight left the bathroom, her mane and coat brushed and shining to a respectful degree and her seldom used golden regalia settled onto her head. Twilight couldn’t help but steal a look up at her crown, the object feeling so awkward on her brow. Of course, this was only the second or third time she’d really had need to wear it, since she’d retired her original after the Element of Magic had gone…

“Are you prepared, your Grace?” Swift-Pad’s voice caused her to lift her head. The wolf now had his own coat seemingly well brushed and shining, with several of his runes sticking out from around his neck… which was probably on purpose as he usually had them hidden within his coat.

“Ye-yes I am and I thought we were being more informal with how we talked to each other,” Twilight said with a bit of a frown on her face.

“In private, it is fine for us to address one another by first names, but not in the public eye,” he said walking towards his seat. “It is not only improper but gives the media… improper ideas.” His face blanched at that and it took Twilight a moment to realize what he was saying.

“No offense, but that’s just… wrong,” she said, making a face. “We’re friends, but… well, I’m really not looking for anyone, pony or non-pony, like that right now. I’ve got way too much else to focus on to even start thinking about romance!”

“But weren’t you interested in that one- mmph!” Pinkie’s voice was cut off when Applejack stuck a hoof over her mouth.

Regardless of what you or I think or feel, those in the news industry will interpret it as something,” Swift-Pad said dryly. “They rather tend to, shall we say, embellish. To make mountains out of molehills, all for the sake of sensationalism and better sales on their stories. There is a reason that the less ethical reporters are thought of as the lowest of the low where I come from.” He gave a disgusted snort before he replaced it with one of his diplomatic neutral faces that Twilight knew was meant to be disarming for ponies.

“So what do I need to do?” Twilight asked as she started to move to her seat only for Rarity to cough loudly and stopped in her tracks.

“Just smile and wave and walk as quickly as you can without running to the carriage waiting for us,” Swift-Pad answered. “The rest of you will be taken care of by the guards and discreetly moved into the castle.” He then flicked his eyes to Twilight. “Just follow my pace, your Grace, and everything will be fine.”

“Thank you, Ambassador Swift-Pad,” Twilight said, tipping her head forwards with the wolf smiling at her choice of words.