Rabbit Tracks

by Krickis

Grief (Fluttercord)

Author's Note:

Based on this Fluttercord comic. Can’t believe I wrote something with a straight Fluttershy. That’ll never happen again.

In all things, there should be chaos. It just wasn’t any fun if there wasn’t. And in most things, Discord could find chaos, or else he could make it. But time? Time was beyond his grasp. It only went one way, always at the same speed, and there was nothing he could do about it.

He knew, because he’d tried. Not right away. No, Fluttershy wouldn’t have liked that. Perhaps she wouldn’t have liked him trying at all. If so, then disappointing her one more time would be just another thing on the list of reasons to stay in bed.

Had he disappointed her? No, he didn’t think so. Fluttershy was happy. Or she had been. Past-tense, she was happy no more. She was nothing anymore, nothing but gone. A memory of better days, of better times.

But yes, DIscord had tried to work his chaos magic on time itself. Perhaps he could make it go backwards, or else just move through it. He could go back into the past, he was sure his past self would understand. And besides, imagine Fluttershy’s surprise when there were suddenly two of him! Her face would be priceless.

But it seemed that time cared little for what the Lord of Chaos wanted.

What Discord wanted seemed to matter little to anyone or anything now.

Like that knocking at the door. Discord wanted it to stop, but it just kept going. Why could nopony take a hint and just leave him be?

“Discord, I know you’re in there,” Spike called through the door. There weren’t many of the old group left these days, but Spike would still be around for a few centuries to come. It was a comfort to have a friend that would be there for some time to come, even if Discord didn’t feel very comforted at this moment.

Discord threw the blanket over his head and ignored the knocking. Ignored the pleading in Spike’s voice, ignored the thought of his friend being so worried about him. He was curled up in what had once been Fluttershy’s bed, and he was not going to move from it.

---

It was a shame Fluttershy flew so rarely. She was always so graceful in flight, and Discord loved to watch her. The two of them twirled through the air in sync with one another, as much a dance as a flight.

And then Fluttershy stopped flying. She fell to the ground as if her wings had been clipped, screaming for Discord to save her. He broke into a dive, chasing her as fast as he could. Somewhere along the way she stopped screaming, her whole body going limp as she fell.

Discord could do anything. He was the Lord of Chaos, he could snap his fingers and a flying rabbit would come and catch Fluttershy. He could do anything, but he could not catch her. She fell, and although he should have been faster than her, she only grew father away.

And then there was the ground. It was approaching fast, any moment now…

“Discord, stop!” a voice rang out, and the world froze.

Discord swooped down to save Fluttershy, but she vanished into smoke when he touched her. In her place, he felt a hoof on his shoulder.

“I’m dreaming, aren’t I?”

“You are,” Luna said gently. “You’ve had this dream before.”

“Every night, I almost catch her. But then she slips away from me.”

“It is not easy for ones such as ourselves to lose a loved one.”

A part of Discord wanted to snap at her, insist that he was chaos itself, that some pony princess could never know how she felt.

But then he looked into her face, and he saw that she did. Luna had also lived through ages, and she understood as well as anyone ever could. “Yes, well, it would be easier if these nightmares would stop. That’s your job, isn’t it?”

“I will do all I can, of course. But the nightmares won’t stop until you accept the loss.”

At that, Discord did snap. “I have accepted it! I know she’s gone, and I know she’s never coming back!”

“I know, but that is not what I meant.” Luna looked off to the side, where butterflies were fluttering. “You have accepted she is gone, but you have not yet accepted the ways that she is not. Surely there is more to Fluttershy than the hole she left behind.”

Discord folded his arms. “If you’re going to talk in riddles, we might as well not talk at all.”

“If I could give you the answer, I would. I am sorry, Discord.”

“Everyone’s sorry. Every time I see anypony, that’s all they have to say to me.”

Luna turned back to Discord, her eyes full of understanding. “It will get easier, but you must allow the change to come. Start small. Take a walk.”

“You think a walk is going to heal this pain?” Discord asked skeptically.

“I think a walk is a good way to start.”

“And here I thought you were the wise one. Come see me when you have some real advice.”

Luna sighed. “I hope you will take my words to heart. And if I can, I will try to intervene sooner next time.”

Discord didn’t say anything, so within a few moments, Luna disappeared.

---

Of all the stupid suggestions… A walk. That’s what Luna thought would help DIscord get over the loss of the only pony he’d ever loved. A walk.

It was such a stupid idea that he had to do it, just to prove her wrong.

He found himself hesitating before opening the door. He had not left the cottage since the funeral, had not once opened the door for visitors. This place had been their home, the place he shared with Fluttershy, and it was filled with so many reminders of her. He did not want to be away from it.

But he needed to show Luna what a stupid idea this was. So he opened the door and stepped outside. It was a midsummer morning and a nice breeze was blowing. He stepped outside, and just to make sure Luna couldn’t say he didn’t listen to her directions properly, Discord walked rather than flew.

He didn’t have anywhere specific in mind. He barely noticed where he was going at all. All along the way, he thought about Fluttershy and how she would want him to get out of the cottage like this. But that didn’t mean Luna was right, it just meant that ponies were silly and sentimental and that included Fluttershy as well as Luna!

And if Discord had watched where he was walking? Well, he would have picked a different path. Any other path. Going straight into Ponyville would have been preferable to where he found himself once he snapped out of his daze.

Sweet Feather Sanctuary. The cottage had been theirs, the two of them together. This place was exclusively Fluttershy. Of course, Discord had been there many times. But never without Fluttershy, and he had never once tried to impose his own chaotic views on it. It was too special for that, too near and dear to the mare he loved so much.

Discord considering turning around and marching straight back to the cottage. If he did, he would have barricaded the doors and not listened to anything else silly pony princesses had to say to him.

But… what would Fluttershy say about the way it was getting so overrun with weeds? The grass was meant to be long enough for the animals, but not this long. And a storm must have broken off some branches of nearby trees, because it was absolutely littered with debris.

This would not do. Fluttershy may be gone, but if she was somewhere looking down on this, she would go faint at the sight. With a sigh, Discord got to work.

---

It took all week, but Discord did it. Sweet Feather Sanctuary had never looked better, and his efforts showed. Animals were scarce at the sanctuary when he started, but now they were coming back. Discord smiled at his work.

He smiled. Discord smiled. In a world without Fluttershy, Discord still managed a smile.

It was brief, and it was small. Within moments, he was sulking again. What was he going to do with himself now? It had been nice fixing up the sanctuary. So much so that he had done the whole thing without magic. But now that was done, and Discord didn’t have anything left to do.

“Wow…”

Discord wheeled around to see a young filly looking at the sanctuary. “Who are you, and what are you doing here!?” Discord snapped.

She reeled back. “I-I’m sorry! I was just following those butterflies, and I wound up here!”

Discord looked where she pointed, and he saw that there were indeed butterflies fluttering around. “Well this is private property. Go home.”

“Oh, okay…” the filly said dejectedly. “But I, uhm, well… this place is really beautiful.”

“Hmph.” What did some kid know about this place? She couldn’t possibly appreciate it like he could.

“I’ll, uhm, I’ll leave you alone…”

“Do… you like animals?”

The filly turned back with a look of surprise. “I love animals.”

“I could… show you some of them,” Discord said bashfully. “I know a lot about the animals that live here.”

The filly went wide-eyed. “Okay!”

---

Discord lay on the ground at Sweet Feather Sanctuary, looking up at the clouds rolling through the night sky. Things felt a little better. Things got a little easier. Not a lot. Just a little, here and there.

But it happened every day. Each new day was a little easier than the last. Discord would make his way to Sweet Feather Sanctuary, and he would see Posey, the little filly that had taken to calling him ‘Uncle Discord’. He taught her about the animals that lived in the sanctuary, and it helped fill the time and take the edge off his hurt.

And then one day he didn’t really hurt. He still missed Fluttershy. He would always miss Fluttershy. But the pain wasn’t really there.

Discord watched the clouds, and he swore they looked like butterflies.

This place was Fluttershy. But not just this place. She was part of Discord now, a part of him that would never leave.

“Maybe,” Discord said to nopony in particular. “Maybe I was wrong.” He placed his paw over his heart. “I guess I can spend the rest of my life with you after all.”

Comments

[FanOfMostEverything]

Heartbreakingly beautiful, especially the butterflies guiding Posey to the sanctuary. Excellent portrayal of both grief and moving on from it.

[Moproblems Moharmoney]

*feels intensifies*

[Krickis]

11420787
Lol when I read the comic this was based on, just had to take a pot shot at everyone's feels