• Member Since 3rd Dec, 2014
  • offline last seen May 9th, 2021

Harmony Split


Love has no desire but to fulfill itself. To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night. To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving

Comments ( 72 )

Can't wait to see where this is going!

Keeping an eye on this! Seriously, the community has slowed down quite a bit over the years, hasn't it? Used to be when a new episode dropped, the place would be FLOODED with artwork, stories, music, and everything in between that it inspired. Things have been remarkably quiet on the movie front. Don't think I've seen a single story yet focused on a character besides Tempest, and even she's only got a dozen or so shorts I've spotted thus for. Looking forward to seeing where this goes. (;

Warning! Contains spoilers from the movie, heavy clop and BDSM!
Will also contain my view how Tempest could live in Equestria. Sex is not frequent, but will occasionally happen.

I'm going to read it if it really isn't overdone, it was under clopfic, but I actually want more story in it. So yes if it is what you just said not frequent but it is there, then it should be good enough.

However I will see where it goes, I can handle everything if it is "supposed" to be a clopfic, but as soon as there is a major story plot going on, I get more serious about what themes are used in such a story.

I kind of know where this is supposed to go, but I hope that they both learn to...well get along with each other, but she can keep her dominant behavior and make Twilight listen, that would be something else.

“I think I can understand that… dealing with heat while being alone can be quite bothersome.”

I like that, it seems they can talk about it and kind of keep attention to the whole thing without going nuts and selling themself to every Stallion aviable.

“Not to mention, the apes on this ship are only good for fighting and sticking their stuff into every hole they find,” Tempest snorted before turning, going over to her bed. “I trust that you won’t use your magic and are careful, now come over here.”

Not sure what that meant, but I hope while I find her personality in this story interessting, that she hasn't exactly tried out several of the apes.

While the act alonge can be rather normal, I myself doesn't like to act like that and of course I often hope the characters doesn just take anybody. However a former sentence, makes me belive she did nothing of that sort.

Tempest allowed herself a small grin, knowing full well this was a first for the young alicorn. “I’m surprised you didn’t learn any of this already, with the Princess of Love and the Princess of Night by your side.”

well yeah I don't like to image them like that, but I like it as a joke or any form of insult.

Well I mentioned that I know what I want and what I don't like, maybe I'm a bit picky, but I like how you write and this chapter was okay so far, pretty good actually since I kind of wanted to read her with that personality, I mean where she keeps it and doesn't just turns 100% friendly right away or something.

“I have to study it!”

I have to confess to snickering at 4:30 AM when I read that line. Apologies to my dogs, whose sleep was disturbed. :twilightsmile:

Never change, Twilight.

At first I was sceptical with it being before the end of the movie, but if you continue this beyond where the movie ended... then yeah... I’d like to see where that goes... even if it doesn’t, I’ll still read this.

Really hoping you continue this fic

One single word.

MORE.

I love this fic. Seems very interesting. I would really like to see how it works out. Keep up the good work.

This is great so far! Excellent writing and developing plot, I'd like to see a more submissive twi later on!

8508154
8509298
Don't worry!
Chapter 3 is already in editing :rainbowkiss:

The story started off well enough, but this chapter just felt messy. Dialogue was off, plenty of literary errors, and little to no pacing.

8511781
My editors will give it another sweep.
But it's amazing what people can say about a chapter, exactly 4,6 minutes after it was published

8511789
It's 2,700 words. It barely took 5 minutes to read that.

Honestly not sure what to make of this chapter. The story started out strong as a Dom / Sub fic with Tempest the Mistress - wasn't keen on the way it was forced upon Twilight, but it wasn't too bad - certainly not enough to stop reading.

While I agree skipping the movie's end was a right call, as it's not Alt. U, from out of nowhere we have the Princesses being a little OOC and Tempest suddenly having personalities in her head. Not just that, but there was a distinct power switch between her and Twilight. Now, after the battle, it seems Twilight is the one in control with Tempest scared and conflicted.

I'll look forward to the next chapter though.

8511813
The reaction of the Princesses will be important for later chapters.
Tempest is an emotional wreck, as displayed multiple times by the movie and the comic series.
She had no chance. Imprisoned or worse, or agree to have Twilight take care. (or simply be silent in that case)
There is no wording, howsoever, that Twilight got full reign over her.

8511861
Aaaah, you have me at a disadvantage, as I haven't seen the comics. I do agree though that Tempest is an emotional wreck, purely from what we see in the movie.

8511886

You will see how unbalanced she truly is from the next chapter on
It might seem weird at first, but that's intended

Wouldn't it be funny if Moon Shield was a changeling?
The princesses' insistence on punishment is indeed kinda weird. They hardly seem to punish anyone, but then turning about to single against a turned enemy?
Keep going! ;)

weird, didn't get a notification for this chapter. Oh well.

Will all the sex be F/F?

“What?” Luna whirled to her. “You cannot be serious, sister!”

“But… Sister! This is not right!”

These comments by Luna confuse me, Luna was given redemption herself once, and even showed sympathy to Starlight in the s6 finale, as much as I don't like how that was done... This Luna seems WAAY too OOC for me, pretty sure Luna isn't a hypocrite that will imprison someone who committed crimes similar to hers at the first opportunity she could.

The only other thing in this chapter I find odd is the way you have Grubber depicted. I feel like Grubber is either too stupid or too uncaring to actually show any loyalty to The Storm King.

Other than those two things, I liked this chapter a good bit, shows that Tempest isn't just completely redeemable right away, which was a nice quality that Starlight had in comparison to Trixie and Sunset. And let's be honest, they are all pretty much the same character... I also am looking forward to the next chapter, I feel like a night in Twilight's tower could get a little *cough* steamy... *cough*

loved this chapter. and I really like how you depict Tempest and her relationship with Twilight! Can't wait to read more!

8513025
Yes, like all my clop F/F


8513286
You will understand Luna later, there is a reason for her behaviour.
And about that steamy stuff...
No spoilers :trollestia:

Very interesting dynamic these two are forming. I actually like it quite a lot. also I can't wait to see how you deal with tempests emotional turmoil and struggles. It will be exciting to say the least how Twilight will fix tempests broken soul. I'm a sucker for cute lovey things so i would love to see something along the lines of their relationship being the key to helping tempest on a new path to redemption.

Moon's summary of the prior villains is inaccurate. Perhaps her pride blinds her?
Twilight's Cutie swap was unexpected, did Starlight actually teach that to her?
Something tells us Moon will start conniving soon, whether for good or ill remains to be seen...
Keep going! ;)

8520438
She changed the mark on the armor, not the actual cutie mark
Moon will play a bigger role later :raritywink:

Starlight is nothing without her staff

If I recall, her staff ended up being absolutely nothing more than a plain old stick. She could steal the marks without it. It was essentially just for show, to fool others into believing that power was a staff rather than her own. Don't really remember why she did it that way though.

8521457
As I said, Moon will play a bigger role later with all the stuff she says

8521779
Okay then. I'll shut up now.
Please continue.

Luna, Two words: NIGHTMARE MOON.

Why would you need heat spells from the guards when Celestia is the Goddess of the Sun?

8521457
Because she was telling everypony in town that she had also given up her Cutie Mark and talent and couldn't let them know that she was just faking it; by claiming it was the staff doing the mark removal she avoided letting on that she was still able to use advanced magic on her own.

8535262
Ahh yes. That was it.
Knew it had to be something hypocritical.

Tempest Shadow C.Tag is now up!

Nice work! I really hope to read another chapter!

Why do I have a feeling this ends bad for Luna?

Why Luna made evil here?!?!:applecry:

Luna really needs to let it go.

Vendetta much? Geeze Shining, setting up traps like that is a changeling tactic...
If all the storm King troops are imprisoned, who would have stolen the pool? It sounded like the extraction was careful as well as deliberate, so clearly time was taken, so the question remains: what foolish pony decided they were a vigilante?
Keep going! ;)

Damn Luna. Reverting back to Nightmare are we? Which makes it even stranger that Moon Shield is willing to edge that line right by insubordination.
And somehow, I'm thinking Luna is behind the missing pool. Just a hunch, mind you.

Nice chapter! Can't wait to read more! Keep going!!! :)

Tempest is great. Makes me wish season 5 had given us her instead of Starlight

Twilight just went Fifty shades of grey on Temptest and soin Moon Sheild

I would never expected Twilight acts in that way... LOL

Be glad that Spike didn't hear this.

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