~ After many months of lost time and anxious readers...The story MUST...go on...
When Prince Blueblood is kidnapped and the University Dean is left for dead, Daring Do vows revenge against the killer. However, when she is sent incognito to the headquarters of a possible conspirator, she realizes it is all a part of something much deeper than petty ransom. She later crosses paths with the shadowy Mysterious Mare-Do-Well and together they will band to fight against a great threat that will affect not only the capital, but perhaps Equestria, and even the entire world...
Special thanks to my proofreader, Blaster Master and his keen eye.
Special thanks to fongsaunder for his cover image. If not for this awesome piece of art, this fan fic would not have been. (http://fongsaunder.deviantart.com/)
Hi guys! Let me know your thoughts on the story. Mainly my pacing with the plot, I seem to have trouble with that. I'd appreciate some advice.
Nicely written fight sequence. Being bipeds, it's hard for us humans to imagine how equids would fight if they had sentience as well as instinct on their side. I think that you did a good job here.
As for the story, it's difficult to see where things are going. This has the feel of a pre-titles teaser sequence to me, so I'll be looking to see if the second chapter (or first proper chapter, if you prefer) hooks me into this story for the long-term. Until then!
Chapter 2 is under review tonight! Maybe uploaded tomorrow afternoon or Monday afternoon, depending on it's amount of errors. Stay tuned folks.
That was a ponified version of the kidnapping scene from the James Bond film 'The Living Daylights'. If you follow the same idea (and I admit that there's no compelling reason to suspect that you are) then Blueblood actually arranged his own kidnapping. Or would 'foalnapping' be a more accurate term?
I hope that the Dean is okay though.
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Oooooh Some Brony has done his homework
Nice one. I'll leave you and the rest of my readers guessing. Maybe he did plan it, maybe he didn't. You'll have wait for chapter three to learn more.
Also it's one of my favorite action scenes in the 007 franchise so I couldn't help myself
But don't worry, I have plenty of original ideas of my own. It's very seldom for me to plagiarize unless I am writing a direct or semi-direct crossover.
Chapter 3 is here! Finally
Really sorry for the big delay. I had a lot on my plate this week. I hope you guys like the new chapter. If you can, please let me know about 'pacing', as that seems to be where my problems usually end up. Enjoy!
So, it seems that an old enemy is, at the very least, an enabler in this matter. If he's anything like Rene Belloch in Raiders of the Lost Ark, then he's going to be a very, very unethical archaeologist who tells himself that he just does what it takes. Because of that, I'm betting that Blueblood may be needed to open a gateway to some archaeological treasure that is only accessible to one of the Unicorn Royal Family (and is weak-willed enough to either break at the mere threat of torture and stupid enough to believe Jack and D'Angelo when they promise him an equal share). D'Angelo just wouldn't be interested, no matter what the pay-off, if there wasn't any archaeology. If I'm right then this is likely going to start feeling like a Lara Croft: Tomb Raider movie.
MDW is coming from the other direction. Union Jack strikes me as a possible theme master criminal. The corporation is likely just a front to help him fence stolen goods and launder funds. My bet is that he is the Big Bad with D'Angelo only being around for his practical skills. However, it is just possible that there is an as-yet-unseen Big Bad who is either manipulating or simply employing the other two to do his/her dirty work for them.
Chapter 4 is going under review! Really sorry for the long wait, trying to study for exams and everything, it's not all that easy. I can promise all you readers a next chapter as soon as possible.
Really sorry for the long wait, guys. Trying to keep up with this as well as mid-terms. Hope you enjoy!
So, a bit of a Bond villain there, with a recreation of SPECTRE - Global anarchy for fun and profit. The big question, of course is... who is Number One? And will he let his subordinates survive their failure? I can see Giovanni turning up dead, mostly as a "incentive" for Jack and Stratus to try harder.
Interesting, so someone has restarted a terrorist organisation that had been a gangster's little sojourn into megalomania and attempted world domination. One wonders who but, ultimately, we only need the title - 'Number One'. There is one major problem in his plan though - he's assuming Daring is out of the equation without good reason. Maybe he thinks that Mare-do-Well will want to live up to her reputation as a Lone Wolf and not inform the authorities but that's another dangerous assumption to make.
That was a very, very SPECTRE, moment, by the way - Killing someone else in front of your under-performing agent, just to remind them of their duties and how easily they could meet a similar fate. "This is the price of failure, Miss Do!"
1544316 I gotta say, I love reading your comments! I'm really glad to see you're enjoying the story.
Thanks for your support!
Well, this is certainly very ominous... (Dun dun dunnn!)
(Joke) Alt. Titles: Daring Do And Mare-Do-Well's Radical Adventure and Do And Doer
1795020 Haha Great suggestions
Maybe that would be good for a sequel if there should be one
I can not wait for more
Fine job sir
Can't wait for Chapter 10! All in all I must say this is getting more and more exciting, with just the right amount of mystery, action, and of course friendship. Keep it up and I eagerly await the next installment.
1999052 Glad to see you're enjoying it! :D I always aim to release a chapter once every two weeks, so with any luck I'll have another one out very soon.
This story is too good NOT to continue. It's basically a pony version of Indiana Jones teaming up with Batman to fight SPECTRE. I LOVE IT! The team up works very well, the mystery is gripping, and the fight choreography is exciting. I dig this fic, as you may have noticed.
3172261 It's been picking at my mind lately xD You're right. I put it on the shelf because my college work was piling up like hell but as of late, more and more people are starting to favorite it. I'm gonna have to try and revive it. I mean I got the story, I just need to put it to words.
I've been wanting a good proofreader as well, someone who can take care of that while I continue to write. Also thank you for your kind words. It kills me that I left it off on a cliffhanger as well xD Something must be done!
3174978 I'm always happy to give praise where it's due. And I'd be over the moon if you finished the story. I'll even offer my services as a proof-reader, if you're interested
Funny, I read this on September 26th!
just read through this whole thing, and I must say, I am looking forwards to Union's battle. After all, the best way to get a better rose to bloom, is to cut off the old one's head.
Oooo....
So the thorny one still remains, but things are certainly coming to the climax. I'm glad to see this is still ongoing!
Don't you mean revolutionaries
I really love how you have given Mare-Do-Well's HQ personality, especially her "normal" bedroom. Kind of slowly revealing a little bit about the mysterious mare herself.
I wonder what are Mare-Do-Well's "other enemies" (possibly similar to Batman's rouges galleries, but just a thought). Speaking of which, when I read that quote, it somehow gives me Lemony Snicket vibes. At least, in the sense that both have unnamed enemies that are after them, and thus leaves their true face obscured and having only associates for friends (or lack thereof in Mare-Do-Well's case).
Disclaimer: spoiler for chapter 2
So, when Mare-Do-Well spit that chemical into Union Jack's eyes, that was how he got the eypatch?
Hey, I really love the story that you have set up so far. I have actually started creating a TV tropes works page for it. However, the page is still a work-in-progress, and I need somepony, er, somebody's help with it.
This is the link to it.
Wait
Doesn't that contradict the following from Chapter 5,
or was that a different secretary of Union Jack's located in Canterlot?
To expand on my previous comment this what I have to say.
You brought the two heroes of the MLP-verse and brought them together in a way that forms a wonderful (and awesome) friendship between the two.
)
...
I really, really, love it!
To name some of the strong points I noticed
*The action scenes were awesome and detailed, as was the somber parts of the story.
(Examples: Daring Do and Giovanni's first confrontation, and Mare-Do-Well comforting Daring Do)
*When reading on Daring Do and Mare-Do-Well’s personality, it was almost like reading Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkler. (Was this intentional?
*I love how you made Mare-Do-Well actually mysterious to the reader, as well as having a witty personality to her. Throughout the story, for every secret about her revealed, the more mysteries thatt I was surprised that she allows herself to laugh a lot, though that might be me thinking about Batman. Which reminds me, were you inspired by The Shadow character, who laughs a lot?
My only gripes about the fic might be that Mare-Do-Well being a guardian of Equestia might be a huge task on a pony (I can’t think of one word to describe it), but then again, she does have her gadgets and transportation to aid her (plus a teleportation spell), and Equestia is not too big of a kingdom to tackle (plus having headquarters in the capital/train hub helps). Plus, that might makes her as something of a cowboy traveling through the land stopping crime. I guess you was trying to make her more of a crime–fighter who roams the land for trouble to quell. A cowboy of sorts.
Wow, I just counter-argued my own criticism, heh.
There was also one error I noticed that I noticed in Chapter 9, but I commented on that already. Also, I did not realize this until after re-reading the fanfiction the 3rd or 4th time, so this minor as well.
Nonetheless, this is a great work that probably deserves more favorites than it does. I do hope that you would be able to complete this awesome story, but I fully understand that your life comes first.
PS: I rather you do not concern yourself with any grammatical errors that might still be in the story, and probably just work on those after the story is completed.
It's cancelled?
Well it was fun reading this fanfiction. I know you probably was busy with other things in your life, which is okay.
Though, will you reveal what you planned on how you was going to end the story?
But either way, thank you for writing this story. It was a story that I will treasure.
Out of honest curiosity, why did you cancel the story?
6238243 Say! These are pretty neat! Thank you! :D
6238699 OH look a plot hole...Not too big though, I'll just patch that up when I get off work. Great eye, sir ;p
6238712 Gear (as well as all my other wonderful readers), your inspiring and admirable words always bring elation to my face and I thank you all. As for the grammatical errors here and there I try to sift through each chapter as much as I can before I release something and sometimes bits and pieces slip through the cracks. Literature was actually never my strong point but I always enjoyed telling great stories. So please forgive my sometimes quirky grammar as I will do my absolute best to bring you guys quality chapters. And fun fact: I have actually never watched a single thing with batman in it my whole life. I do indeed take aspects of him into MDW's character though, but only from what I know from hearing about him and what people have told me.
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Your welcome.
I think that you could add this story to the "The Mysterious Mare Do Well" group as well, when you can of course.
Kinda late to post, could've sworn I posted my response earlier, but oh well.
Man, you came back with a bang in this chapter. Daring Do and Nimble Stratus fight was awesome and very, very intense. I was actually wondering if Daring Do would survive that one, but then again, the story would've became "Daring Dead and the Mysterious Mare-Do-Well."
)
Also, Mare-Do-Well and Union Jack's little monologue was pretty neat to, going further into the organizations goals and a little bit of Mare-Do-Well's own motivation for protecting Equestria (Which was spoken with quite an amount of pride. Getting boastful are we, Mare-Do-Well?
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Wow, thank you!
And understandable for the grammar and literature. Personally, writing stories can be rather painful, as spoken from someone who has been on a writer's block for his own original (and non-fanfic) story for the past few years. And I'm admittedly not to sure if my own grammar is as good as the average person.
Never saw a Batman story in your life? Interesting. But it's alright, all the more for originality. Heh if anything, it probably would be more like the Shadow than modern-day Batman, as the Shadow (well, and Gold Age Batman) both were willing to kill the criminals. Of course, your MDW is more of the "kill them when there's not much choice. (And again, I am not to well in-depth of the Shadow and Golden Age Batman to know to what were the limits of their will to kill.)
I thought I commented this chapter
Oh Well...
This has been another epic chapter. I love the parrell fights of Daring Do and MDW facing of their adversaries for the last time.
MDW is in serieous trouble, and Daring Do herself, while still functioing, maybe still reeling from her last fight.
And now HURRICANE is coming in on the Duo, and the Royal Guard could be coming pretty soon. Who knows what will occur in the ensuing confrontations?
I'm tuning in on the next show! Er chapter...
Oh yeah, if you have the time, can you add the link to the tv tropes page for your story in the summary?
It is right here
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/FanFic/DaringDoAndTheMysteriousMareDoWellCanterlotCrisis
Good to see the next chapter of this! I had given the story up for dead, to be honest, but I'm glad to be wrong!
Is this story discontinued?