• Member Since 22nd Aug, 2013
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twilightsparkle3562


I am a man from Massachusetts with Autism who enjoys MLP, Disney and writing!

T

Following the events of the movie, Tempest Shadow accepts responsibility for her actions and attempts to atone for her actions while serving under the Storm King.

Author's Note:

Chapters 11-15 were written at Canterlot KC 2017 in Kansas City, MO

Chapters 59-61 were written at CONglomeration 2018 in Louisville, KY

Edited by SuperPinkBrony12

Chapters (72)
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Comments ( 460 )

Um, you realize that your title spoils one of the movie's best funny moments from literally the very end of the movie, which probably not a lot of people would've had a chance to see yet since it's just now going into wide release, right?

static.comicvine.com/uploads/original/14/147508/4603475-571083942a7feb6bce027edee668c6b345db96cf85b61e8db11d0ea0132c20b0.jpg

8469782 Yeah, this is a bit bleh.

Not like it would have been hard to avoid spoiling just by using the name everyone knows her by.

Okay, aside from the spoilerly title, this is a good start.

8469782
8469801
8470004 Already gone ahead and removed Tempest's original name from the title and the chapter. Hope that helps!

Hi. I just finished watching MLP Movie. and when I came to the site. I noticed your story. Your chapter has intrigued me a lot even if the title is understood by itself. But I really liked you as you are demonstrating the Tempest remorse for what he did. :twilightsmile:
His character is very curious and we hope that in a possible new season he can make his debut again. since its history is very sad and comprehensible as it may have changed. His way of redemption is just beginning. I can not wait to read your update.:yay:

8470334
I know that Tempest is a mare. Error by Translate..:twilightblush:

Comment posted by MJP deleted Oct 16th, 2017

8472046
Right off the bat it’s obvious that you haven’t actually seen it.

MJP

8472797
i'm sorry but i just have way too little faith in hollywood to like this movie, once you see all the blantant SJW propaganda in most of the movies that come out nowadays it's hard to un-see it


i mean think about it, not a single white male voice actor portrays a heroic character

8473139
That doesn’t mean you should base your opinion off of what other people think.

8473139
1. 98% of the MLP characters are female to begin with, so that’s not much of a surprise.
2. It’s mainly directed towards children, girls at that.
3. Simply because they aren’t white or male, doesn’t mean it’s a bad movie or that the other voice actors are bad. Like, have you even watched the movie at all?

I can't wait to see the next chapter. Think Grubber might try to help?

i already love this fic and cant wait to see what tempest does in the story :pinkiehappy:

Moondancer and Twilight were in the same class together in both magic kindergarten and Celestia's school for gifted unicorns, but I don't think Moondancer was ever Celestia's student.

"Perhaps," replied Celestia. "However, I think I need to reopen this case and reunite Tempest with her loved ones. But, the timing has to be right. I don't want to force her into a situation that will upset her."

Wow......it really isn't often that someone writes a character or is at least pretending, that the characters care for the wellbeing of the others and not just trying to force the story to procced or the main char (other) to do stuff "they" want to be done.

Wow...I think Razzle Fizzle is maybe a bit overreacting right now, but at the same time I can totally understand how she feels, mostly because of her parents death. You could say the only thing that I didn't liked about her reaction was, to completely ignore her sisters feelings there or calling them "not important enough", I mean she was just a child and not a genius of life.

Well good story, but honestly I still hope that they are just writing a story with her parents in it too, because i want a sad and sweet reunion.

Well... I liked the MLP movie and Tempest was honestly the best part, but this is a little bland. Tempest isn't really in character here. Its pretty obvious. Twilight is also a bit forgettable. Dont get me wrong, I appreciate anything with Tempest in it that isn't a clopfic, it could be better though.

"But, you're one of the ponies that were imprisoned by me, weren't you? I thought you'd be angry at me."

"No, Trixie and I managed to escape and we took shelter in the Everfree Forest with Zecora and several other ponies."

Headcanon accepted.

"Days, ever since their parents died not too long ago," answered Moon Dancer as she sat down on her sofa.

No offense, but many authors try everthing to not show Tempest parents, I'm kind of glad that I know one story where they are alive.

I think at some point she has no say in the matter, if her sister is going to like Tempest again or not, but Celestia can at least try to prevent Razzle to do some kind of revenge thing.

I know how she acted during the end of the movie, but even with the hype slowly going down to a normal level and after reading some other stories, I would kind of like to see that Tempest is still keeping some of her old personality.
I like to think that characters like Queen Novo or Tempest can have that kind of character and just get accepted by others instead of them trying to "repair" the personality of someone.

What I mean is, while I like and accept her current emotional state, I hope that she can still get angry or that her personality shows itself sometimes.

8479781
Agreed. We've just seen Razzle Frizzle and I'm already not liking her. She's acting like Tempest still acts like when she did what she did. I dread to see what happens when they meet. Does she even know that Storm King was behind the invasion? If there's anyone she should be mad at, it's him.

8488009
Now that you say it I haven't quite noticed it yet, but it really felt like she thinks Tempest was the great emperor of evil. Well the one behind everything like you just said.

8472046
just because a critic says a movie is bad, doesn't mean every one should hate it. I still like the Transformers movies, even though many critics hate them.

8488052
Could be just a writing flaw, who knows.

8488009
Maybe, but Tempest was still his willing minion. She shouldn't get off the hook for this. Moreover, he's not responsible for her running off in the first place, which led to their parents dying early in this story. That's on her.

"Well, you know from my classes that I always give out second chances, Moon Dancer," said Celestia, sighing heavily as she got to her feet. "I always believe in second chances even for ponies that do harm to others. I gave it to Discord and Twilight certainly has given it to others as well. I want to help Fizzlepop as much as her, but the first thing I need to do is to try and repair a relationship between two sisters. If only that would be so easily done."

I am now waiting for you to put Storm King back together.

What? You said you believe in second chances.

8489110
Like Texus said, she was just a filly, she didn't know any better.

Smart choice getting Tempest to attend therapy.

"Nopony would want to listen to a unicorn with a broken horn," muttered Tempest, in a pained voice. "All my friends, they would scoff at me, say that I was worthless with a broken horn. I wanted to get revenge on them, all of them! That's why I joined the Storm King's services, so I could take out my personal pain on Equestria!"

A hushed silence fell on the dining hall and Twilight almost spat out her tea as a result.

something doesn'T feels right about Starlight acting like...well the way she does, trying to show her knowledge because she knows it so much better and stuff. (I forget how you call it, so that it doesn'T sounds as strong as it probably does right now.

Maybe I just think that she can't just compare any experience with her own, since every pony is a different pony and stuff like that.

I really liked Starlight and still like her, but I don't exactly like what they are trying to do with her. (at least I might have a difficult time to not mix up the "fimfiction Starlight" and the Starlight from the series, not sure if I would say that to the one in the show too.)

Her name is Sweetheart and she's one of Equestria's top therapists. I'm sure she would be more than willing to listen to what you have to say about your feelings."

Now I'm curious if you can write a good or a bad therapist. I think a bad therapist was one that would try to tell her what is right and wrong, instead of figuring out what is troubling her and showing her how she could cope with it.

I try to remember everything I know from personal experience, school and other stories, but I think the bad ones always tried to change them in a way.

"Yes, I believe so," said Luna. "We are going to need your help with this case. We need your love to try and mend any wounds that are between Tempest Shadow and her sister."

Maybe I forgot something, because it is difficult to seperate small things in all those 5 Tempest fanfictions I read right now, but I forgot why they are doing this.
I still think that isn't exactly their business.

edit: Well okay, they have to make sure that Razzle isn't trying anything after they started the problem with their meddling. In my eyes they should have consulted Tempest on that matter.
They are often shown acting like they wanted to say "I did what I wanted to happen and now BE HAPPY WITH IT!"

Maybe they are so affraid of her that they want her to heal since she managed to beat them, items or not.

"You were the one who fashioned these memories yourself, Tempest."

I think I get what he was saying, but could you repeat that to me in a different way? (I want to know if I'm right, english isn'T my main language.)

"Because I represent each of the lives you turned upside down," the destroyed crown answered. "Every piece of me represents a pony you terrorized during the attack on Canterlot. I may just be a crown created for the Friendship Festival, but I am much more than you seek."

oh oh, that could be difficult to like, but I give it a chance. Sometimes I prefer it simple instead of something on (Charles Dickens' Weihnachtsgeschichte) Ebenezer Scrooge level, where the guy get'S visited by ghost that want to help him to turn his life around.

I'm just not a huge fan of those mystical ghost things till now, that probably would do something nasty if you don't listen to them. I just hope Tempest is staying Tempest, I hate it if they always try to change the main char 100% and if her personality would turn into something like Rariy, Fluttershy or apologetic Starlight. I like them all in their own way, but Starlight tries to hard in the series sometimes I think. (at least if I remember it right).

"You know very well that relationships cannot be mended by magic alone. Even with my love magic, it won't be so easily fixed."

and I believe simply using a spell to make them happy would not be the right thing to do anyway.

"Yes, but she only did it out of orders from the Storm King himself. We need to dig deeper into Tempest's dreams and that way, we can start to piece together the events that led to this moment."

or you could talk to her, at least trying it or asking for permission to do that.

Since I always say that if we speak about human, I'm not sure if I can say that about the ponies too, but I always think they should have a say in the matter. Often Luna is telling others about stuff that I would consider to be privat and while being the princess of the night (dreams and everything), I don't think that should mean she kind of owns the dreams of everyone, as if it would be there fault to dream in her world/realm or whatever.

Uh, maybe Twilight should tell Luna that she's having Tempest go to therapy first? Clearly the princesses need clearer channels of communication here if they don't want to unintentionally sabotage their shared objective.

8494184 Good idea. I'll put something like that in the next chapter.

8494447 Luna should also at least wait and consult Tempest before she considers entering her dreams. This isn't like comforting a pony who's having a nightmare, Luna is actively seeking to intrude in a very private part of a pony's mind, and without any indication that her help is needed.

"These ponies look like they want to harm Tempest. We should place a protection spell around us."

Not sure how many she can take on, but she probably could still defend herself, then again she might not want to give them any more reason to hate her.

They'll settle for blood which is not what I want and certainly not what my fellow princesses want."

I admit this would be more than a fair treatment,.....I mean that it would be to much, in chase I said the opposite.

"You know, Luna, as much as your intentions may seem," cautioned Celestia. "I don't think it's a good idea to help Tempest by barging in her private matters. We need to wait until Twilight shares her thoughts about it."

"But, Celestia, why?" remarked Luna, suddenly feeling stabbed in the back. "Why would say such a thing?"

"Because I know that it is wrong unless it is for a good reason. The last thing I want us to do is to cause Fizzlepop any more damages to her psyche."

Thank you, even if I'm not sure Celestia means it for the same reason I had for that. I like that they respect their privacy and maybe they should write a letter to Tempest about it, at least asking to vistig her or to supervise her dream to help her to prevent further damage.

Thank you again, I think if she would have done it anyway I would have liked it because of this and Celestia would probably be angry with her afterwards, scolding her a bit.

Good, glad Celestia talked some sense into Luna for the time being.

"LIES!" shouted a member of the angry crowd.

And just for that, I have nothing but apathy for those ponies.

I think it's best if Tempest was secretly moved somewhere where ponies wouldn't have easy access to her and didn't know much about her.

Nice chapter.

I guess she had much bottled up and despite her being used to be strong willed, woking for the stormking had to be a small trauma or she is affraid of what she is know.

Technically, Scootaloo had nightmares on the camping trip PRIOR to the one to Winsome Falls. :twistnerd:

Jeez, even Applejack? I can't say I blame her, though.

Wasn't the last part like a repeat of the other chapter? Either that or I already had read a similar story.
However I like to think, that I'm finally able to reconize them instead of mistaken one for another

Could someone please silence those ponies!

I don't think Twilight would just blast ponies away, that's more Starlight's territory. :twilightoops:

these mob ponies should know that there's a difference between justice and having the mentality of the Beauty and The Beast mob

"There are ways of dealing with frustration, Tempest," sighed Sweetheart. "But what you did was not the right way. I need you to ask yourself a question, Tempest. Had you not joined the Storm King, what would you have done to deal with your issues?"

okay I admit this is pretty easy to notice that it wasn'T okay what she did. but as far as I know a therapist doesn'T exactly speak about their own opinion.
It wasn't to much, but I expected Sweetheart to tell her how she could redeem herself instead of just saying that it was the worst thing and if Tempest thinks it felt good at first then she could be right, just right now she feels bad since she wanted to change and I guess with that comes the knowledge of what she did. (and the feelings)

I kind of like what Twilight did there, she helped them not to hurt themself and probably shocked them enough to stop for the moment.

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