• Published 7th Oct 2017
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Equestrian Swordsman - PrincessMoonzilla



[Displaced] Name's Roronoa Zoro, and I apparently frighten the two sisters bad enough that they send a bunch of civilians at me. Yay?

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Ch 8: Swordsman's Hearing

Chapter 8: Swordsman's Hearing

===[???]===

I was in my stone prison, a trophy from an era of conflict that the world would rather forget.

Unmoving, unfeeling, but my emotions were turmoil.

Golden Hoof, half drunk, all rage, attempted to strike down the Sisters for what they had done to me.

He was turned to ash before the Alicorns.

Artemis became one of the best hunters and mercenaries that the world had seen.

She was poisoned while trying to gain enough money to buy me.

Clover went on to be the second most famous unicorn in history, and exceeding her teacher in many ways.

She was torn apart at the atomic level trying to find a cure for me.

Xante created the cure-all potion that could heal most any ailment, making him the greatest alchemist short of Nicked Flannel.

He dissolved when attempting to make a potion to cure me.

Baskerville became the most notable Prime Alpha, helping create an underground system that spread halfway around the world.

He perished attempting to take me away to their capital.

I was forced to watch my friends die, all in vain attempts to help me. What have I ever done for them? All that knowing me ever brought them were countless tiring nights, near death experiences, and too many horrors that no one should see.

I was burning, flames covering my vision that was fixated on my old friends. A low rumble shook the ground, a testament to its power and size. If I could shift my neck, I would have seen my last friend.

Ignatious.

I would have seen his sorrowful face, the sadness of seeing those that we cared about fall. I would have seen the disappointment that the one who brought the world to its knees can now be beaten by a simple hammer and chisel.

I would have seen him erupt into a giant fire, attempting to bring me down with him. Attempting to make me atone for what I had done.

Yet I remained stone.

Unmoving, unfeeling, but my emotions were turmoil.

===[Zoro’s POV]===

Do you want to know the fun part about being dragged into a city where all the people stare at you as though you’re some sort of rabid beast? As though you are just a wild animal who was trapped in a cage and is awaiting for the moment where you will bite their hand off?

They freaked the hell out when I looked in their direction.

“Zorry, stop doing that,” the pink one said, ushering me forward. “You need to stop looking so serious or they will keep being a meanie pants to you.”

“Hey, it's not my fault,” I stated, raising my hands defensively.

“Sure it ain’t,” Apple muttered in a sarcastic aside.

“Whatever the reason, just stop it. They’re scared enough as is. It's rare when foreign dignitaries show up, so everypony is on edge.” Whoa, more than a sentence from Egghead? That was rare these days.

Oh, you’re lost? Well, let me backup.

Two weeks have passed since the fiasco that they had dubbed “Lesson Zero.” The purple unicorn had been avoiding long confrontations with me, keeping all of our interactions to a minimum. I was fine with that, I want to be alone, much better in my opinion. The only bad thing was that it gave me more time to think.

And thinking is a very dangerous path for those of us who don’t usually partake in it.

I thought back to that day and I realize that I was being a bit of a dick. A justified dick, yes, but still. Just like with Celestia, there were a dozen different ways I could have said it, but I decided to do the most direct and dramatic. I somehow always do. It gets the point across, but I always manage to f*** up.

Ugh, what the hell is wrong with me? I’m supposed to be a god-slaying demon here, one of the world’s worst nightmares, yet here I am feeling sorry for hurting one pony’s feelings? When did I get soft?

And to say that I was desperate for information was an understatement. Hundreds of books and nothing! Science, agriculture, nature guides, even f***ing law books held nothing but my crushed hopes and wasted hours of sleep! Do you even know how important I rank sleep!

If you guys want to know why I'm doing this, it's because I've got a plan. Find out what the government does with them, find out who might have been stealing them, discover the web of their operation, make some bodies disappear, and make the government take better care with those fruits.

You know, I’ve never thought about fruits as much as I have in the past two weeks. Life is strange.

Anyway, c’est la vie. Even in sugar cane and lemon drop lands life seems to find a way to shit on you. In this case, It was a mix of me and Sunny.

Me you can probably understand, but why is the demigod ruler of her own country in deep shit, you ask? Well, let’s look at the facts:

1) She let her sister, who almost commit genocide, off with just a slap on the wrist and made her the second most politically powerful pony in the world. That’s already pretty bad on it’s own.

2) She had let the most powerful weapons this world has, because no matter what people think the Elements are weapons, fall and stay in the hands of the most ragtag group of civilians anyone could possibly imagine. Most would agree that they were nice girls, yes, but there was too much about them that could make them effectively useless as a line of defence. To the Griffons and Minotaurs, who are very military focused if my late night reading was correct, letting the Six keep the Elements was both irresponsible and insulting.

3) Discord. Instead of smashing his statue like a sensible person, she just let the amalgamation stand around in her yard until it came to bite her in the ass. If he had gotten bored or the girls hadn’t defeated him, he would have spread his influence to other lands. And when he was turned to stone, she just leaves it as it was the day before he escaped. Can you see how this is worries them?

4) Me. I am arguably the strongest being on this planet after Discord, I am the most dangerous, and I have one hell of a mean streak in their eyes. The world leaders see Sunny as trying to take control of me in order to keep them in line and following her orders. We all know that’s BS, but that’s how people think when a neighboring country lets a monster lose within their borders.

So, imagine my surprise when, after dealing with a rampaging Spike having a Greed Growth episode - which is something all arcano dragons do, I had explained to him - I get a visit from our recently re-embellished princess Moony that the world leaders what to gather in order to finally decide on how to deal with the situation that is my existence. Ain’t I lucky?

When we arrived at Equestria’s pompous capital, where the smell of perfume was almost as overwhelming as the egos, you could tell things were different. While ponies usually stuck their noses so far into the air that they didn’t have to smell arôme de merde, they had their eyes darting around, worried about running into a wayward griffon or zebra.

“You know, for a species that preaches about love and tolerance, you guys sure are hypocrites.”

“But I don’t have hypochondria,” Pinks said.

“That ain’t what he meant, sugarcube. And how in the hay’re we hypocritical?”

“Zecora,” I deadpanned. Man, if I were a pony my special talent would be making others cringe. Butters was even doing that weird anime fingertips thing.

“That was a one time thing,” Rainbow said, crossing her arms defensively.

“How about Trixie?” Yeah, Scootaloo (which was annoyed that I was still calling her Zoe), Spike and I were very chatty over what has gone down in this town. Sometimes I just wanted to Gibs them before remembering that they could get the yellow pegasus to do that crazy eye magic that tears into souls.

“And why ever would you think that that conceited showmare didn’t deserve what she got?”

“Well, Curls, for one, it was her job to seem larger than life and boast a little or else she couldn’t eat. Two, her house was destroyed by a giant bear a couple of idiots decided to bring to town for Tao knows what reason. Finally, because of you guys, her reputation and career are almost unsalvageable.” Zoro the Realist strikes again! He sustains himself on all of your f*** ups!

After that, it was mostly small talk amongst the six of them with me adding in a bit of friendly human advice from time to time. We did see a few other species walking around, but they avoided me like a vegetarian avoids an American BBQ. I think I even saw a minotaur almost piss himself at the sight of me, so that was nice.

When we finally did make it to the Castle, we were greeted with the best hospitality that they could muster.

“Welcome citizens and… demon. The Princesses are waiting for you. Miss Sparkle, I believe that you know the way.” As I said, the best they could muster.

Now, as opposed to the ponies that I would have usually deal with should I ever decided to come here, I was instantly drawn to the small groups of creatures that were very clearly soldiers. Zebras, griffons, minotaurs, diamond dogs, there was even a dragon or two.

Some looked ready to shit themselves. Others seemed to be judging me and laughing internally. The rest were just doing their duty to look as intimidating as possible. One dragon, a teen by the size, tried snarling and provoking me.

Needless to say, I owe the Solar Princess for her new sky light.

“Excuse me,” a familiar voice said. “I'm going to have to ask you to come with me.” I turned my head to see that same snow colored unicorn from my ‘escape.’ On each side of him were ten guards, each looking exactly the same. I had asked Spike about it and apparently the armor held enchantments that made everyone look the exact same.

Funny that uniformity be placed within a society that heavily believes in individuality.

“BBBFF!” Our Magic Girl ran towards the taller unicorn and just straight up glomped him. From what my Observation was showing, she held a familial love for him that he reciprocated, but he also had a smidge of fear.

“Twily, it's great to see you,” he said, hugging her back. “I'm sorry, but duty first, then we can catch up, okay?”

“But, I… alright. But you owe me at least an hour of Sparkle SIbling time after all this is done,” she said, puffing up her cheeks in that weird anime style. You never really notice how weird these things translate to real life until it’s right in front of your face.

He rubbed her head and laughed. “Sure thing, sis. I’ll hopefully be let off duty in an hour. Until then, feel free to stay within the visitors section of the castle. For now, Roronoa Zoro, please allow us to place these handcuffs and inhibitor ring on you before we head out.” As soon as he said that, two guards came forward with the aforementioned items, proceeding to put them on.

I just stared blankly at the offending objects. They looked a lot like the cuffs used in the Enies Lobby Arc. “You do know that this won’t do anything besides annoy me, right?”

“It’s more for peace of mind than anything.”

“Ah,” was my eloquent response before bowing to my group. “Until this thing blows over, stay out of trouble.”

“Yeah yeah, we’ll be here,” Rainbow said dismissively.

“Let’s go raid the kitchen!” was Pinks’ response.

“‘Sparkle Sibling time,’” Apple whispered to Curls, who just shrugged.

Butters nodded.

Egghead looked away bashfully before muttering “don’t do anything stupid.”

With that, I was whisked away by ponies in armor to either the dungeons or to the meeting room.

===[Celestia’s POV]===

“... And furthermore, you have been showing little to no regard to treaties, some of which you were there for their creation, which dictates actions such as these.” By the Maker does he go on.

It has been a little over three hours in to the meeting and we were still on one of the first subjects brought up; my sister. I should have been surprised that nopony except the diamond dogs sent their leader, but it is still insulting that they would accuse me for these grievances without looking me in the eyes. Yes, some of my decisions were rash, but I didn't care.

The one talking was first-in-line for the throne to the Griffon Kingdom, Prince Grei Reinhart. A bit arrogant at times and a wiz when it comes to strategic games, but very impulsive when it came to matters such as these.

The representative from Zebafrica was Head Huntress Zarola. She was quiet and mindful, and had a stare similar to his that just made your skin crawl.

Prime Alpha Adalsteinn was, as most of his kind were, loyal and liked to charge headfirst into anything without thinking of the consequences. In fact, the similarities between him and Ms Rainbow Dash were truly scary. The only difference is that he prides himself as the fastest digger in the tribes.

The Changeling Hive had sent Princess Chrysalis in place of Empress Rhopalocera, a sweet nymph when around her ‘meals,’ but reminded me of Luna when she was younger when around friends. And she was a horrifying imp in those days.

The Minos Kingdom had sent the Second Prince Iron Drive. King Iron Resolve was dealing with some domestic problems, most caused by the news that the Green Demon was back, and it didn’t help that the First Prince was still wandering around. Iron Drive was a good calf, but he was much too reserved and kind for the likes of the court. Thank goodness Blueblood agreed to mentor him on the Game else he would’ve been eaten alive.

And while he wanted to come himself, Lord Torch agreed on sending his daughter Ember in his place. I’m honestly just thankful that his brother managed to reel him in before he could come to take on him in the middle of the little town he was currently occupying.

Two out of seven world leaders with the rest of them heirs.

“While I acknowledge that fact, I don’t see how that plays into your argument. I can assure you that my sister is not in danger of turning on the world again. Not only does she not have the magic capabilities that she used to before the Summer Sun Celebration, there are multiple measures in place if she were ever to go through her transformation again.”

“Oh, then I suppose you have measures in place for the Demon then? After all, he is the reason that this meeting was called for.”

I sighed. Sometimes I just wished that things would be like the good old days. ‘Will it kill us?’ ‘Maybe.’ ‘Throw it some food, maybe that will work.’ Fast, simple, and it was how we domesticated dogs. Worked back then. But back then was a constant struggle to survive in a world that didn’t take kindly to those who fought against the powers in charge. Nowadays, it seemed all they did was fight for their complacency.

“I can understand why you are worried, but is this decision really best if hurried?”

“Of course it is, Head Huntress. While I still don’t believe that Equestria isn’t attempting to control him, he is very much a threat if left alone. Our ancestors barely held him off, and what do they get for their sacrifices? That monster roaming alive while they lay dead.”

“Everydog dies at some point. At least they had the honor of dying in battle, so who cares about how they died? Let the dead mind their own problems while we mind ours.”

“This could very well become our problem!” He turned towards the Dragonlands’ representative. “Surely, Lady Ember, you too must realize the danger that he is.”

Ember, who had rarely spoken up at all, had a very annoyed look resting on her face. “We dragons made an agreement with the Swordsman that many of our Elders are very adamant to keep alive if he really is still active. Unlike your other races, it takes a long time for our eggs to hatch and even longer for them to mature. The total amount of dragons that currently occupy our lands are roughly the size of each of your armies. While we don’t usually care about numbers, the Elders have seen that it doesn’t matter if we were to send everydrake that lives on our land, we would still lose. It’s not worth risking the lives of my people on some stupid campaign that we backed out of centuries ago.”

“I’ll have to agree with her for different reasons,” Chrysalis added. “While we have the opposite situation of the dragons, the Hivemind often shows that he won’t attack unless provoked. So unless you wish for a second World War, I suggest that you stop trying to play ‘hero’ like those before you and look at facts.” Just like sister.

“T-that isn’t a very nice way of p-putting it, but true. W-why can’t peace be an option,” Drive spoke up.

“Just stop arguing and decide already,” Adalsteinn added. “I just want to go home already. Haven’t we talked enough.”

A knock silenced the group, all appreciating the distraction. And if I’m a betting mare, it would probably be Shining Armor with our guest. Please let this go smoothly.

Two guards opened the doors to reveal my suspicions true. Captain Shining Armor, a stallion that could do with more vacations than he lets himself have, was with twenty soldiers from the Marines, highly trained guards that could probably take down an Ursa Minor with just those numbers, were leading the one that set off my ruined afternoon.

Roronoa Zoro was dressed in his usual attire, a green overcoat with a red sash around his waist and leather boots. His three golden earrings clinging together so softly probably only him and I could hear it. A gasp went around when they saw that he had a red hilted Neighponese blade adorning his side.

I myself found the situation amusing as he was staring blankly at the useless handcuffs that were placed on his wrists. That and the ambassadors could also feel his pressure.

“World Leaders, I present to you the Green Demon, Roronoa Zoro.”

“Thank you, Captain.” He saluted before having all the guards surround the conference room, leaving the human in the center of the room.

“W-Welcome-”

“Seriously, Sunny, why the handcuffs? You know I can just break them, right.”

“Bah,” the Diamond dog scoffed. “Those are Deep Iron by the looks of them, strongest metal around. You can’t possibly-” He was instantly quiet as Zoro pulled his arms apart, breaking the cuffs. He rose his eyebrow, staring expectantly at Adalsteinn.

“Zoro, I ask that you refrain from scaring them too much.”

“And make the load on you lighter? But I love seeing you squirm on your comfy chair. Speaking of, mind if I get one?”

“I’m not sure if I should be appalled or amused that you defeated our Elders,” Ember said.

“Ah, yes, the peanut gallery. Now let us see who we have here. Sunny was a given and I heard Moony left for the Big Apple for some festival. Dragons are definitely wanting to leave me alone. Changelings would probably leave everyone alone if it weren’t for their food source, but they don’t like the taste of fear so no fighting me. Zebras and Diamond Dogs are middle fences, waiting to see if it’s worth it. Griffons feel like I wounded their honor and want to take me on. Minotaurs…?”

“C-c-conservative for n-now. Lots are afraid, s-some want a f-fight.”

“As expected. And a timid kid in politics? Fate was not kind to you…”

I was once again surprised at how knowledgeable he was on the situation. It was easy for most to see him as a juggernaut, charging in without a care. But he was intelligent, dare I say cunning. He could take out strategic areas that could’ve turned the tide of battles before we even had them set up, and forged fake reports like nothing. But given the new information that he traveled with Clover probably explained that last part.

“Hm, boredom laced with amusement. And a splash of exhaustion? Not the usual reaction to this situation, is it Roronoa?”

“Madam, please, do I look like the usual brood that you lot bring into here?”

“Would you mind telling me why you have a sword on thee,” Zalora asked.

“Ah, this is Sandai Kitetsu, one of my weapons. I have this on me for both comfort and protection.”

“What protection should a creature that can break Deep Iron need?!”

“Didn’t say whose protection.” Looks like silence is always following him it seems.

“Well, how about we rush this onward and get to the reason why Roronoa Zoro is here, yes,” I said, trying to defuse the possible scenario.

“Hm, quite,” Chrysalis said.

“Roronoa Zoro, you are placed before us for multiple reasons. The most prominent is how to deal with this whole situation that is your freedom from your imprisonment.”

“Well, if I must be my own lawyer, I've done my time and took my chances. You guys are paranoid over my non-existent plans, and I'm stuck living in a treehouse until my parole officer deems me worthy enough not to blast into a living statue. Whole scenario. No plans of world destroying or subjugating the world to look in my image. I'm just a wanderer.”

I speak for everypony when I say I was not expecting music to blare from him. All of us were slack jawed, but Chrysalis was falling over laughing when she realized the meaning behind the song.

“Do you think that this is a joke? That the United Equus Council is some animal for you to poke?”

“Yes,” he stated. I visibly sweatdropped. Maker dammit Zoro.

“You are aware that we can order your execution at any time, yes,” the Griffin smugly asked. Zoro simply looked at him, fear suddenly grasping its hold over the prince.

“I'm sorry,” he chuckled. “But was that a threat? Cause I'm pretty sure it was.”

“Zoro…”

“Oh no, Sunny, if he wants to threaten me, I'll tell him exactly why it's, surprisingly, a bad idea.” Before anypony could blink, he was crouching in front of Grei and grabbed the front of his shirt, staring right into his eyes. The guards made a move to apprehend him, but I stayed their hands. I really didn't want the situation getting I worse than it already was, and I had faith, albeit a small amount, that Zoro would keep it non-violent.

“My top speed was recorded to be around 9000 miles per hour, I can predict actions an enemy takes before even they know, and I can strike with the force of a hydrogen bomb. I know you don't know that that is but it’s extremely impressive. And do you know what I want to do with all this power?” He let the griffin go, causing him to fall backwards. “I want to live my life in peace. I want to live without you people constantly watching me in fear of something that will never happen. You all like to think that you are ‘righteous’ and can do no wrong, but you forget. Not once did I attack for no reason, and yet I was painted as the bad guy. I was always the defendant. I just wanted to be alone.”

He stood up and jumped back down to the center of the room and addressed everypony. “Is my request insane? No, but asking you lot to drop your preconceptions immediately is. Just give me space and you’ll see. Probably. Hopefully.

“Now that all the serious business involving me is over; Sunny, we need to talk later. And if you say no, I'll just break into your room later.” All guards pointed their weapons towards him at that. “Oh like you could stop me.”

With that, he left as he played another song, pointing his index finger with his thumbs up at all of the females present. “Later.”

It was a solid minute before anyone dared to move or speak.

“I like him,” the changeling princess said.

As soon as she said that, my eyes widened. He was supposed to stay for another hour! Damn you, Zoro!

===[3rd POV]===

The three members sat around the strange fruit that they had found not moments earlier. All of them had voiced their theories as to what it was.

“Ah still don’ feel too good ‘bout this,” Applebloom said. “AJ said that if we were ta find anythin’ strange, we bring it ta her.”

“Psh, relax,” the pegasus said, waving off her friend’s concern. “What’s the worst that can happen? It’s just a fruit.”

“Yeah, how can something so pretty looking be dangerous,” Sweetie Belle voiced her opinion.

“Parasprites,” was the farmpony’s answer. All three cringed.

“Even so, it grew in your orchard, so how dangerous could it actually be?”

“But AJ said-”

“Applejack ain’t here right now,” Scootaloo retorted. “And what she doesn’t know won’t put you in trouble.”

“Anypony else getting deja vu?”

“Fine,” she relented. “But Ah sure as heck ain’t eatin’ it.”

“Oh, I know! We can play rock paper scissors. Whoever wins gets to do what they want with it.”

The pegasus and earth pony nodded, and got into position.

“Rock-”

“-Paper-”

“-Scissors!”

Applebloom and Scootaloo looked in amazement as they had both put down rock.

And the unicorn had paper.

Begrudgingly, Scootaloo passed the fruit to her alabaster friend. As soon as it was in her hands, she did the only reasonable thing to do with a mystery fruit. She shoved it in her mouth.

As heer friends stared at her, waiting for a reaction, she chewed and swallowed. Her face contorted to a grimace.

“Ugh, that tastes like my spaghetti attempt.” So much fire…

To distract them from the horrifying memory, the other kids questioned their friends, Scootaloo inanely poking her.

“Sooo, you feel different?”

“No.”

“Ya sick?”

“No, but the taste didn’t help.”

“Are you constipated?”

“Um, no, I don’t think so.”

The questions lasted for a good while until the unicorn sneezed. What ensued afterwards would be surprised faces and utter shock for minutes.

Author's Note:

So this was more or less a chapter designed to showcase some of the players on the political front, seeing as how one can't have a "redeemed super villain" without political fallout. It was also used as a way to show that Ms Supernova isn't as powerful on this front as others seem to believe her to be.

Plus, Sweetie Belle ate a devil fruit and Zoro may get answers and shows off his musical power. Fun times ahead as next we world build on these elusive fruits.