VIII: Torrent
VIII: Torrent
Twilight ran fast, and ran far. The filly that she was chasing for no obvious reason was somewhere around these tunnels, and she didn’t care where her search would take her. All other thoughts seemed to have become shut out from her mind, as if somepony had shoved them in a closet and locked it up thrice. She couldn’t even ask herself why she was feeling this way; she only knew that she had to find that foal.
At last, she had reached an intersection in the tunnels. It was a four-way junction, with a large metal grating covering the center of the connection. The grating appeared to be meant to walk on, which must have allowed for any maintenance workers to change position on the walkways. Considering that the grating hovered precariously over the water, where that invisible beast was sure to be lurking, it seemed not quite as safe as the designers of the Cisterns may have hoped.
But all of this was lost on Twilight. She was still stuck on a peculiar autopilot, chasing after some filly that she thought she knew, and felt like she did, but ultimately did not know. Twilight pondered for several moments on which direction to go, before finally deciding on a leftward turn and running along the water tunnel in that given direction.
It wasn’t long before fortune favored her. The filly that she had been so avidly chasing was once again within sight. The unicorn’s spirits leapt; she had found her at last! The foal’s vividly pink eyes stared at Twilight with abject terror as she approached.
“No! NO! Stay away from me! Get away, get AWAY!!”
Twilight, in her current state, ignored the filly’s cry of fear. She had found her quarry. She had fulfilled the master’s desires. There would be one more for the cages. And maybe, just maybe, another one for the—
Just as she reached out to make a grab, the foal suddenly released a shrill, earsplitting scream. It actually hurt to listen to the sound—it was enough to make Twilight wince with pain—but she pressed on after only a moment’s pause. She reached out with her hoof…
The filly screamed again. And as before, the unicorn flinched, and withdrew her hoof. Twilight wasn’t sure what to make of this. All attempts at comprehension resulted in a rather nasty headache. But, hearing the scream… it seemed to awaken some unknown feeling deep within her, but she couldn’t quite place it…
Perhaps it was… guilt?
As soon as this thought entered her mind, many others took its place. Horrid thoughts. Nightmarish thoughts. Incomprehensible thoughts that would make anypony sick just by thinking about them. Ghastly, terrifying thoughts. And though she hardly batted an eyelid at any of them, that sick feeling in her gut continued to escalate. What was amiss all of a sudden? What felt so wrong about this?
The filly screamed yet again, jarring Twilight from her thoughts once more. She never felt so confused in her life. Her mind was a swirling pool of emotions and memories, each and every one of which was trying to vie for her total attention.
D o n ’ t d o i t !
G e t h e r !
S a v e h e r !
K i l l h e r !
R u n a w a y !
G e t t h a t f o a l !
N o ! D o n ’ t !
O b e y m e !
F i g h t b a c k !
While she struggled internally, the foal had, unbeknownst to Twilight, taken the chance to run off into the darkness again. She was screaming the whole way still. Twilight had little time to dwell on her dilemma, however, as her vision once again flashed white…
…and she finally became aware of herself.
What… happened?
The light died away, and Twilight blinked. She was still in the Cisterns. Still alive, and still active, it seemed. Her leg throbbed with the ghost of its earlier injury, but was otherwise intact. The sound of gentle flowing water and rather pungent odors of the tunnels still lingered in the air. Her surroundings were dark, and she could barely see beyond a range of a few yards. Everything seemed as it should.
And yet, everything was not. Her memory now possessed a significant gap. One moment, she was with the cellist player Octavia, and the next, she ends up in another section of the Cistern… completely alone. What had she been doing? How did she end up here? Why could she suddenly not even recall what had been going on?
Feasible answers to these questions did not come to mind, and Twilight began to worry. She couldn’t have just forgotten something again, could she? Or was… was it something that she didn’t want to remember? Trying to focus on what just happened only succeeded in bringing on a ringing headache, so Twilight decided to let it be for the time being.
Tasting metal in her mouth, the unicorn remembered that she still held the Dragonfire Lantern clumsily by her teeth. It was a wonder that she hadn’t dropped it yet, but Twilight wasn’t one to question her fortune. Without light after all, she would have almost no chance in the dark.
Twilight raised the lantern a little higher, and checked her surroundings once more. Empty, as far as she was concerned. Not a sound was heard, save for the sloshing of the gently-flowing water canals below. Not one pony besides herself was present as well, and—
Wait a minute… where’s Octavia?
Panic quickly set in. The only other pony that she knew was still alive in this place was now missing. Twilight’s heart sank as this realization finally took root in her psyche. Where had she gone? She had been right by her side a moment ago, and now…
“Oct…Octavia?” the unicorn meekly called out, swapping glances between both directions in which the tunnel ran. “Octavia…? Are you out there? Please say something…”
The sound of running water answered her.
Twilight bit down harder on the lantern, and she edged herself closer to the wall. She felt so small, so vulnerable all of a sudden. Where had her feeling of security gone? Perhaps, like Octavia, it had gone as well. To Twilight’s credit, it was rather impressive how far she had come, all by her lonesome. But now, having finally met a pony that was actually on level grounds with her, willing to cooperate, the notion of continuing on alone was unthinkable. Perhaps even suicidal.
But if Twilight were to try and locate the other mare, then where would she even begin to look? Her memory gap must have spanned a fairly significant amount of time, if she had ended up in a completely different section of the Cisterns as before. Who was to say that Octavia wasn’t looking for her, right at this moment?
Grrrroooooooooaaaaaaahhh…
The walls of the tunnel shook, and dust fell from the ceiling as yet another tremble struck the Cisterns. Twilight cried out with distress, and threw herself to the ground while shielding her head from any falling debris. Why were these ‘earthquakes’ becoming more and more common? What was going on in this place? And just where was that resonant growling coming from?
Twilight didn’t even care for these questions to be answered; she only wanted it all to end. Squeezing her eyes shut, the unicorn could only ask one simple question. One that, throughout history, was always the hardest to answer.
Why?
======< O >======
—Throne Room—
Alack Zander stumbled as the entire palace was shook by yet another quake. Out of the window, the stallion glimpsed the upper section of the Archives breaking away from the rest of the structure. He watched grimly as the tower collapsed and tumbled into the valley below, joining the heaps of stonework that lay there in a mangled pile of marble and granite.
“We’ve not much time,” Zander noted solemnly, turning away from the window with a dour expression. “…Servant. I summon you.”
At his prompt, the shadow appeared before him. The twisted, darkened form of pitch-blackness that somehow resembled a pony stood there, awaiting its master’s command with eternal patience. Alack Zander observed the subtle intrigue of the supernatural being for the slightest of moments, and then spoke.
“The situation has changed. Likewise, I am altering our plan. Order the Bound to suspend the disposal of the Remnants,” the silver-maned stallion commanded. “Instead, have them moved to the Mortuary, and lock them up. The Remnants can rot for all I care. Also, have the Bearers of Generosity and Laughter begin to oversee the preparations immediately.”
The shadow silently nodded once with acknowledgment.
Zander briefly looked out the window, deep in thought, and then added, “Should the Remnant of Magic somehow evade Loyalty and escape the Cistern, the gardens would be the next place she would likely end up in. Most of the channels that don't lead straight out of the city and into the valley would go through there. Have the Bearer of Honesty in place to intercept her, in case of such an event.”
Once more, the shadow servant gave its assent. With a flash of dark light, it was gone again.
The blue-coated unicorn smiled forebodingly. He turned to face the back of the room, where a pony-shaped figure was being suspended in the hold of a floating, metallic cage to the right of the golden throne.
“…Though of course, there’s always a third option that one can take.”
Alack Zander slowly approached the magical prison, and spent a moment observing the prisoner within: a green-coated unicorn mare, unconscious and wholly unaware of all the horror that had transpired in this place, or what role her presence would soon play.
“And I know for a fact that it will not fail. She will not fail.” He grazed a hoof along one of the bars, and his eyes narrowed. “After all… your life depends on that fact. She cares too much about you not to succeed.”
The stallion sighed wistfully, and gazed at the giant stained-glass windows of the famed Elements of Harmony, and of the many others dedicated to friendship and peace. Reminders of a bygone era, and of happier times. Reminders of the time before everything he had fell apart.
“Love… It brings out the best… and the worst in us.”
======< O >======
—Cisterns—
Twilight heard a noise. She wasn't sure what it was, but it was loud. And close by. Still reeling from the earlier trembles, the unicorn turned to face the direction of the sound while bringing the lantern forward.
While the tunnel was indeed empty, the distant noise continued to persist. The darkness hindered Twilight’s vision, even with the aid of the Dragonfire lantern, so she strained her eyes to try and see ahead more broadly.
And yet, nothing revealed itself to her.
Taking tentative steps forward, Twilight braved a walk back the way she had come; and to where the noise was audible now.
The mare wondered what she would find. If she was fortunate, perhaps it was simply Octavia, perhaps calling out to her from a great distance. Although, other and more gruesome thoughts slithered into her mind. What if she was in trouble? What it was another monster, making indiscriminate noises to lure her?
Twilight forced herself to swallow, and tightened her mouth's grip on the lantern. The darkness was starting to get to her again, she realized. This place just didn't feel right. It made her feel slightly ill, as if this place was somehow sickening and wearing at her mind. The actual smell of the Cisterns, of course, notwithstanding.
Tense minutes passed as the unicorn trotted down the Cistern tunnel, and she suddenly, and involuntarily, came to a halt. An abrupt chill ran through her body, and her vision blurred as she felt another headache coming on. Is this going to become a regular thing? she mentally groused, clenching her eyes shut and hissing with pain.
Passing almost as swiftly as it arrived, the throbbing in her skull subsided, and Twilight opened her eyes again.
Something seemed… different. Unusual.
Why... why do I feel so... cold? A-and so... numb...
Twilight shook her head in an attempt to jostle a sense of feeling back into herself, but it did little good. A sense of dread began to rise within her, filling up the vacant spaces in her psyche. Something was wrong.
She turned her head, lantern still held shakily, and spared a gaze at the closest wall to her right. The lantern clearly lit up the spot she was looking at. Her eyes widened with shock.
Blood. Still fresh, and smeared across the crumbling stone wall in crude writing:
'SHADOWS DON'T HAVE HEARTS'
It was everywhere, now that she looked. The ceiling, floors, walls; everywhere. As if somepony had managed to paint everything around Twilight without her even noticing. All speaking the same, cryptic message.
The noise was starting to get louder.
Twilight let out a strained squeak as she backed away from the wall; far enough that her rear hooves were now perched precariously over the edge that led directly into the waterway. She stared with wide and fearful eyes at the message written in blood. It was the exact same message that had been scribed on the back of her self-addressed note, which she found many hours ago.
Reaching back into her saddlebags, Twilight pulled out the note in question, and checked the message again. To her shock, the message's bad hoofwriting was nearly identical in style to that of the message on the wall.
It... it can't be...
The noise was getting even louder now.
Questions mercilessly clawed at Twilight's mind, discarding all of her other concerns at moment. How did the message suddenly appear all over the walls? What did it even mean? And who wrote the message? And perhaps, most importantly… why?
The source of the sound was getting closer. With a slow-burning realization, Twilight identified the sound as the last thing she had wanted to hear in a place like this. At first, her mind wanted to file aside the noise as being produced by the thing that lurked in the water, idly splashing to and fro. But she had gotten so used to that sound already, and she knew that it was not that same sound.
No. It was something else entirely.
“Rrrrraaaaaaagh… Grrraaagh…”
Angry, guttural growling. That is what the noise was. No longer was it distorted by distance, corrupted by the acoustics of the tunnel. It was close. Very close. Someone — or something — was distinctly growling. And it wasn’t the monster in the water.
With achingly slow pace, Twilight turned her head to the left just in time to catch sight of an equine-esque figure shambling down the corridor towards her. Her mind instantly thought of Octavia, but then swiftly rescinded that assumption.
After all, Octavia didn’t have wings.
“Who are y…” the unicorn began to say, but then stopped herself with a strained gulp. A blue pegasus (a mare, judging from its physical build) was striding towards her with a swift, coordinated gait. Her mane seemed to proudly display every color of the rainbow, though the colors appeared washed-out and greyed; even her coat seemed dull, lacking the lustre that it may have once possessed. Her wings, as before indicated, were both extended to their full length. And it wasn't by choice, either; around her midsection was a metal band, with six sharpened rods extruding outwards, forming a loose half-circle that the wings appeared pinned to.
The pegasus mare continued approaching Twilight with steady, determined paces. With every other step it took, the tinny sound of metal on concrete rang out. Out of nervousness, the unicorn began to take tentative steps backward. Upon mustering up enough courage, Twilight chanced another attempt at speaking. “H-hello? W-who are you?”
The pegasus did not reply. Instead, she only hastened her pace. Twilight quickened her pace backwards, interpreting the non-response as a bad sign.
That’s when she noticed that one of the pegasus’s forelegs was, in fact, not a leg. No leg was perfectly straight, never bending at some kind of joint. They don't glisten when the shine of a lantern catches it just right. And they most certainly aren't fashioned from metal.
It was no leg. It was an oversized blade.
Twilight's breath hitched in her throat, and she stumbled backwards. Her rear hoof slipped. She craned her neck around backwards to see why it felt as if the floor had dropped out from beneath her. Her answer was given in the form of a decidedly vacant space beneath her, with the looming, black depths of the water channel gazing up at her in cold welcoming.
Twilight yelped with surprise, and in her desperation, thrashed her rear hooves around violently in a vain attempt at finding ground. In her scramble, the lantern had fallen from her mouth's grip and clattered down the steep angle of the Cistern, falling into the water and putting out the fire with a sharp hiss. Only the dim torchlight of the Cisterns now lit the tunnels. She managed to keep her front hooves planted on the walkway, but as she turned back to face forward she found herself staring straight into the face of the monster she had been frightened by.
Those eyes. They weren't black as coal; not like Fluttershy's. Magenta irises, with a distinct shine and liveliness. They were... alive. She could almost see something hiding behind them. They seemed... sad, in a way. Twilight wasn't sure what to make of it. The pegasi's expression of feral hatred was all-too-clear on her face, but the eyes didn't go along with it. They seemed to... resist it, somehow.
"T...Twi...light..."
The voice sounded hollow and strange; like it took a great effort to utter each syllable. And it was familiar. This monstrosity somehow knew her name, which meant only one thing to Twilight: it had to have been one of her friends. Another victim of Alack Zander's cruelty. A name instantly rose to the forefront of her mind, and she felt tears well in her eyes as she whispered,
"Rainbow Dash..."
For a moment, the pegasus seemed to take in the sound of her own name. Her expression never changed, but something in those magenta eyes seemed to acknowledge her voice. For a moment, they seemed... shamed. Mourning. Heartbroken. Lonely.
Lonely...
That was how Twilight felt, as well. Lonely without her friends, or anypony else around for that matter. Octavia was lonely, too; she had lost her friend forever, and would likely never fully recover from that. Rainbow Dash seemed lonely, a part of the monster Twilight now saw seemed to have accepted that things would never be the same. Even Zander might have been extremely lonely for a large portion of his life (though it still would not excuse him from such atrocities that he had committed). When it really came down to it, they were all so lonely.
Now that Twilight was looking, the pegasus once known as Rainbow Dash seemed to be trembling. Her entire body was shaking like a leaf. The blade that now replaced one of her forelegs seemed to spasmodically twitch every few moments, as if trying to make itself move. Her expression became strained, and something dark seemed to flash behind those eyes. Whatever it was, she was trying desperately to keep herself from doing something. And the unicorn wasn't in the mood to find out.
"R...run... Run..."
The words were extremely forced, pleading to Twilight: Run away. Flee. Get away from here. Make yourself scare. Whichever way it could have been described, she wouldn't argue. But having nowhere else to go, she let her hooves relax, and her forelegs — sore from keeping herself up for so long — slipped away from the edge. Time seemed to dilate as she fell backwards into the canal. Seconds became minutes as she hung in the air, still staring directly into those magenta eyes as they were, slowly, consumed by a torrent of darkness.
Splash!
Twilight didn't like water that much. She had come to think of it as a deathtrap, given the latest input her mind had received on the subject recently. It was dark, cold; unforgiving, in a way. But she had to admit, it had its share of benefits. The coldness felt good sometimes, especially now, when she needed to take her mind off things. Washing away the pains of truth could often be easy, and it helped in a way. That didn't necessarily erase the problems, however, and she knew that.
The current was quite stronger than she remembered. Not quite rapids-level, but it was clearly stronger here than it was further back in the Cistern, back when that monster had almost...
...no sense worrying about that now. If it did come to that again, Twilight thought, then... well, it wouldn't matter. None of it would matter much, anymore. For the first time since her nightmare began, she just let everything go. Her hope had, though inappropriate as it is for the situation, dried-up. The constant image of those eyes being finally overtaken by something unspeakably horrible played itself again and again in her mind.
While she was being swept away down the channel by the increasing current, she heard one final thing in the rapidly growing distance: A scream. An unspeakable, indescribable wail of anger, pain, and sorrow. It echoed through the tunnels, amplifying the cry to the point where its volume became deafening. The walls themselves seemed to cry along with it, creating a heartrending and cacophonous melody of despair.
As Twilight's awareness slipped away, brought on by the frigid cold of the water that carried her onwards, she came to the horrible realization that, deep in her heart, she felt absolutely nothing.
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Well, I haven't seen a scary game crossover in ages, let alone one that's made it to feature. The last one I read was called 'Silent Ponyville' and the entire thing was just one big scary clusterfuck. I've played the game Amnesia, and I must say that this caught my eye when I saw it. Anyways, I am going to give you a more formal review, for the sake of being nice. You can expect it quite sometime later as I've got to get stuff finsihsed today. Who knows, you may impress me enough to get me to mention this in a blog post of mine.
Dude, don't sweat it!
Every chapter is a good chapter.
Usually I don't read unfinished stories, but curiosity got better of me this time. I spent all night reading this stuff and it was totally worth it!
So, best of luck to you!
((Sorry for the late replies, but I was without internet access for the previous two weeks, I'm afraid. Stupid backwoods "vacation".
))
2531503 Thank you!
It really means a lot to hear that my writings are being received so well. I'll try to keep on top of my updates from here on out!
2526180 ...Although it has been a couple of weeks, I would still very much appreciate a review, if you're still interested in that. It would certainly be a bit more constructive than the simple "cool story bro" or "nice chapter yo" comment. If not, well, I won't trouble you with it. Still, I'm glad the story caught your eye regardless, and I'll be sure to keep at it.
2619909 No actually, I forgot about it myself.
Sorry, sometimes I lose track.
2619915 Oh, I see... That's okay, I'm rather prone to that kind of thing as well.
2619922 I'm having to re-read it. Forgot what I read.
Irony? 
Perhaps it is just me, but I hate it when the first the chapter copies off the beginning of the game. I mean, it's not a rip-off, but I think my problem is when the cross over isn't set up to be it's own thing. Don't get me wrong, you kind of did that later on, and it gave such a different feel compared to the game. The game was a puzzle with a terrifying story line. I imagined that this would be something that was just plain terrifying. I really wasn't that far off guess.
You used a lot of '...' throughout the story. It's not good to do that, although it does help set up certain parts of it. It isn't the proper use of the pause in many places. Use it in thoughts and dialogue.
I love the psychology and the thoughts of the character. It's absolutely mind boggling that you captured the emotion of fear so well. It's impressive sir. You also captured the setting and the atmosphere of everything being so scary. I am truly impressed by the level of description, and now I see why this made it to feature. It's written so well, and it really pulls in the reader. If i didn't have Top Gear on right now, I might be able to concentrate a little more on this story. I know I want to read more, and I will. Just this review is based off your first chapter so far, and besides a few dislikes of certain cross-over elements (You can't help it, and neither can I), this is really good. i am trying to be as constructive as I can, but hey sometimes people write things right the first time, and there isn't a lot you can help with. As a review writer I hate not having hings to complain about
. Oh well, if you want an even fuller review later on, I can do that, as for now I hope this will suffice. Gets me inspired to rewrite my own cross-over, something I needed to do anyways. Anyways, if you need my help for anything, just send me a message. I'm a pretty friendly guy, at least I fucking think so, ya pony loving freak of a guy who sits and writes good stories. Ic an't say much, I do the same thing...
Final Verdict: Scary, good, and I need a darker room to play Amnesia. I'm not scared enough.
2620034 Ah, yes... I'm slightly... obsessed... with those ellipses... sometimes... I might have to... lay off on those... and stuff. But seriously now, thanks a ton for the review. I'm actually rather surprised; this is my first ever bit of writing that involves horror and mystery as a main theme, and yet people (you included) tell me that I seem to pull off this stuff expertly. Well, I suppose it's been a while since my last ego stroke, so... AHEM, moving on.
The issues with the crossover base notwithstanding (I'm fully aware of such problems, but I guess I'll have to live with 'em), I know that the story isn't perfect; in fact, while I re-read through it the other day (I have a habit of rereading the previous chaps I've written, mostly to make sure the story stays consistent as I'm writing it) I caught quite a few errors that I somehow missed over. You'll probably know them when you see them. Since at the moment I'm unable to devote much time for reediting, I'll have to put QA edits on the backburner for now...
Again, thanks for taking the time to review what I have, and I appreciate all your honest words. You said... first chapter, right? The story is still incomplete at 8 chapters, but I'm roughly at the halfway point in writing by now. Maybe 15 or 14 chaps in total is what I initially planned, anyway. A "fuller" review might be nice to have, but I won't trouble you with it right now; at the moment, I think this gives me a pretty good idea of my progress. Once again, I thank you, good sir.
(PS: I'll keep that offer of assistance thing in mind.
)
2624298 Yeah no story is perfect It would be impressive to see, but most of the time there are always things that would make it better. As for doing the entire review, maybe later when I allow myself some good reading time. As for now, I might go and rewrite my small 'scary' crossover featuring Twilight and Companion Cube (sorry, shameless self promotion... sort of). I feel like I could have maybe added some more after reading your chapter two, but instead I found inspiration.
*Pokes story*
It's dead, Jim.
4186143 Its certainly looking so
Will you ever wright this again?
2624298 Is this story still alive?
6898814
There is a slim chance that Glimglam might return to writing, after a long hiatus. This sort of thing has happened, in the past.
Unfortunately, we can't count on it.