• Published 13th Oct 2017
  • 683 Views, 4 Comments

Pinkie Pie's Perilously Problematic Pornography Predicament - LegendaryHumanLeatherHat



Pinkie Pie develops an unhealthy addiction and goes to Twilight for support.

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A Friend in Need

Every time Pinkie enters the library, she always puts on the same stupidly excited expression. It's like Hearth's Warming Morning day after day. A theoretically infinite amount of anything that she could look at, for as long as she wanted. Usually this is something that Twilight would find a lot more exciting as she is the one who likes to read books all the time, but over the past two weeks, Pinkie has started to really appreciate just how beautiful the world of literature actually is, especially when said literature can be absolutely anything with no exception, but aside from literature, there is something else that has grabbed Pinkie's attention, photography. Photos of her friends and other ponies she knew, doing silly and random things that she knew would never actually happen in reality. The more she looked at these pictures, the more creative she got with what she selected, she started doing things like making bizarre stop motion animations and writing silly scripts to go with them.

"Hmm..." groaned Pinkie as she pressed her lips together with a pencil in her mouth. She was looking at a hypothetical photo of Twilight wearing Hearth's Warming stalkings on her hind legs while she was dancing on the table. She dropped the pencil, bore a big smile and giggled. "Oh, Twilight. you so random!" She stared at the picture for a long time, snickering over how funny Twilight looks. Her eyes scanned the picture about a hundred times before she realized something. "Huh..." she thought. "When Twilight wears those socks, she actually looks... kinda... hot." She mentally slapped herself and smacked her hoofs on her forehead. "What are you thinking Pinkie?! This is Twilight, one of your best friends! You can't think of her that way!"

She opened her eyes, looked back at the picture and began to ease up a bit. "Well, I mean... I'm allowed to fantasize, right?" She conjured up a few more pictures, these ones of Twilight wearing very erotic clothing. Her face started to turn red as she bit her lip and started sweating. She stared at them for a few minutes. "No! If Twilight knew I looking at these kinds of pictures, she would hate me! She'd think I'm a creep!" She slapped her cheeks with her hooves. "Bad Pinkie! Bad!" She looked back down at the pictures. "Well, what she doesn't know won't hurt her right?"


6 Weeks Later


Twilight had spent the whole day organizing her library, her actual library in the castle. Discord was sitting in the corner fidgeting with a pair of welding goggles. He put his finger to his chin and said, "I wonder if I could enchant these to forcefully lock themselves to a pony's head and show them their worst nightmares for the rest of their lives."

Twilight looked up from the bottom shelf and asked, "Did you say something?" Discord glanced over with a bemused expression. He rolled his eyes.

"Why are you even bothering to organize this place if you already have an infinite library where you can receive anything within seconds at the cost of nothing?" Twilight rolled her eyes in return.

"'Theoretically' Infinite..." She corrected "...And besides, real books have a lot more value than magically crafted pieces of information that may or may not be scientifically accurate. Some of these books date back hundreds of years and are worth a fortune. You can't replace them."

Discord sighed and muttered, "Whatever..." Suddenly his eyes flashed open and a light bulb appeared over his head which he quickly shoved in his mouth and swallowed whole. "I've got an idea! I'll be back in a few hours!" he stated as he disappeared from sight.

If he said this a year ago, Twilight would probably have been very concerned, but she came to realize that his pranks were usually harmless nowadays and she had more important things to worry about than silly jokes on ponies she probably doesn't even know. "Now then... where did I put that..."

She was interrupted when the door opened revealing Pinkie Pie standing in the hallway. Her mane was frizzy and she had bags under her eyes. "Oh... Hey Pinkie! Um... Are you feeling alright? We haven't really seen you very much these past few weeks..."

Pinkie looked Twilight in the eyes and said "Um... Actually Twilight, no, I'm not okay..." she said sadly. Twilight's eyebrows raised.

"You wanna talk about it?" she asked, concern evident in her voice.

"That's why I came here... to talk to someone about it."

Twilight put an arm around her shoulder. "Pinkie, I'm glad that you decided to talk to somebody rather than keep your feelings bottled up. Tell me, what's bothering you."

Pinkie looked down at the floor ashamed. "Can we... Can we sit down for this?"

Twilight smiles. "Of course, Pinkie." Pinkie takes a seat at the comfy sofa while Twilight sits next to her on the armrest.

Half a minute passes without either of them saying anything. Finally, Pinkie lets out a big heavy sigh. "Twilight, there is a reason why I rarely saw you guys in the last month." She said flatly.

"I'm listening." Twilight responds. Pinkie squirms in her seat. She stayed silent for a solid minute before Twilight lifted her chin so that she could look her in the eyes. "Pinkie, please talk to me." Twilight said sympathetically.

Tears started to well up in Pinkie's eyes. "Twilight, I've got a serious problem."

Twilight started to become impatient, but she didn't want to show her anger. Whatever Pinkie's issue is, getting mad will only make it worse."What is your problem, Pinkie?"

Pinkie releases another sigh. "I've developed a serious addiction, and it's ruining my life."

Twilight lets out a sharp gasp. "Pinkie!" Twilight was absolutely shocked. She could have never imagined pinkie being the type of pony to do drugs. She's constantly happy in almost every situation, and would never need to resort to something like that. Twilight wraps her arms around Pinkie and gives her the tightest hug she's ever given. "Listen to me Pinkie! The rest of our friends and I are gonna help you through this! We won't turn our backs on you, I promise!"

Pinkie was confused. "Why is Twilight acting like this?" she thought. "Whatever, if she'll help me get over my addiction to looking at fake photos of my friends banging each other, then I'll accept it."

Author's Note:

I'm not exactly sure what would render a fiction to be deems "mature" by most people, so I'm going to tag this as teen, unless people think I should change the rating.

Also I think I fixed the formatting issue.