Tempest and Twilight's Son

dream1990

dream1990 #1 · Oct 8th, 2017 · · ·

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aww

dream1990

dream1990 #2 · Oct 8th, 2017 · · ·

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also please make more chapters for this story

Mujaker

Mujaker #3 · Oct 8th, 2017 · · ·

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I Like, But why do not you show the wedding ??

Omegawolfben

Omegawolfben #4 · Oct 8th, 2017 · · ·

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8475052
I thought it may be a boring story but I may make a wedding one or add it to my new Story for them both which will have more then one chapter

Mujaker

Mujaker #5 · Oct 8th, 2017 · · ·

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8475146
and if it is a story that counts for ben ??

Flint-Lock

Flint-Lock #6 · Oct 9th, 2017 · 1 · ·

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Why is their son named "Ben"?

dream1990

dream1990 #7 · Oct 9th, 2017 · 1 · ·

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8475238 i agree i love ben

G33kySt3v3

G33kySt3v3 #8 · Oct 9th, 2017 · 1 · ·

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8475437
I am in agreement on this. While I have no quarrel with the name Ben in real life. 'Ben' is not a pony name, it doesn't have multiple syllables and explain what the pony is going to do in their life or anything...

Texus

Texus #9 · Oct 9th, 2017 · · ·

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I haven'T read them yet, but I already think they are to short to be "that" good.

Omegawolfben

Omegawolfben #10 · Oct 9th, 2017 · · 1 ·

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8475705
I'll be honest I don't really have any good names for their kid so just called him my rl name XD

Texus

Texus #11 · Oct 9th, 2017 · 1 · ·

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Somehow I expected Twilight to be the one giving birth to their baby.
8476525
When I started thinking for a name for him, I had the words

"war,Twilight, Twist, Dark, Fizzle and stuff like that in my head, something that maybe shows a connection to the other two.

War Twist?
okay I'll be honest and I'm to lazy to think further about it since it is done already.

It was a nice start, I hope you add an adoption to your new story too, maybe even before they actually get together, this would creat a different situation as well. Maybe Tempest would rescue one foal from an accident and somehow he get's really attaced to her which might annoyes her at first. I just like to think about an adoption story where they don't get along right away and the mother learns to love him after a while.
The idea came to me when I thought about a...(how do they call it?....) lonely and grumpy character, like a deserted soldier?, that walks through the woods finding a filly that is really scared and traumatized, only trusting that one Mare for that one reason and not wanting anyone else near her.

Omegawolfben

Omegawolfben #12 · Oct 9th, 2017 · 1 · ·

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8477533
That's a good idea I might add it to my new story and also I let Tempest have the child since she is a commander and more tuff mare etc so thought she should have the foal

Texus

Texus #13 · Oct 9th, 2017 · · ·

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8477596
Hhhmmm now that you say it, I just imaged her acting like that clumsy father that is affraid to break the baby if he touches it.

I hope you don't missunderstand my comments, because I know how easy it is to do that with written words, I tried my best to explain it to you right away and even if I should complain I end up liking it anyway most of the time. However my opinion is my opinion and I'm not trying to say that it means less because of it.

StormLuna

StormLuna #14 · Nov 2nd, 2017 · · 1 ·

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he was there son

I think you mean he was their son. I noticed this multiple times throughout your story. I like the story but the word usage problem is very noticeable and it would make it more enjoyable if it were fixed.

Zeebra Monger