Before Spike and Twilight moved to Ponyvile he was seeing someone a beautiful girl named Ruby, but Spike ended the relationship when he finds her kissing one of his best friends fang, after that he closed his heart forever.
When Spike moves to Ponyvile he soon becomes the centre of attention to six beautiful women who have fallen in love with him but when his ex girlfriend comes to Ponyvile and tries to get back with him.
Old wounds start to come back especially Spike's wolf form.
So will Spike choose his ex or will he choose the elements of harmony to be with? Will he transform into his wolf form and kill Ruby and possibly the elements of Harmony?
Chapters (10)
......ehhhhh cringey very cringy. Like the idea, but the stabbed in the back shtick has kinda been done to already. Maybe instead go with a super clingy (read yandere), and Spike decides to get the hell out of doge route. Next your word flow is very blocky to the point of being a chore to read. I mean dude make sure the he said she says are on the same line or at least same paragraph. Same goes for character lines, other wise it looks like shit. Other then that don't do the, werewolf thing, but that is personal preface so take that as you will. Also never go with "I discovered" then verbal exposition, I mean seriously just don't.
Nice story
It was great, please continue this!
Did you accidentally publish this chapter, or is this really it?
I think you meant "want" not "wont"
Interesting concept, but the chapters are too short. However I am curious where this story could go, so you have my attention.
Blueballs isn't an asshole in this story. Okay
Im likin this new blueblood. He's likeable for once...
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You're right about the cringe and cliches.
Hmmm, alright this is an better update than the original, lets see where we go from here
Oh yeah this story see starting to the potential I always knew it had.
You need an editor
This again? Didn't ya learn what happened last time? Oh well I really can't complain, since I've been hoping for the next update.
Seems rushed. But better then mine.
Your rushing it take it slow put more detail into it. I like where the plot of the story is headed though, keep up the good work.
Spike & Redheart a couple?!
We know what’s going on in the elements heads right now NOTICE ME SENPAI. also noice chapter
there needs to be more explanation to the stories im so confused right now
I would like more chapters please.
i’m seeing a couple problems here... the chapters can be read in less than minutes. they’re beyond too short in my opinion. some grammarical errors here and there, nothing too big of an issue, but this story has so much potential, and as it’s leading on now, it could take months for it to go anywhere big, i hope you consider writing longer chapters and/or looking for a proof reader/editor
Edit: Well no S...E...X... so I'll give it that much credit but it's clear a this came from someone living in the ghetto.
Nigga is the first paragraph and I already hit my head against the desk.
The sheer amount of spelling bullshit in this story is giving me a migraine.
Nergal:"Just fix the spelling and it'll be fine."
Hey are you still making this?
If you are i would like to help you edit and give the strory a more steady phase.
Yeah and I wouldn’t mind some help
Not bad the sentence structure is a bit messy and the werewolf thing is wired. But hey you do you and I will continue to read this story.
Well this was shorter than I expected. I would have wrote Spike replying to Celestia with a bit of snark, when she said that he should go to Ponyville but that's just me. Good job with this chapter.
You have a few miss spelled words and a sentence that could use a bit of rearranging, but all in all not bad. Also I wonder how Ruby plans on getting Spike back?
Well Spike you might just be an idiot and your preconceived opinion of what you saw vs what actually happened is still in question.
This getting good and you do need an editor.
I hope that this isn't another Spike fic were the main six don't let Spike have a relationship with anyone other than them. I readed some of them and it makes me angry that they can't let Spike be happy if he isn't dating one if not all of them.
I couldn't even make it through the prologue. This story is so rife with spelling and grammar errors that it's nearly impossible to read, and said errors distract from the story itself to such a degree that whatever plot it might have can't hold my attention, and let's not forget the terribly rushed pacing. I honestly can't comment on the content of the story because I couldn't get far enough to become emotionally invested in it. In its current form, this story is unreadable. Thorough and extensive editing is needed to turn this into something decent.
Normally I just read and don't comment but this was just garbage to read, so many grammatical errors, the pacing is rushed no clear cut plot, the length of the chapters are too short and its more you rambling the story has no clear cut direction with missing pieces to pull everything together. I rate this a Mega F Plus!
10371972 There was no hate just stated my opinion and gave it a rating and honestly my services aren't free. The story has some potential but it would need to be revamped and if I'm not being compensated no. You can always offer to edit though.
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Now that I think about it. I was in a bad mood when posting that. I will proceed with the deletion of said comment.
Have a great day.
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How come?
Barely have any interest in this story sorry
Spike got a ride or die family.
Why would he lose trust in them? What did they do?
He doesn’t know how to block a number?
They can all fit on his back?
What happened?
If you do no one will snitch.
Well, that was an easy battle.
I need some of that healing water.
Ok, that was unexpected.
I’m surprised the princesses are cool with this.
Is it me or is this daja vu?
Well, that sucks.
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Are you still putting it up for adoption? Cause I like to give it a go.
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Yeah you can adopt it