The Cuddle Dungeon

by Penalt

Doze

Princess Celestia, Diarch of the Sun, was having a wonderful dream of swimming through a buoyant warm ocean. She crested wave after wave, pushing aside the occasional pieces of flotsam and jetsam without a care in the world. She paused for a moment, just floating on that endless ocean and taking in the endless horizon and thinking how nice it was to be able to not have to worry about any crises. No Discord, no Tirek, no yak diplomacy, no Twilight bothering her with endless friendship letters. Just her, the ocean and the waves.

Princess Luna walked into the intimate dining room she shared with her sister for their morning and evening meals. As she entered the room, she paused and looked at her sister in surprise. There was Celestia, face down in a bowl of mushroom soup with the occasional bubble blowing out from the side of her mouth. Luna noted with approval that somepony had made sure her sister’s nose was above the level of the soup so that Celestia could breathe.

With loving care and a gentle touch the Night Princess lifted her sister’s head out of the soup, and after a quick clean off with a cloth, placed it onto a small cushion to one side of the soup. Luna looked at her sister with a sad smile as she began to eat her own soup and Celestia’s gentle snores began to fill the room. Behind her, Luna heard the door to the small dining room open.

“Hello Kibitz,” Luna said, as she recognized the hoof falls behind her. “How long has she been out?”

“Since roughly ten minutes before you came in,” Celestia’s majordomo answered. “I made sure she could breathe, but I thought it best not to try to wake her.”

“Right now you couldn’t wake her with a full orchestra, a yak stampede or a changeling invasion,” Luna said, dryly. “You might remember how deeply I sleep when I am tired. Celestia is even worse.”

“In regards to that, your Highness,” Kibitz said in that insistent formal voice of his that Luna hated so much. “Is there anything you could possibly do to get her to take a break?”

“I’d love to, Kibitz,” Luna said in frustration as she crunched down on a toasted bagel, “but you know how she feels that she is ultimately responsible for everything that happens in Equestria. Between ruling, her court, the School for Gifted Unicorns, her diplomatic work, as well as helping out both Twilight and Cadance, I’m amazed all those things are done by her as well as they are.”

“The Princess was good about keeping things balanced while you were...away,” Kibitz said, diplomatically. “But the years since your return have been so active and she has been so busy...” He trailed off, shrugging his shoulders. Luna took in her sister’s sleeping form while she absorbed the majordomo’s words and did nothing but think for several minutes, testing even his supreme patience.

“Kibitz,” Luna said, startling the unicorn as she magically opened the door that lead out to her sister’s room. “I need you to do a research project for me, and I need it done within the next couple of days.”

“Certainly, Princess,” Kibitz said, motioning for one of the maids to come in and begin clearing away the dishes. “What is the project?”

“First, I need you to find out when was the last time my sister took any sort of extended break,” Luna said, as she began to gently lift Celestia in her magic and Kibitz made a note of the request. “Second, I need to you check on the laws of what happens if at any point Celestia is rendered incapable of governing.” Kibitz looked up from his notes in shock, stared at Luna for a few moments, and then nodded in understanding as he realized what the Lunar Diarch was considering.

Luna carried her somnolent sister to her room and tucked Celestia into bed, giving her a kiss on the forehead as she drew up the covers. Dimming the lights, a troubled princess left Celestia to her sleep, while she made plans of her own that she would rather not.

The next day passed much as the day before had, with the exception of the argument Luna and Celestia had over the breakfast table.

“Sister, you have to rest, take a few days off,” Luna had pleaded with her sister over waffles. “Just a couple of weeks, even a few days. You need to take a break.”

“Nonsense, Luna,” Celestia had replied over a cup of ginseng tea. “I’m perfectly fine. Yes, I had an unexpected nap yesterday, but it was at the end of the day and so no harm was done.”

“Celestia, you could have drowned in your soup!” Luna shouted. “If Kibitz hadn’t made sure you could breathe, I could have lost you only a short time after we found each other again.”

“Oh, Luna,” Celestia had said with a smile, as she patted her sister’s hoof. “There’s no need to be so dramatic. I’ll be fine. I just need to pace myself a bit better.” The solar alicorn looked at Luna for a few more moments then turned back to her waffles and Luna could see that her sister had dismissed her concerns. Sighing, she went back to her own meal, hoping Kibitz’s research would find a way out for them.

That evening Luna woke and walked into the dining room finding Celestia once again asleep at the table, her meal barely even touched. Luna’s heart fell as she realized nothing had changed, and nothing she had said to her sister that morning had changed a thing. Her sister was still running herself into the ground and seemed determined to work herself into the grave. Kibitz appeared at the side of the despondent lunar princess.

“I’ve carried out the research you requested, your Highness,” Kibitz said in a soft voice. “Celestia’s last recorded break of more than one day was 847 years ago, when she took a week off and came back to Manehatten declaring independence and an invasion by the Griffon Kingdom.”

“If I recall the histories I have read of what happened during my absence, Equestria did not return to peace for nearly five years afterwards,” Luna said, pensively.

“Indeed,” Kibitz replied, “and I suspect, much as I believe you do, that the Princess blames herself for that time.”

“It is worse than that, faithful Kibitz,” Luna said, ears drooping. “Ever since then, my sister has been convinced that her presence is vital to the safety and well-being of Equestria. Nothing in the years since has changed her mind of that determination. Not my return, not the ascensions Cadance or Twilight, not the birth of Flurry Heart, nor even the befriending of Discord.”

“She thinks she is indispensable and that without her, Equestria will fall to ruin and decay,” Kibitz said in conclusion, sighing.

“Exactly Kibitz,” Luna said, ”and my sister is working herself into the ground because of it, not only that, but she seems incapable of seeing it for herself. You have looked into the laws I asked about?” Luna darted a look at her sister who slumbered on, giving no sign she was aware of the conversation.

“I have, your Highness,” Kibitz said, looking disturbed. “Princess, could we discuss this somewhere else please? I feel very uncomfortable talking about this right here, right now.” He gestured toward the soundly sleeping and snoring Celestia.

“This is one of the most secure rooms in the palace,” Luna said, waving a hoof. “Nopony can overhear us here and once again my sister sleeps like the dead. Tell me what you have learned, out with it.” Kibitz sighed once and nodded, the ends of his small mustache quivering.

“Princess Celestia can be declared unable to rule due to inability, by a majority of the nobility, or a majority opinion of medical ponies--” Kibitz paused, “or by yourself, your Highness.”

“Me?” Luna asked, surprised. “How is that possible?”

“Your sister never took you off the list of ponies she intended to act as a safeguard against any abuses she might be tempted to,” Kibitz said, in explanation. “I should also mention that after six months, by law, Celestia is to be re-examined by a Council of Regents to determine if she is able to resume command of the kingdom.” Luna sighed and grimaced.

“If it must be done,” Luna said, resolve firming, “best it twere done quickly before things get worse. Draw up the paperwork Kibitz, and bring it to me in the our dining room tomorrow morning, along with a list of names for the Regent’s Council.”

“Yes, your Highness,” said the clearly troubled unicorn. “What shall you be doing in the meantime?”

“I’m going to put my sister to bed, right now,” Luna said, her face wistful as it remembered simpler times. “Later tonight I will make arrangements for Mistress Cuddles to pick up Celestia in the morning, after breakfast.”

Luna could hear Kibitz suck in a breath through clenched teeth and she gave the usually unflappable pony a few moments to regain his center. Kibitz had earned those moments a thousand times over with his service to the sisters, and Luna waited calmly for the question she knew he was about to ask.

“Princess, are you sure?” Kibitz asked, respectful but clearly worried about Luna’s decision. “Once Mistress Cuddles gets her hooves on your sister...” his voice trailed off.

“She may never be able to let my sister go,” Luna said, nodding as she replied. “But my sister refuses to relax on her own and she is burning herself out. She won’t listen to any of us asking her, nay begging her, to take a break. So, until she learns to let herself relax and shift some of her load to others, Celestia shall be a captive of the Cuddle Dungeon.”

Author's Note:

So, this is my first story writing since my little meltdown as that thing I put in my blog doesn't really count. I'm not really sure how far I will go with this, just that I now consider myself to be getting back in the saddle. I will take my other stories off hiatus as I get to them. But for now,

Enjoy the Cuddle Dungeon.

Comments

[Raging Mouse]

Oh, a new story? Delightful.

I noticed one small thing, and I hope you don't mind if I point it out:

“Celestia, you could have drowned in your soup!” Luna shouted. “If Kibitz hadn’t of made sure you could breathe, I could have lost you only a short time after we found each other again.”

I think the "of" I bolded is superfluous.