KONO DIO DA: DIO is Unbreakable

by DIO Brando

its another joke about the rohan ova

'After stealing that old man's wallet, I'm almost feeling a bit bad. It was pretty funny, though.'

So we're back at the Beautiful Duwang and a certain Josuke Higashikata is wandering through the streets after his nephew, badass Jotaro, had left along with his father, Joseph. It appeared that he had nothing to do, so he went to talk to a few friends.

'Come on, I know they were eating here somewhere. Where are they?'

Soon, he saw them from afar, being sure to wave at them before running to them.

"Oi, Josuke!" one shouted, waving back from a distance. Josuke was happy to see his friends. Okuyasu, Koichi, and Rohan. He was sure they were going to have a great ti—

"OH MY GOD." Josuke said as he saw a very odd looking Rohan with Kim Jong Un and a rapist. I mean Koichi and Okuyasu.

"Wh-what's wrong Josuke?" Kim—Koichi asked.

"Rohan! What the Hell is wrong with you?!" Josuke asked as his Shining Diamond—

COUGH

—Crazy Diamond was summoned to attempt to fix this mistake.

"Don't worry about it, Josuke," Rohan sighed, shaking his head, "you can't fix David Production's mistake this time, no matter how much you break it, it's beyond repair."

"What do you mean?" Josuke asked in confusion.

"My OVA came out instead of part five," Rohan said with a smile. Josuke gasped at the mention of his OVA, stepping back in shock.

"Take it back! Everyone's been waiting for part five!" Josuke shouted with a curled fist. Rohan only frowned as he replied.

"I refuse."

"DORARARARARARARARARA!" Josuke had used Shi—Crazy Diamond to punch a hole in time itself and hop through it, fixing it as he left.

Honestly, I can't blame him.

---

"I just got a new reading, someone else has entered the universe!" Twilight said, putting on some funky glasses and tampering with some far-ahead-of-her-time machines.

Rainbow Dash walked over to take a look, then decided that calculus wasn't really her thing.

"Yeah, you have fun with that, I'm going to return to my nap," Dash said.

"Rainbow! This is really important!" Twilight whined.

"Yeah yeah, tell someone who cares, or much less actually understands."

At that moment, DIO opened the door, Luna following behind him.

"Princess!" Twilight said suddenly, bowing.

"Heyyyy lookiz. . .Dee-oh. . ." Rainbow Dash said with half-lidded eyes and a dopey smile.

"What is the information?" DIO asked. Twilight rose to take a look at the paper.

"According to this math, something has altered the matter-to-energy ratio significantly!" Twilight explained. DIO took a closer look.

"Several things could do that," DIO pointed out.

"Yes but this amount of energy, moreso the nature of it is like with you and the other Stand user!"

"Perhaps it could be something else with a similar power?"

"Stand power is so unique, it can't be mistaken for anything else."

"Hm. So why point out the energy over the nature?"

"It seems to have more energy than The World did, and excessively more than the other Stand user."

DIO thought about this for a moment. It couldn't be Jotaro, could it? No, Jotaro's Star Platinum might have exceeded his The World, but not significantly.

"I can pinpoint their location for you, if you'd like, DIO." Twilight proposed with a smile. DIO frowned, still looking at the paper.

"That will do."

---

"Aggh. . .breaking space itself was probably a bad idea. . ." Josuke groaned, looking at the dark, technicolor landscape. He slowly got up, very woozy before he caught a glimpse of three ponies and a large blonde man. "Oh hi mister! Could you tell me where I am?"

'Why do I feel such a familiarity towards this human?'

Author's Note:

No joke, that climactic part of "Killer" played as soon as I began to type "OH MY GOD." at the introduction of this chapter.

Perfect goddamn timing.

So I'm back again and I've given you what, 616 words about? Pretty shit, I know, but I'm tired and I just had to get this new idea out of my system. It took me a while to think of something else that would be a bit more story-worthy than just "oh lol he said 'kono dio da' again hahahaha" or something overused like that. Don't get me wrong, I love overused jokes, they're funny in a lot of ways when used right, but I want a little more substance to this, so I gave it a break. Now I know what I want to do with it, so just be patient a little longer my kiddos.