• Member Since 28th Oct, 2014
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

MorpheustheDream


This is not the end, this is not the beginning.


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(Alternate Universe. Here, Sunset is actually a human, and Equestria doesn't exist.)
Canterlot High and it's residents are going through a real hard time after the truth of Anon-A-Miss comes out. Now they're regretting their actions, all of them are.

In memory of Chester Bennington, vocalist for Linkin Park. He passed away 3 months ago, and he's still missed. After all; "Who cares if one more light goes out? Well I do."

[Popular Stories List : 10/13/17 Friday the 13th? Not sure if this is bad luck or not. :T)

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 27 )

Nice Story! RIP Chester!

8483767
Thank you, and I'm glad to see that you miss him too.

I have no words to describe my emotions. Well written.

8483806
Thank you for the kind words.

8483812
You are most welcome!

Very well written story.

This was great! well written. well-said.. i feel sad... thanks 4 writing this

Extremely well written. You hit me right in the feels, and hard enough to let some out.

Okay, I have to say this. And please take it as constructive criticism. But this isn't a story. It's more like an outline of a story.

One of the most important aspects of writing is 'Show' versus 'Tell.' And there's no 'Show' here. There's no dialogue. No interactions. No descriptions. No showing of anything. It's all 'Tell.' "X is doing Y and feeling Z." Each character gets their own (single) paragraph 'telling' us just how bad they feel and what they're doing about it. It's like you're hitting each item on a bullet pointed list.

There's no real descriptions of how the student body reacts. No description of emotional responses. No descriptions of how her friends lean on each other in response to the tradgedy (or fall away from each other?) Hell, there are no real descriptions of the funeral, potentially the most emotional part of the story, aside from "People said nice things about her."

I understand that this is supposed to be "In Memory" of someone, thus giving it a 'deeper' meaning. But I neither know, nor care about the individual in question. And standing on its own, without that connection, this feels far more like an empty framework of a real story, waiting to be filled in and fleshed out.

Comment posted by MorpheustheDream deleted October 15th

Damn...that’s just beautiul. I should show this to my girlfriend she loves Linkin Park and was hit pretty hard when Chester died.

Comment posted by MasterBlaster deleted October 15th

This needs a sequel.

8489533
Who knows? That may happen one day. :raritywink:

Was done when her being a lesbian was mentioned, I have nothing wrong with it but I'm tired of lesbian pairings around here.

I feel like the CMC should had been more harshly punished here. They tricked most of Sunset’s loved ones into turning against her, and it ended up driving her to kill herself. And all for what? Some time with their sisters.

A life snuffed out due to really petty reasons.

I don't know laws to well but shouldn't the cmc be charged for being accessory to murder or something?? I feel they should be charged for something but I don't know what...

8537707
They would more than likely be charged with Assisted Suicide, if I what I remember is correct.
If I ever do make a sequel to this, I assure you that things will happen, and I'll try to make it better than this.

8503873
Rather difficult to avoid when 95% of the characters are female

8554234
Quite easy to do actually.

i should point out the crusaders would be doing jail time, this is at least first degree involuntary manslaughter.

8587885
While i dont know the law around manslaughter down to a tie i think would be more around 3rd degree murder they wanted to hurt sunset but not nearly that badly

8591515
thats actually why it qualifies as manslaughter and not murder, manslaughter as a charge covers thing where the actions of one party directly lead to another parties death, involuntary is where death wasn't the intention though hurting the person was. this actually has president in the legal system where people have cyber bullied someone to the point they take there own life.

8592001
Know i may be wrong but I remember when i reserched it it had involintary manslaughter be more like some one was not following safety rules like some kne speeding or drunk driving they had no intention to hurt some one but did so. Voluntary manslaughter or as the info i found called it third degree murder was when your intent was harm but not lethal harm

8592005
depends on which degree we're talking, but murder must in all cases have the intent to be lethal, this was not the case here.

I have to say was dispapointed in the CMC getting detention for a entir year. that seems.....soft.
they should been expeled, if they had to move to another town to go to school well too bad, they brought it on themsevles.

They could gotten suspenion for a week or more maybe a month long supsenion and part of their punishment they not allow to socalize with each other ever again.

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