I'm a go playing brony who reads and writes fan fiction works. That's about all you need to know.
After much soul searching, Rainbow Dash has realized that she loved Applejack all along. All those years of games and playful banter have added up to a perfect revelation of love! In a flash, she shot across the sky toward AJ's farm and her bright future with the mare of her dreams.
But Applejack is less than enthused about this turn of events. In fact, she's downright furious.
Page generated in 0.13 seconds
Total duration
1,019 users online
1,844,487 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I think the mark of a good shipping story is its ability to make me invest in the pairing, and you’ve done that. I was a little skeptical when AJ was rejecting her at first, but once she got to the actual reasons for it it made more sense. (Though I can’t help but wonder if there are going to be consequences for AJ’s (racial?) insult later despite their best efforts...)
But I think what I like best here is RD accepting AJ’s critiques and soldiering on anyway. AJ is being hyper-realistic here (to keep her heart safe), and it was up to RD to push past her naive idealism (“of course it’ll work” “it won’t take that long”) and meet here there (“okay, I’ll help build a fence”). That was exactly what it took to win AJ–and me–over.
It isn't often I find an AppleDash fic I like, this is one of them.
8719325
You seem to have understood what I was going for with this story quite well. I hadn't really thought of AJ's feelings in terms of her wanting to "keep her heart safe," but now that you mention it, that is exactly what she was trying to do. I'm glad that the tension in the story was able to gain your investment, and that you felt the ending was satisfying, as those two elements were the hardest for me to write.
Perhaps the insult was a bit much; my goal was to demonstrate the extreme level of AJ's frustration, and how much she wanted Dash to leave, via show-don't-tell, but it might have gone too far. I was going for a "meet her there" ending, which you caught, but it was hard to have it not feel like AJ caving in too suddenly.
So I worry I went on too long with tension building and too abrupt on the ending, but that's what I get for trying to write realistic reactions to fit a pre-planned narrative.
Thank you for the critique!
8719753
Well, I wanted to do something unconventional with this one. I'm glad the story worked for you. That means a lot coming from one of the more popular authors on the site. (Also, congratulations on hitting 600 followers)
8719951 I don't know if I would say I'm popular. But thank you all the same.
After reading the synopsis, I expected something much different, and much more common… Glad I was wrong!
This was both original and realistic – especially AJ’s behavior and arguments were on point (and… frankly, they hit pretty close to home
).
Nicely done
I was scared to read this story but I'm glad I changed my mind. A hopeful story that made me feel optimistically gooey.
The description broke my heart.
This story was so awesome!
And Ah ne'er lie
Which is why Ah just wanted y'all to go home.
I wouldn't use y'all when AJ's talking to one person, considering it means "You All"
9724693
You are correct that "y'all" is a plural pronoun, however Applejack uses "y'all" in the singular on the show, so I am emulating that.
As you mentioned in the first chapter - this story isn't exactly the 'ordinary fair', which by no means is meant as an insult. It's an interesting take on relationship-starts and -issues.
Just one nitpick: While I do LOVE AJs slang, I still think it was a little to much in this story. Made it harder to read in places.
Thank you.
Nice story.