I am a part of the grey knights chapter, and all will bow before my creative skills!...i-if you want to that is
When Twilight Stumbles upon a cave on her way Zecora's, she awakens something ancient, in fact its the reason the Everfree forest exists in the first place, so when she wakes up an enormous monstrosity half the size of Ponyville, she isn't expecting it to whine at her for waking it and saying it didn't want to go to school today.
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The thing in the picture is Photoshop Flowey, right?
8454795
Yes, yes it is,
8454882
You are most certainly right this is definitely a thing
...well then, colour me impressed.
8554954
, first time doing a mlp story, truth be told
thank you!
8554979
o.o
Tell me you jest?
...
...You aren't kidding... *presses audience applause button*
You sir, have me even more impressed, if this story becomes available with crossovers I would like to do one whenever possible, for you are a great writer. Here is a link to the story I would like to have yours crossover with (AKA my displaced story).
8554979
Also, that was one helluva quick response... nice job...
8554996
Sure I'd be up for it, though I want to get a few more chapters into the story first and have everything settle down a bit before I start doing crossovers with anyone
8555071
Alright, just PM me whenever you are ready, m' kay?
(P.S. cookie to anyone who can guess where that is from)
Thing? I like a thing! I can like this thing!
THIS IS GREAT ANDILOVEITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
Suggestion, have the Elements reveal to her of the past and how they wanted to stay with the ponies they bounded with.
Heeey? This is mildly entertaining!
Heeey? This is very entertaining!
... *slow clap*
I'll give credit where credit is due, I'm liking this story so far, keep up the excellent work.
This story is great hope to see more of it
8564390
, I try my best
thank you
Might I suggest having the elements wish to stay with Twilight and her friends because they bonded with them as they actively represented the elements? And explain why Celestia and Luna took the Elements in the first place. And maybe add a little backstory on how she became Flowey (if she can remember how that is).
other than those suggestions great story
And all that weight came crashing down. Though a bit much, it was good narrative wise. I wish to see more!
Am I the only one that is laughing and crying at the same time
Why? It's not bad but why?
8568690
I have no real reason, the idea popped into my head and it wouldn't stop bugging me until I wrote it
Plus I hadn't gotten any sleep at the time
8569304
First of all, well done... even if albeit random...
8569304
Second of all, you and the recent glitchtale episode 4: LOVE part 2 have given me... inspiration for something
8569666
Thank you, I'm glad I could inspire you, but if its okay, can I know what part of this has inspired you?
8569674
Mainly, the SOULS being linked to the Elements, I might have an idea with that in mind, implementing it however... hmm...
8569676
Interesting, well I look forward to whatever you have planned
8576169
Thanks!
And yeah, I may get excited when I finish a chapter and post it right away...Sorry?
Maybe you can do non-cannon mini series in your story, I always love that kind of stuff.
I Like it.
Good story can't wait for the next chapter
Shrug» imagine if rainbow dash was hooked to the rainbow machine as punishment....causing it to go atomic.Destroyed by her own awesome. Her last words when she she's the glowing ,shaking storage unit.."Aw Crud."
This is good, I like the idea, and I really hope this story doesn't die before this story is complete. Also 😆 the rainbow factory one made me laugh.
P.S. I'ma favorite next chapter if that's okay?
Do you have an editor yet? your story could be improved a lot grammatically wise. If not, a few tips for paragraphs. 1: There should only ever be one person talking in a paragraph, even if that means a paragraph is only one-two sentences long. 2: A paragraph should have one focus, if you need to change focus you make a new paragraph. 3: Paragraphs lend themselves to be expressive. You don't need to shove thirty words in there to describe one thing, but 2-4 words to describe one thing is good which makes a paragraph less bloated.
For the story itself, it's interesting. Give some thought into how Flowey came to be the mother of the everfree and maybe make a prelude. I was kinda confused when I read this and I felt that Flowey's anger was kinda out of nowhere. It makes it harder to sympathise with her and makes her seem more of a villain. The last thing is the conflict was too quickly resolved. Where paragraphs shouldn't be bloated, adding a few extra is fine. A story should be engaging and should draw someone in. This is why one chapter fics and long chapter fics are popular, one uses a quick narrative or a simple character to tell a powerful story, and the other uses a story to create powerful characters. "Discord's Library" and "Shattered Skies" are two very well done stories, one is completely with canon characters and the other has many original characters. Discord's Library uses Discord masterfully and tells a powerful story about Discord. Shattered Skies uses a story to expand its characters into fully fleshed out... characters. My point is to really delve into what makes Flowey, Flowey in this fic. This really is an interesting fic. And I have high hopes for it ^w^ You just need a little help and I hope you get it
8703644
No I don't have an editor, but I try my best, I apologize when I miss things
Also, thank you for the advice, I'll keep it in mind when I get around to the next chapter, I'll probably get into the flowey prelude, backstory thing next chapter, and I'll see if I can turn around how quick the conflict was solved next chapter as well, maybe have some disagreement between the mane six and celestia on what they should do
8703839
That's a good idea ^w^ I hope to see you get better
It really sucks to be Tirek right now.
Is it dead?
8741623
no, I'm just not in the right mood for writing at the moment, you have to be in the right state of mind to write or it just becomes a chore
8741683
I know how it is, I was just looking to know the status
Will there be a flashback chapter that will explain how "Queen Flowey" became Displaced? Cause if not, well, I guess that will only leave your readers clueless to her origins in terms of how she came to Equestria, where she was at prior to coming to Equestria & how she acquired the item/items that sent her there.
I like this a lot more than I thought I would.
SMASH DAT FACTORY OMEGA SMASH
SMASH
This is such a good story already! I love it! Keep up the good work!
Continue?
Do you plan on continuing this?
Up-date, Up-date, Up-date.
Is this dead??