The City Upon a Hill

by GaPJaxie

Chapter 2

“I don’t understand, Rainbow.” Rainbow’s mother stared out the window of the air car, watching the terrain roll past. Her hooves were folded tight under her body, like a sitting cat, and her mouth was pulled down into a frown. Silence hung between them for a time.

“I just don’t understand,” she repeated.

Rainbow said nothing. She was seated across the car, staring out another part of the wrap-around window. The world beyond the glass had only two colors: blue and green. There were no structures between the vast cities, or at least, none that could be inhabited by ponies. There was only the Garden. There were trees the size of buildings, grassy fields that extended for hundreds of miles, and flower buds larger than ponies. Smoke stacks emerged from the ground at regular intervals, their surfaces entirely covered in greedy vines. The Garden lived off the fumes of the Industrial Machine. Celestia bore it upon her back, and with her breath, gave it life.

Then there was the sky. It was all blue. Not a cloud in sight.

“Rainbow…” Her mother sighed. “Are you even listening?”

“Not really. No.” The air car was going over seven hundred miles an hour. Even if she could force the door open, leaping out of it would break every bone in her body.

Her mother let out a sigh, dragging her hoof over her face. Her horn glowed, and she rubbed at her eyes. “You were doing so well. So well. You were doing well in school, and you were getting along with the other foals, and I think the new medication was really working. And then you go and…” She make a helpless gesture with a hoof. “And then you go and do something like this, and I really don’t understand why.”

“Because I’m emotionally disturbed, remember?” Rainbow shrugged. Her eyes stayed out the window. “I’m a crazy pony.”

“No, Rainbow. That is not true,” her mother said, her tone firm. She turned to look at Rainbow head on. “I know sometimes you get upset, and I know sometimes you can be impulsive, but you’re not violent. You’re a good pony.”

“The evidence suggests otherwise.”

“Rainbow, look at me,” her mother ordered. Rainbow turned away from the window. When she met her mother’s gaze, she shrunk back. Her tail tucked in under her, and her shoulders scrunched tight together. She made herself look small. “Why did you attack that filly?”

“She was hitting on me,” Rainbow’s voice wavered. “It’s gross. Mares are gross.”

“No, they aren’t!” She gestured with a hoof, leaning towards Rainbow. “Dear, we’ve talked about this. You’re bisexual. You are attracted to both stallions and mares. And that’s fine. There’s nothing wrong with that. I don’t know where you got this idea it was somehow offensive or shameful.”

“I’m not into mares.”

“You realize we all saw the video of you attacking that poor filly? Me, your teachers, the principal, the police?” Her mother’s tone turned sharp, and she let out a breath through her teeth. “The video in which you are quite clearly checking out her rear when she says hello to you? Gaze analysis doesn’t lie. And neither does the Spitfire poster you have in your room.”

“I didn’t want to be noticed, okay!?”

“You spent nearly half an hour this morning trying on different tail scrunchies to see which one made you look the prettiest.” Her mother threw up a hoof. “Then you spent another twenty minutes getting the perfect cute selfie to post where the whole class could see it!”

Rainbow looked down at her hooves. She said nothing. So her mother sighed, and softened her tone, and leaned all the way across the air car to give her daughter a hug. “I’m sorry. I know you’re really upset right now, even if I don’t understand why. I don’t want to yell at you.”

She held the hug for a time, and even gave Rainbow an extra reassuring squeeze. But then she leaned back and looked Rainbow in the eye. “But this time it was because a filly smiled at you, and last time it was because somepony called you stupid, and the time before that it was because you didn’t like the way your manecut looked. Those are excuses. Can you tell me what’s really wrong?”

Rainbow started to turn to the window. “Don’t you look away,” her mother warned. Her head snapped back. Their eyes met across the middle once again.

“I…” Rainbow swallowed. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Okay.” Her mother nodded. “Why don’t you want to talk about it?”

“I just… I don’t! Okay?” Her wings parted half an inch from her side. “I don’t want to talk about it!”

“It’s okay,” her mother cooed. “I understand. You’re upset. That’s okay. I just want to understand. Just tell me what it is you don’t want to talk about.”

“I said I don’t want to talk about it!” Rainbow bellowed, her voice cracking as it rose to a shout. “Leave me alone! Can we just be quiet until we get home!?”

“Sure, sure.” Her mother’s voice was soft and gentle. “But can you tell me why you want us to be quiet?”

“Because I said I don’t want to talk!” Rainbow’s voice rose in volume and pitch until she was screaming, the sound echoing around the tiny space. “Because I said I don’t want to talk! Shut up! Do you understand!? Shut up! Shut the fuck up! Just shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up! No talky. Do you fucking understand, you stupid bitch?”

Her mother sat in silence as Rainbow bellowed. Her face stayed impassive for the entire rant, and she waited until Rainbow had screamed herself out. She watched Rainbow draw deep pants after her tirade. Finally, she asked: “Does calling your mother a ‘stupid bitch’ make you feel better, Rainbow?”

Rainbow’s breath caught in her throat. “No!” she snapped. “I don’t…” Her voice cracked again, wavering up and down as she spoke. “I just don’t want to talk about it.”

“I know you’re hurting right now.” Her mother’s voice was soothing and calm. “And I know sometimes when ponies are hurting, they take it out on the ponies around them, and I’m an easy target because you know I’ll always love you no matter what. But I want you to think about this. I want you to think about this. When you take out your pain on the ponies who care about you, do you feel better or worse?”

Rainbow didn’t answer, and so her mother repeated: “Better or worse?”

“Worse.” Rainbow sniffled. “I feel worse, okay?”

“That’s right.” Her mother took a deep breath, and then let it out. “Rainbow, you love me, don’t you?”

“Y-yes.” Rainbow lifted her ears quickly. Her eyes searched her mother’s face. “Yes. Of course I love you, mom.”

“You want me to be happy?” Rainbow’s mother asked. Rainbow nodded. “Well you know what would make me more happy than anything? Seeing you get better. But I can’t do it for you. I can’t make you better. I can give you advice, and I can encourage you, and I can make sure you have whatever support you need, but you have to make you better. And the first part of that is you have to want to get better. Do you want to get better, Rainbow?”

After a moment, Rainbow nodded. Her eyes stayed on the aircar’s floor. “Rainbow,” her mother warned. Her head snapped back up. “Say it, please?”

It took her a moment. She had to swallow the lump that had suddenly appeared in her throat. “I want to get better. I don’t…” She drew a shaky breath. “I don’t like picking fights and getting in trouble all the time.”

“I know. I know you don’t like it. You’re a good pony, Rainbow Dash, and I love you.” Her mother’s horn glowed, and with her magic, she adjusted her daughter’s bangs. She brushed back Rainbow’s tail. “Now can you please tell me what’s really wrong?”

“I don’t…” Rainbow swallowed again. “I just get really upset sometimes. I’m just sitting there and suddenly my chest gets all tight, and I’m all anxious and I don’t like being around ponies. It just happens. I don’t know why.”

“Okay.” Her mother nodded. “Do you want that to stop happening?”

“Yes. Of course I do!” Rainbow’s tone was pleading.

“Good. But it’s not going to stop on its own. That means you need a plan. You need a plan to get better. Now, what did the therapist tell you? MEND. You need to mend yourself. Do you remember what that stands for?”

“Medication, exercise, nutrition, and doing stuff with friends,” Rainbow repeated the mantra. “I know.”

“Good. This needs to be your plan, Rainbow. You need to want to make you better. So here’s what I want you to do, okay? I’m not going to punish you for what happened. But I want you to write up a plan about how many hours you’re going to spend in the gym each day, and how you’re going to keep taking your medication, and how you’re going to measure that it’s all working. And then I want you to write up how you’re going to spend more time with ponies your age, and maybe even ask a mare or a stallion out.”

“Okay. I can do that.” Rainbow swallowed. “Thank you for not being angry. I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want you to be sorry, Rainbow. I want you to get better. So after you have your plan tonight, I want you to read it to me, and then we’ll agree on it, and you can start tomorrow. Then we can talk about finding you a nice new school.”

“I… I like this school.” Rainbow cleared her throat. “I was just getting to know everypony.”

“Rainbow, do you really want to stay at a school where all the other students just saw you assault somepony because she said hello? I don’t think being shunned or teased will help you.”

“Um…” Rainbow’s ears folded back. “Yeah. I guess you’re right. Sorry. I didn’t think about that.”

“It’s okay. Now, is there anything else you want to talk about? Anything else that’s bothering you?”

Rainbow looked down at the commlink on her ankle. It was blue, and it matched her coat. She prodded it with a hoof. She didn’t have any new messages. She would soon, though.

“No,” she said. “Everything else is fine.”

Comments

[Viper5012]

sound like the comm-link is the problem to me.

[Mandelbrony]

Is her mom a bot, too?

[GaPJaxie]

8531571

Nope! Good guess though.

[TheJediMasterEd]

I recognize this place:

God bless! God bless!
God bless us every one!
God bless mommo, God bless daddo
God bless you and me!
God bless us all, the short and tall,
Give us fer-til-i-ty!

[ferret]

Aaaaand worst parent of the year award goes to...!

[GaPJaxie]

9471307

RD's mother in this story is heavily based on a few real parents I know, including my own mother!

[BirdsBooksBrownies]

On one hoof, RD's mom surface level seems to mean well...but on the other there's a certain...I dunno... je ne sais quoi that makes it icky. Like a fruit that looks okay but when you cut it open the center is rotten.

Her repetitiveness seems unduly nosy and I can definitely see where she's being compared to some of the Android companion bots from Familiar.