The Hunt

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Sirens are natural predators. Sleek, powerful, and cunning, once something is in their proverbial sights, its life can be measured in seconds. Most of the time they prey on fish or seals, but sometimes they like to stalk more exotic fare...

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 21 )

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LunaFan183

LunaFan183 #1 · Oct 1st, 2017 · 3 · ·

AWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! 100/10

HIEfan

HIEfan #2 · Oct 1st, 2017 · · ·

A really sweet fic, i do hope you will write a fic of how this precious couple met for the first time.

Pony_Person_123

Pony_Person_123 #3 · Oct 1st, 2017 · · ·

8459478
What they said.

I love this!!!

Bryan Luna

Bryan Luna #4 · Oct 2nd, 2017 · 1 · ·

Besides, it was rather rude to eat your own husband.

yes that would be rude alright. And this little tale has me wondering why we're not seeing more siren O.C.s. Yours is only the second I've seen.

Flint-Lock

Flint-Lock #5 · Oct 2nd, 2017 · · ·

8461015

You got me.

Bryan Luna

Bryan Luna #6 · Oct 2nd, 2017 · · ·

8461028
Right?

Angellove

Angellove #7 · Oct 3rd, 2017 · · ·

Can I have more plz, if that ok whit you?

WhoNeedsAUsername

WhoNeedsAUsername #8 · Oct 3rd, 2017 · · ·

She knows this type. They were newcomers to the Great Rock- “Hyoo-mans” was what they called themselves- visitors from a world much different than her own, incapable of using magic of any kind. Even with this crippling disability, they somehow managed to claw their way to the top of their world’s food chain.

“Hyoo-mans”... “HYOO-MANS”! memeguy.com/photos/images/taking-wat-lady-to-a-whole-new-level-144883.gif

Dreams of Ponies

Dreams of Ponies #9 · Oct 5th, 2017 · · ·

This review is brought to you by the group, "A for Effort."
Name of Story: The Hunt

Total score out of 10: 7.0

Been a while since I've passed a story. Good on you, bud

Pros: Very, very good visualizations, particularly at the beginning. It never got too in my face with descriptions, but still managed to create a pretty picture for me.

The character interactions, while a little cheesy, didn't feel forced or stilted. The genuine affection made me smile, and with a notable absence of nausea

The story idea seems pretty unique. I don't recall too many human and siren stories out there, so this one stands out.

Cons: It was really only two primary issues that prevented your story from scoring higher.

Technical: While your spelling was on point, there were still grammatical issues were sprinkled throughout. The overuse of colons and at least one incorrect use of a semicolon were the biggest ones; I also spotted a missing period at the end of a paragraph.

Story: This opening scene and conversation are cute and enjoyable. They make for a good start of a story, and don't quite tell a story on their own. We're given background exposition as this is some time after they've met/gotten married, and I am indeed curious. Unfortunately, there's no continuation and I'm not given enough time to truly fall in love with these characters. There's just... not enough story in this story.

To summarize: This is a cute read with two interesting characters. The imagery is fluid, though the grammar needs a little comb over. A good potential start into what could be a fantastic love story with a Romeo and Juliet styling

Flint-Lock

Flint-Lock #10 · Oct 5th, 2017 · · ·

8467621
Thank you very much!

WannaFlugelHorn

WannaFlugelHorn #11 · Oct 21st, 2017 · · ·

This story was so cute! I love it! There were a few things that needed to be fixed, though. I'll show you the origanal sentence, then below I'll put what to change:

Shei is a born predator.
Replace 'Shei' with 'she'.

Prey included
Add a period at the end of the sentence.

“You know me?”
I'd recommenced replacing the question mark with a period or an exclamation mark.

Humans, so warm, so cuddly…
Those '...' should look like this 'cuddly . . .'

“Last one home is a lazy pup.”
I'd recommend changing this period to an exclamation point.

Was that helpful? And great story!

Flint-Lock