Memoir of a King’s Master Consort by Sir Spike

by CrackedInkWell

2: Of Advice and Costumes

Two weeks. That was how long I have been pondering over it. Two weeks went by since Thorax offered me the position of personal consort. No surprise really that apart of the favors that Twilight and Starlight had asked me to do and Nightmare Night was coming up, I had a lot on my mind. It’s one thing to know that your best Changeling friend is in love with you. But it’s another when he wants you to be in some organized open relationship with too. This alone raised so many ethical questions for me. Before, I made a rule to myself that I wouldn’t date anyone who was already married. I wasn’t interested in having a spouse cheat on whoever they were with because of the potential mess that would make.

But… what about when the wife, a queen no less, not only knows about it and gave her full approval, but she’s perfectly okay with having her husband be with me too? On the one claw, Thorax did clearly say that he’s not in love with her and he didn’t get to pick her to be his wife. He’s had a crush on me for a couple of years now, and he is my friend after all. The guy wants to date me in which I should have no problem with because of my attraction and I know how to talk to him.

On the other… There has to be some consequence to this, isn’t there? Sure, the Changelings most likely wouldn’t mind me, and neither would Ember. (Besides, she has a certain fetish of watching two male dragons go at it… (Don’t ask how I know that.)) Not only that, but I’m pretty sure that nopony in the Royal Family would mind all that much as Blueblood had gotten himself married to a guy. It’s not so much of how others would react, but rather, if I decided to go along with it, would it work at all?

So two weeks later, I hopped on a train towards Canterlot for the sake of advice. Towards the only male gay couple that I know – after all, if there’s anypony that would have more experience in this sort of field, it would be Blueblood and Fancy. At this point in my life, they have been married for four years, successfully too. Of course, I had to write to Celestia to let me know where they were, and she replied that I could find them at Mt. Avalon’s National Park. So one train and taxi ride later, I arrived at the gate of the world’s highest park.

“Thanks for the ride,” I paid the driver what was due before turning my attention towards the series of boardwalks that crisscross the mountain like a spider’s web. “Okay, let’s see if I can find you guys.” I began my search for the couple. Climbing up the steps and across the wooden path through the forest of spruce and ferns, I was listening for any sign of them. Thankfully, it didn’t take too long to hear their voices.

“You know… it’s a miracle that… at my age that… I haven’t fainted from… lack of oxygen… from our walks.” This I recognized came from Fancy Pants as I was climbing a set of stairs, their voices becoming clearer.

“But you do know that it’s good for you,” his husband replied. “It’s best to keep up your shape with some form of exercise.”

I heard the other stallion wheeze as I got closer. “Celestia Blue… Can we at least rest for a bit?”

By the time I got up to their level, I found the couple I was looking for with the two of them sitting down on a bench and a few nearby solar guards flanking them at both sides of the seat. “There you guys are,” I called out to them. “I’ve been looking all over for ya.”

“Sir Spike?” Blueblood said. “Well, this certainly is a surprise.”

“Long time no see,” Fancy was hunched over and still out of breath as he said this. “What’s the occasion… old sport?”

“Well, besides my helping Twilight with the upcoming Nightmare Night,” I walked over until I was across from them, leaning up against the railing. “I have been keeping myself busy.”

“So what brings you to Canterlot?” Blueblood inquired. “Are you here to cart some pumpkins over to Ponyville or did Auntie Celestia need you for something?”

I admit I was blushing at the thought of what I was going to say, “Well… None of those actually. If anything, I was hoping if you guys could help me out here. With something that’s rather… personal.”

Both of them glanced at one another for a moment, “Whatever is the matter?” Fancy asked.

“First of all, have either of you heard that King Thorax had just got married?”

They nodded, “Quite unexpected if you ask me.” Fancy commented. “It’s rather strange that he would get married so soon and without warning.”

“Nor had the etiquette of inviting us to the wedding,” the Prince pointed it out. “I don’t know how prized weddings are to Changelings, but you would think that he would have said something beforehoof.”

“Uh yeah… about that…” I rubbed the back of my neck. “You see, I went over to the hive just the day after that happened. Turns out, his pack had chosen his bride for him in which they did it out of stability of the kingdom.”

“Oh dear…” Fancy said with a concerned look.

“But it’s good though. They’ve chosen a nice enough queen for him. However, as I’ve learned, he doesn’t see her as a lover as more of a sort of a political partner or something like that.”

“Excuse me,” Blueblood raised a hoof. “Why are you bringing this up in the first place?”

I took in a deep breath. “As I was saying… I was over there a couple of weeks ago because he wanted to see me. It was there that I’d learned that he just got married. However, he didn’t just want to tell me that. You see… his queen had given him her consent to have a… personal consort by his side for him to be in love with.”

“Really?” this took the Prince by surprise. “Like what they used to do in Prance?”

I laughed uneasily at that, “Exactly…”

“Did he say who he wanted his consort to be?” Fancy asked and I nodded. “Who is it?”

In response, I lifted a claw and pointed at me, “You’re looking at him.”

“Oh wow,” they said in unison.

“Yeah… I know I brought it up when you guys got married that I’d had suspected that Thorax might have liked me in such a way. Now that I know beyond a doubt, I’m not exactly sure where I stand in all of this.”

“Does Princess Twilight know?” Blueblood questioned.

I shook my head, “I’m planning on telling her as soon as I get back to Ponyville after I get some advice from you guys. You see, in the past when it comes to dating, I had a rule that I would never go out with somepony that’s already married. Since I don’t want to get others into trouble for cheating and all that, only… this isn’t quite the case. Like I said, Thorax’s wife has approved of me being a sort of… of Master or court consort or whatever-you-call-it. Don’t get me wrong, Thorax and I have been good friends from the start. But the real thing is: I don’t exactly feel the same way back. Sure, he told me that he loves me, but I don’t exactly feel that way towards him.”

“Are you saying that you won’t give him a chance,” Fancy pointed out, “Just so that the two of you would remain as friends?”

At this point, I just slid down until I sat on the boardwalk. “I… I don’t really know at this point. This is Thorax we’re talking about here. He has saved my life and I did the same with his. He has taught me so much as I have with him. We changed how the world saw us Dragons and Changelings, that we’re more complex than just being monsters. It would be eternally unfair for the guy that has had a crush on me for all these years to get nothing in return. While it’s entirely possible for me to feel the way he does, I don’t at the moment and I’m still weirded out by the whole married thing.”

Fancy hummed in thought, “And have you considered how your friends and family might react to this?”

I nodded, “To a degree, I had thought about what if I did take up the offer. I know the Princesses would be thrilled about it. Twilight would no doubt not only accept us but probably would do an intense case study on us too given what kind of Changeling Thorax is. Plus, her friends already know that I’m Bi so this shouldn’t come as any surprise. Admittedly though, I am concerned about what if it doesn’t go well and Ember finds out. After all, I’m part of the Dragon Clan, so if something really goes wrong, it might give her a reason to go into a full out war with the Changelings.”

Blueblood raised an eyebrow, “That sounds a little farfetched if you ask me. I thought that Ember and Thorax were on good terms with one another?”

“You never know.”

The prince rolled his eyes, “Sir Spike, speaking as one friend to another, I honestly think you are making this a much bigger problem for yourself then it needs to be.”

I blinked, “How so?”

“For one thing, his new Changeling queen is perfectly fine with this arrangement, which tells me that she and especially Thorax do place a lot of trust in you. You said so yourself that the queen isn’t there to be his lover, but as a partner to run their kingdom. Plus, maybe you should give him a chance to date you to see if he might be what you're looking for in a coltfriend. I say that with someone like him is a fantastic way to figure things out. Plus, even if it doesn’t work out, the worst you could expect is that things would get awkward between you two for a while.”

“So you’re saying that I should go ahead with it?”

Fancy mussed for a moment, “How about you give him a sort of test date to see if you really do want to have this sort of relationship? That way, you two could learn if you do want to be his handsome, young Master.” He said with a wink.

As much as I blocked out that last sentence, he did bring up a solution that I’d overlooked. A test date. Such a thing would give me an idea of what I’m getting myself into. Plus, it wouldn’t be official if I was just experimenting with the role. If it gets too awkward, we could call it off and nopony would be hurt as a result of it. Looking back at it now, I should have been kicking myself for not thinking of it sooner.

“You know what?” I said getting up, “That actually makes the most sense. Perhaps I should just suck it up and take a chance with it.”

“That’s the spirit!” Blueblood smiled. “Oh, and before you go, are you still planning to come to our Ogres & Oubliettes for Guys Night in November?”

“Is Shining and Sunburst coming over for guy's night?”

He nodded, “Unless another impending crisis comes, they’re committed to coming over. But what about Thorax? Are you going to convince him into joining us?”

“We’ll see,” I winked. “But for now, I think I have an idea what to do so I need to head back to Ponyville. It was nice seeing you both, it’s been a while.”

“Of course,” Blueblood poked his husband, “that wouldn’t be the case if he would at least come to guys night.”

His spouse rolled his eyes, “Please, I’m too busy with being a patron as it is. I wouldn’t have enough time even if I wanted to.”

“It could be fun.” While the prince was teasing his husband, I saw this as my point to leave. After saying goodbye to them, I began to head down the mountain with the answer I was looking for.

---

If there was a single holiday out of the whole year that the Changelings look forward towards, it was Nightmare Night. It was no secret that ever since Chrysalis was overthrown, Thorax had introduced to his hive the ideas of the holiday to them. If anything, as the years went by, they’d put in some unique twists of their very own.

Fortunately, the Changelings are masters of disguises. So on that night, the more fantastic or creative the getup, the better. Thorax had told me through letters that they had gone from historical characters to those in world fiction, myths, gods, spirits, monsters that don’t exist, or something new nopony has ever seen before. And so, on Nightmare Night, I decided to uphold that tradition myself as I arrived at the hive.

When I arrived as the sun was setting and the air was becoming chilly, the hive was dressed in lights. Stones of eerie greens, to sinister oranges and malicious violet lights, cast shadows both in and outside of the place. Every so often, weird shadows glided about the hive while laughter and shrieks perfumed the air.

Before I could cross the threshold of the kingdom, I took one last look at the costume I was wearing. That year, I decided to go for something of a Coltgyptian theme: masquerading as the god Sobek, the River God and the divine bodyguard for the Pharaoh. Since he was depicted as a crocodile, all I needed was the bejeweled arm and ankle bands, bracelets, a surprisingly heavy neckpiece, traditional kilt and the crocodile mask (all thanks to the hard work from Rarity’s skill). So after putting the mask on, I silently went towards the hive. At the same time, I’d noticed that Pharynx hadn’t jumped out at me.

For a while in search of Thorax, I didn’t find the need to hide in the shadows as the Changelings were already in their fantastic disguises, so I just blended in with the crowd. While I was looking around, I couldn’t help but take notice of the creatively nightmarish creations that these guys put on that year. From shadowy giants that had the legs of spiders to the realistic looking rotting zomponies, these guys could walk into any costume contest in Equestrian and win.

After some looking around, I was able to finally find not only the king but his brother too. They were in the, what one would call the “cafeteria” part of the hive where the brothers were by the punchbowl, talking. Silently, I made my way over to the point that I could hear them.

“Are you going to join in the festivities?” I heard Thorax asked as he poured a ladle full of… something green and glowing, into his cup. “You know you don’t have to chaperone me all night.”

Pharynx frowned, “I still don’t understand why you throw this every year, making yourself more vulnerable than any other day of the year.”

His younger brother let out a frustrating sigh, “Really? Are we seriously going to go through this again? I’m not in any danger and you know it. There are no monsters here except for our shape-shifting subjects that are doing this willingly. Besides, even if there is something that just waltzed in here, you think that I…” He trailed off and I froze in place as he was staring right at me. His brother followed his line of sight.

“Uh…” I spoke up with the voice of an idiot, “Trick or treat?”

“Spike?” Thorax asked. “Is that you?”

Seeing that my surprise was ruined, I forced myself to take off the mask. “Hey guys, Happy Nightmare Night.” No sooner had I completed this sentence was I tackled to the ground by the king who was obviously happy to see me.

“Spike! What a surprise! I didn’t know that you were coming.” You know, the guy sure has a real tight grip whenever he wants to show it unintentionally. I was waving my arms around for air. Mercifully he let go, “Oh,” he nervously chuckled, “Sorry about that.”

“Holy crap Thorax!” I exclaimed, “Did you always have super-strength and I just didn’t know about it?”

Pharynx laughed, “Never underestimate the strength of a Changeling King kid. Especially when he has a brother that’s on his flank to whip into shape. And besides, what are you doing here anyway? And dressed like one of those… Coltgyptian Gods?”

“It’s my costume,” I said dusting myself off and picking up the crocodile mask. “This year, I’m going as Sobek, the god of the Nile and divine bodyguard of the pharaohs. Like Thorax here,” I remembered winking at him. Here, Thorax’s green cheeks had darkened by several shades, as if realizing my true intent for coming here. “Besides,” I added, “Twilight doesn’t need me this year in Ponyville, so I thought that I might shake things up a bit by coming here. I’ve heard you’ve taken Nightmare Night in a unique way and I wanted to experience it up close.”

I’d noticed that Pharynx was looking at his younger brother the whole time as I was saying this, had an eyebrow raised up high. “Hey, are you okay?” he asked him.

“Huh?” this snapped his younger sibling’s attention. “Uh yeah, of course, I am. Hey, why don’t you go down towards the haunted dungeons, I’m sure that you could provide a scare or two down there.”

“But what about-”

“I’ll be fine Pharynx,” he said as he wrapped his foreleg around my shoulders. “Spike here is a dragon, even if something were to go wrong, he should be able to take care of it.”

But his suspicious expression didn’t subside, even when he started to head his way out, then it was just the two of us and some changelings that went in and out. “So how’ve you been?” I asked him as I put the mask back on.

“You mean besides planning Nightmare Night? Well, nothing significant has happened…” He returned his focus towards the bowl of mystery punch. “I have been waiting to hear from you.”

“About that,” I began, taking ahold of the heavy neckpiece to rub an itch out. “That’s the main reason why I’m here.” This managed to snap his attention. “I know that it has taken me two weeks to think this over and even ask a few ponies about it. But I have been thinking about what you told me the last time we met.”

“Oh?” he replied before downing a glass of glowing liquid. “And what is your answer?”

For a moment, I hesitated, and I could tell that Thorax was on edge as he was desperately trying to read off of me. No doubt from the emotions I was showing. “Firstly, I want to say that I’m flattered. It isn’t really every day that not just a king, but a Changeling King has taken an interest in me. Second, I’m sorry to tell you this, but as of right now, I don’t have those same feelings that you have towards me.”

There was a brief second in which he was devastated at this piece of news. So I quickly added, “But before you say anything, what I just said isn’t by any means that I’m rejecting you.” Now he looked confused. “You see, I’m not exactly sure if this would work at all. However, I know you. You are a great friend that anyone could ask for. So it would be rude of me after all those years we’ve known one another not to repay you for your kindness. I have come out here to say that I won’t fully accept it, unless, we do a sort of test run.”

The king blinked, “Test run?”

“Yeah.” I nodded, “I’m not asking you to take me out on a date right this very second. But sometime in the near future, we should give it a try or two. If it all goes well in which I feel comfortable dating you, then yeah, I’ll take up the offer. If not, at least we cut it off before it could get any worst. Does that make any sense?”

“Perfectly!” Thorax smiled widely, hugging me again but taking care not to crush me. “I promise that you won’t regret it.”

“I hope so,” I muttered.

“Hey, what do you want to do?” He asked me as he downed whatever the glowing punch was. “There’s a lot of activities around the hive from the disguise contest, the haunted dungeon below, there’s bobbing for gorbs, pop and scare, ghost storytelling competition, trick or treat, what are you in the mood for?”

“What’s that you’re drinking?” I pointed to the punch bowl.

“We call it Nightmare Nectar; it’s our own special brew. It may sound intimidating but it’s the sweetest thing you could ever taste. Want some?”

“Maybe later,” I said adjusting the mask. “One last thing before we go do something, can I ask you a personal question, Thorax?” He told me to go ahead. “Does your brother know about, well, that you want me to be your…”

“Uh…” his ears folded back against his head. “Not exactly. I mean, don’t get me wrong, he already knows about my orientation from a long time ago. Heck, I used to dabble in things that a male Changeling wasn’t supposed to at the time. He knows that I prefer guys, but he doesn’t know exactly who. Only Lavender knows about us.”

“Speaking of which, how is she with this arrangement or whatever you call this? I know she gave her consent, but won’t this cause any problems between you?”

He shrugged, “Not really. She’s not jealous or anything because otherwise, she wouldn’t have approved of you. But for now, let’s not worry about that, we have all night to have fun.”

“Fair enough, but what do you want to do? Just drink this stuff all night?”

“Nope,” he smirked as he got an idea. Then in a burst of green fire, there stood before me was the Coltgyptian God Anubis. “If anything, let me teach you how to play pop and scare.”

Comments

[TheVClaw]

(Besides, she has a certain fetish of watching two male dragons go at it… (Don’t ask how I know that.))

i.ytimg.com/vi/zQy5cIT_Stk/hqdefault.jpg
WHO WAS IT, SPIKE?

[CrackedInkWell]

8451448
I just accidentally given you an idea for a clopfic, didn't I?

[TheVClaw]

8451506
If I didn't already have a couple ideas planned and partially written, I would've said it was a possibility. But for now, not much.

[LaysPotatoChips]

8439821
Hey, I replied "A Thorax In My Side II"🎃

[fireflutterpony]

Yesssss, more gay romance!

I need to corral my illness-addled brain into doing some writing. This site needs more sappy gay romance stuff.

[musoperatica]

8461260
Oh my god i didn't see your response until just now! i'm sorry been in & out of this site from time to time dealing with my own stuff.
please pm me so we can talk. always on, never off:)