• Published 13th Aug 2018
  • 664 Views, 48 Comments

Love is not Blind! Not even close - Sense of Humor



The Element of Generosity has a unique problem on her hooves.

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Visions of Grandeur

Rarity carried the hat in her magical grip, eyeing it from every angle as she eagerly trotted forward. She admired every little detail about it--from the seams to the fabric to the color. It was all one flawless mixture of things that should be in every hat, working off of each other. She may have overdone things from the original design, but it didn't matter to her and she hoped it didn't matter to Chrome.

Chrome. Chrome Texture.

Rarity figured describing him to any pony would be a perilous task. Well, he was certainly a pony who's entire life was based on sarcasm and being horrendously mysterious when he wasn't being snide. When she was taking his head measurements, she'd curiously asked about why he moved to Ponyville. When he merely stated that the train he was on was the reason, she couldn't say that she was surprised. They didn't really talk much after and soon he was on his merry way.

Well, hopefully, the quest to solve this living friendship problem would take a step in the right direction with this custom made hat. Rarity wasn't sure what problems lay within the mind of this unhappy stallion, but if her cutie mark said she needed to solve it then she would do everything in her power to do just that. Just as soon as she removed the odd paper from her face.

The fashionista peeled it away with her magic, briefly checking to see if her mascara had rubbed off on it. A familiar pony carefully slowed to a halt in front of her, reaching out with a timid hoof. "Oh, I'm terribly sorry about that. I have to keep a good grip on these papers."

"Oh, it's fine, Mr.Hooves. I...Hmm?" She briefly paused and looked over the paper, eyes reading a couple of words while overshadowed by a picture of a sculpture. She blinked at the surprising detail and read the words more. "Hmmm...Marble Sculptures. Hourly schedule inside."

Doctor Hooves laughed to himself as she handed back the flyer. "These have been passed out all day so far. A blind stallion in town has the majority, so I assume he's advertising for a new friend in town.

Rarity nodded thoughtfully. Perhaps she would pay this sculptor a visit for a brief modeling session. " Um...I may know that stallion. " The unicorn looked around. "Is he still around?"

"Yep. The middle of the square." He pointed out verbally, in the process of moving past her. "I imagine he's got a few minutes to go before he runs out of flyers."

Nodding with a hum, the white unicorn made her way to the middle of town, noting that there were a lot more ponies gathered here than usual even though they weren't all in the same area. Some were here, some were there and some were both. Amongst the chatty hordes, she spotted her particular stallion carefully wandering out from among them with a flyer or two in his magical possession.

"Fancy seeing you here." She called out softly as he began to pass her by from a few hooves away. "Are the fish biting?"


He stopped in his tracks for a moment, before he deciphered who the voice belonged to and relaxed. "Fish?"

"Yes. Are they biting?"

"I'm not quite sure I follow."

Rarity pursed her lips. "Fish biting at a lure. I was using that to compare to passing out flyers." When he still looked confused, she tilted her head. "Surely you've gone fishing at least once in your life?"

Chrome adjusted his dark glasses. "Well, the lack of sight tends to put a damper on having any sight-based hobbies."

"You'd be surprised what a pony can do, even with...limitations." To speedily change the subject, she went back to the flyers. "Might I have one of those advertisements? I hear they're for sculptures?"

Chrome seemed to stand a little taller, quickly handing her a flyer. "Yes. I'm staying with a friend of mine who does sculptures to pay the bills wherever we live. " He paused and rubbed his chin. "That is to say, he stays with me in my house here in ponville."

"Hmm." Despite getting a good look earlier, she scanned over the paper again. "I should love to meet your friend! Perhaps he is part of this whole friendship problem you're involved in."

Even with the thick glasses, she could see him rolling his eyes at that. "Eh, maybe someday. He likes to busy himself with customers, so there's no time for personal meetings." He shrugged. "I wasn't expecting so many ponies to want to take one of these. I take it Ponyville has never had a sculptor before?"

"Well, no. Not at all," Rarity gave herself a moment to think before explaining a bit before."The only art we usually have are paintings and, if you include it, fashion from yours truly. Speaking of which, here is your hat."

"O-Oh. You actually...made it for me?"

"Of course I did. You didn't think I was playing some kind of prank on you, did you?"

Chrome didn't answer her, which made her frown. She opened her mouth to ask about about this as he put on the hat, then beat her to words. "Th-Thank you, Rarity. This hat is... adequate."

"I..." She started to ask, but stopped herself for some reason. "Um, you are very welcome."

Chrome either didn't notice her hesitation or didn't want to acknowledge it. "Well, I learned a little bit more about you from others in Ponyville. They all say nice things about you."

As he started off in a specific direction, she idly followed beside him. She wasn't sure if he knew where he was going, but they weren't exactly on a straight path towards a cliff or anything. "Oh, really?" She said, perhaps a little more coy than she intended to sound. "Things like what?"

He shrugged. "Just that you make really good clothes and dresses. Best in Ponyville, and you don't overprice your merchandise." He paused. "When I asked, a few people described you as a young unicorn mare with a white coat, a purple mane and blue eyes. They also said your body is perfect and you have nice hips. Were they close?"

Rarity bit her bottom lip in thought. "Well, I like to think of myself as a moderate adult and my coat is really more Alabaster than just white. My mane is actually midnight violet, my eyes are definitely cerulean and my hips..."

The mare blinked as something dawned on her. "They said I have nice hips?"

"Well, basically. They really said things ranging from," With a smug smirk, he imitated another voice. "She's got hips that swing like a bell or Her's flank a perfect hooful. I might have even heard something along the lines of : I'd love for her to sit on my face sometime."

Rarity was no longer an alabaster/white unicorn, needless to say. "You...! You're joking! No pony said that!"

"You'd be surprised what stallions think about some pony when they're backs are turned. Or in your case, backside."

"That's not funny." And it wasn't--there was nothing funny about such unflattering remarks. Her butt wasn't even as awe-inspiring as they claimed! "And if you know what's good for your jaw--"

"Well its not like I agree with them. Can't really confirm the hype for myself, you know. Not without physical confirmation." He shook his head a little. "Even if I could see for myself, judging beauty based on exterior looks is pretty shallow."

Rarity blinked at him from a side long angle. "Shallow is a...well, I suppose it's a fitting word choice." She looked around to see that they were at the end of a street, with a sparse number of ponies around. After searching for the street number, the mare coughed softly. "Um, we're on 23 Neighbolt street."

"Ah yes. My house should be up over that hill in front of us." He nodded as he began to ascend the baby mountain. "Your company was mildly appreciated, Miss Bell Hips."

She did her best to ignore the remark, watching him go with reluctance. She highly doubted he'd have a reason to be outside tommorow--not after spending a few days moving in and one day of advertising. The mare found herself idly wondering if there was any way she set up a meeting for tomorrow. After all, her cutie mark wasn't going to solve itself.

"Um, Chrome, darling?"

"Chrome Texture." He corrected as he stopped.

"Yes, erm..." She rubbed her foreleg. "...Perhaps if you're feeling hungry tomorrow morning, we could...I don't know...have breakfast at a cafe I know?"

The stallion held very still for a long time, back turned her in silence. The tense moment of noiseless thought ended with a simple, emotionless word: "No."

Rarity flinched as he promptly trotted up the hill and out of sight, and with him perhaps the first chance at solving this friendship problem.

"Ugh. I just can't seem to do anything right with this." The mare sighed and walked off.