Your roommate, Filly Anon, clogs the toilet. Repeatedly. Not out of malice, but just because she's an equine.
While you're plunging it for the umpteenth time, she explains the circle of life as earth ponies understand it.
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 2nd Nov, 2012
- offline last seen 38 minutes ago
Admiral Biscuit
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Admiral Biscuit
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Awww. She's trouble but she's your little cuddly bit of trouble.
O my this is so good.
love it.
why
8879816
images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/81Zglq6MTLL.jpg
Eh, I dunno, seems like a load of crap to me.
Oh man pacing/tempo of this was great.
Waste was never so funny and cute.
OK you have reached a new level of shit posting !
ok I'll be a the bad guy : GUARDS! SEIZE HIM!
I can't get over the cover art.
Are you commissioning cover art at this point?
Well, you did made research about how much equine poop every day. Better put that knowledge to good use.
Also congrat! It is now your second literal shit posting
One day that filly will be the end of you, but being that adorable you might even forgive -that-
toilet auger
Etherea goes weirdly pale and splutters, sticking her tongue out of an open-mouthed grimace. "Euuuuugh!"
8879798
As long as she stays out of the Tide Pods and doesn't catch any more Pokemon, things will work out okay.
8879811
8879834
It is!
More than your average human toilet can handle, in fact!
8879838
Thanks!
It just goes to show that everything that ponies do is cute.
8879882
I have.
Because I can.
You'll never take me alive, coppers!
8879916
It's just the best, isn't it?
Artists of the fandom seldom disappoint.
8879947
Nope! Found it on Derpibooru!
8879961
Agreed, and when I did that, this was one of the stories I did it for. Fair warning: it's not the only one.
Well, that kind of depends on how you count. Could be the third.
8879967
Honestly, if I've got to go, at the
handshooves of an adorable green filly is as good a way as any.8880056
More like toilet mortar at this point.
Ponies poop a lot.
8880068
Alex should buy her a copy of Everybody Poops.
Although he doesn't seem like the kind of guy who would do that.
And she is a princess, and we all know that Princesses Don't Potty.
You Americans and your siphon flush toilets. So quick to clog, so wasteful of water. An Aussie washdown style toilet could cope with a pony’s worst.
He got pony cuddles, which is of course a win. Pony life philosophy is a bonus.
8880220 Oh? And yet... I'm thinking that in Australia there maybe should be one button for high-pressure spider removal – complete with a warning countdown to allow time to back away – and another button for "normal" use. Hilarity ensues when the wrong button is selected for "normal"...
8880220
Washdown toilets are absolute standard in Europe too. To clog this, situation must be really extreme.
Over last winter, my floordrain clogged and overflowed twice, spattering my laundry room with poopwater. It wouldn't be so bad except for the bleach stains in my pants from cleaning the place up. I've tried to redye them with mixed success.
It turned out to be tree roots in the pipe.
8880146
I'll say pre-emptively then: Dammit Admiral
8880220
The secret seems to be those bigger pipes. I'm sure bigger pipes combined with a syphon flush would also work for some of their claims. But it begs the question: what the heck are you Aussies eating that necessitates a 4" toilet pipe?!
8880220
I watched the video...rolling that baseball through the trap...ouch...
Uhhh... the cover art is very cute, but she is shitting through her tail...
8880220
Now I feel that I might need to get some actual horseapples and experiment. Probably for the best that I don't.
8880268
So basically, one of these:
8880360
She is a pony, and they're champion poopers. Plus, here in the US, we don't use those fancy toilets.
8880493
I think you're going to be hard pressed to get bleach stains out of clothes. I've got a few darker colored clothes that got bleach stains on them, and I don't think I'll ever get them out.
Which reminds me, I've really got to figure out for absolute certain where my septic tank is. There are a few trees I've got that might be an issue if they get much bigger. . .
8880623
8881411
And that is in fact something that I considered before choosing it in favor of this one:
derpicdn.net/img/view/2017/5/28/1448137__artist+needed_safe_oc_oc-colon-filly+anon_oc+only_but+why_female_filly_pony_solo_the+thinker_toilet.png And given her slightly philosophical bent in this story, that would have been appropriate.
Tipping the scales in the other direction were that I'd used the first one before (in a story, rather than as coverart), and that if anybody complained that the image was offensive, I could also point out that with her tail where it is, she can't be doing anything other than sitting there, assuming that ponies have any kind of remotely realistic anatomy.
I was wondering how long it would be before somebody noticed.
8881754
That is because there is no stain to remove. Bleach has removed the dye that was there.
8881763
Honnestly, I thought she looked like she had been dumped in the toilet by someone and was very confused about it.
And that you just used it 'cause she was there and so was the toilet, without it being offensive.
8881735 Um, noooooooo, but introducing plasma into the mix is a great idea for destroying deadly Australian spiders (a.k.a. Australian spiders). It might be better alternative to nuking the site from orbit, since there's a good chance of leaving people in place. And homes, and city infrastructure.
8880651
What I don't get is why you started using Syphon in the US. Washdown is the older and simplier design.
YES their is more likely a need to clean poo that stuck to the toilet bowl then a Syphon toilet...
But if I had the choice between a little bit of scrubbing or having to punge my toilet occationally (or worse till call a plumber) because of a narrow pipe, I know which I would choose.
8881748
But...but...but...its the older and simpler design. The reason the Syphon toilet was invented was to make sure you didn't have to clean anything that could get stuck to the side of the bowl off. Yours is the fancy toilet, and naturally has more issues.
(And by that logic, god knows how many issues those Japanese toilets have. *laughs*)
8880651
Easy....so Spiders can't grab the sides during a flush.
What a shitty story....
It's an interesting question: How does the much more varied, presumably less grass-intense diet of Equestrian ponies alter their bowel movements? Especially one living with a second-person protagonist, who's presumably trying to ply her with Froot Loops and the like.
In any case, a very believable take on the earth pony attitude towards fibrous nuggets. Certainly puts the "Mane Six help at Sweet Apple Acres" episodes in a different light. (Protip for humans in Equestria: Make sure Applejack's washed her hooves recently.)
8881817
Not all of it, weirdly enough (black clothes with maroon splatters, and bluejeans with off-white spots). I suppose it depends on what's in the dye and how strong the bleach is.
It still probably makes more sense to call it a stain rather than an unstain.
8881830
It's apparently based off a cat image where the cat's just chilling like that with a 'what?' look on his face.
i.imgur.com/KU065mM.jpg
The 'without being offensive' part was the most important. And I still asked a mod before I used it.
8882140
Yeah, it's not quite the same thing, but it was the only YouTube video I could find that included the plasma toilet.
When I heard about it, I imagined the plasma happening closer to the bowl. I suppose it makes sense to put it farther away.
8882819
Well, that's just dumb of us, then. We should go to the other style.
Yeah, I'd hate to think what might happen if one of those Japanese toilets went rogue while you were using it.
8883458
The funny thing is, this isn't the first story I've written that that's a compliment.
pbs.twimg.com/media/DFk-zlSXYAA3BHx.jpg
8886839
That really depends on headcanon. If their diet is still mostly pasture grasses and the like (maybe chopped up into hayburger form or hay fries or whatever), it's probably very much like their Equine ancestors. If their digestive system is still Equine, but in the case of ponies like Anon Filly they're eating human food on Earth . . . well, it'll probably be fatal to her in somewhat short order (unlike goats, IRL horses can't eat practically anything). She'd either be suffering from the Trots or colic.
If, over time, their diet has evolved from raw grasses to human-like cooked foods, she'll presumably poop more like a human, both in terms of quantity and consistency--maybe a little bit more because she's likely to get most of her nutrients from plants rather than high-protein sources like meat.
I don't know if this has been done in a story ever, but being super-realistic, changing from a proper equine diet to a human diet would cause a pony all sorts of digestive issues, most of them not good.
It just seems like the Earth Pony way, especially if they have some process to make sure that various diseases aren't spread along with the manure.
And speaking of that, it doesn't seem to come up in stories all that much, but if non-unicorns really do do lots of things with their front hooves, they probably do wash them a lot. Or else they're just more naturally resistant to various diseases. I could do some more research and find out how people who don't have arms (and do lots of that kind of thing with their feet) feel about foot hygiene, since it's probably the closest analogue.