Well, That Was Quick.
Celestia walked into Twilight's Crystal Castle, re-reading the note that was sent to her via green dragon fire. She was baffled. Normally if Twilight wanted to get in touch with her, she would just send a letter. But this time, Twilight asked her to come in person. Pony. Whatever.
Celestia knocked on Twilight's castle doors and walked on inside, as she was accustomed. Her and Twilight's friendly relationship evolved to the point where walking casually into each other's castles wasn't a big deal. However, once she was inside, she stopped, staring at the purple alicorn standing at the top of her grand stairway.
"PRINCESS CELESTIA!" she called in an overdramatic fashion. Celestia had only seen Twilight yell like this once before, and she made it to the mare's room just in time. So this was clearly important. "Ponyville will endure your Tyranny no longer! We declare our independence from the Equestrian State!"
And that's how Ponyville became an independent country.
Silence.
Celestia stared up at Twilight with wide eyes.
"Uh, no you aren't."
And that's how Ponyville became an independent country for seven seconds.
"Awww, Really?" Twilight said with a sigh as she descended the stairs. "I had my own cape and scepter and everything. Like, we planned this."
"Twilight, have you even ran a country before? Governing is really hard."
"Well, no. But I organized a book club before. Ponies came for two weeks. But all they wanted to do was drink wine and talk about stallion dick sizes. They didn't even care about reading The Count of Equi Cristo."
"First, that book is garbage," Celestia said flatly. "This is why you’re still single. Take it from an immortal. You should have tried a smut book. Last time I did that, I accidentally got ponies to make BSDM clubs. But that's not the point. Governing is really hard."
"It can't be that hard," Twilight replied. "Mayor Mare just cries a lot and shows up when new buildings open. I get this feeling she really doesn't like me. I tried sending her new hair dyes as an apology, but she said if I didn't know what I did wrong that it was part of the problem."
Celestia shook her head in disappointment.
"So, were you trying to have Ponyville secede from Equestria to make Mayor Mare happy?"
"Yeah!" Twilight said happily. "Don't you think that's a good plan?"
The Princess of the Sun chuckled under her breath. Oh, how fast some students grow up. One moment, they're gushing to you about boy crushes, the next they're instigating Civil War without realizing the long term consequences. How cute.
"Twilight, let's sit down as I tell you a little story."
Twilight set two cups of tea down on her kitchen table as Celestia cleared her throat.
"Now, Twilight. Did you know that I had to deal with something very similar when I was a much younger princess? When Luna and I were still working together in perfect harmony?"
"No!" Twilight said happily, pulling up a chair for story time.
"Oh yes," Celestia said. "There was a small city at the edge of Equestria to the North, just before the mountains of Yak Yakistan. There was a mayor pony who was extremely disgruntled with her job, because it seemed like the rules that Luna and I would place would overrule how she would like to govern. She wanted to allow polyamory. We did not. She wanted to create an extremely strong army in case the yaks invaded from the north. We wanted them to just trust that we would handle any sort of war acts against them with our own army."
Celestia paused to take a sip from her tea.
"So, then, we placed a new Princess there. And the townspeople loved the new Princess. The Mayor was furious. She began to corrupt the new Princess. And soon, they declared themselves a Free and Independent Empire."
"Wow," Twilight said. "Do you mean, The Crystal Empire?"
"Darn it, Twilight," Celestia chided. "That was the big twist. How could you?"
"Wait, Really?"
"Yeah. Ugh. I mean, I was going to do this big dramatic build up. It was going to be so cool. I would blow your mind! Then you'd get that little face you'd get when I turned your kitty into a potted plant."
"Wait, I never had a kitty," Twilight said.
"Wait, that wasn't you? I swore you... oh right. You were the dragon one. Never mind. Anyway. Yeah. Totally wrecked the story."
The princess sighed before taking another sip of her drink.
"So, so you want to hear the rest of the story or not?"
Twilight nodded sheepishly.
"Okay, so. Right. Crystal Empire. Those dorks. They declared independence. And we entertained them for a while. But soon it became clear that they weren't going to come back. It wasn't like a filly who ran away from home and would come back around dinner time. Somehow they learned how to cook. Er. Fend for themselves. So I did the only rational thing a calm, reasonable leader would do."
"What's that?" Twilight asked.
"Oh! It was really simple. I hired a supernatural stallion and wiped them off the map with fire and fury."
Silence.
"Oh. Right," Twilight muttered. "That did happen."
"So, what have we learned, Twilight?" Celestia said with a wide smile.
"M-make friends with Mayor Mare?"
"Close! Celestia said happily, rising from her chair. "If you declare independence once more time, I'll destroy you and your friends with fire and fury. Every Ponyville home will be reduced to nothing but ash, and we’ll find a new Princess of Friendship. Buuuut, this time I'll let it slide." Celestia rubbed Twilight's left cheek. "Cause you're sooo cute when you’re scared. Now then, I must be off. This tea really was divine and I’m happy we had this lovely talk. Ta-Ta! Till next time, Twilight!"
And with a bright white flash, Celestia teleported out of the room, leaving Twilight alone with two cups of tea.
"Huh," Twilight said quietly. "Well, I guess this means I won’t get those five bits from Mayor Mare now. This sucks."
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- CategoricalGrant · 2.1k words · 670 15 · 11k views
- All Art Is Quite Useless · 6.2k words · 679 63 · 11k views
- naturalbornderpy · 2.9k words · 387 7 · 5.1k views
- naturalbornderpy · 3.2k words · 576 33 · 8.1k views
- Silent Whisper · 3.8k words · 216 7 · 3.1k views
- Flutterpriest · 1.2k words · 578 25 · 8.2k views
- Redrose99875 · 1.1k words · 14 5 · 1.9k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.218 seconds
Total duration
1,073 users online
1,874,849 hits today, 2,561,572 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
...and that's how Equestria was made, WITH FIRE AND FURY!
*the curious white fox reads, floofs tails, and nods* seems legit.
Almost as long as Catalonia. Kek.
Silly Twilight your a puppet dictator, don't forget that or Celestia might cut your strings.
: O
: D
I loved the story so I made an alternate ending.
8495917
Nice. :3
I would love to see how exactly Celestia would wipe them off the map. You would get some EXCELLENT redneck warfare from Applejack and her Granny, I have no doubt.
"GIT OFFA MY PROPERTY YA DURN GOVERNMENT!!!!"
That part is actually canon!
See 0:44.
This story is so random and original ... I LOVE IT!!!
What if Twilight marries Mayor Mare?
I chuckled. have a
dickingI mean upvote.Twilight learned a valuable lesson today: When declaring independence from Equestria, don't half-ass it. Next time, she'll be much more discreet. And much less polite.
What? What else was she supposed to learn from this?
I want a scene of Twilight and her Book Club ponies talking about stallion dick sizes.
Nah, Trollestia and Tyrantia is old joke now.
''No war this year then''
Wait so Celestia hired Somba to take over the Crystal Empire
.
Well you learn something new everyday huh?
8496061
new4.fjcdn.com/comments/Worst+part+is+i+dont+even+know+what+id+do+_999563915497ea0f134911ca484cca83.jpg
Guess the South really did rise again and it ended exactly as everyone expected.
Celestia forgets the crucial part that if Ponyville becomes independent, it'll be a nation completely surrounded by another nation. A nation in a nation.
She could look out the window and see how the Ponyvillians are doing while eating popcorn or something. It'll be like having a zoo, but a nation.
What am I even saying anymore?
Celestia and Twilight seem to have some very interesting book clubs.
Also, I have to subtract points for Celestia not saying "do it faggot." Sad!
The difference between a funny story and a really, really dark story is how it's delivered. Comedy is nonchalant, deadpan, or even cheery; dark stories are serious and ominous, building up to a final horrific truth.
I mean, some comedy is purely lighthearted... but the real stuff leaves you slightly unnerved and questioning everything you know.
I don't seem to like this vindictive side of Celestia. Sending sombra to destroy a city that seceded from her? Not cool, and not funny.
8496476
Destroy is such a strong word... cleanse seems more appropriate
8496522
BEST. TURIAN.
8495917
Hahahahaha! That's actually better.
I guess Celestia forgot to read to Twilight If You Give an Alicorn a City when she was little.
8496523
She's the only thing that made Andromeda playable!
But...But Vetra!?
8495866
Twi and friends have a habit of "befriending" powerful beings that cross them, I've noticed...
8496523
BEST. PONY.
8496701
'Glances your way and gives you a winning smirk'
"Oh really?"vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/masseffect/images/e/ed/Garrus_archangel.png/revision/latest?cb=20110131183321
A backstory for Sunset Shimmer?
8495917
I approve
Well, the writing here is mostly solid, I see no glaring issues.
On the other hand, there's too much discarded canon and over-the-top antics for my taste.
Ah well, serves me right for ignoring the [Random] tag.
heh heh nightmare fuel tyrant celestia is funny
8496745
Celestia has a problem she throws Twilight at it. She's her favorite pawn.
"Accidentally," sure thing princess.
I'm guessing they were all incredibly disappointed that Big Mac's name did not apply to his dick, and were pleasantly surprised that Caramel was huge.
Don't worry Twilight, you could still shout that Celestia is getting evil and that is why she attack Ponyville, that her soldiers are damaging Ponyville and begin to moan and protest to the griffons and dragons.
It's not going to do anything, but well...
8497166
She's also very heavy, so there's a pleasing "smack" sound on impact.
Anyone has the power to wipe a location off the map.
Doesn’t matter how large, powerful, or economically-efficient it is...
You just need an eraser of questionable size...
I have absolutely no idea what the f
k just happened, but I have this strange feeling that my life is complete now.
So, uh... thanks?
Celestia, you are so random
As the alternate ending proves, Twilight and friends actually have quite a bit of power behind them, in both magical prowess, and in their connections. Let's see...
Twilight and the Mane Six themselves hold a lot of power, in the Elements of Harmony, as well as the Rainbow Power, both of which they now have full access to. On top of that, Twilight herself is an Alicorn, which is a significant power boost. As well, she has had all of Celestia's, Luna's, and Cadance's full power within herself when she fought Tirek; Twilight knows what all Celestia can do.
Applejack is incredibly strong, which is kinda worrying in itself, but the real threat with her is the extended Apple Clan. From what little of it we've seen, the Apple Clan is spread all over Equestria, and has its hooves nearly everywhere. How much of the nation's GNP is actually on their backs, and how fast will Equestria's coffers run dry when they find out Celestia took out Sweet Apple Acres (which seems to be a central/important farm within the Apple Network)? Then there's the Riches the Apples are connected to. What social networks do they have, and with Apple Bloom and Diamond Tiara making friends with each other, how much closer are the two families now? Money talks, and nations listen to it.
Speaking of money, there's Rarity and her fashion empire. While nowhere near as extensive as the Apple Clan, she's in high society circles, and the right words in the right ears (Fancy Pants, perhaps?) can easily bring any ruler to their knees. It has happened enough times here on Earth to be enough of a threat anywhere.
Rainbow Dash is fast, headstrong, tough as nails, and loyal to Ponyville and her friends to a fault. She wouldn't think twice about squaring up against anypony that would threaten her friends and home. Now that she has Wonderbolt training to go with her black belt in Karate, she's one helluva fighter.
Fluttershy would probably cower at the idea of having to fight against Celestia, but her backbone at knowing her friends would be hurt would press her into action. Animals are everywhere in Equestria, and make for the perfect spy network. As we've seen in the comics, she can even mobilize them into a pretty terrifying army. Then there's The Stare. Not sure it would work on Celestia, but the rank and file would be another thing.
Oh, and Discord might have a thing or two to say about any harm that came to Fluttershy. You know, the guy who took over Equestria because it was a Tuesday? The guy who makes chocolate rain fall up to fill a glass from the top down? Makes a mockery of the very concept of physics? Yeah, him.
And speaking of breaking physics, Pinkie Pie would throw Celestia the last party she'd every have. For all the fun, games, and jokes she's all about, Pinkie is the one pony that's the most capable of being an assassin there is. You can't run from her (Dash tried), you can't hide from her (again, something Dash tried), you'll only die tired and with a smile of your face. Forever.
Oh, and Maud will break you if you harm one perfectly cured hair on her little sister. Also, the Yaks will have plenty to say about harm coming to their honorary pink pony yak.
Spike, while not the most physically imposing dragon (he is still a child, after all), he does have access to dragonfire, which is pretty potent in itself. It's also a great communication tool, one that can easily be used to notify Dragon Lord Ember that he and his friends are under attack. We've seen multiple times how even Celestia and Luna are wary of the dragons, and pissing off the leader of them won't do Equestria any favors.
And then there's Starlight Glimmer. The pony who can swap, steal, or just outright nullify one's Cutie Mark, a power we've seen amply demonstrated on both the Mane Six and the Royal Sisters. Oh, and she just casually rips holes in space and time, mind whammies any and everyone, and can pretty much make you do whatever she wants you to do. And is good friends with Thorax, the King of the Changelings, and his brother Pharynx, the de facto Captain of the Changeling Guard and all around perfect example of Changeling Beast Mode™. If Celestia thought the weakened Changelings under Chrysalis' rule were scary, try a fully powered up and ready to rumble race of them lead by a pair of brothers that have good reasons to fight tooth and claw at the forefront.
Then there's the citizenry of Ponyville itself. These ponies deal with world-ending catastrophes every week, it seems, and they each have their own adventures and stories that lead one to believe that weirdness just follows the lot of them, and they aren't phased by it in the least half the time. By now they, too, would be a bit of a power unto themselves, and Twilight et al would make great use of them.
For the hook from left field Celestia might forget about, Sunset Shimmer and the Humane Six would be be another slam to the Equestrian war effort. Those seven girls are basically superheroes at this point, and having a Justice League/Avengers coming at you on top of everything else listed here is just not what you want or need to have a very good day.
And finally, there's Tempest Shadow/Fizzlepop Berrytwist. If she is recruited under Twilight as part of her redemption story in Season 8 (since the movie happens between S7 and S8), having a warrior of her caliber and power is icing on the cake of whupass Ponyville can serve Celestia. We've seen what Tempest can do. She can do a lot. And all of it hurts.
All in all, Ponyville can easily secede if it really wants to. There's really no reason for it (as far as we know, for now), but it can, and they can back up that claim.
Why would Twilight even want to secede in the first place?
Then they'd have to convince all the ponies who've fought to defend Celestia and seem to really like her that secession is a good idea. It's implausible right off the bat.
And Celestia would never respond this way... nothing about this matches the characters.
People are arguing over a scenario that would never happen.
And besides, Celestia would just call me in. And everyone knows you can't defeat the Deus Ex Self-Insert Troll God. For I have ALL THE POWERS!! (This is how you power game, people!)
Don't listen to Celestia Twi, The Count of Equi Cristo is a brilliant book.
Give me a second to find the right clip for my reaction to Twilight's entrance...
FOUND IT..
8497914
after bender said "let me laugh even harder" i was expecting feel good inc. tbh
8497716
Thank you so much for writing that. I love proving peopel wrong when people say that the mlp universe is weak. What you said was absolutely perfect. However, what you described would be more of Equestria vs Celestia not Ponyville vs Celestia situation. And you might have left a few details about the powers and abilities of every single character. (This is coming from someone who spent 3 months researching and listing All of Pinkie Pie's abilities and powers)
Signing out, VShuffler42