• Published 2nd Oct 2017
  • 1,111 Views, 14 Comments

Cornholio4's MLP: the Movie - cornholio4

A retelling of the Mane Six as they journey for help against the Storm King!

  • ...


Once Upon a Time

in the lands south of Equestria....

There lived a race of Storm creatures, named as such due to their tenacity the o storm through targets. They had access to advanced technological airships which they used to attack and plunder all lands they came across....

They were lead by a mighty warlord, a ruthless warrior who went by the Storm King, under his leadership they conquered various lands and laid waste to a dozen more

The Storm King was after conquest of the entire world and was interested in finding magical artefacts, hoping to find the one and the magic that would make him strong enough to do just that......

10 years ago.....

Klugetown, a dark dirty mountain town built around the skeleton of a dragon that was impaled upon the mountain a thousand years. A place where pickpockets, thieves and conmen roamed free and the only law came from the local crime bosses.

It was a day just like any other where the citizens went along their way, usually trying not to get robbed or doing the robbing. Then suddenly the sky began filling with sky skiffs or black and purple. The citizens grew concerned and began running to the inside of their homes and the stores.

As the skiffs landed out came hordes of Storm creatures, large strong bulky creatures with black armor (which had two lined light blue symbols somewhere), masks and a lot of white fur. They then began trashing windows and stalls in search of something.

The main skiff landed and out with his hands behind his back and a stern face was a bipedal creature larger than the others. He had black gauntlets, black short sleeved armor with the symbol of the army on it, grey skin which could be seen on his face, claws and feet and he had a tail.

A brave and foolish Minotaur came up to the creature smirking. "So you are the one they call the Storm King? Not exactly impressive I must say, I bet I can kick your butt and maybe I should take that crown for myself and use your pelt for a new fur coat?" The Minotaur laughed out loud looking at the creature known as the Storm King whose face and demeanour had not changed.

The citizens gasped at the foolishness of the Minotaur and the Storm creatures went to protect their king. The Strom King put up a hand to stop his army from interfering.

The Minotaur went to charge at him with his fists but effortless the Storm King caught them and crushed them with his claws. The Minotaur began screaming which went worse as the Storm King pulled his arms to his back painfully.

The Strom king then kicked him to the ground and then used his claws to rip of the Minotaur' horns right off.

"Take him inside, perhaps twenty years in our dungeon will teach him humility, if not then will I am sure I have a place for a stuffed Minotaur..." The Storm King ordered his troops and they nodded dragging him to one of their skiffs.

"Anyone else feeling brave?" the Storm King asked in a polite tone looking around and was met with terrified stares.

"Sorry about the mess me and my soldiers are making here, you can bill me later... I will probably not bother to pay it but you can still bill me!" The Storm King told the citizens around him in a pleasant tone.

The Storm King looked around and grinned when he spotted brown robed creature rushing into a wooden hut.

The creature once he rushed inside his home took off his robe to show he was a brown furred gargoyle with a long beard, golden crown, golden belt, green sleeveless tunic and a brown beard with grey aged lines.

He dug up a long box as the Storm King kicked his door open. "Well if it isn't the legendary Scorpan, the one who long ago invaded Equestria with his brother Tirek only to turn his back on him for the stupid ponies..." the Storm King asked with a smirk as he went inside.

Scorpan glared at the Storm King as he charged at the Storm King only to be tossed aside effortlessly. "Disappointing, I expected something better from Scorpan and I think the Minotaur outside was stronger. I guess the years have not been kind to you or your time with the ponies made you weak..." the Storm King told Scorpan with a bored drawl.

He opened the box and opened it up to reveal a black staff with a light blue gem in the middle of it. He lifted it up in awe as he felt the electricity within it. He lifted it to the air as he caused a huge electrical storm which blasted the huts to bits and creature a huge storm cloud which left his soldiers in awe.

"The Staff of Sacanas, said to create and control storm clouds better than any Pegasus... I desired it so much I made sure that my armor would match it... Long have I searched for it, try to find where Starswirl the Bearded hid it. It was only recently did I get my hands on a journal of his saying he gave it to you..." The Storm King said in awe.

"It was a token of friendship..." Scorpan muttered at the Storm King defiantly. The Storm King then looked at him annoyed.

"Friendship, what a waste of time! Friends are people who take your time away from you and make you compromise your goals, if you did not waste your time with friendship then you and Tirek would become legendary conquerors of Equestria. Friendship allowed you to betray your own brother and your own goals and self respect. You threw it all away for... friendship!" The Storm King told him sneering the last word.

"With this I am truly the Storm King! I will use this to conquer the world and then I will become the legend you were meant to be!" the Storm King told him shouting to the heavens. The Storm King then summoned his soldiers to him.

"Well good job guys, let's reward another successful mission by going out for a bite." The Storm King told his troops with a cheery tone as he then spotted a Klugetown Friend Cockatrice restaurant.

"Who is up for some KFC? Afterwords we can put the Staff to use by invading the Hippogriff Kingdom!" the Storm King asked with cheers from his troops. They then marched to the restaurant leaving Scorpan trying to get himself up from his spot.

"Your desire for power and conquest as your little understanding of friendship shall be your undoing Storm King..." Scorpan muttered as he made plans to try and get his hut rebuilt.

But now the Storm King had the Staff of Sacanas and there would be dark times ahead...

Author's Note:

Hope you read and review and enjoy!mit may take a while for me to update this, especially since the movie comes out on the 20th here in the uk but is till have my own ideas for hwo these versions of events will play out.

Comments ( 14 )

This seems promising.

I like how the opening is far different from the original. I'm not saying anything more than that since you haven't seen it yet but I really like what your going with. Though there is an online leak version out there you could use to help with your story if you want. At the same time, you really should wait for the official theater release as well; Honestly its up to you. I'm only saying in case you running into writing problems/if you get stuck. Overall, looking forward to more!

I have since seen the movie in an early preview screening and I have the story of the movie book to help

Great, cannot wait for the next chapter!

Why was this cancelled?

It's not, I may get back to it sometime

I like how it starting I like to make a few suggestion if you don't mind me Pitching. But please improve the introduction to the mane six and equestria as if The audience didn't know about the series. I like to believe this is to introduced new audience to MLP:FIM series. Also try explain some why some the gaurds aren't their.

Also you could slight explain the absent of characters: Shining armour,Flurry heart,Discord to name a few.

I like you to make some extra lyrics "We Got this together" for fluttershy. I hope you have her and Applejack contribute better that what they portray in the film. What I meant was They felt unnecessary to the story, Only Rarity,Rainbow Dash and Pinkie pie was the only one able to get the new character to join them instead of most of them showing why they should help them. I hope you plan to have a small scene with both Applejack and Fluttershy having arc to progress the story.

I'm not expecting too much just some improvement along with what they plan in the storyboard. I like the film just it need just a little more push to make it really the best.This should be the Mane six using their friendship we Fans knew from the series to touch the heart of not only the new character but the new audience this film is introducing them too.

Did you knew they original going to have the Missing brother of Princess Celestia and Luna called "Brother Cosmos" before he became Tempest Shadow?

Also I hope it involve the storm monster that the Storm King was originally suppose to be that would make this an awesome climax Along with 'You know what" in the climax battle from "The Art Of My Little Pony The Movie".

I will try and make things better

For copyright reasons and because I have zero talent as a lyricist I won't be including the lyrics

And yes I have the art book and plan to be drawing ideas from it


I understand about the song. All you can do is try your best and make it something you and other might wanted to see.

And yes I have the art book and plan to be drawing ideas from it

Yes i know which make it all the more exciting that you doing that. I was going to do a retelling using that book too.

Well she(tempest shadow) have that...(Clear throat)uhm "Horn saber"from the book? or those mud creatures?

what made me disappointed was the hype because the crew of the film describe this to be "Like The Lord Of The Rings but about pony". Here the video is from is foreign but in eng sub Back when the film was originally titled "Friendship Adventure/Adventure Friendship":http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x48nq6b
that led me to have a huge mindset ,but i knew it was still going be set for kids just that it added some dark element and heartfelt story that anyone could relate to getting past the fantasy element. So yeah it was a little disappointing when i saw it.

This story is really good so far. Are you going to continue it? I really like to see where it goes:pinkiehappy:

I've been waiting for the past few months. When will you have that next chapter posted?

Will you finish it before the show ends

Not sure if I will continue it to be honest

Login or register to comment