[Ben 10 X My Little Pony: FIM]
Vilgax, an intergalactic warlord, lands unwillingly in a world that lacks the technology for space travel. With no means to leave the planet, he starts developing a malicious plan to steal two of the most powerful sources of energy he has ever witnessed in the universe hidden in plain sight from the ponies' habitats with no regard to what it will do to their planet.
Twilight noticed a shooting star and observe it until it exploded in mid-air dispersing its fragments into two. One landed close to Tartarus and a smaller one landed on her friend's apple trees.
Surprised was she when she didn't see an alien creature like she has hope for but rather a white stallion alicorn who was foresight to bring calamity to Equestria and the whole world if he is ever seen.
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Thanks, men. I just hope you don't believe I am trying to steal your thunder or anything
Started when an alien device did what it did,
And put itself upon his wrist, the secrets that it hid,
Now he's got super powers, he's no ordinary kid, he's Ben 10... Ben 10!
This should be Wondering
should be Came
In and Created respectively
Did, Got and Some
There should be a an there
Grab, Did, Stayed, and Held
Had
There are more that I found but this comment is already too long for my taste. PM me if you would like me to point out the rest. also please don't take this as an insult to your writing, i just don't want people to be turned away from this already great story because of a few grammar and spelling mistakes.
8497546
Thanks, men. very helpful
I'm really loving this story alot can't wait for more uploads as soon as u can I'll be waiting my friend
It’s quite good this chapter but you need to fix some of the mistakes in your spelling as quite a few words are incorrect or have letters missing from them.
8505405
There, I think the problem was solved.
8511522
Oh, men, That is true. I didn't even realize that. I guess it was stuck in my mind from your story. I just thought I needed a different color Omnitrix and that one was the first one I thought.
Not bad, could use some more work on spelling and sentences.
It felt like the conversations were broken in some way between Ben and The Princesses.
8514833
That is kind of what I was going for, I guess? I wanted Celestia to be very nervous meeting Ben because of the legend of the stallion of calamity that I haven't revealed yet. I want that story to be like the boogeyman for the princess but since she has millions of years and probably had dealt with stress before, she would know how to be calm when stressed but since this time she is dealing with a fairy tale from her childhood it comes up like... this? I don't know. probably I do it bad.
Paranoid bitch
Really good chapter, needs a little work on the spelling though.
Some words are incorrect and others have added letters that are unneeded.
Still?!! Got dammit. I have an editor but I am always too anxious to upload a new chapter as soon as I think is ready XP. Tell me, is it too bad?
Bens stuck as an alien I hope he gets to transform back
So much potential for this story. Just give it to your editor and it will be okay. I'm also a Ben10 fan. That is why I'm reading your story
Well if you are looking for a basic pencil drawing at first I can probably make one. Just send me a list of what he looks like and I will get started.
ok Ben can't change so it's either a his watch is damaged or be the magic of the land is holding him in pony form. place your pets
8578850
You will found out in the next chap
Whens a new chapter coming
8604221
Is 3/4 done by now so not later than a week from today. I have my finals this week so I cant work on it too much but it will be up really soon.
so i'm taking it the omnitrix was damaged of discord was messing with ben I can see either really I mean discord can pretty much do anything
nice work
Alien X! Yaay! Honestly this is a fun story. Maybe Azmuth could explain why Ben's alicorn form is so powerful. Since the Omnitrix makes Ben into the peak of a species' potential.
Stop with the confusion, my head cannot take it.
This si absolutely amazing and funny at the same time, keep up the Good work Cyber, your biggest story lover approves (me)
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Oh. Jeez... Thanks
static.tumblr.com/77c3ec99a3c998de37da46c811ca05bd/uqzhbl4/VKrnnrd6f/tumblr_static_7yi4u8whurk00c8go8wcoog84.png
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is it weird i find that picture cute?
Wtf happened
8647499
Yea, I know. The guy who was helping me hasn't responded. I guess he gives up on the 6000 words chap.
8647942
No, I have not. Actually. I am very behind in all my readings. I'been berry busy lately.
This is awesome and i love the cliffhanger you added.
Your Kidding, those really aren't the Sun and Moon that orbit around Equestira, then what are they really?
Geeze you may need to fix Rooks speech pattern as it’s a bit off.
Some words are incorrect like in a few instances you have him say awake rather then awoke and other times you mistakenly use me instead of I and vice versa.
Other than that I enjoyed this chapter so far, good to see you updating again.
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Haha thanks. I wanted people to wait for the next chapter that is why I leave that cliffhanger
8839514
Well da. The last time I checked it was the planet that was spinning not the other way around XD. This was actually the first thing I thought while making the story, an explanation of why that happens, then I thought it will be fun to include the Ben 10 universe into the mix.
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Really? Chezz no matter how many times I check it and recheck it and rerechek it. I always miss things like that. Thanks glad you like it
8839927
But this is Celestia and Luna we are talking about, their SPECIAL TALENTS are MOVING the SUN and the MOON with their magic.
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Or do they?
8840099
Yes they do, after all you see Celestia and Luna's magic grab hold of the Sun or Moon and lift or lower them when needed to.
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Or do they?
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Or do you?
Needs some editing.
It is not replay but replied. A look into the FAQ writing guide of this site would help
8848139
OMG!
pa1.narvii.com/6173/9b4e7c941d04bcb78ee58c100de0382218e61ea0_00.gif
It is always something stupid like that.
If it isn't "white" instead of "with" or "sweat" instead of "sweet"
Hahaha Actually that last one was really funny when it happens.
thanks
So just guessing here but is the reason why Ben is stuck in Alicorn mode because of the shear amount of Mana in the environment screwing with the omnitrix? If so then Azmuth seriously needs to fix that glitch/vulnerability since this is the second time that the omnitrix has been compromised by mana. And if not since Ben went "Alien X" can he now access his other forms, but for now has Alicorn as his base form (seriously we saw everyone's reaction to Alien X even if they didn't exactly know what was going on, but what about the other aliens, although I'd rather see Celestia's reaction to ben fighting Vilgax while swapping between different forms).
8851474
You are really close
8851751
So can Ben use his other forms or was the Alien X transformation possible because Alien X? Or well he be able to use his other transformations in the final battle (Waybig punching Tirek in the face and Celestia seeing that Ben wasn't lying)
Well at least he has Fourarms to help him against Vilgax.
"There's no Omnitrix instruction manual! That's a sumo slammers trading card guide!"
"Hmm... No wonder it's so complicated."
Blukic and Driba are da best.
So... Much... Laughing...
🤣
8956342
Na, Ben has full control of the Omnitrix now. The only reason he didnt transform into the aliens he wanted was because of his stupid habit of slamming the Omnitrix when pushing the button what makes the cylinder to tilt slightly and selecting a different alien.
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Hahah sure they are
8957808
Got that from the Wii game. 10 out of 10, would play it again.