Equestria's Greatest Moment: A Compilation of the Stories of the Brave Ponies Who Fought In the Face of Overwhelming Odds

by Philosophysics

Preface

During the days of the Storm King’s short reign, there was a large rebellion that led several notable attacks against him, biding time for the Bearers of Harmony to gather reinforcements for one final large attack.

While our being conquered was admittedly a dark time, I believe it was also one of our best times, with ponies of every race, every class, and every age working together against a common foe.

Little to no fatalities occurred despite all the reports that I am still recieving days after the final battle.

I have decided to attempt to compile all the stories into a little book for publication. What you are currently reading is the preface. I’ve always been a firm believer in organic writing and never erasing one’s thoughts.

Thank the Princesses I don’t write much.

What follows is the speech broadcasted over the speakers from the interrupted Festival of Friendship that had been occurring at the start of the Storm King’s invasion. It occured on the day after when the enslavement first began. It was broadcasted through all of Canterlot and only Canterlot. The quaint story that it reached all of Equestria is but a story and it is remarkably improvised and rushed. Perhaps given time, it could have been a tad bit more inspiring, but we can only assume the speaker was in a rush due to the bombs he had placed for his escape.

Despite the less than flawless speech and deliverance, it did serve its purpose over the coming days of rebellion.
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Stereotypes are born from the instinct and need to categorize things.

Fire is hot and burns things, water is wet and puts out fire, oh no, the house is on fire, must get water to put it out.. Simple things like that. It’s really quite useful.

This categorization works quite well with nature and inanimate objects. For living things however? It is quite inadequate.

Dragons are ferocious, territorial beings. True for many of them, but I know of a dragon assistant very much trusted by all the Princesses, the Crystal Empire, and myself though I may not show it. In fact, Fillydelphia has recently become a place where you can see dragons working amongst ponies.

Changelings are backstabbing lovesuckers. They did recently invade Equestria, twice I might add, but they’ve put in a lot of work and effort to become better. In fact, I recently had a tea with their king and he was a benevolent enough person if a bit naive.

I could go on and on, but seeing as this is a book about ponies, I shall now go into depth about the many, many, many stereotypes about ponies.

We are weak.(Patently untrue.)

Very specialized due to our Cutie Marks.(I have a whole damn section just to explain exactly what a Cutie Mark really is, what it used to be called, AND WHAT IT ACTUALLY REPRESENTS AND DOES!)

Naive.(Changelings are born the perfect infiltrators. Literally shapeshifting minutes after they are born.)

Scare easily.(Some. Some. Tartarus damn it. SOME!)

Stupid.(...Earth ponies have an innate understanding of how nature works and animal psychology, pegasi have part time jobs making weather, and to teleport, a medium level skill for unicorns, one must have a faint idea of how the flipping fuckets the universe works. No. We are not stupid.)

Silly.(Nothing to say in defense here.)

Namby pamby(Faust’s tits, why is this still a thing!? One of our greatest generals was named this and he was anything but that!)

And my personal favorite.

My absolute personal favorite.

Did I mention how favorite this last one is? Because I sure as hell fucking do.

We are pushovers.

You can’t see me laughing, so I’ll make sure to be extra loud.

*Sounds of laughter*

Ponies are not pushovers. We forgive much and we forgive a lot, but we are not pushovers.

We have survived the living embodiment of chaos, Discord, in his tantrums a millenia back when he was at his most powerful.

We killed an entire species that fed on hatred, ie the windigoes, by killing our hatred.

We settled in the middle of the WildLands, that land no other species would touch on account of how wild and uncontrolled the magic wasa, and pushed it back into a little section called the Everfree Forest.

WE BUILT A FREAKING CASTLE IN THE MIDDLE OF IT AND TOSSED IT WHEN OUR LEADERS HAD A SIBLING FIGHT!

Our Princesses move the sun and moon and we have conquered the Frozen North through the power of love.

One of our jobs that we peddle to our kids is to be a weatherpony, and not the kind where you predict the weather, BUT THE KIND WHERE YOU FUCKING MAKE IT!

We teach our kids how best to protect yourselves against cockatrices, manticores, and a whole crap ton of things.

The older we get, the more powerful our magic becomes. On average, the average pony lives about 300-500 years.

We have survived a millennia and have built an empire on the WildLands that no one but we could have tamed.

And you think you can conquer us?

Little known fact, assfuck. Back in the old days, we were conquered all the time. Each and every time, we would pass word to all the villages and have a Festival. No seriously, that’s what they called it. Just Festival. Nothing else.

In the old days, our enemies remember it under a number of names. It is called Exsterno, or stampede by the Griffons. The Running Death the buffalos called it. The yaks remember it simply as the Sound. Dragons? Well… They just call it, the Long End. Fun fact, the DragonLands wasn’t always the perpetual wasteland of lava and stone it was.

And that was before the Princesses came in and defended us. Hell, it was before the three pony races decided to stop hating each other and start doing cool crap together like this Festival of Friendship you so rudely interrupted.

We ponies like our festivals. Seeing as you trashed one, I think it’s time we bring back one and trash yours.

If all you ponies would allow me to kickstart the festivities with a little speech, I would be happy to oblige.

*Long silence*

I’m going to assume that’s a yes. Why thank you for this tremendous honor.

*Cough*

Welcome fellow Equestrians to the Festival!

It has been more than one thousand years since the last one has happened, but it’s never too late to start again!

*Silence*

You were supposed to laugh. Oh well.

I’ll cut to the chase.

I know you’re scared. You’re terrified. Equestria hasn’t fought a real war in a long time. But that doesn’t matter. Right now, you are muzzled. You are chained. You are enslaved to this idiotic ponce who thinks that we will roll over just like that.

And he’s right. We’ve rolled over. We got pushed. We got shoved. We are on the fucking ground, lying and wallowing in our despair and defeat.

Quite frankly, I’m disgusted.

Our ancestors had a festival when this happened. When they got invaded, they had a damn festival. They would gather up, get good food and drink, and then just fight like the ponies they were. They’re gone, but they’ve left us.

Alone, we’re just an earth pony. We’re just a pegasus. We’re just a unicorn.

Together? We do great things. We can all be alicorns working together.

And a festival is a gathering of all of us, at our best selves, at our best moments.

The Festival of Friendship isn’t over. It’s only just begun.

*Silence*

Oh crap, I forgot! The runes! AH! It’s going to-

*BOOM!*
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...Definitely not my best moment.

Prince Blueblood the Fifty Second
First Diplomat of Equestria
Proud Participant of the Festival

Comments

[Draco Dei]

During the days of the Storm King’s short reign, there was a large rebellion that led several notable attacks against him, biding time for the Bearers of Harmony to gather reinforcements for one final large attack.

My thought upon reading this is that you probably, but not necessarily mean "buying" not "biding" since the latter would imply to me that it was widely known the Mane Six were going to be doing at least something, but not very soon. Upon reading slightly further I see that that information might have been included in the "pirate broadcast", and spread from there. Still that word seem a bit too... lacking in action. "Laying in wait" is the most active it implies to me.

Edit: It seems my hypothesis in the spoiler was wrong.

[Philosophysics]

9778915
Meh, i wrote this because I didn't like how.... little actually happened in the movie

I like to think i'm a better writer

I still like this story as one of the first "good" stories I did, but I would redo it.

Thanks for the advice though.