• Member Since 16th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen Apr 10th, 2014

lolapersonmaybe


Check my deviantART at perseveringrose.deviantart.com... I know I only have 1 clopfic up right now, but that's the only one I'll ever do, okay? Well, maaaaaaybe... (;

Comments ( 19 )

:derpytongue2: quite the enjoyable read madame. and i dont even like clop

and I didn't even read this but you get the thumbs up anyway :moustache:

I have no idea how fluttershy can still be freaking adorable while having sex

922127 Somewhat defeats the point of the thumbs up, dont'cha think?

Hmm yes, Quite the clop you have here. I give you a moustache :moustache:

931535
not really. The author is a friend of mine so she gets upvotes no matter what

932749 Again, defeats the point of the thumbs up. It's there to give the author an estimate of how well liked their fic is, not how well liked they are. But w/e, it's no biggie.

933530 perhaps he liked the writing? friendship aside, it's an endorsement. you can be a friend and still like someone's work. but anyways. xD

933575 He made it pretty clear that he wasn't upvoting for the writing: he stated that he didn't even read it. Of course you can be a friend and still like someone's work, but mindlessly endorsing their every project with no constructive criticism isn't going to help anyone.

And by the by, I did enjoy this fic. You seem to put a lot more thought into the story and motivations of the characters than the writers of most clopfics, and Celestia knows we need some more of that around here. But I personally would have expounded upon the situation somewhat, gone into a little more depth with regards to the reasons behind the ship.

But thats just me:derpytongue2: Congrats on a very nice piece of writing :pinkiehappy:

933628 well, thank you for your feedback, really (: this was the first... fanfic, and clopfic, that i've ever written, so i just kinda... wrote it in an hour or so total and ran away from it xD i'll keep that in mind for future stories! :raritywink:

933690 Seems like you have the right idea in mind, so keep it up! Hope to see more :yay:

Not bad a pretty good fic..... Much better then your average clop fic. However I see that you did make some mistakes that most other clop fic artist do.
you jumped too quickly into the clop.....Now thats not exactly a bad thing clop being effectively porn and all however If you would have added more to the
fluttershy having feelings for pinkie pie and not knowing how to tell her and then after a more in character kinda way they expressed they both had feelings and all that stuff then get into the clop part it would have been better. Now thats just my opinion but it would be nice to see some more clop fics that are like
a really good story with all the sex instead of just your general I love you wow you love me lets go have sex clop fic. Now finally it seems like you also did
what most clop fic artist do as well and decided to completely ignore the characters personality. Fluttershy wouldnt have probably been as leading or as
open to it at first while Pinkie Pie probably would have. Now all these things are my opinions and I still enjoyed this fic. I was just giving some suggestions
as to how to mabye improve your stories a bit more. Im looking foward to more of your stories and I cant wait to see how you write them!

A fellow fanfic author ^-^:scootangel:

935154 thank you for your feedback! typically, i write more... serious, i suppose, works, so this was hard. most clopfics aren't very long, and i didn't want those, well, SEARCHING just for the clop aspect to get bored and leave...? i really didn't feel like spending too long on the development, since this was supposed to be just a test, really. but thank you for the feedback, more to come! ^w^

yup! and ive been considering mabye writing a clopfic as well but its just to idk its like you have to make it a straight forward porno with no story or else
everyone throws a fit. I for one couldnt do that cause I care too much about character personality and story telling for me to do that and it would require alot more effort then id like to spend on a clop fic.....also if you would like to look at my story then its called a rainbow in the dark! lol dont read the other one tho cause it was failed story that got too much hate :/:twilightsmile:

This was pretty neat, a good beginning. I would have spent more time describing her inner emotions during the act, as it is first person, as her first orgasm almost didn't register with me. It don't need to be expanded, but a simple line describing what it feels like in first person is enough to signal the reader what is going on.
I like your take on Fluttershy and Pinkie here, pretty cute stuff. Good job!

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