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I'm a pegasus and I can't fly.
It wasn't always like this. When I was younger, it only mattered as much as I let it. Now it's like the whole world is out to get me.
I'll just have to try harder. I just have to try... and try again.
An experimental entry in the Fall 2017 CuddleFic Contest.
Pre-read by B_25.
Edited by The Abyss and Dreams of Ponies.
Cover art by viwrastupr on Deviantart.
Featured: 11/19/17 - 11/20/17.
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So THIS is the fic you were talking about.
I love it, even though I already had some clue about the ending, the eventual uplifting payoff was brilliant and truly worth all the angsty, downbeat moments getting there. I also enjoyed how you described the sterility of the hospital backdrop, and the way you wrote Scootaloo's inner demons really bought home the full range of the emotional struggle she was going through.
An easy fave for me.
8560819
I commend you on your fast reading my dude, and I appreciate it.
can someone find those ninja's and tell them we have enough onions please
8560834
I'm a pretty good speedreader. The only time I paused was right at the end... OH THE FEELS!!
Keep up the excellent work.
8560853
Good story, you reall showed how some problems can tear our nerves apart. But still, there is almawys a way to solve it. I'M pretty sure we will see her flying one day in the show.
Sniffles Beautiful... Just beautiful... All of that, worth it for the payoff.
Another contest entry eh? Good luck man. I enjoyed Eat the Dirt quite a lot, so I'm looking forward to reading this one!
AAIQU
OHHHHH MY GOD ITS BEAUTIFUL!! Great job man, great job.
Fantastic story, dude. I was wondering when you were gonna post this.
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8560925
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8560960
Thank you!
8560961
You're welcome!
8560961
No, thank YOU!
8560961
No, I say thank you sir!
I'll be sad (and sympathetic
) if this doesn't win the contest. Good read!
8561090
I'm actually not really expecting this contest entry to place anywhere, as I didn't follow the prompt as well as I could have.
Cuddling stuff just isn't my shtick, so I wrote something a little more my style.
oh look, and just today i was wondering about you.
It's time to bake some tears i guess. hang in there, i'll be back with my post-read comment.
Post-read comment:
Dawwww that was sweet
.
Is normal to feel hate upon myself for not crying because of this?
Anyway this was a good read and I liked the way you portrayed scootalo from the first person perspective.
8561142
Thanks.
Aww.
👌
8561337
Do or do not, there is no try.
A bit quick resolved, cute and good though.
8562231
Danke
She's still just a land flyer. But Parental Glideance showed her finding another way to get into the air.
Isn't the Abyss also one of the judges? I'm sure he has enough integrity to make a impartial judgement on the contest, but that won't stop people from wondering.
8573156
In regards to what?
8573164 In the contest judging panel:
Followed by:
Now one of the judges having a vested interest in one of the contest's entries. At the very least, he'll have had to have paid more attention to this story than the others, and it'd be shocking if that didn't have an impact on his decision on at least the subconscious level. I'm sure he's probably a good guy and all, but forgive me if that won't look fishy.
8573622
That’s my fault, to be honest. When I submitted this to the contest, I forgot he was a judge. He actually started editing the first half of the story before the contest was even made, and I adjusted the story to fit the prompt better.
Even though it’s technically not against the rules for him to help me, I could see why this could exclude me from the competition.
8573745
It won't, I'm sure. It's a good story and I do think it would've placed regardless. I was just giving you a heads up if the other contestants start getting antsy about it. I have no personal stake in the matter and I do honestly wish you the best of luck.
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8573156
I edited this for him like, two/three months ago or something crazy like that. He took a very long time in publishing this, and I don't think I became a judge before I edited this for him. With that being said, I am harsh on all stories when it comes to judging. Jack's story will not be an exception to that.
Everyone has a fair chance at winning.
8588683
Honestly? This story deserves to place and you have a reputation for honesty. Was just pointing out how fishy it looked from the outside.
Wonderful work as always Jack
I once said that I believe that the dark and sad tags are your forte, and this story just strengthens my believe in that.
You did an amazing job at conveying scootalo's feelings and perfectly illustrated just how powerful the first person perspective can be.
Scoots is shown to have all the emotions one would expect her to have in this situation, and all of them were delivered in not only a believable fashion, but in one that took the reader along for the ride and almost makes him go through the same emotional struggle.
Many of her feelings are incredibly relatable and the whole atmosphere is crafted in a way which masterfully highlights her inner turmoil.
I also adore the way you included RD. RD/Scoots sisterlike relation is already one of my favourite topics, and this story has one of the best takes on it I have read so far.
RD is entirely believable, while showing her more caring side which sometimes breaks through her cool facade.
I also quite liked the whole Scooter thing, as it helped to further show Scootalo's frustration.
And that sentence you finished with and having her Scooter be restored is honestly genius.
Furthermore, this story is a perfect example of how sad and uplifting are two genres that can go together exceptionally well, if executed correctly. Which you more than managed to do.
10/10 would fave again.
8599818
I cannot take credit for that one. That was my editor, Dreams of Ponies.
But thank you once again for the comment. It's always a pleasure to read them.
WOW its really well written and I love the ending 300+ stars, has anybody made like a comic reading/ audio drama type thing of this? Cause I totally will
8601973
Not as far as I'm aware. Thank you.
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