Twilight messes up yet another spell. Now Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash have switched bodies and there's a new Empire in town to handle. Just another day in the Elements of Harmony.
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This chapter feels a lot shorter than 12k words..
I have no idea why. Maybe it's just that good that it flew past. In any case, it certainly carries a different set of feels to it. The last chapter left me expectant that something would happen on the train. But it appears that the rest of the ride home was rather quiet.
Our loverly kitteh is working for the Storm King huh?
Wonder if there is going to be any traitor time coming up or if he's going to continue to be as he is. I didn't see the last scene coming, but then again, I had no idea the pony forces controlled land so far as out into the far desserts. That and Kludgetown isn't exactly a welcoming spot. Them ponies who tried to keep it under their control are well stuffed. Wonder how Celestia is going to hear of this. I'm assuming that there is likely to be no survivors despite the ponies attempts at running for it.
Big Mac and Braeburn huh? Didn't see that coming either. While I am more of a Cheerliee / BM shipper I wonder how he suddenly got a coltfriend. Was it something Ive missed or that hes been hiding for a while. Between AJ's pregnancy and Big Mac's boyfriend, I can see Granny Smith losing it. Like, a lot.
Pinkie Pie. You poor, poor thing. This is not a good time to be alone. Good to see shes returning to Twilight. I expect that their next conversation will be one of the deeper ones as mrs pie is getting very messed up and our neurotic alicorn is in need of help.
I really like how your filling Pinkie in though, the background from her family certainly is helping bring context to her rather exceptional abilities and her Pie sense. Also nice that she wasn't one of a kind and actually had some teaching growing up in using her Pinkie Sense.
In such a build-up, I cant help but wonder what part Spoiled Rich, Diamond Tira, Silver Spoon and the CMC are about to play. None of them seem terribly war like. So does that mean they are going to be civilians caught in the way or something? Or is there some kind of impact they are set to have that will complicate matters?
Okay, I get that Spoiled Rich and her husband are both bad ponies who should never have been allowed to have a filly or have a high standing role in society, but DT's mother really is utterly horrible in this and makes her daughter's actions toward Scootaloo and her friends feel mild in comparison (at least, they are right now). I await more of this to figure out why they are in the story and what they will bring to the table. Because at the moment they feel like they are almost in their own little story of woe and misery. Setting up for after part three?
I also wonder what's up with Rarity's parents. She seems to be doing rather well considering the times. Her connection to Twilight's mother is of interest, but again, I wonder what her scene has to do in the grander scheme of things.
Scootaloo being stopped by a concerned friend was a surprise. (The filly with the) Silver Spoon (up her arse) (sorry, but thats what her name makes me think of...) coming to Scootaloo must be really humbling for her. Especially if she still really dislikes the CMC. Although to be this concerned about Diamond shows that at least she cares about somepony enough to be a good friend. Do I sense a breakout (of DT) coming on?
Because the whole setup is feeling like DT's mother is about to do something really evil if help doesnt arrive soon.
Flutterdash snuggles. So odd to picture and voice them in my mind when they are body swapped like this. It's still cute, but trying to have Fluttershy speak like Fluttershy in Dash's voice really messes with my head. I enjoyed their cute yet troubled moments. They are feeling a lot more like a couple than they were. Its nice that they are talking and Fluttershy is able to share her traumatic experience rather than let Dash just brush it off. I had hoped for some cute, happier shipping. However, considering the darkness that hangs over them from such a brutal time, it felt sutable the way things rolled out. But, I still felt like Fluttershy and Dash's scene was a bit short.
I hope their date will bring about some light in the emotional darkness they are in. I can see some hijinx from the body swap being mixed in with the emotonal scars they are trying to deal with.
All in all, a sutable update to an increasingly crazy and brooding story.
959385
I wasn't expecting a dissertation on the chapter
Also just in case, it's Caramel, not Braeburn that is with Big Mac- though Caramel has like zero character in the show and Braeburn's far more memorable. Unless I start adding in Appleloosa anytime soon, I don't see him in my plan for the future. Though that may change at any point. I have no idea why I use tons of small characters, but I like them, I was going to do more for Fluttershy and Dash, but realized that going by how I split the chapter, I was planning for it to be longer but realized that with how I set up Part 3 with it being the nighttime of the same day of Parts 1 and 2- the really important scenes all really hit there. Pinkie and Twilight have scenes. Applejack and Rarity have a talk. And Fluttershy and Dash. I wanted to do more with those two, but most of the ideas I had with them were later at night. Due to how important the finale of the chapter is and my schedule, that might take a while.
And well I wanted to add Capper in for a while and, with rereading the story, I already know why he's working for the Storm King- its not really willingly. Blame the multiple invasions the Storm King has been doing for a while. Abyssinia is a conquered territory. He has a few reasons why he's there.
The ending went really quick for me- I keep wanting to add in losses for the Equestrian military- they've been used to being the big power and as I keep mentioning, Celestia had done some rather bad things to keep power balanced in her favor- destroying the gryphons after they invaded Equestria, destroying the Reptilian army and their leader's line nearly entirely to stop them from gathering, etc. She was unable or unwilling to use the Elements after Luna's banishment so she went overboard. And at least for Silver Spoon, her family life is going to be affected since I made Sugarcoat (one of the Crystal Prep EQG characters) her sister and Sugarcoat just got acid in her face. And her family's weaponsmiths.
Spoiled Rich is some of the aftermath of Canterlot- she went there for her job and Starlight's spell gave her a vision of life of being free from any kind of responsibility. And well, she's going to be actually more important in the Ponyville section. She acts fine outside of her home. She's still terrible, but she's going to be a force of not great cause she's pretty racist even for Ponyville standards and guess what's been coming into happy small town world? Diamond Dogs and, soon some other things. Her view of the world is ponycentric. Completely ponycentric and she's both rich and influential enough to be listened to. And sadly, I made Diamond Tiara's home life not great because cycles of abuse and bullying tend to happen. And Diamond Tiara is just dealing with how Canterlot broke her mother. It made her mom see a world where she didn't exist- she was happy- and then she went back to her normal life.
And with how I've set up the story, the stuff all really starts popping off during Nightmare Night. Any stragglers from the destroyed army should reach Ponyville around then, Diamond Tiara needs to escape soon, Moondancer's coming to Ponyville, and anything that has felt the destruction of Irondeer should be ready to ask Luna why that happened. Oh and the gryphon-changeling alliance should be hitting anytime soon. Knowing how I set up how Irondeer and Klugetown get hit, Manehattan's next. That mess will hit soon, though a little later due to those two armies having to cross an ocean and prepare. So with how I've set up the story in my head a lot of stuff will force characters that shouldn't be in the war effort into the war effort. Haven't even started training new recruits yet. It's that early in the story to me. It's how wars work- civilians get hurt, everyone's on deck, things just kind of happen. It's depressing and sad. Don't know how those chapters will be but like how I tend to write, it's going to be a downer. And also looking ahead and realizing that I don't like writing 16k chapters (or in the case of the coming chapters, however long it takes) to get a plot point started into something. It's going to be a real mess.
I just see that chapter and I start splitting it in my head. Everything has its place, everything is messy, everything just breaks down. That's the end of what I could term the beginning. Middle is undetermined in length but that might be winter. Long, hard winter. And at some point, I have to start hitting plot points to the movie itself. That might be Act Two. Nightmare Night has been the foreseen end of the first part for a while.
So when that chapter starts hitting, it's going to be a messy, messy time. Which is why I begrudgingly started splitting up my chapters cause I looked at what I had snowballed Nightmare Night into being for the last eighteen to twenty chapters in my head and oh boy was I in shock when I laid out all the stuff that pops off right then and there. I have no idea how many parts that chapter will be. That one changes the map entirely. Act Two of the story is probably going to be long because of that. Also going by most of the rules of war for at least WW1- the war will take a hiatus during winter. Hit fast and hard, gain a foothold, and hunker down. The fights will shift southward as weather starts to change.
At least when I look at what chapter 19 will be whenever I write it, it should be short in comparison, few parts, bit of a sad calm before the storm.