• Member Since 1st Mar, 2016
  • offline last seen 8 hours ago

Dreadnought


There is nothing as liberating, or terrifying, as a blank page.

E
Source

When tragedy strikes, Rarity is left devastated. Not even her friends can pull her out of a deep depression. What will she do to make things right?
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Written for the Rarity Not Garbage contest under Barcast.
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My Little Pony and all rights belong to Hasbro.

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 36 )

Rarity I don't think bringing sweetie belle back from the dead is a good idea.

8450722
Be sure to check back tomorrow!

Dreadnought

This is looking really promising! Favoring this.

8450915
Thanks for pointing out my typo. I guess I didn't pick up on it because of the Philadelphia Phillies.

Dreadnought

8450924
Glad you like it. I am to please.

Dreadnought

Will we find out what happen? How did sweetie Bell die at the camp?

Can't wait to see more.

:raritystarry: "I'm BACK! but how? the Necromancer said a life for a life..."
:ajsleepy: "Spike did this".
:raritycry: "No it can't be , My Spikey Wikey?"
:unsuresweetie: "It's Okay sis, really it is, Quit with the dramatics."
:raritydespair: "But how? Life for a life..."
:moustache: "Simple math really"
:twilightsmile: "Dragons live for thousands of years unicorns not so much"
:rainbowlaugh: "Spike made a two fer one deal"
:moustache: "How's living for a few hundred and change?"
:raritystarry::pinkiecrazy::applejackconfused::twilightoops:
:trollestia: that's my boy...
:moustache: "you know how long it took to get back home...?"

orig00.deviantart.net/d68b/f/2017/211/1/9/needing_direction_by_hillbe-dbiabzf.jpg

8454249
an alternate of that would be celestia and luna, you know immortality limitless life energy.

It was alright. Don't have much else to say.

Although it bothers me that Spike completely disappeared in the last two chapters, not even being mentioned among the gathered friends. Especially since you'd expect him to feel a deep sense of guilt over helping Rarity seek the necromancer in the first place. Having that not even be mentioned is rather unsatisfying.

8454582
Hmm.... Well, he would take it pretty hard, so the others wouldn't want him in the boutique. As for the last chapter, I have only one thing to say. Be sure to take note, for this is probably the only time I'll ever say it, so be prepared: I made a mistake. There, I admit it, I'm human. Now that I've gotten that out of the way, I'll never admit to making a mistake for as long as I live.:eeyup:

Dreadnought

Geez, that was really good! From what I've learned, it's very difficult to make a quality, bittersweet story in only a few thousand words. But you have done a good job of it!

8454889

Mistakes are one thing. My point is that it feels like a plot thread was left without even being addressed, let alone resolved. Spike was the last one to see her alive, and yet we never even hear about how any of this has affected him. Had he not been in the previous chapter, it wouldn't be that big a deal, but as it is... it's hard not to be a little disappointed by it.

8455001
There was lots I'd have like to addressed, but due to time & word limits (I could have gone way over 5K), I decided to focus on the loving act.

Dreadnought

8455001
Don't get me wrong. I appreciate any and all feedback. I'm working on several other stories, so the more criticism and feedback I get, the better I can write going forward.

Dreadnought

Amazing story, thanks for it.

Generosity in it's purest form...Rarity should be rewarded Princesshood for this.

As beautiful as this story is, how does it have 673 views?

8966426
Meant as a compliment?

Dreadnought

8969158 Yes, it is meant as a compliment. I was just surprised at the view count for such a great fic. It's one of the ones I go to when I'm feeling down.

8969161
Thanks for your kind words. Though I tend to go to comedies when I'm feeling down. Shoot, now that I think about it, that may explain why I write so many of them.

Dreadnought

“There’s been an accident at the Cutie Mark Day Camp! Sweetie Belle has been rushed to the hospital!”

Oh no:pinkiegasp:!

Rarity stepped into the alcove and examined its contents, secreted away for who knew how long. She blew away the ancient dust and read the title: The Book of Forbidden Knowledge . Opening the book, Rarity scanned the table of contents. Suddenly her heart stopped: “Chapter 13: Necromancy.”

Uh-oh...:twilightoops:.

“Sweetie Belle!” cried Rarity. The two raced to one another and wrapped each other in a loving embrace. Sweetie Belle felt intensely warm and her fur soft. Rarity could feel the filly growing stronger, filling with life.

“What’s going on?” asked Sweetie. “Where are we?”

“We haven’t much time, dear. Just know that I love you very much and I did this for you.”

“Did what?” she asked, looking up into the tearing eyes of her sister.

Rarity knew the moment was over, and she stepped away from her sister. “I will be waiting for you on the other side.”

“Rarity! Wait!”

Rarity...no...:applecry:.

To my dearest friends,

If you are reading this letter, then the spell was successful and Sweetie Belle has returned to life. I’m afraid I will be unable to join in the celebrations. The price for her life was mine. I do not expect for you welcome my decision or even understand it. However, know that this is what I truly wanted and I happily gave my life for the sake of my sister. Please watch over her and be the older sister that I cannot. I will keep all of you with me as you will keep me with you.

Goodbye,

Rarity

:raritycry:!!!

Rarity A Wonderful Daughter A Loving Sister A True Friend Element of Generosity

:raritydespair:!!!

9160179
So... I hope you enjoyed the story. It's so hard to tell from emojis.

Dreadnought

9164299
Have you read my story "Deathbed Confession"? That's another "feelzy" story.

Dreadnought

This is DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP. I could go on a full-blown lecture about this thing, but I guess that I cant. A blog, maybe?

Applejack is the solid rock. I love the fact that AJ is the only one keeping these three together, and is exactly what I would expect from her. This story is pure awesomeness, tempered with a sadness of legit grief. I love it.

Oh, god. this is just plain and simple great writing. a good, somber story throughout, and though brief, can have a lot of meanings derived from it. I could try to list them, but I think I'm just overthinking it. Still, I love it.

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